Very early pregnancy and so much anxiety after miscarriage

[Sprinklerainbows]

I found out I was pregnant a couple of days ago.

i had a miscarriage about 4 years ago and have since had a successful pregnancy who is my gorgeous DS.

but now I’m pregnant again I have SO much anxiety, I’m terrified of miscarrying.

how do you reassure yourself to calm down? I feel like my head goes completely out of control!

Hey 👋🏼 can I join you ladies please?

I’m on my 3rd pregnancy in 4 months. Had some spotting and had an early scan yesterday at 6w when we saw a heartbeat and told everything is looking good and healthy, no idea why I spotted. I’ve been given a prescription for progesterone and I take aspirin and double folic acid, so all bases covered tbh. However, I am so, so, frightened. I read how people see a heartbeat but go on to lose the baby 2 weeks later. I read how ladies take progesterone and this masks the bleeding so they have a mmc. I’m on edge all the time. I’ve finally stopped testing after a stern telling off from a nurse, but I’m always on toilet tissue check and googling why have my symptoms disappeared. I don’t enjoy any of this and I really wanted to embrace this pregnancy. I already have a toddler. We’ve decided this is our last child as I simply cannot handle the anxiety anymore. I’m so worried I’ll lose this one :(

@xalexandra absolutely 🤣 might try and buggy board first and see how we go 😅

have you looked at prams?

oh lovely. Mines currently the 26th May… wonder if it will stay that way

@bubble55 so sorry you’re experiencing that! All I can suggest is to try to stop googling and to trust the process (SOOOO much easier said then done) but right now you just simply won’t know! Have you got another scan booked? I’ve had regular pink spotting- including today! My mind goes crazy but I repeat the same phrase to myself ‘this baby will be born health’ ‘I trust my body to look after this baby’ and ‘I trust the universe with this baby’ that’s helps me it may not help you. I’ve done prenatal yoga and really tried to connect with my body. Honestly it’s just a really horrendous time, after my private scan at 8 weeks (I turned out to be 9) I’ve felt unbelievably better since- so I really recommend booking one if you aren’t getting another on the nhs. Sending lots of love, I can’t really help as I’m a terrible worrier, I sent myself completely crazy from week 4-9 but slowly have relaxed a little x

@Sprinklerainbows if you track your periods etc then I doubt your due date will change much. I tracked all my periods etc so knew exactly when I come on and off! And yes I've started looking at prams, just because I think that'll be the most expensive thing to buy. Just want a nice easy 4 in 1 travel system!

@bubble55 welcome!! Sorry about your previous losses, its really hard to enjoy any pregnancy after losses as we all know. But MASSIVE Congrats on your pregnancy, that's really positive about the 6 week scan 🤞🏼 I found getting an 8 week scan was a brilliant idea as I heard something about passing the 8 week mark being a really positive sign and it's a belly scan then too and it's usually so clear ❤️ Again the same advice which I know I didn't follow which I wish I had is, get off Google! If I could change the fact I googled everything then I know my mind would of been more at peace 😂 my midwife keeps stressing it to me and said to literally only look at NHS website. I know it's easier said than done but it's really worth staying away from any negative information. This will be the one for you ✨ xx

@xalexandra i thought I knew but baby has been measuring a week behind the entire time 🤣
yeah we spent SO much on our pram, we got the icandy orange travel system, used it hardly at all because it was heavy and bulky, got a babyzen yoyo and it changed my life. Its the best pram I’ve ever used!

@Sprinklerainbows ooooh I just had a look! Looks so easy to manoeuvre about and put away! Does it have a car seat attachment? X

@xalexandra yeah honestly. AMAZING. the bassinet is lovely too so cosy.
yes! You can get adapters and most popular seats fit it xx

@Cassarat have you had your scan? If so hope it went well! (Or is it tomorrow?)

I’ve had a nightmare few days. I had a load of quite painful cramping. Then a huge gush of watery dark brown discharge but I mean LOADS. Called epu, they did a swab and seemed a bit concerned (I’ve had pink and brown spotting for over a month now most days) tried to book me in for a scan but was fully booked so have to wait until Thursday. I’m so stressed, I might book a private scan to save my sanity 😵

Hey! My scan was last week, everything was perfect and I’m just waiting for a letter for the results of the Downs/Edwards etc tests.

oh no! I can’t believe they’re fully booked for that long considering they’re concerned!! I’d book a private asap for sanity! Hope everything is okay xx

Oh thank goodness! As you’ve not heard I’d assume it’s all good!

yes idk what to do really, as it’s only 3 days away do I just wait or do I go for a private one tomorrow… can’t really decide. They said they could probably get me in on Wednesday but they said, by that point I may as well wait until the next day. So tricky 😩 xx

@Sprinklerainbows oh no! I did have this too a similar experience, surely they can tell/have some info from the swab? What did they say about that? Xx

@xalexandra i was so shocked by just how much there was because I’ve had constant brown/pink discharge but nothing like this!
coupled with the pain I was/am very worried for the scan.

she said I’ve got an cervical ectropion but doesn’t think that’s the root cause. She did a swab for BV but said there was no sign of infection other than the watery discharge. She said it probably is the collection of blood they saw in the uterus but just can’t be sure what the cause is without the scan xx

@Sprinklerainbows it's good that it's stopped now?! It's such a worry seeing it isn't it, I know exactly how you feel! Our bodies so many strange things and could be so many reasons for it. Thursday isn't long away!

@xalexandra I’ve done too much reading and now I’m convinced it’s a missed miscarriage! I’m having so much cramping and have done all week really. Im finding it very hard to stay positive rn xx

@Sprinklerainbows I'm almost sure they would of picked this up from the swab? Sending you positive thoughts, I was exactly the same when I had blood! But the fact it came and went is a good sign, could be sooo many reasons. And Google will obviously tell you that it's a miscarriage just because you've typed in the words blood and miscarriage. Hopefully they can fit you in Wednesday because it's just the waiting around that's hard!

I think it’s come and going every few days the last few weeks just then the big gush!
i think I’m going to call epu again in the morning as she said to go in if it gets any worse and the cramping most definitely has, it’s all round my back too so just gives me an awful feeling. We shall see what they say xx

@xalexandra ^

@Sprinklerainbows yeah it's better to do that I think! Otherwise you'll just sit there worrying the whole time at home and it'll be really stressful to just sit around! Hopefully they can give you an answer! Xx

@xalexandra well it was pointless. I called epu at 8am and still haven’t had a call back!
thankfully no more bleeding or cramping, my backs a bit achy but I actually think it’s more from playing with my 2 year old all day on the floor. I’m very much prepared for the worst tbh but have a little hope now. I doubt I’ll be getting a scan before Thursday now so just have to wait my fate 😓 xx

@Sprinklerainbows I never understand why they don't have urgency about it, it's like they aren't bothered about anyone before like 16 weeks 🤦🏼‍♀️ well it's only one day away I guess! It's good that it's stopped though, usually if it's something bad it would continue 🙏🏼

@xalexandra no they absolutely don’t care! The woman actually sighed down the phone when she picked up 😳

I read a few unfortunate stories similar to mine will a small amount of brown blood which didn’t have good outcomes and it really set off my anxiety… absolutely nothing I can do though, 13 weeks on Thursday too, feels very cruel to get to this point and have something go wrong.

i have a midwife friend who said she couldn’t say not to worry, some women have huge bleeds and everything is fine and some only a little and it ends badly, only a scan can truly tell but it was nice to offload to her 🤣 xx

@Sprinklerainbows oh that's nice you have a midwife to talk to!

I feel like stories are always negative and never positive. I constantly see on here about people asking if blood/brown discharge is normal, just shows how many people have spotting or bleed during pregnancy! I feel like at some point everyone does, whether it's just for a couple of days or through a few months but it's just a natural instinct to put blood colour discharge whilst being pregnant to a miscarriage, and especially people like us who have experienced a miscarriage. You've got this far though which is so positive and honestly the fact that it's stopped seems positive too - if a miscarriage was starting, I would assume from previous experience and what I've read that the blood would slowly start and continue! Just tomorrow to get through then hopefully some answers 🙏🏼 although I know sometimes they don't even have the answers which is annoying! But as long as they tell you everything is fine then that's what you'll need to hear and then it won't be long till another scan after that 💕

@xalexandra yes very lucky to have her!

i know it’s really easy to get sucked in by negativity too. I feel like I keep flicking between certain it’s bad, to hopeful it’s actually fine.

i feel like I can imagine all being well at the scan but I can’t let my brain imagine worst case rn. I totally love this baby already, as we all do from so early on! I know our family will be complete and just pray this is the baby we bring home. I said to my partner recently they I can’t do this again. And now the thought of possibly trying again… horrific

@Sprinklerainbows I completely get that! I feel exactly the same if this doesn't work out. Even at 18 weeks on Thursday, I feel like I'm still not safe, still constantly worrying at any little pain.

But know that your body can do this though because it's happened for you already and will happen again! Keep yourself busy tomorrow, what time is scan on Thursday? X

@xalexandra there’s just no safe point that’s the thing I suppose! I remember with my son I said until he’s in my arms I won’t relax.
When I was pregnant my sister in law had a still birth, it was the most horrific thing I’ve ever witnessed, right at the start of the first lockdown. But it taught me to never get too comfortable in pregnancy knowing one day you can wake up and that’s it ! My SIL woke up, didn’t feel any movements all morning, went in and there was so heartbeat, we never really found out why either.

yes just one more day to get through, and my partner has the day off, it’s my sons birthday on Tuesday next week, party at the weekend so buying decorations, food etc tomorrow. so that will keep me busy. Then the scan is at 2 on Thursday unfortunately! However I’ll try and keep busy in the morning the best I can 😩

I said the same to myself last night. I created a perfect human once and I will do it again. I have to just trust the universe xx