HELP! CRISIS! Disaster with pregnancy scan - please help

[runwiththemoon]

Right, here's the problem. My sister is very happily married to a wonderful man and they have two kids. My sister suspected she was pregnant and took a test which was positive. So far so good. Working out the dates, they guessed she must be well over nine weeks (as they hadn't had sex since then!) Sister slightly suprised she had had a period though since last sex though...

WELL. Gone for dating scan today and hospital say definately only six weeks.

S**t hits fan.

I know my little sister and I know she is telling me the complete truth that she has not slept with anyone else. Husband unsuprisingly wants to know how this baby can have been conceived if there has been no sex since well before xmas.

What the hell has happened? Can scans ever be so very wrong? I wondered if there could be a growth problem with the baby? What's the likelyhood of pregnancy if there was no penatration but a bit of, shall we say, horseplay?

Meanwhile my sister and her husband are falling apart. He is not talking.

I found out I was pregnant on the 28th feb last year, when I was just under 4 weeks pregnant. I had an early scan at 7 weeks, and was told that I was only just over 5 weeks pregnant which meant I would have had a postive test 2 days after I fell pregnant Anyway just to show you that scans can be out. I had a scan at 10 weeks and my dates were bang on, I had ovulated early that month.

I found out I was pregnant on the 28th feb last year, when I was just under 4 weeks pregnant. I had an early scan at 7 weeks, and was told that I was only just over 5 weeks pregnant which meant I would have had a postive test 2 days after I fell pregnant Anyway just to show you that scans can be out. I had a scan at 10 weeks and my dates were bang on, I had ovulated early that month.

I work out that you should be about 8 weeks, going by when you had sex, but sperm can hang about for about a week, so you could be 7 week.

Her 'period' may well have been an implantation bleed. B ut they need to do some serious talking about his trust problems, no matter what. Has she been a bit lively in the past? Or is he an insecure control freak?

I was also told that early scans are not as accuate as the dating scans

Thanks SparklyGothKat!

according to the hospital, at first, I concieved on the 26th feb, I actually concieved on the 11-13th feb.

i think you should get her to print this out and show him how very possible it is.

ds is proof that you can get pregnant via horseplay

I do actually know someone who got pregnant through "horseplay" and NO penetration. That is possible.

There is a huge difference between a 6w fetus and a 9w fetus.

Sperm can live quite some time inside a woman and implantation can take up to 10 days following conception - that might take account of around 2 weeks.

As for the comment - something wrong if they haven't had sex for 9 weeks - well - that might be the case for the person who wrote that themself, but not necessarily for everyone else.

My husband has a chronic illness, that means sometimes for weeks at a time he might not want (or feel like) having any sex. It is not a reflection of the state of our relationship.

Also, with our current pregnancy and it's difficulties, we have been advised not to have sex at all - so have now abstained for 20 weeks (since conception!!!).

We are still happily married.

Are they calculating with it in mind that if the dating scan says six weeks than that actually means six weeks since your last period - not six weeks since sperm met egg? So in real time it is probably closer to 4 weeks or 3 weeks. They say the pre-ejaculate of a man is actually very potent, so I wouldn't count the horseplay theory out of the question for two very fertile people...

OK, this is a very gross anecdote, but I'm just trying to illustrate a point here. Please don't read any further if you're squeamish.

"Horseplay" can definately get you pregnant. On another message board I knew a woman who became pregnant through anal . Now I know what you're thinking, but bear with me here, apparently the medical term is "drippage" (ick!). She was certain she had only had anal as that was her form of "contraception".

So even if all my sex ed classes hadn't told me that any kind of contact between the penis and the vagina can get you pregnant because of pre-cum etc possibly containing the odd sperm here and there, the story of this baby's conception has me convinced that I need to be extremely wary of sperm as they're resourceful little blighters!

My MIL had ?periods? for the first 5 months of pregnancy, she also took several pregnancy tests which all came out negative and the doctors couldn?t work out what was wrong with her. When they finally twigged she was pregnant she was on the cabbage soup diet to try and get rid the belly she was developing and being tested for leukemia. Not the same as your sis I know, but thought I?d mention it as she?s still having periods and the docs can get things wrong?

Also I fell pg from withdrawl method too, and I have a friend who conceived both her children immediately after her period ended, I guess it depends how fertile you both are.

Personally if you can afford a private scan I?d go for it, and maybe get them to check out the placenta at the same time (if they can that early?) in case that?s affecting the fetus? growth? I may be wrong, and I?d def check this with a medical person, but my sisters first baby was very small and they said that was to do with the placenta?

Hope it all works out xx

I read recently that sperm can live for 8 days, so if they "arrived" before the egg was released, and no-one's periods are exactly on time, and you can easily have what you think is a normal period after you are pregnant, and babies growth can differ considerably, sounds like her DH needs to trust her a bit more. Really hope it gets sorted x

Tractors, what a horrible time for you. I do hope your DH see the light soon.

Unfortunately my dates were moved back nearly two weeks from my LMP because there was a major problem with my son, which wasn't actually identified until much much later. Medical staff are often taught that all babies grow at the same rate for the first 12 weeks or so, hence can be quite adamant about scan accuracy. However for some more unusual problems the growth is disrupted very early.

I really don't mean to scare you, but just hope you can use my experience to show your DH that there are lots of reasons why scans can be seriously out. I think that horseplay is much more likely to be the answer here!

Also was told that scan can be -/+ 2 weeks

Check this out - there is a world of difference between 6 weeks and 9 weeks on a scan - 9 weeks is underneath.

(baby2see.com/development/ultrasound_sonogram/first_trimester_scans.html#week6

actually if you look on my profile and scroll down my pics, you will find a pic of my 10 week scan i was 9 weeks 5day when it was done

Are you sure the dating they gave you was from LMP? I ask because when I had my internal scan they gave me a dating which was from conception - so had to add two weeks for LMP dating (assuming regular cycles, which I don't have, hence the dating scan).

If your date was from conception, then you would be 8+2 which is not miles from 9 weeks...certainly close enough for a very usual measurement error.

i havent got a clue how to work out your dates etc

but i really hope you work it all out and go on to have a happy healthy pregnancy
xx

Was it definately a period that your sister had? With both dd's I had heavy bleeds during the first 14 weeks & if I hadn't known I was pregnant,could have mistaken them for a period.Plus my mum hasd periods for 4 months before she found out she was pregnant.It can happen.

Wishing your sister all the best.