Due November 2022 Thread 3

[NotAdultingToday]

Hi everyone! I looked but couldn't see a thread, if there is one ill ask to get this one deleted. I hope everyone is ok!

Re: baby names we both downloaded an app called "Kinder". It's like tinder so you swipe on names you like and don't and it tells you when you've both got a match. There's Pokémon and LOTR packages and he paid for the all so I had to traipse through "magikarp" and all sorts 🙄 then my 2.5 year old picked a name and told everyone she could except us so we are just going with that now 😂

I'm calling my bag a birth bag, I'm planning on not going to hospital so it's just things to have on hand for during and immediately after birth and emergency transfer only. Mainly just packed snickers bars, lucozade, flannels and a little jug for that first wee so far. 35 weeks and not prepared at all, I'm basically putting everything off till the trust deliver my pool.

I don't have faith in them trying to withhold it if they suddenly find anything on next week's scan which won't change my plan, just the expense of the hire if I go private/need for certain add ins.

Feeding baby I remember waking every 3 hours for a few weeks and never getting told when to stop so we did it for about 6 weeks till I asked the HV 🙈

Key points aside from the wakings:

• breastfeeding HURTS the first 10-20 seconds of latching for the first few weeks. Any longer pain and the latch is wrong. It makes night feeding difficult as pain and tiredness and feeling alone whilst your partner snores sucks but it gets easier and stops that toe curling feeling.
• high calorie protein snacks by the bed!
• get a nice firm feeding pillow to help hold baby whilst they're a bit floppy to save your wrists
• nappy changes after plus maybe a boob to settle and sleep on if they wake from the change
• assume they'll pee when you open the nappy and fold it back down quickly and briefly after exposing them to cold air, boys AND girls
• use warm water and thick make up cotton pads for changes, wool is rubbish, just shreds and goes everywhere especially those first gross poops, use a thermos for the warm water overnight so you aren't waiting for the boiler 3 times a night to run a warm tap. Warm water makes them less likely to startle awake!
• phone in night mode and hide your debit card, night feed shopping is expensive 😂

I might think of more things eventually. Sleep when you can, check lullaby trust for safe co sleeping advice, we napped together on the big bed.

Oh the only thing I've sorted is the changing mat and changing "bits" for downstairs that we slide under the sofa for day changes. Life saver.

Thank you @Feb85 hope you're ok too. I've just had to take paracetamol for the headache, and I never take paracetamol so I must be rough. On the upside, I have a week off work because of it, so lots of rest for me.
I might slowly start getting bits together for my hospital bag whilst I'm off.

I've started packing a birthing bag too, like @Kaykiscout I'd like to stay home and deliver if my baby isn't breech and all is well. But I already have a box full of things for that IF it works out. Otherwise I've started packing a hospital/transfer bag today. Went and got a nightie from Poundland to deliver and discard after. Need to now just sit and pack the bag.

Re names we've got a list but will wait to see baby and decide on one for either boy or girl. With our first we had it chosen from the get go and it didn't seem like it suited him till he grew a bit. Weird I know but this time we're going to wait and see the baby first.

Sorry to hear about your rubbish care @Otterses, I'm meant to be consultant led but had one call (which the letter failed to say was a call, so I went in and the consultant rang as I was in the waiting room). I ended up having that face to face but he never bothered following up or having any other of the appointments we were meant to. I've kind of given up on the nhs as sad as that is. I'm going to ask my midwife to chase up the consultant again as I'm meant to be undergoing surgery in a few weeks and still not a word from them. I bet they've forgotten me.

Ahh no, I hope you get better soon @TFMinx and @Feb85

@kaykiscout that name app is brilliant! I wouldn't say we're any further forward in choosing a name but I enjoyed it at least!

Hope everyone who's recently tested positive for Covid starts to feel better soon. It definitely took me at least a week to start to feel anywhere near human, I hope you can rest as much as possible and recover

@otterses I meant to say as well I'm consultant led, probably the opposite end of the spectrum to you though and have been seen fortnightly face to face since 24 weeks, which I've appreciated. Only negative is that they never run to time and I'm often waiting for four hours for a 15 minute appointment - luckily my work are understanding but I'm sure that's not the case for everyone. I've also not seen the same consultant more than once, which makes it difficult to trust so many different opinions.

I'd say it's definitely worth sharing your thoughts with the Trust you're under - it really worries me how stretched the NHS seems to be at the moment

Oh no, sorry to hear people have been struck down with Covid. Hope you all feel better soon.

I'm consultant led but I have only met with her once to discuss a birth plan (get a c-section signed off) then got passed back over to community midwife. I’ll be on the consultant led delivery suite. I think it changes depending on your Trust, but you should deffo speak to someone if you are not happy with your care.

Ive been having a lot of ‘niggles’ today, different to usual. So much so that I feel like I need to get my hospital bags ready tomorrow!

@Anna783426 yeah we had to go through it after and narrow it down, use surnames and potential middle names to check flow, and then check for any reason it could be awks like accidentally naming them after a famous building or worse (friend with the surname Hall found it difficult 😂)

Does anyone else feel like they're in an episode of bloody 16 & pregnant? I'm getting so fed up of the constant onslaught of other people telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing at all stages of pregnancy and then when baby is born. I'm close to 40 years old and yes it's my first baby, but they are not an alien species to me, you don't need to treat me like a fucking idiot. I don't even think it's people trying to be helpful, I think people just love talking about their own experience and in all honestly, like being know it alls.
I swear I also see a look of disdain on some womens faces when I tell them I feel fine at the moment, it's like I've just kicked their puppy. Then they jump to telling you how that will all change and share their horrific birth/post labour/infant day stories with you, like they get some gleeful pleasure about sharing how hard it all is. And they always end it by saying something like "oh, but everyone will tell you what to do, just ignore them".
My patience is wearing really thin as my pregnancy progresses and I was already bad at trying to nod and smile - my face does not lie. I'm going to end up really upsetting someone in the next few weeks.

I'm happy having chats with other people about their experiences, but I detest all the unsolicited advice as if I'm a total thicko. If I have questions, I'll ask someone.

Anyway, that's my morning rant out of the way. Thanks for listening. 😁

Sigh baby is still breech and I've been sent for growth scans. I don't believe in the growth scans for a second but the breech is really bugging me 😩😩

@Cocobeau oh I hear you!!! Plus rant away 😊

@greenerfingers oh no, sorry to hear baby is still breech. Have they a plan if baby doesn’t turn?

My baby is definitely trying to elbow there way out via my side. They are lying diagonally so I keep getting very painful large movements in my side that actually make me wince.

Also, has anybody else got a numb patch on their bump? The front of my bump (quite a large patch around my belly button) is completely numb. I presume it’s the stretching of the nerves, bits it’s freaking en out as it’s horrible.

@CurlyNo2 I have a numb/tingly patch that comes and goes in the middle of my ribs at the bottom, I presume from the same thing. It’s often worst in the evening randomly, which you’d wonder why if it’s due to stretching. But from a google it seems normal

Nothing as of yet. They said they'll recheck at 36 weeks and assess but I feel that's really late if they were to try anything. I really really don't want a c-section especially with a toddler and other general health issues.

@greenerfingers I've heard they don't do anything until 36 weeks as it's fairly common for baby to turn. Also, I think it's painful, not always successful and the baby can turn back to breach after if that's where it was comfortable. I'd imagine if they did it earlier the baby would have more room to turn back..

Hope everyone with covid is ok. My DD at school told me about a newborn sibling being sick and have since found out baby and school age sibling have it roo. 😔I have 2 days left at work but have a cold so may not actually make it to the end. I keep testing, and it's not covid. I've been around so many colds past two weeks. My DH has it worse for now. I am holding off getting a flu jab and the earliest covid jab I've booked is 18th.

My rant is about my GP. Had my delayed 28 week bloods at 34 week appointment last Tuesday. Had a missed call from gp practice on Monday. After 45 minutes on hold they could tell me nothing, no record of a call, couldn't tell me blood results, I can't yet book a 38 week midwife appointment, with a new midwife as the other one is going on leave at some point now. I was just told whoever called has probably finished clinic (maybe midwife) and will call back. I texted Midwife yesterday, no reply. She could be on leave and a different called me...I feel fine so I've taken it as if there was anything wrong they'd let me know.

@Bramblecrumble22 That is so frustrating, sounds really disorganised. For us we only get contacted if something is not right with bloods, otherwise just presume fine. Not being able to sort the appointment is a pain though.

@greenerfingers sorry baby is still breech. Fingers crossed they will turn, although sometimes I feel like if you've tried to encourage them and they're still that way there must be a reason and that's how they fit in there for them to be comfortable. Although I do appreciate why the c-section isn't ideal.

Hope everyone with covid is feeling better. @Cocobeau when I was pregnant with my first I felt amazing the whole way through, it was covid so I didn't see many people but even now when I say that I almost feel bad as people are like you can't say that and what is wrong with you haha. Even when I was overdue I was mobile and happy. OK this time not so much and I'm jealous of my first pregnancy self! People do always have comments, same with once baby is here, suddenly its like the world owns that baby.

I've got my growth scan again today to see if baby has grown enough since last week. Fingers crossed all is well, I do feel bigger but appreciate that doesn't tell me much really. Baby is certainly active in there! Not sure of the format for today so just hoping we aren't waiting for hours.

I just finished my scan and the baby is head down again. I could cry tears of relief!! Just hope it stays head down now. Even though I felt totally ridiculous (and my spd was triggered so much) I think the exercises on spinning babies really helped open the pelvis up. I've been doing them this morning and last night. It's turned overnight. I did feel it wiggling but told myself not to get my hopes up.

Oh that’s fantastic news! Really happy for you.

I think i need to start these exercises to help position baby as they are stuck in my side, I presume they are lying diagonally, that’s what it feels like anyway.

That's great @greenerfingers. Hope everyone with covid is okay. 3 people from my small team at work are off with covid. Friday is my last day at work.

@greenerfingers I am so pleased for you, what a relief.

I've had a long day! So I went for the scan and it wasn't for growth it was just for cord, fluid, placenta checks. Found that the fluid levels had reduced on last week and waited 1.5 hours for the doctor. Then she said you can only check the growth every 2 weeks so I need to come back next Wednesday for that but in the meantime due to fluid reduction I need another scan Friday. If fluid levels have changed for the worse I have to go to the assessment unit but if ok I can wait til Wednesday next week to speak to the doctor again. It is likely unless there is some improvement baby will be early. I am so not ready for that, I'm a late baby mum!! 🤣 Definitely going to be sorting that hospital bag this weekend.

@greenerfingers thats great news!

@OtiMama oh my goodness, do you think they will induce you early? How many weeks will you be? Defo get that hospital bag packed ASAP!

Honestly maternity outpatients is a shambles! My previous 2 appointments have sat waiting for 40 minutes. Wouldn’t take you to be in a rush to be somewhere else after!

Has anyone had a booking visit with their Health Visitor yet? Had mine yesterday and she said I’m showing signs of being high risk for Postnatal depression 🤦🏽‍♀️ Wonderful.

@Beanniebaby22 oh no that doesn't sound like great optimism from the Health Visitor and it would probably cause me to worry more or start to head that route even if it wasn't correct at the time.

I haven't yet had my appointment with them, but not for want of trying. They are still catching up from the pandemic where I am. I've had one appointment booked at 28 weeks, one at 32 weeks and both were cancelled on the day. My next one is booked for around 36 weeks, but I'm not hopeful. A friend locally had her first appointment after giving birth. They tried to do it whilst she was still at the hospital as her little one hadn't been discharged!

@Beanniebaby22 l have another scan for fluids tomorrow and if lower again they will admit me for further review. But their aim would be to get me to 37 weeks, can imagine it could be a lot of sitting around coming up. I'm 34 weeks on Saturday.

We don't have pre birth health visitor checks here, or at least nobody has mentioned it and I didn't with my son who is nearly 2. I have only seen a health visitor in person once since he was born and once on video and he wasn't even in the video. So shocking, I mean he's fine but I do worry for children who aren't being cared for.

@OtiMama fingers crossed it’s not any lower!

Hmm that’s interesting. I’m in N Ireland think it’s pretty standard here to have an Antenatal appointment with Health Visitor. And then she said they visit on day 14 postnatal after the midwife discharges you 🤷🏽‍♀️

No-one has mentioned the health visitor...I did have one home visit before giving birth 4 years ago. And I think it was earlier in the pregnancy than I am now (35+4) It's not something I'm going to chase up tbh.