Pregnancy after Miscarriage - Welcome to Knicker Checkers Anonymous II

[TwilightSurfer]

And so we continue...

Great news ILTS!!!

ILTS I was waiting to hear that, so happy for you!

Woo! Fab ILTS!

thats great news ILTS

Girls - if anyone's remotely interested, have just posted pics of DS on my profile, some now and some of when he was tiny wee at birth.

I know I'm hardly the most objective critic but I think he's damn cute

ILTS have just (re)joined, so not sure what scare was but glad it's gone away

Hi there

I have my final rountine scan with the consultant today and that will be it until my 20 week one. I'm nearly 17 weeks now so was thinking I'd only have 3 weeks to wait. In my last pregnancy I found out my baby had died at my 20 weeks scan so I am counting the days until I get past this point. I have just rang to chase up my appointment and have been told it won't be at least until 22 weeks! I'm beside myself. I can't stop crying... how will I be able to wait that long. We haven't told anyone apart from parents yet and have been looking to the 20 week scan to be the trigger to hopefully breathe a sigh of relief and finally start to believe we might actually have a baby. I really don't want to tell people until we have had the 20 week scan and are as sure as we can be that all is well. I can't face telling work (didn't last time either) and have it all go wrong and I don't think I'll be able to hide the pregancy for another 5 weeks. Does anyone else feel 22 weeks is rather late for the scan. I am thinking that for my own sanity I may need to book a private scan a couple of weeks earlier. I know I need to calm down for the babys sake and I'm surprised how upset I am but I guess its partly because my previous due date has just past and I've put so much emphasis on getting through the 20 week scan.

Thanks for listening...

Hi pb

that's completely SHOCKING that they won't scan you earlier given your past traumatic experience, your poor poor thing

I agree that a private scan might be the only way to help you relax but they shouldn't be making you stress about organising one, they shold be looking after you!!

Can you try phoning a midwife or even your consultant direct? I had 2 m/c last year (but no way as late as you which much be extra awful) and have had various bleeding / cramping / symptoms vanishing / food poisoning scares scares this time. In the end, I got scanned at 7, 9, 11, 14 and 19 weeks cos I rang up and made a big fuss. Ok they think I'm a fruit loop (which I am )but that's not the point is it? It put my mind at rest so, like you say, you can actually tell people at work

p2b I completley understand how you feel. If I was in your situation and could afford to I would book a private scan at 20 weeks. I really know how important the weeks are and what it's like to make goals in terms of weeks. I really hope all goes well at your appointment today, I would tell the consultant how you feel and hopefully he will be able to move you 20 week scan to 20 weeks.

Hi
Thanks for your replies.

I have calmed down a bit now and have to say that the care I have received this time around has been great. I have been scanned by the consultant at 11, 13, 15 and today I will be 17 weeks so maybe I'm acting a bit spoilt. It's just that 5 weeks seems so far away and 3 seemed so much more manageable. I will mention the situation to the consultant this afternoon. I guess I just feel I'm wishing my life away at the minute to try and get past a point when hopefully I feel more confident of the pregnancy and more emotionally able to deal with it. I am really worried that if I do not feel reassured that all is as well as it can be when I start to show and people comment on the pregnancy I am just going to be angry and defensive because I won't want to talk about it because of what happened last time. I just want to be happy about it..

p2b yet again I understand how you feel. I was at my inlaws last week and MIL asked how it was giong and I told her things were fine at the moment but there is still a chance of m/c or from nest thursday when I will be 24 weeks prem labour. FIL wasn't in the room and asked a few mins later how many weeks I was and when I said 22 he said oh well everything will be fine now all you need to worry about is the birth. The fact he didn't seem to understand what was going on really bothered me but I don't have the energy to keep explaining. I really don't feel like talking about it with him anymore as he obviously hasn't listened to what I said about it in previous weeks.

goingfor3

Again I had a similiar experience when we told the inlaws about the pregnancy a week or so ago. We explained about the consultant appts and that all was looking well at the moment but that I am taking things one week at a time. Her reply was 'well at least now you can relax and start enjoying your pregnancy. I loved being pregnant'. It was a great effort to be civil to her let alone not whack her around the head. I was so dismayed by her lack of understanding and for not realising that I would be unlikely to ever relax and that enjoyment is certainly not one thing I will ever associate with pregnancy. I have replayed that conversation over and over again - it gets me just as mad every time I think of it!

P2b, you are not acting spoilt. You are just (understandably) very worried.
Like you say, mention to Consultant and see if that makes a difference. failing that, I would strongly recommend the private scan. Like you say, 3 weeks you could manage; 5 is just way too long.
This kind of thing really makes me wonder about some people. Surely everyone could put them selves into a place where they could imagine what it is like to worry about something every minute of every day for weeks, even months? How your life almost gets put on hold and, like you said, you are wishing time away. I really hated that feeling as I wanted to be able to enjoy the pregnancy. I also found that my inability to really "accept" the pregnancy has made things harder for me now as I kept putting off doing the things I had to do until I felt more confident. So now I find myself at 33 weeks with a "nursery" with 2 large, heavy items of furniture that we need to get rid of and stripped walls covered in grafitti from a previous occupant (including a lovely picture of a couple sh**ging doggy-style!!! Not really suitable, me thinks!

Anyway, hope todays scan goes well and will keep fingers crossed that consultant is understanding. xxx

Oh, and welcome back Basil!! I remember you. You were here when I joined, but sadly had to leave Let's hope you are now here for a long, uneventful stay.

feedmenow lol about the picture on the wall! Something you really do need to get rid of!

p2b, we probably won't relax until we have our babies in our arms but that day is going to be a very special one.

ILTS - great news

P2b, I think that it's not unusual for the 20 week scan to end up being done around 22 weeks, but considering what happened last time, i'm really surprised they would leave you for 5 weeks at this stage in your pregnancy, when understandably you're going to be even more worried. Make a fuss, I think they should be thinking of the reassurance you need. Good luck

hello can i join? i have been putting off posting a message because i am so scared of jinxing anything but am driving self mad with random loopy paranoid thoughts - so thought i might as well have an outlet...

i had a mmc on 2 nov last year at 10 weeks (already have one dd). just had a BFP last friday and am scared sh*tless. today had one spot of bright pinky-red bleed and then some brown-pink spotting. just started feeling nauseous again today so not sure what is going on. at the moment the mental torture is worse than anything physical.

not due for a scan till next thurs (6 wks).

ps given the latest news on caffeine and miscarriages is it safe to eat chocolate??!

Bunny congratulations and welcome. This is the best outlet in the whole world. I'd say if you don't have any major bleeding with cramping all should be fine. Bleeding "is" quite common as I'm sure you've read numerous tales here on MN. As for missing out on chocolate....do what you feel is best but I refuse to deny myself that luxury. Sounds like we MC around the same time, mine was 09NOV. I'm 11+5 today. It's tough at first but as the days go by you'll settle down a bit and become more comfortable with your pregnancy. Promise

Hi Bunny, and welcome! Sorry to say that you have a long couple of months ahead of you, but rest assured that everyone here has been through/is going though it and will give you all the help and support possible. Take it one day at a time and say to yourself whenever you feel worried "Healthy and well, healthy and well...". Repeat as needed!

thank you. a bit teary now as bleedings heavier now and more red than brown. is it worth trying to get a scan at 5 weeks or should i wait. i have a dreadful feeling this coming to an end sooner than expected!!

twilight that's great your story gives me a faint glimmer of hope...

Bunny at 5 weeks they can see a little if they do a vag scan. Worry doesn't help so see if you can arrange it or go to A&E to be checked out. {{{hugs}}} No matter what YOU will be all right.

thank you twilight and feedmenow. called to try to get a scan and now waiting for someone to call me back. going to go find something to eat to distract myself now...

Hi

Well, my scan was fine - although babys head was measuring about 5 days bigger than expected - so that immediately set me off once more. The consultant did all the other measurements to put my mind at rest (which were spot on for 17 weeks) and then explained that our baby has an odd shape had because of where it is sitting in the uterus! he then did his bast to play done my elevated blood pressure (130/92) and traces of protein in my urine! He has also said I'm fine to go back again in two weeks because the 20 week scan is going to be 22 weeks (which he was surprised by).

I have suspected that I may have a urine infection. Could this explain the traces of protein? My sample has been sent away to be test so I guess i will get the result in a week or so?

Thanks again for listening and fingers crossed for you bunnyinheadlights.

Hi Bunny and sorry you are having to worry. I had a vag scan at 6 weeks in my first pg which unfortunately did not turn out well for me - but they will hopefully be able to what is there (and fingers crossed it will be okay...healthy a nd well, healthy and well).

Caffeine in chocolate is exempt from any sort of pregnancy type diets on this thread. All chocolate is allowed in vast quantities and works towards your five a day (esp if stuck on top of a hob nob).

P2b - def agree with the other girls. As an alternative if scan is not forthcoming, how about midwife/doppler appointment at 20 weeks if that would help put your mind at ease at least.......?

Where oh where is MrsMc??