Due in June - Thread 13

[CurryandSnuggle]

Will add tags separately as currently feeding bubba xx

Hey all, been awol. Anyone else really struggled the first 6 weeks? I'm just in week 6 and feeling slightly better finally but wow I have found this tough going. Even wondered if I had PND with how low I was feeling and how my life has changed. Feel so guilty as I love DS to bits and have waited so long for all this! Anyway anyone else feeling like I do/ did, after 6 weeks and a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep nightly (DH taking over ) seems to have done the trick as otherwise DS feeds 1.5-2hr lot from the start of a feed currently! Ahh!

My little girl has had two enormous vomits (it just kept coming!) yesterday and today. She's sicked up before but never like this. It doesn't seem to distress her and she's super hungry again soon after. Had anyone else had this? Worried it's heat exhaustion...

@RoseValleyRambles same here, it’s saying the tank temperature is too high. We’ve been putting ice cubes in the tank when it says this and it normally sorts it out!

@Letsbekindplease I feel a million times better after just 24h antibiotics. The redness and heat is gone, and the lump is going down.

How did everyone's babies sleep? Charlie slept alright, had a long stretch 1.30-5am when the room cooled down.

@RooSut25 I asked the Dr at Charlie's 6 week check on Monday about vomiting as he had a big one that morning, Dr said its the heat and not to worry as long as well in themselves otherwise

@MrsTwentyNine I hear you mumma! You're not alone. I too am totally overwhelmed as a FTM. We're 4 weeks tomorrow. Everyone says it gets easier week by week, but especially around 12 weeks. They sleep for longer, a little less wind, etc ... lots of improvements! Hang in there xx

@Octoblockisadick so glad the mastitis is clearing up for you. My boss's wife popped into work and cornered me in the lab prior to my mat leave starting to offer me some advice, mother to mother....it was regarding mastitis 🙈 Apparently holding a cold cabbage leaf over your boob helps?!
I was so embarrassed.

On a different note, anyone else feel almost nothing inside their vagina? 🤣
Can barely feel myself doing kegals, almost 4 weeks on. And yes I know it's far too early for sex, but I was curious and wanted to see and assess damage.... I couldn't feel anything which made me so so sad, I even cried. I'm now glad we had sex during pregnancy whilst I was still able to. 😢😢 hope things improve with kegals/physio, but the MN stories suggest my downstairs will remain giant forever now. Sad times.

Me. My boy wakes up every hour and I am at breaking point. He wants to be rocked a lot too, with me standing up or walking around.
Doesn't like the sling. My eyes are red and dry, my head hurts constantly, my body aches from so much rocking and baby holding.

Partner does all housework and cooking and running a business, so sleepless nights are on me.

Baby is only 3 weeks old and I dread everything. Days. Nights. I cry every day at the despair of it all.

It's really really sad as I always thought these would be the happiest days of my life.

@beansprout55 I'm scared to try sex three weeks post delivery. Did you have stitches? Mine was second degree tear.

I couldn't even hold wee at first. Now I can but also not sure how sex will feel! Did your partner say anything about the difference?

I'm too sleep deprived to do kegels now but if you stick to it my friend says she is now tighter than prior to giving birth!

Also tmi but orgasm supposed to help kegels?

@laurenGame I also had stitches for a 2nd degree - it was sore near where the stitches are for sure, but inside wasn't sore as didn't feel anything!! - I think using lube helped the entrance (sore area) but definitely wouldn't have helped lack of friction.
DH was very honest about it as I told him there's no point saying it feels the same as I KNOW it doesn't as I can feel it too! He said I felt much wider but it was OK to work with, and he still achieved his orgasm but I suspect that was due to no sex for 3+ weeks rather 😂
He assured me it would improve - but what does he know??
Your friends story encourages me - did she tear like us? And was she initially wide and lacked sensation like me post birth? If you still talk to her ask her pls 😂😂 clinging on to hope here...

Oh @laurenGame I didn't read your earlier post, that's so so tough you dear girl. Big hugs.
Do you have family nearby to help at all?
Are you BF or formula? I'm EBF and I have often thought about changing to formula before bed to give him loads so he sleeps longer and doesn't cluster feed overnight. I haven't yet - but if he gets bad again I might. Might not work but others have suggested it.

Will he not sleep in his cot and only on you? The Gina Ford book that @fpeg suggested had some tips on that.

@laurenGame I felt exactly the same as you for the first 6 weeks of Flynn's life, he's now 9 weeks old and I promise you it does get better. I felt so overwhelmed and like a rubbish mum as he wouldn't settle easily and as a FTM I also felt like I had no idea what I was doing at all.
Don't put pressure on yourself, all you need to do is feed and look after baby and you, anything else can wait.
We combi feed now so he sleeps longer at night which means I get sleep too (only 2.5 hours at a time but I'll take it!
Sending you hugs xx

@beansprout55 @laurenGame @NorthDevonBeachLover it's reassuring to know it's not just me but also feel bad that we collectively go through this period as Mums 😭 each day does make it easier I promise...
Today was my 3rd day alone with baby and I managed to do some cooking while he slept! Baby monitor in the kitchen but still ...never thought I could accomplish anything at all while I was alone with him let alone cook. I'm also going to get someone to sleep train him as soon as he is 6 months so I'm telling myself it's not for long ...
Formula or breast ladies...do whatever works for your mental sanity. A happy mumma is the most important for our little ones!

@laurenGame the first weeks are so so hard, please don't beat yourself up for not enjoying it. I know it doesn't feel like it now but i promise it gets better. It's such a change from the before baby life isn't it.
I know you probably don't feel like it, but it might be worth looking to see if there are any local baby groups to get yourself out for an hour or so. I know it's easier said than done, with my daughter first time i tried to go to a baby group i got to the end of our street, froze in terror, burst into tears and went home. It got easier though and I managed to go to lots of baby classes eventually!

Thank you for everyone's comments I keep re reading them and they give me some warmth. ❤️

I'm combi feeding he is just quite fussy, GP ruled out colic. Im wondering if GPS are qualified enough to diagnose colic or reflux..?

I didn't get a HV visit because GP said as Gave birth privately I don't qualify so my referral to be seen by a HV was rejected (received a letter). I could have really done with this visit having no family nearby. We went privately because it was a personal decision but we're not made of money to see paediatricians privately.

I saw this on Instagram and cried as it resonates with me so much. If anyone else is struggling you're not alone

@laurenGame that doesn't sound right about the health visitor at all. Could you Google who the local team is and give them a call?
I'm sure every family with a young child can have a health visitor if they want

@Octoblockisadick I am in Australia and maybe that's why. 😞
They said I can go and visit one myself but it's 45 mins drive and I'm terrified to go further than 5 mins from my house. If the baby screams at least I can be near my house.

@beansprout55 my friend has episiotomy and sounds like it was a pretty painful recovery. She did go to see a physio for pelvic so it's must have been bad!

But she said she's now tighter than pre birth so please don't despair - remember it's a muscle so try doing your pelvic floor if you can? Also I've read that having sex/being around is good as it sends blood flow to your private parts and just using muscles down there is good.

I'm 3 weeks post birth and can't wait to have sex again but am terrified it'll hurt. I shall report back to you when that happens 😂 planing to in about 2-3 weeks x

@laurenGame & @MrsTwentyNine So sorry to hear things have been tough. It is SUCH an adjustment having a baby, your world is turned upside down. Do speak to HV though if you're really down they will be able to help. I find remembering that everything is a phase is useful, I won't be pacing my dark hot bedroom trying to stop my baby crying forever....

@laurenGame @MrsTwentyNine I'm so glad I came on here this morning and read your posts. I am not enjoying these first weeks either although my little girl is 7 weeks now. I'm so tired I have memory loss, she has reflux and suspected CMPA and I genuinely think I might have PND.

I miss being able to do my hair and shave my legs, I miss just jumping in and out the car when shopping and feeling happy. I also have a prolapse which I can't say I'm thrilled about!

I don't have any other mum friends to do things with and the days are incredibly lonely. 

Hope everyone is as well as can be during the middle of postpartum life!

So sorry to hear that others are struggling with the first few weeks too. We're almost three weeks and it's just relentless. Baby growbabygrow has really bad nappy rash and it makes me feel like an awful mum. Dreading when DH goes back to work as I'm still really unconfident holding her.

@DaimDillyDoo have you got a good GP that you could talk to about how you are feeling?

@DaimDillyDoo do you have meds that help with reflux? I've bought every possible over the counter medicine, nothing works. He just looks in so much pain when eating. And at night. Sometimes he wakes up every 30 mins.
I'm scared of the nights as they are so long and everything aches from rocking the baby constantly.
I'm scared when the sun rises as I know I have a long day ahead, of baby's relentless crying. And being unable to calm him or putting him down when he's asleep and 5 mins later hearing the dreaded cry , meaning I have to go and rock him again.

I just want to shave my legs, as you said. I want to brush my hair. I want my baby to be happy and not look like he's suffering.

@laurenGame im so sorry to hear that it’s been tough. It sounds really hard. I hope you can get some answers. Just remember. You’re doing such an amazing job. He is so lucky to have a mummy like you. It will get easier. I remember with my 1st I would DREAD bed time. Constant screaming for a good couple of hours. It did pass. He woke up one day and he was like a new baby. It was so strange. Do you have anyone to give you a hand or a break for an hour or two. Just to shower , nap have a coffee. ?

Do all your babies only nap in silence? Henry used to nap in the living room with the tv on or when I was out and about - since he turned 4 weeks he is SUCH a light (and crap!) sleeper. He wakes up so easily, stirs then cries until picked up. And is hungry, again. He's like a different baby! Is this a long term thing??

Oh also, BF mums, how can I make him take a full meal during a BF session? He feeds on waking and then mid way through or before his nap he wants more. Which makes making a 3 hourly routine impossible. And I can't leave the house anymore!!

Yes husband has stepped up and started doing 8pm-12am baby shifts, on top of everything else. @Letsbekindplease
It's so awful when I takeover at 12am and ask 'how did he sleep?' The answer is always the same, that he's barely slept

@laurenGame how is he fed? My little one was using the bottle maker (tomee tippi perfect prep machine) I was advised to stop using it as it causes wind/colic. I now just use boiled water straight from kettle. I can’t believe the difference. She still has some cries but not colic. Also using infacol.
Have you spoke to a doctor? (Sorry I’ve not read back ) x

I've been using boiling water for formula but just ordered tommee tippee prep machine 🤦‍♀️ if it can give colic I best bin it then.

I've used infacol, coloxyl, Gaia probiotic drops, and infants friend (camomile and lemon oil for colic and reflux). Nothing seems to help 

@Letsbekindplease