Due Feb/Mar after MC 🌈 🙈

[MooBugz]

Hi all,

4+3 according to Flo app, pregnant after a miscarriage in March at 11 weeks so feeling very anxious / scared and needed a safe space to speak about pregnancy worries without thriving anyone of joy!

Feel free to join and share the journey together.

@Rubes1234 wow what a rollercoaster for you, although I'm so glad to hear things are ok. I had some bleeding early on and found it incredibly stressful, never got an explanation for it either. I feel for you. Like others have said, worth asking for more info but also maybe need to focus on how you can best look after yourself if you keep bleeding and still don't know why as you might not find out the reason? Absolutely appreciate that the not knowing is horrible and given past experiences of course you're still going to worry, but wonder what might help you at least to cope?

@MooBugz I have told most people now but that's because personally I am very open about my past experiences and see it as something I wouldn't want to keep a secret if it happened again. However that's just me, appreciate I'm probably quite extreme in how open I am (maybe not always a good thing?!). But if you don't feel ready, don't feel bad about waiting a minute.

@Gamergirl84 we've decided that we're going to keep it a surprise, unless something at a scan suggests a serious issue - then I'll want as few surprises as possible. But if things seem fine we won't find out. That said, pretty sure I saw a penis at the 12 (13+6) week scan so I'm 99% sure it's a boy anyway 🙈

@Hagster that's hilarious. I did wonder if I saw a penis at my 12 week scan also.

@gamergirl84 I'm definitely planning on finding out the sex. Absolutely don't mind either way but I'm just too impatient! I felt with DS it helped me with bonding while pregnant. Because we knew he was a boy and had his name picked.

Pretty sure I'm having another boy. Those I've told all think it's a girl but I thought I saw something on 12 week scan and even my dentist took one look at me and said it was a boy based on bump. Plus I seem to be back to craving sugar a lot (don't usually have much of a sweet tooth), and I was same with DS. It was during first lockdown and I swear I'd have lobbed my own arm off at one point for a pack of rolos!!!

@Hagster I'm quite an open person usually and have told a few people about the mc even if only so that people know I'm here to talk to if it was to happen to then or someone they know.

I'm all for raising awareness of these kind of things and know a lot of people feel the need to struggle in silence which is sad.

I don't feel pressured to announce this time but just waiting till the time is right and I can do it happily lol right now I feel when I tell people they are more excited for me than I am!

Also on the gender chat I don't think I'll find out with this one I like the surprise element haha 😆

I don’t want to announce after the pain I felt after my losses and period of infertility before that, others announcements just made me feel so sad! My close friends and family know and as I meet people now they’ll be able to tell as I’m starting to show!

you need to get the chromosome tests done privately in Ireland using a Harmony test, so I did that 2 weeks ago and found out we’re having another little boy! I was so sad for a few hours as my sister is due a girl a few weeks before me and I just always thought I’d have a girl - but now I’m just grateful for him and that my little boy who turned 3 yesterday will have a little brother to play with!! 💙

@MooBugz totally get it and definitely didn't mean to sound like it's about one's openness overall. Really sorry if that's how it came across. To be honest it's got me thinking and I wonder if it's not openness, maybe I just have no filter with it and maybe it's me trying to process it by keeping it present? More for my needs than anyone else's I think if I'm being honest with myself. That said I don't put a thing on social media. Agree with the points others have made about needing to be sensitive and protecting yourself and others in that space.

And 100% understand what you say about others being more excited than me. Usually people who haven't had bumps in the road. I appreciate their intent but I still just feel mixed.

Anyway I will stop navel-gazing and say you should tell people when you're ready and that's probably all I should've said in the first place! x

Also, congrats @JoKB on having another boy 💙

Oh no @Hagster don't worry it never came across like anything! That was just me thinking out loud my thoughts and they come out like waffle at times lol honestly
Nothing you said was offensive or made me feel any certain way I promise you ❤️

And yeah each time their own I guess everyone feels right in their own time. I've got a very noticeable bump now and it has definitely helped me more pregnant recently 🥹

Hope everyone else is doing ok!

Congrats @JoKB they will be the best of friends and tag team against you when they find their bond!

Hey all, hope you're all well today.

@Rubes1234 am so sorry to hear about the bleeding, that must be so scary! Are you on progesterone? Hope you get some answers soon or the bleeding stops!!

Interesting discussion about announcing/ telling others. I was very open with my DD and told quite a few friends and family before 12 weeks, but didn't "announce" on social media till about 13 weeks and just put the scan pic up on insta and FB. I was blissfully ignorant of any issues really tho back then, as it was my first pregnancy and luckily so smooth. With each loss this year I have told a handful of people either before it's happened or afterwards but not as many and the list has got smaller as time as gone on.... Like others have said I'm quite an open person and find it hard to hide things plus I've benefitted from the support during the mcs. Plus I think it's good to raise awareness of this stuff, although only if the woman experiencing it wants to. It's not a duty that we must do it. It's our own experience and we need to do what feels right.

With this current pregnancy I have told a few friends, particularly a couple of mum friends who live nearby and also who have experienced loss, and some who live overseas but who I keep in touch with online. But weirdly not my closest friends .. or my mum and dad or sister ... It's odd I know but I guess I feel it's harder to tell them. I would tell them if I miscarried again tho. If all continues to go well, not sure if it'll "announce" at all but will tell people more after 12 weeks I think.

Re the penises at 12 week scan - do you guys know about the nub theory?? 😂 Sometimes a girl nub can be quite long and look like a penis! @Hagster @STom2

I've been feeling a bit rubbish lately, I have been feeling quite nauseous which is gross but then it comes and goes which worries me too, although I know it's normal 😬 and I feel I've put on loads of weight as having to constantly eat and my body wants crisps and beige food! Plus I've been having another big wobble about losing it again, today is the day in my last pregnancy the MC was confirmed at the hospital (6+4) so I guess this week was always going to be hard. I feel very emotional too. Blergh, it's hard isn't it! 😔 Grateful to be pregnant right now and hopefully this is the one. X

@JoKB congrats on your little boy 💙 they willl be best buds ☺️ I can understand your feelings as I always imagined having a girl too but as you say, it'll be lovely and they will be a little duo 💙💙💙

@Skylark1990 Today is definitely a hurdle for you but take time to rac and take your mind off it if you can.

On the sickness - this is EXACTLY how I get with pregnancy sickness. With my DS in particular it came and went like this and it was beige food central. I ate so many wotsits and dairylea. I figure if you're taking a pregnancy vitamin it will be picking up the slack, but even if not, so many get horrendously ill when pregnant and can't keep any food down at all. So once you're able to eat that's the main thing.

I've heard of the nub theory and I won't be convinced either way on the sex until they tell me at my 20 week scan. But I kind of feel instinctively it's a boy. That said I was convinced DS was girl so my instincts are terrible!! Definitely don't mind either way as there are loads of benefits to either!

Take time to rest. Not rac. What even is that!! Lol

@STom2 we can say rac was your way of saying rest and cuddles 😂

@Skylark1990 sending you all my love today hope you get through it ok I know I was the same over the week/time that my mc happened but ultimately the fear still sits there, do what you can to keep busy have little goals to work to even.

@JoKB congratulations on your baby boy news!

I’m going to find out the sex too! I’d like to be able to keep a wee surprise but can’t wait that long 😂

re telling people. I didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant the first time but after our loss I told my closest two friends and a couple of members of close family. I held off on telling anyone again until we’d been for our 12 week scan which was around 13 + 3 for us and we’ve only told the same people that knew about our loss. Plus I told my manager because I am starting to show a little and there’s only so many times you can say I have a dentist appointment 😂.

I totally agree with previous posters it’s completely down to whenever you feel comfortable.

Hope everyone is doing ok today!

@Skylark1990 totally understandable that you’re feeling it today, sending love.

Thanks @MooBugz, my brain is weird 😂❤️

Hope today is going ok for you @Skylark1990, those milestones are so difficult.

Well that whole nub theory thing just makes it very confusing. I might have to find out after all just to stop tying myself in knots!

Loving the idea of rac as rest and cuddles @STom2 @MooBugz.

Eww my 2 year old now developing the chicken pox 😩😬 I hope she doesn't get any on her face they seem to be having a private meeting on her upper back at the moment lol

@moobugz Oh no!! Didn't your other LO have it recently?? My son isn't in nursery yet so I think this is why we've avoided it. I thought until recently that I had it as a child but when I asked my mum a few months ago she said she honestly couldn't remember for sure!

Oh no @MooBugz! Hope she's ok and the party remains restricted.

Hi everyone,
I’ve not been on for a while, I think I’ve caught up - I’m sorry it’s been a stressful time @Rubes1234 @RedElleJ but I’m so glad both your scans were positive.

@Skylark1990 I hope you are feeling ok and taking it easy.

@Hagster I have tried and failed to see if I can decipher the 12 week scan pic using the nub theory but I’m totally clueless!
My sister said a boy straight away, I have a feeling a boy too, I was certain dd was a girl and she was, but really it’s just a guess. I really have no preference!

@MooBugz Oh no! I hope your little one doesn’t get it too bad 😩 A 2 year with the pox and scratching is not the one!

All my family know I’m expecting, but I’ve only told 2 of my friends, they live local & I can’t really hide it now, bump is visible! Most of my mates still live down south, so I don’t see them but I think I’ll wait a few more weeks till I tell them. I’ll be 5 months by then! Scary how the time is flying by.

I’ve told quite a few people now. Friends back home, immediate family and a few others who knew about my previous mc. I am waiting to tell work until after my scan at the end of the month…still doubting things are okay.

Goodness me @MooBugz - you’re having a rare old time with the illnesses. I hope you all stay safe and well, and that this is the last of the sickness in your house for a while.

I am sure it’s a girl but haven’t tried to really decipher the image. No obvious nub though! So if I was a betting gal - my money would be on a girl.

I wanted to ask, is anyone else feeling worse than in the first trimester? I know I’m only just into my second but I have napped every day for the past 3-4 days as I am just exhausted. I am also really struggling when I walk the dogs…I’m shuffling my feet and huffing and puffing like I’ve never exercised a day in my life. Really worried about going back to work tomorrow and how I’m going to manage without my naps 😂 x

Thanks for all the support ladies, yeah we seem to have had a run of illnesses from covid to the chicken pox! My son had chicken pox last week but I assumed my little girl had given it to him as she had a few spots but it must have just been bites!

@RedElleJ I was just talking to my husband about that there on how bloody tired I've been. I don't remember being tired this long before and still waiting for the glow up so you're not alone in feeling worse for wear

@RedElleJ and @moobugz Definitely another one here for still feeling like crap a lot of the time!! Still getting sick first thing in the morning despite the nausea being gone for the most part. Definitely still napping (I'm doing it when DS naps so glad I at least have that option). Also, the last couple days I've been super bloated and had "stretching" pains across belly. Boobs still heavy and sore but mostly in the evening. And earlier today I got a sudden dizzy spell and almost fell over! I was saying to DH that by this stage when pregnant with my DS I felt waaaaaaaay better.

Also, I've mentioned the acne on here a few times. Absolute pain in the butt.

I was looking at some article though that listed all the possible symptoms in week 15 and every single one I've mentioned above was on there. So I just have to take it as norm. My MIL did say to me that subsequent pregnancies can be worse.

Having an anxious day today, feel bad letting myself worry when they are already going above and beyond for me after last time and scanning me every fortnight but I’m still 9 days away from my next scan and already terrified. I was still being sick a few days ago and now at 15 weeks I’m not, I’m not having twingey ligament pains anymore, I was having pain when I stood up from my chair and I’m not having that anymore. I feel generally pretty good. I do have a fair size bump, and have felt what I think is baby turning over once or twice but not daily and not obviously. It’s stupid of me to analyse my symptoms really as when my 12w missed miscarriage was picked up last time at 18 weeks I’d only really started getting suspicious about my symptoms lessening after 17 weeks, so I had 5 weeks of being sick, sore boobs, knackered, twinges etc despite the baby being dead for all of it. And I know this baby was definitely ok last week. But still worried and finding myself googling! It’s so shit isn’t it, pregnancy after miscarriage, all the joy and excitement just feels like it’s been robbed this time around. I can’t wait to feel more reliable movements. I had an anterior placenta with both my previous pregnancies and this one is posterior so I’m hoping to feel a lot more. With my son I didn’t feel anything until 32 weeks!

Hi @doingitalllagain sorry that your having an anxious time of it right now. I don't blame you though it's all very understandable and I would think I would be much the same in that position. I know that for me I was very anxious up until 12 weeks as I had found out about my mc last time at 11weeks but baby had died at 8. Which in itself is crazy that the body takes time to recognise.

So in that respect I would fully expect you to feel what your feeling until you got past the point it went wrong last time but take comfort that you have these extra scans and care so there's nothing more you can be doing and sending you hugs xx

Thank you all for your kind words <3 Got through the last few days - still feeling pretty nauseous nearly all the time! Ergh it's grim sometimes but haven't properly started spewing yet. I've rescheduled my scan to next week when I'll be 8 weeks, am hoping it just means it's a little more reassuring and we see a little more... fingers crossed anyway!

@doingitalllagain So sorry you are feeling so anxious. I think I would be too, in your position, it's so natural. Do you have any mental health support due to your history? Like a bereavement midwife you could speak to or a counsellor? Sending lots of hugs. I remember with my DD I started feeling normal around 15/16 weeks so take heart it's very very normal for the sickness to ease off and for us to have a nice few weeks in the second trimester... hopefully it's just a sign that you are entering a new, positive phase for the pregnancy x

Sorry you are having such a rough day @doingitalllagain - they sometimes come out of nowhere and really floor you. Completely agree with @MooBugz in that it is understandable you are feeling anxious around this time. But you are doing absolutely everything you can right now and that is all you can ask of yourself. It seems that pregnancies differ not only from person to person but from your first, second, thirds…

I don’t know if it helps but I had the tiniest bleed at 8 weeks during my last pregnancy that no one batted an eyelid but it was discovered baby had died at 8 weeks during the 12 week scan. This time round I have bled some much more and everything seems fine - so symptoms really aren’t a guarantee of anything. Which is frustrating and hard to accept - hopefully as you get the next few weeks out of the way your anxiety will pass but be sure to tell your midwife so they can offer you any additional support.

I am 100% with your pregnancy after loss is tough and takes away so much. But, hopefully it will all be worth it in the end for us all x

Sorry you’ve been plagued by the nausea @Skylark1990 here is hoping it is short lived. My sonographer said 8 weeks is her favourite time to scan people who have experienced loss before because you get to see bubba wriggling about and it gives the room such an uplift ☺️ So 8 weeks seems like the perfect time to check in on little squish. I know it only gives us a shirt reassurance but I guess we have to take the joy when we can x