Due Feb/Mar after MC 🌈 🙈 Thread 2

[MooBugz]

New thread following the almost full last one! Sorry if I missed the tag for anyone 😬

@Ally256 @madeinthe80z @Lmcc88 @OceanbreezeSun @doingitalllagain @RedElleJ @STom2 @WonderWoop @LittleLottle @Skylark1990 @Rubes1234 @Hagster @JoKB @Gamergirl84 @Franklin321

Wow that's so interesting @STom2 is that a sociology PhD? Or film/TV? Or English? Trying to place it haha.

I'm in Buckinghamshire @gam@gam@gam@gam@gam

Lol Mumsnet skirted out on me sorry meant to tag @Gamergirl84

I'm feeling so big today and tired! DD didn't want to nap earlier but now she's yawning and it's danger nap time! DH is out tonight so really want her to have an early night so would rather she didn't nap now - but I could definitely do with one!

Aww @Skylark1990 how's your little one doing with the chickenpox? We seemed to be having similar unfortunate situations first with the covid now chickenpox! Hope your doing ok, it's a right graft this pregnancy malarkey isn't it, men haven't the faintest idea I had my hubby complaining about man flu last week I wasn't impressed haha X

Anyone else having really bad baby brain? I used bleach spray in the kitchen instead of my dettol one and spent ages wondering why it smelled like bleach only to come to the conclusion I just have used the wrong spray but I genuinely don't remember!

Roll on Mat leave.. need me some relaxing time my brain is clearly done for the year 😅

@Skylark1990 Thesis was in English so was a combination of media and literature.

@moobugz Absolute baby brain here. TBH I don't know if it ever returned o normal after having my DS to be honest!!!

Aaaah @MooBugz I wonder if we’re date twins too! My due date is around 13-15th feb. They are going to confirm today cause baby has been measuring a little ahead of my dates.

Ill be honest I’m finding it really hard to get excited and feel like it will hit me like a ton of bricks when there’s actually a baby here. My friend is pregnant and we are exactly the same dates and I just wish I could have that blind faith and excitement back from the first time around. It’s just hard isn’t it. I’ll get there hopefully. I think viability week will be a big breather for me. I get to one milestone though and then instantly set another. I won’t be fully reassured until there’s a healthy baby in my arms.

@MH202 I had the first listen to the heartbeat in a private scan at 17 weeks and they still haven’t been able to find baby’s heartbeat for me (22weeks) on Doppler due to my placenta being anterior. They just pick up my heartbeat. Don’t worry too much though they are happy enough with seeing movement and looking at baby’s heartbeat Rhythm on the scans.

@Skylark1990 oh no!! How’s the little one with chicken pox! Glad you have your immunity. Hopefully the asthma subsides for you and it’s just the stark change in weather. I’m not on antibiotics anymore. I had Intravenous in the hospital and then went sent home with another week. So they finished last week. 🤞🏼

Hahahah baby brain is very real this week for me. Words that I definitely know just won’t come out. It’s like an ongoing game of charades between me and my partner, him trying to figure out what I actually want to say! 😂

@MH202 I think it varies with each trust whether they will listen to the heartbeat at 16 weeks. With DS I'd a lot of phone appointments as he as a lockdown baby. So my first face to face with midwife was at 24 weeks. This time I saw her at 16 weeks so she said she would try for a little listen but forewarned it's so hard to pick up at that stage. She did get the heartbeat, but at another 19 week appointment she couldn't really get it properly on the dopplar. So it all depends on where baby is tucked in on the day also.

@Rubes1234 I know what you mean about the different milestones. I was same with DS. I absolutely have the 24 week viability one in my head. But I know shortly after that I'll start thinking about 3rd trimester milestone. Then the (I think) 35 week one (basically where they're fully grown so it's okay if they pop put a few weeks early 😅. Just take it one step at a time.

Hey @MooBugz thanks for checking in! Yes I remember you had the pox in your house too didn't you! DD is actually doing fine, she's just a bit itchy but doesn't have loads of spots and seems to be getting away with it relatively lightly 🤞

@STom2 ah that's great, I did English at uni too although not to PhD level!

@Rubes1234 the pox is ok, hoping she can go back to nursery next week 😅😅 we have been having a lot of tv time and I'm trying to work while watching her but it's not the easiest.

I've just spent quite a lot of cash on some maternity clothes! Quite excited to get them! H&m having a sale as is Seraphine!

@Skylark1990 Love the Seraphine stuff. I got a lot from there when pregnant with DS (birthday and Xmas gifts). Currently sat wearing their lounge pants. Been living in their bamboo leggings (highly recommend). So comfortable and come right up to under my boobs 😄. I've a grey pair and DH refers to them as my Mr.Toad pants 😆

Hey guys!

sorry Ive been MIA I’ve been away on holiday and then busy clearing out some space for baby boy!

Thunk I’ve caught up on posts! Glad to hear so many positive things and there seems to be quite a few baby boys in the group!

@MH202 im in Scotland too I’m almost 23 weeks and haven’t heard heartbeat yet. I do have a midwife appointment on Wednesday though so if I get to hear HB then I’ll let you know

@Skylark1990 so lovely to see your most recent pic! Hope you’re doing well.

Hope everyone is doing ok!

Hey guys. Thanks @Lmcc88 ! Oooh. Nesting already, that's so fun 💙

I'm having a bit of a freak out and I think it's mostly caused my the anxiety that is ever present or in the background of this pregnancy due to the losses, ultimately. But keen for some thoughts from you all!

Got my screening results back for the combined test. I'm happy with the Edwards and patau results as super low at 1 in 100,000 but I'm worrying about the downs risk as it is 1 in 2009.

With my DD it was v similar: 1 in 2043. I got that result, and was completely reassured and thought nothing of it. But now I am worrying constantly about being the 1 in 2009!

I know it's low risk. I know I should be relieved and I am, ofc, that the risk is not higher. But I also know that the variations are huge and some people get like 1 in 60,000 and I'm just confused as to why mine is 1 in 2009...

My bloods were all pretty normal, bHCG was a bit high which maybe increased the risk? But actually it was lower than with my DD. And it was still normal range (2.21). The nuchal measurement was 2mm.

Am I just being over anxious?? My DH is reassured and doesn't want to do harmony but for some reason I can't let go of this worry 😔😵‍💫

Oh and I'm 34.

How far along are you Skylark? I'm struggling to keep up with everyone's due dates (perhaps we should put them at the top of the next thread for this reason!)

I'm guessing if you've just got the results you're around 13/14 weeks? Honestly, it's down to how you feel - you have a lot of pregnancy left and if you are going to spend it worried, stressed, fearing the worst etc then the harmony has worth every penny and more. When I had my son I was 23 and my Downs Risk came back as 1 in 2800 and it really scared me, with my age I thought it would be a much bigger number. My midwife insisted it was fine, low risk etc but after 3 weeks of spiralling I had the NIPT privately. Everything was fine, my higher risk was affected by low PAPP-A, if you have this, it's something I've had in both subsequent pregnancies too so I've panicked less when getting low-but-higher-than-I'd-like results since. I did tell my husband I'd probably get the NIPT this time after my loss last time but I didn't end up feeling like I needed to, if I had or was worried at all I definitely would of.

Thank you @doingitalllagain 💗 that makes sense and can totally relate. I think I'm worried about the 0.3% false positive rate of the nipt as can't imagine going through amniocentesis stress 😩

So I had slightly elevated bHCG with both DD and this pregnancy which imo is what is putting the low risk but higher than I'd like result. With DD it was 2.97 or something and with this one it is 2.21. so similar to you, perhaps it's just that my body does this... DD is totally healthy!

Do you remember what your result was this time? Or the pappa results? I think my pappa for this pregnancy was 1.70 and in DDs it was 1.09 or something.

I do get horrible pregnancy sickness so makes sense the HCG would be a bit higher!

I'm 15 weeks x

I'm getting confused - sorry I got that totally wrong! I just went to look at the ranges and actually the risks were a lot higher than I remembered - this was them for my son who is now 3 (and is/was/always has been perfect healthy) So maybe that's why I got the NIPT. Crazy how much you forget in 3 years! Sorry!

Last time was the 1 in 2800 so I didn't get the NIPT but unfortunately miscarried anyway.

And this is this time - if it's helpful at all.

@Skylark1990 mine was 1 in 1669. So higher risk than what you were given but still considered low. I'll be 38 when this LO arrives.

Thank you @doingitalllagain - that's all very detailed! Interesting it's a much lower risk this time, I guess the NT has a big affect on it.

@STom2 thank you for sharing, did you decide not to get NIPT and did you feel reassured? I think for me I am only worried this time because I know some people get much lower risk but I know that's stupid as ofc it's all a spectrum and loads of things come into it.

@Skylark1990 I decided not to get NIPT as my stats before the test (based on age etc) was 1 in 198. So this increasing to 1669 was enough of a reassurance for me. My other tests were 1 in 20,000 which was similar with DS. I've had anomaly scan and all was well there too. Perhaps I'm a little blasé about it as I'm Irish and in Ireland they don't do those tests for Down Syndrome etc as standard at all.

@Skylark1990 I don't know about the numbers but when I was pregnant with my second son my test came back high risk and they offered me the further testing which I declined at the time. For two reason, first being I didn't want to risk the miscarriage risk albeit low and secondly, after having a disabled son from first pregnancy I was ok with worst case scenario and wouldn't have terminated had it come back positive.

I spent a lot of the remainder of that pregnancy worried and during the birth my first question wasn't the sec but it was "does baby have Downes" and he didn't.

I think you should consider what an additional test will mean or do for you, for example if it comes back with more certainty would it change anything? And also it is very low but I've had low and high and both times it turned out ok at the birth. It's a delicate subject I understand but helps to think about what it all means, hope that helps ♥️

Thank you @STom2 . I dont know why I'm feeling so anxious about it! DH doesn't want to do nipt as thinks I'll just find something else to be anxious about, in the nicest way possible, and I mean he's probably right I do need to work on my predisposition to worry. and it's v expensive, but we could afford it, so it's really hard to not do it because it's there and more certainty is basically at my finger tips. I struggle with uncertainty at the best of times and for some reason this has got to me badly even though 1 in 2000 is low risk.

@MooBugz thank you for sharing your experience, gosh can fully understand the worry you must have gone through with the higher risk pregnancy. It's great your baby was fine. I know, it's a delicate subject and everyone would deal with it differently. If I'm honest the thought of having a disabled child scares me. But I also am not sure what I'd do if a test said yes, the baby has downs. I wouldn't want to do amniocentesis or CVS due to the miscarriage risk but I think what I'm struggling with is I could do NIPT which is non invasive, no risks but equally, v expensive and probably unnecessary given the risk numbers they gave me 🤦‍♀️ I'm really feeling quite bad, I'm an anxious ball and can't stop worrying.

@Skylark1990 You're perfectly entitled to feel anxious and it's 100% understandable! You had 2 losses this year. It doesn't set you up for the most relaxed pregnancy, even when everything is healthy and well. We all now what that feels like and even when given no cause for concern, it is natural for us to make ourselves anxious overthinking things every step of the way. I was absolutely like this when pregnant with DS. I somehow talked myself out of a NIPT that time around (even with same odds as this time), as I think the sonographers words gave me the reassurance I needed. I was a ball of nerves anyway at the 12 week scan. But regarding the risk results she said "I'll put it this way. You had a certain level of risk walking in the door, as a 35 year old. These numbers have given you the same risk level as an 18 year old." That was good enough for me 😄.

Do whatever you feel you need to to get reassurance. As I say I talked myself out of NIPT both times but with DS I did go and buy a home doppler in a panic and used it once at 19 weeks. Never used it again. But it was right for me at that time in a point of heightened anxiety and did give me the reassurance I needed at that time.

@Skylark1990 I really feel for you, it's such an anxious time. I won't lie I did say to my husband that the NIPT would be it and I'd stop worrying and enjoy - and like your husband has said, I didn't and I found something else to worry about. I spent the first 12 weeks convinced I was going to miscarry, the middle few weeks when my higher results palaver was going on convinced the baby had a genetic condition and then the second half of my pregnancy I was convinced I'd have a stillbirth. I never really imagined coming home with a live, healthy baby - but I did! It was my first pregnancy and I had no reason to feel that way, so don't beat yourself up feeling anxious after what you've been through. My miscarriage happened late, and totally threw me last time as it was different to my very anxious first pregnancy in that I knew I'd done it before and everything was fine and I allowed myself to trust my body and that it knew what it was doing. That obviously didn't turn out well! I thought I'd be a complete mess this time, and I definitely have moments, but I'm worlds calmer than I thought possible. It's such a personal thing. You do what you need to do.

I'm run bloody ragged here, my 3yo has glandular fever and has been unwell for quite a few days now. I've always been blessed with his sleep (7.30pm-7.30am for over 2 years now!) and these past few days he's been waking up every couple of hours all night long. Managing to settle him back in his bed a good 2 or 3 times but he's ending up in our bed for the night then because we're so exhausted and can't be bothered to sit in his room for another hour. It's horrible seeing them poorly, and the fear that this is goodbye to his good sleeping habits months before our new arrival is putting me into a cold sweat