Due February 2023 ❤️💙💛💖 Thread 2!

[Peonies94]

A thread for when our old one fills up!

@Aus84 That sounds somewhat reassuring!

We're desperate to know what we're having but have another couple of months before we find out.

Best of luck, and I hope you get your results back soon and are thrilled with your baby's sex :)

Hello 👋.... Decided to join currently 10 weeks one day.. Just got my scan date.. 9th Aug.. Anyone else have scan around then. Absolutely nervous.
I have noticed that once a week i feel really sick (vomit every time i eat) then rest days more nausea.. No cravings yet! Hope everyone is ok 😊

Hope everyone is doing well. Lovely scan photos, I have no idea about nub theory! My 1st scan is on Monday, I've had the appt booked quite a while I got the letter a couple of days after my booking appt on 1st July. I have a UTI right now, which was picked up on the urine sample handed in on the 1st so I was worried since I'd had it quite a while. I have a pre-exisiting bladder condition which causes symptoms similar to UTI so often don't realise if I have them, but have had worse symptoms recently. I've just started Amoxicillin, midwives didn't seem concerned about the wait as long as I take the abx. I may post a photo on social media just to announce to the wider people (I only have people on fb I really know) but no rush, DP hasn't told his mums side of the family yet and isn't planning on doing until he next sees them in person which doesn't happen very often!

Got my scan on Thursday 28th. Still not wanting to get too excited. The last few days I've had proper dull backache and cramps, think things are starting to move around now ready for baby!

The nausea is still there and the fatigue. Oh my god the fatigue. I swear I wasn't this tired last time around 😂

Getting ready to head to my in laws for the day. We plan on telling husbands sisters about our pregnancy. Strangely nervous. 1 we expect to be very happy/excited. The other not so. Its a bit complicated as 1 sister had serious fertility issues, but got her miracle baby who is now in school. We know she always wanted more than 1, but cant/won't go through it again. She seemed off when we announced our first pregnancy as we never had any of the struggles she did. Making us a bit nervous and worried. We don't want her upset, but equally can't just claim that we found a baby in a few months time, and I don't want to sound cruel, but her problems are not ours and we have been able to have this second pregnancy. Anyone been through anything similar? How did it go?

@BeeYellowMumma we went through this with my SIL.
At the end of the day, as understandable as you feel you need to be. You can't surprise your happiness, if people aren't elated about your news, that's a "them problem" not yours!

My SIL made a point of storming out when we announced DD1.

It took us 8 years to get pregnant and this is our 1st, yes I'd be inwardly gutted when I saw lots of pregnancy announcements but I'd never storm out or show that I was upset. Maybe a bit different but no one knew about our struggles so didn't handle us any differently to anyone else when announcing. I did tell one friend very shortly before I actually got pregnant as turns out she was going through the same, so I spoke to her separately in private when I found out I was pregnant and she took it really well and is already knitting me something for the baby and taking a nice interest in the pregnancy etc. I felt it easier to tell her since I knew how I felt when everyone around me was seemingly pregnant at the drop of a hat, but also you never know maybe people have kept it to themselves like me. Best of luck with the announcement x

Announced it, she left the room and has been crying. I knew it would be somewhat bitter sweet for her. My husband had a little chat with her.

We actually tried for our first earlier than we thought we would after seeing her struggles and not knowing if we may have our own, turned out we didn't, but we have always been very sensitive and supportive around it all.

Didn't help the first thing her child said was I want to be a big sister/brother too

@BeeYellowMumma and @RBSK1 you do come across quite rude. I think many of us have struggled some obviously more than others to conceive.
I used to be absolutely heartbroken every time someone would announce another pregnancy and say ‘it’ll be you next’ etc.
I think everyone should be considerate of this when giving the news. It may be exciting to you and only you and great to share but being sensitive is a kind thing to do. making out that it’s their problem is quite cold. They did not put themselves in this position.
when I know someone is struggling I’ve told them privately and even when I don’t know I hope I’m kind and make sure it’s a time people have space to process.

@PeanutButterFalcon I think telling people you know are struggling "it'll be you next time" is an awful thing to say. But you can't expect family members to not be told of pregnancy announcements in fear of upsetting them. Surely it's more upsetting if you find out via a third party rather than direct?
Yes, the initial heartache is there, we had the same thing when we were trying, but I'd have felt awful if people just hadn't told me

It's actually been far from exciting for me being pregnant, and we have been very considerate in telling her. I think you've massively jumped the gun here. I'm not putting full life stories on here to explain our families circumstances, but we were nervous as we knew she would be upset, and she was. She was consoled and we know it will take time. I'm not ignorant to others struggles, but ultimately I can't change the fact I am pregnant and we can't hide from that. At no point am I saying her struggles aren't real or justified, they are, and it's heart breaking for anyone in that circumstance.

This space is meant for support, we are on different journeys and I raised something that is very valid in my own journey.

I have to say I understand what @PeanutButterFalcon is saying, and I am also considerate of your point of view @RBSK1 and @BeeYellowMumma.

My DH and I took 17 months to fall pregnant, which isn't the longest time compared to others but it was horrific and the worst my mental health has ever been. By no means should you 'hide' your pregnancy but if you know someone has had/is having fertility issues, I'd always recommend sending them a message to tell them so they can come to terms in their own time. I had friends do this and I really appreciated it. It let's you get your emotions out in private, and then congratulate them once you're over that initial gut wrenching feeling. I'm sure your SIL really didn't want to cry in front of you all, and is probably gutted she did, and I think the heartache and worry on your side and hers could have been a bit better if you'd sent a message before so she had time to deal with her emotions in person.

We had planned this way for 2 weeks with my in laws. She never cried in front of us, she was happy and when "appropriate" popped aside for a moment. It just so happened my husband noticed and went to her. She is happy for us, but what actually made her cry was her own child saying I want to be a big brother/sister. That is the heartbreak, because she wont/can't go through what she did again, that is fine. It's actually taken me nearly 4 years to feel somewhat able to do this again as I died first time round, so this has been single handedly the hardest decision of my life. So I've also had tears when my daughter asked for a sibling, or I see friends announcing pregnancy. So you don't know my circumstances or reasoning or me in real life, but I came here asking if someone had felt nervous telling people who had fertility struggles, someone answered and I was grateful.

We are close nit family and done what myself, husband and inlaws felt the best choice, we were led by them.

I appreciate you may have wanted it done in that way, and was something we discussed but this was what was decided to coincide with a rare moment all of were together.

@BeeYellowMumma and @RBSK1 i can understand what you’re saying and how exciting the news is to you, however your comments of it’s her problem not ours and again it’s a her problem not a you problem is not very compassionate.

Just read your update @BeeYellowMumma and again as I said I understand.

You asked for opinions and gave you mine which was that I did it privately and your post sounded cold (whether it was meant that way or not it’s how I perceived it).

i have appreciated being told in private and unfortunately both times close family have just had a miscarriage so again I tell them privately and we cry about her loss together.

My pregnancy isn't exciting. You literally have no idea and are hung up over one phrase. As I've said, you don't know me, all you see is a bunch of words typed on a screen and you've made a wrong interpretation. You've chosen to fixate on one aspect. Might be a clumsy set of words but you have no idea of my own struggles. I have a psychologist coming to my house this week as I am utterly a wreck in this pregnancy. You've no idea how hard this journey is and will be for me, irrespective of the time frames to fall pregnant.

I thought this was a supportive page to chat openly and confidentially about what is ongoing with our pregnancies and key moments both good and bad. I came here for support when I'm fragile and was scared to upset a family member, and you know what asking for support had actually been worse than my sister in laws reaction and feelings today.

My pregnancy isn't exciting. You literally have no idea and are hung up over one phrase. As I've said, you don't know me, all you see is a bunch of words typed on a screen and you've made a wrong interpretation. You've chosen to fixate on one aspect. Might be a clumsy set of words but you have no idea of my own struggles. I have a psychologist coming to my house this week as I am utterly a wreck in this pregnancy. You've no idea how hard this journey is and will be for me, irrespective of the time frames to fall pregnant.

I thought this was a supportive page to chat openly and confidentially about what is ongoing with our pregnancies and key moments both good and bad. I came here for support when I'm fragile and was scared to upset a family member, and you know what asking for support had actually been worse than my sister in laws reaction and feelings today.

@BeeYellowMumma I am sorry to hear you're having a tough time. As @PeanutButterFalcon said, you asked for advice and of course none of us know the complexities around your own journey. If you ask for advice, you will get two sides, and I gathered from what you was asking, advice from people who have had a bad time TTC would have been welcomed.

Perhaps not the best use of words on your part, but just understand we're trying to help you see the other side of the story. It sounds like your TTC was pretty straight forward (but sorry about the horrific birth part, that's terrible) so I think we were just trying to help you understand how your SIL might be feeling as people who have been through it.

I hope your pregnancy becomes easier and I hope your SIL comes around soon.

Just reading through these comments and I absolutely can see both sides! I struggled ttc and I use to really struggle with announcements, but I would have struggled much more if it was a best friend/close family member! I totally understand what @PeanutButterFalcon is saying! It use to really crush me, and I found being told via text/ social media waw easier as you had time to digest the news!

In saying that that doesn’t mean that it has to take a persons exciting moment of announcing! I’m aware how people may feel during my announcement/pregnancy, but I also can’t hide the fact, and shouldn’t have to, although I appreciate I’ll do it in a more sensitive way, I have a right to be happy and excited about my news after the difficult journey I have had! I hope your feeling okay @BeeYellowMumma! I hope your sister in law has had time to calm down too and is feeling a lot better! I can’t imagine how she was feeling, but also imagine it was an uncomfortable and difficult time for you, as much as your pleased, it’s hard around people who you’ve known have had a difficult time, I’m sure she’s feeling embarrassed and hopefully in time with come around to the idea!

i really do understand what everyone is saying and quite a good friend of mine got pregnant when I was going though fertility issues and I was so excited for them, but longed so hard for it to be me! I struggled with wanting to attend their baby focused events, but made sure I Was there for them when they needed me, as I also knew their journey wasn’t easy either!

let’s keep this thread supportive of one another and look after each other! We are all in the same position and need support, especially in the beginning when for lots of us, our news isn’t out yet!

I’ll be telling my sister/brother in law tomorrow, as well as grandparents and other close family members! I’m so excited to finally be able to share the news after a good scan! !❤️

What is nub theory?! Time for a quick Google… are you going to find out at 20 weeks? 🔮

@YoureAMeanOneMrGrinch clearly have no idea how this works as I thought I’d tagged you in this….

@YoureAMeanOneMrGrinch ok, so I can see you’ve deffo got a nub in that last picture! 😂 Don’t think my angle is right to get the same view? Have you broken out the protractor yet?

I had my first scan today, measured at 12w+5 so a few days ahead where I thought. I have no idea if my picture shows a nub haha. Amazing to see baby moving around and stretching out, although wasn't moving in the right way to get the measurements I had to do laps of the hospital, star jumps etc and still wasn't having it! But got there in the end!

Hi all. I’m 11 weeks tomorrow with a very longed for third baby but oh my goodness I am crawling through this early pregnancy. The nausea and fatigue is so overwhelming and I’m finding it really hard to juggle my demanding full time job, plus all the responsibilities of a 6 and 4 year old. I’m fit for barely anything and feel I’m letting everyone down. Incredible husband is doing everything and carrying the load. I know it’ll be okay in a few weeks but just feeling low and finding it so hard to get through 😪 Anyone out there struggling too? I feel awful even saying it as I am so blessed and grateful for this baby after a miscarriage last year.

@YoungK I feel you! Although I don't think I'm struggling as much as you. Has your midwife prescribed any nausea medication? I got some yesterday so going to give it a go. I'm just over 9 weeks and have struggled for the past week to eat anything past 2pm - dinner time is the worst!! I can just about manage at home but I'm travelling for 27 hours on Friday to head back to the UK for a visit and the thought of being nauseas the whole time was too much to bear so I got the medication. Hope you're feeling better soon - some people immediately feel fine at the 12 week mark so you might only have a week of this left!