Due April/May after MC 🌈

[BellaBella38]

Hi everyone, I know this is might be a bit early to start a thread but after more than 2 1/2 years of trying the overwhelming excitement is real!

Me and my husband lost out first at 10 weeks back in December 2020 and to be honest had kind of given up. I only peed on a stick at 16DPO because a banana repulsed me to the point of spitting it out! Trying not to be too excited or paranoid, but we'll see how that goes. 🤣

I've ordered the Pregnancy after Loss book by Zoe Coates Clark in an attempt to keep my sanity, but the going to the loo fear of seeing blood is real. And I've booked an apt to talk to my GP on Thursday at 5+3 to talk about whether or not progesterone would be appropriate.

Thankfully my husband is level headed and reminds me not to get too ahead of myself yet, but it would be great to meet others in the same boat for a hand hold.

@Essexgalhere exactly, I felt relieved for about 30 minutes! Better than nothing I suppose! I'm 6+1 today so still very early to see anything really, I hadn't even expected that I would definitely see a heartbeat so that was nice. How are you doing today?

@calipoppy I did book a scan for this Saturday but ive moved it to next Saturday where I’ll be 6 W 1 day (I think)
Doing better today, still a mess of anxiety but getting by. I have no children currently and been finding it hard 2 of my best friends are due around my due date so it’s hard when they talk about their excitement of their wiggly babies in their scans etc especially when I’m worried that I’ll lose again

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been around much, week 7 is kicking my arse!

5+5 today and had some bright red bleeding. Booked for a scan Monday. Feeling very pessimistic though. Think I'm probably heading for another MC.

@Melusina123 Hopefully the scan can help confirm what is going on. It is really scary and anxiety-ridden particularly around or before week 5-6. I know there are plenty of pregnancies that have progressed after spotting or bleeding. I hope the scan on Monday gives you good news and the bleeding stops.

@BellaBella38 I have been totally exhausted too then started with a cold mid-week, but now I've had a positive covid test today and both my daughters were off school all week.

I'm not really sure what the isolation rules are now? I was in school teaching all last week and felt pretty terrible on Thursday, but battled through it. The LFTs were negative Wed-Thur. I've just been sleeping and resting any time I haven't been out of the house working and thought it was pregnancy tired and then just a cold. Not sure whether I am meant to or just ought to take a few days off into the start of next week to rest properly.

Other than that my progesterone dropped a bit at about 6-7 weeks when I retested it from the day after my scan. I read this can happen with the shift over to the placenta and the midwife sonographer said if there is no spotting or bleeding, they go by the scans, so my next scan is on the 21st, but my booking appointment is next Friday 16th.

The only positive thing is we are going to visit my Dad over the September weekend, so at least we have got covid out of the way (again) before then. The only person who hasn't seemed to catch it from us is my husband, but then he has been looking after everyone else!

Hi all

I’m 5+1 today I’m afraid that I’ve taken pee testing to a whole new level of craziness.

Have done FRERs which got darker over the week but after the line became darker than the control line I used a 25mlu cheapy test with diluted urine to try to work out how much hcg is in my urune.

peed in a cup then got my baking spoons out. Measured a spoon of urine then diluted with 5 spoons of water, mixed and tested. Got a positive. Repeated with 10 spoons of water in total and got a positive. Then with 15 spoons of water and still got a positive.

Had a chemical two cycles ago so feeling like this is reassuring as must have at least 400mlu of hcg. Which means blood hcg should be 800 plus.

I know this isn’t perfectly scientific but has given a good indication that levels are high.

Hello, cautiously looking to join. I am around 4 weeks pregnant and therefore EDD would be around May 2023.

Our history is:
2.5 years TTC baby 1
female infertility - annovulation + huge long cycles
One loss at 11 weeks (looked great at 10 week scan) in late 2020.
Finally got started with NHS fertility clinic treatment, but couldn't get the doses right so it wasn't yet doing anything, then an unexpected positive test after taking norethisterone!

Incredibly anxious. Just trying to make it to 8 weeks so I can get a scan to see if there's any hope.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl Welcome, totally understand the stress you're under and here for a hand hold any time. Have you read Pregnancy after Loss by Zoe Coates Clark? She posts on instagram too. I've found her really helpful.

@Singingloudforalltohear I did proper chuckle at your new pee on a stick regime! It does sound a bit intense, but what ever works to get you through to the next day.

@Melusina123 How are you doing today? Just hang in there, we've got everything crossed for your scan tomorrow ❤️🤞

Thank you for the welcome @BellaBella38 - I have ordered that book as it looks great. What stage are you at on this anxious journey?

@Singingloudforalltohear there's a very fine line between genius and madness and I think it's genius 😁

Welcome @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl keeping everything crossed for you!

@Singingloudforalltohear this really made me laugh! I've run out of tests or I think I'd have been inspired to start experimenting myself 😂

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl I really have found the book a great insight and also like a comfort at times. I've deliberately not written in mine so that I can pass it on to the charity shop with a message inside for the next person. I'm 8 weeks tomorrow. This time last pregnancy I was totally losing my shit bipolar wise, so I'm pleased at how calm I'm keeping at the moment. Booking apt on Tuesday, then 2 more weeks until the mc milestone. Just hanging in there somehow. Honestly not looking forward to booking apt, if I lose the baby after getting my midwifery notes I think it'll feel worse somehow.

Also has anyone heard from @Zincoop lately?

@BellaBella38 glad you are feeling calm for now ❤️
I know what you mean about the booking appointment, everything that makes it feel more 'real' gives such mixed feelings doesnt it!
My husband was asking me earlier how I'm feeling and I said I really think my mind has just gone into denial to protect itself. I know it's true that I am pregnant but I don't feel like it is true, if that makes sense.

@calipoppy It makes total sense. I've spent the week throwing up at 3am and hardly able to lift my head for the spins. And yet I'm still not really convinced everything is ok. Last time I had a very obvious miscarriage, so this time I'm thinking that maybe it's a missed miscarriage because I still have symptoms. I really hope everything's ok at my scan, but to think that I might actually be having a baby won't feel real for a long time I think.

@BellaBella38 thank you. ♥️ It means a lot to be thought of in times like this. Had red bleeding yesterday, probably about two tablespoons? But since then it's gone brown and very, very light. No clots, and I felt more nauseous today than yesterday and more yday than the day before. So I don't know what to think - it's such a rollercoaster! Still staying pessimistic given my history.

Every day just brings something new to worry about, doesn't it? And if it brings nothing to worry about then we get to worry about whether that means anything or if it's a MMC.

Hi all. Sorry I've not posted an update. I had an appointment with epads on Thursday but I didn't make it that far. I got out of my car on Wednesday and very suddenly had a huge bleed. I've miscarried again, the past few days have been a blur to be honest. Xxx

@BellaBella38 I hear you. My brain keeps jumping between oh god, cramps and brown spotting that's bad, to oh I feel really tired and test lines are strong that's good, to oh last time my symptoms and tests were strong and it still wasn't good.

@Zincoop I am so so sorry. This 'journey' (hate that word) is so shit.

@Zincoop so sorry to hear that. Please take care of yourself and know that there are lots of us here who understand/will support you.

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl Welcome!
It feels a really long wait but try to keep busy. Easier said than done, I know. I think the line is a very fine one indeed. I'm feeling a lot calmer knowing a bit more about what's going on. The anxiety is hard going, isn't it?

@BellaBella38 I know I must sound totally mad and neurotic. I just like evidence and data to draw inferences. I feel so much better having done this test as I know it's very unlikely to be a chemical now. Sounds like you've been through the mill somewhat.

@calipoppy it's made me feel more relaxed but in some ways but whilst I'm a bit calmer I'm still in denial just like you say.

I know it's not perfectly scientific but indicates that hcg levels are somewhere around normal for this stage.

5+3 today. My MMC was around this time so this is a big week for me. Scan on Saturday at 6+1.

@Singingloudforalltohear the timing is definitely part of the issue for me - our prev loss was 11 weeks fetal death, 12 weeks discovered so it's a long time to wait even to pass that point.

Was brave and booked in with NHS today which feels like a jinx even though I know has no impact haha

@Zincoop I’m so sorry for your loss 💔

@BellaBella38 @calipoppy I am also in denial that this pregnancy is real too. The midwife called me the other day and gave me my first appointment date and told me to have my bloods done by then. I’m not booking in my bloods until the week before because I’m worried I’ll miscarry again by then

I did have a 5 week scan to check all OK and I have a sac and yolk sac - she said I was measuring a bit behind my dates which would mean I got a positive test at 5dpo so obviously have a bit of anxiety about that

@IWillBeWaxingAnOwl that's a horrible time for it to happen, not that there's a good time but you must have been feeling optimistic by that point.

@Essexgalhere that's such an early stage, it's so hard for them to be accurate but I'd probably worry too if a scan put me slightly behind.

@Essexgalhere the measurements error is huge at that stage so please don't worry too much

@Singingloudforalltohear yeah, we had a 10 week scan that was totally perfect and I knew the stats for loss after a good scan at that stage were so minimal so we did feel really confident! I think this time round I won't tell many people until after 20 if we last till then

Thank you for reassuring ☺️ I am glad I saw a gestation and yolk sac so I was happy with my scan overall

@Zincoop I am so sorry to hear that. Just concentrate on looking after yourself, we're here if you need us but totally if I if you need to go dark x 💔