Pregnant after recurrent miscarriage

[LostFox82]

Hello

looking for some support from women in the same boat, while I await the first scan!

I’ve had 2 missed miscarriages in the last 18 months 9 weeks and 6 weeks and found out I was pregnant again last week before starting the drugs the clinic had prescribed.

im now 5+3 I’m on hydroxychloroquine, progesterone and prednisone. I’ve had brown spotting but that has eased but have had no pregnancy symptoms apart from bloating! I’m not very tired or nauseous and I’m really worried it’s another empty sac or something.

I have early scan booked on 13th may but it’s so torturous.

anyone in a similar boat?
x

@Willow11981 9 weeks tomorrow - I put my dates into the NHS app 😂
I don’t know, I have a call with the RM clinic tomorrow morning so I’ll see what they offer me, if they do that option. I really desperately would love a scan if I knew it was good results, I know life doesn’t work that way 😔

how are you feeling? Did you have a good weekend? Have you told anyone the news yet? X

@Emily090……… ah I’m keeping everything crossed, I really think you will have a good scan this time!! And just think how much of a relief it will be if you go and get good news!

yeah I’m feeling ok thanks, still feeling pretty normal! My weekends been pretty quiet though as husbands been away on a stag and I purposely didn’t arrange to see anyone so I didn’t have to make excuses for not drinking!!

we haven’t told anyone yet apart from my parents and my best friend. They are the only people who know about the MC’s too! ……. If I do manage to make it to 12 weeks and results come back ok from the tests then we will tell my husbands patents and brother and my sis…….. I’ll prob wait a bit longer to tell workmates/Friends etc …… although That seems so far off!
who have you told so far?

x

So good your feeling okay, hopefully you’ll have a smooth pregnancy - you are owed this. Have you many friends having children or with younger children? Try not to worry too much about everything, you are still young - 4 of my mum friends were 39 / 40 & 41 and have gone on to have their second with no issues etc.

we’ve told my family and a few close friends, we are quite open with them as we needed support with the previous losses - childcare and emotional.
it’s very ‘okay fingers crossed’ and not talked about now though as no one really knows what to say anymore.

thank you for wishing me positive thoughts, I’ll let you know if I book tomorrow.

xx

Thank you @Emily090 yes trying to get an earlier night tonight, although I’m in bed working currently to try and ease work stress tomorrow, it’s always horrible on Mondays because I have Fridays off and so have so much to catch up on.
I know what you mean about the 2nd scan person. I also asked to be scanned again for 3rd time before my op and the woman was so abrupt as if it was such an inconvenience- it really got to me.

@PossiblyPertunia i can’t believe that re scans at diff hospitals, that would breast help me to have it so often I think! I’ll just have to get a private one in between I suppose, I already have done deposit credit with them from last time I cancelled because of mc 😕

@Mawitchy never been offered testing apart from checking if it was molar which it wasn’t. Will you get harmony test do you think? I don’t want to tempt fate and look into it yet but will if I get past Fridays scan

@Emily090 …….. all of my closest girl friends (from school) have children, most have 2 and a couple have 3 and my bestest friend who has 2 is going through IVF at the mo to try for her 3rd.
a few of my best friends from work (worked with the same people for 20 years) don’t have and don’t want children…….. I think people will be suprised if I get to the point of telling them!
Thanks though, 40 does feel old but it’s seems there’s so many people having kids late 30’s, early 40’s these days!!

ah I guess it is hard for people to know what to say isn’t it as you don’t want them to say ‘wow congratulations’ and be all excited when you are feeling so apprehensive about it all.
my parents were the same , I started with …. ‘Don’t get excited because it’s very early days etc etc ‘ …… and mum was like ok well fingers crossed.

yes let know if you book something in!!!! Xx

@Willow11981 and @Emily090 very similar here with telling people. The few who know don’t really say much after, but I’m fine with that. My mum hasn’t learned not to get too excited.
@LostFox82 i think I was offered the testing as was 3rd mc. Yeah will definitely get harmony. But also looked at panorama, and that can test for a few more things so I think I’ll go with that.

One step at a time though isn’t it? I had more spotting, but now it’s pink. So I’m not feeling good about that at all. It’s the same as what alerted me to a problem with previous pregnancies. I’m running out strength here :(

@Mawitchy …….. really sorry you’ve had more spotting, it’s so hard to not let it worry too much but It prob is absolutely fine, can you bring your scan Forward a little? Is it Friday? Xx

@Willow11981 thank you x I can’t really bring it forward as no childcare. I’ll need to do a better job of being distracted!

Oh @Mawitchy im sorry, this is so bloody horrible. You must be so unbelievably stressed. But I have seen numerous others who have had spotting and it’s fine.
also can you call the clinic / doctors now and ask tell them?

i had my call with the recurrent miscarriage gynaecologist today - she was very understanding and offered me a scan tomorrow, I declined - I’m not ready. But I have booked for Tuesday next week. I’ll be (hopefully, praying) 10 weeks. Also the gynaecologist said she will scan me which has made me relaxed a tiny bit as she seems very kind and understanding.

thinking of you x

Thank you @Emily090 and @Willow11981 it does really help talking to people who 100% get it!
The gynaecologist sounds great Emily. Just what you need. xx

@Emily090 …… oh I’m so pleased she was understanding and has agreed to scan you herself, that’s very reassuring to know you will have her doing it! It will make such a difference to have someone who at least understands your anxiety over the scan!! At least you have a date in the diary now so something to work towards!

@Mawitchy …… your so right about it being good to talk to people who really get what you are going through! It’s such a help.

oh I really hope it works out well for all of us this time!!! Xx

I'll be 39/in July I know people older than me that's had kids

Definitely agree @Mawitchy @Willow11981 since we’ve been chatting I’m not googling everything I can possible think of to find reassurance. Thanks to you x

i actually feel a weight lifted off me booking the scan, like one less scary hurdle to do. Only time will tell. And yes I’m super thankful awful she’s offered to scan me.

how are you both feeling? @Mawitchy has the spotting stopped yet?

@JenniferR2021 Definitely. I’m 33 and considered a young mum, whereas years ago that was seen older. Times are changing as I think being later 30s early 40s is a great time to become a parent. There’s no right or wrong. However / whenever it happens is a blessing.

@Mawitchy oh I'm so sorry that's so crappy :( hopefully it's just a haematoma!

@Emily090 I completely understand with the scan! I've got my first one next Wednesday. They offered me tomorrow but I'll only be 5 weeks so pushed to next week where hopefully there will be something to see?

@Willow11981 in my friends NCT group she was the youngest at 28 by 10 years. Out of 8 of them only 2 were under 40!

I do have a nearly 17/year old and 13 year old so suppose I was a young mum at one point lol

@PossiblyPertunia Good luck for next week. I think waiting an extra week is a good idea as you can hopefully get a clear heartbeat -, even though it seems like forever. I’ve no idea how I’ve got to 9 weeks without cracking. I think my symptoms have kept me going and each day I have them I feel grateful. I’m aware it could mean anything but my last missed miscarriage I lost symptoms a week before my scan. Fingers crossed for us both for next week. X

@Emily090 …… ah I’m so glad you feel a bit of a weight has lifted with booking the scan, I guess it was hanging over you so much that it’s a relief to just have a date to work towards! …….. now it’s in the diary try and forget about it for a few days …….. near on impossible I know 😂.

@PossiblyPertunia ……. Wow only 2 under 40, that’s actually quite suprising! …… and a little bit reassuring at the same time.

@LostFox82 …… how are you getting on?

@Mawitchy … has the spotting eased?

xx

Morning everyone,
Isnt it so tricky to know what to do for the best with scans? When you’ve had a scan in the past that’s shown a heartbeat but then gone on to miscarry, suddenly they’re not reassuring. TBH I don’t know if I’ll ever feel reassured in this pregnancy, which is a a worry in itself. Omg I’m just so negative at the mo. Sorry!!

The spotting has stopped since yesterday morning. I’ve read all the posts ever written about spotting at 9 weeks and of course it’s not helped at all.

Hope everyone else managing to stay a little more positive! Quite a few scans coming up in the next week. Fingers crossed for us all xxx

@Mawitchy You are not negative, it’s so hard not to think the worst after what we’ve all been through. And the spotting hasn’t helped I’m sure. The posts you’ve read, are many of the positive outcomes? I hope so. If not just stop reading, only a few more days until scan day. (I no it’s easy said than done, today I googled ‘is it normal to wee so much at night when early pregnancy’ Idiot, I know!

thanks @Willow11981 i do feel like I can forget now, I just wish I didn’t actually have to go to the scan - isn’t it being booked enough 😂

Thanks @Emily090 i think if I did an analysis of the posts (which I haven’t, because I’ve not completely lost my mind, yet), I reckon it would be about 40% good outcomes. I’m going to stop reading!
So funny, because the other thing I’ve been googling is “9 weeks pregnant and don’t need to wee all the time” haha. I’ve definitely experienced the every 30 min wee in other pregnancies x

Yes, no more reading!
im having a slight panic as my boobs which have been full, heavy and sore are rather normal today. Light sensitivity but not much. I’m trying to be rational and not Google but unfortunately this is how my last mmc happened. Boobs soft at 8 weeks, everyone told me it was normal, 9 week scan no HB.
it completely sucks tbh and I hope they return but for now I’m probably going to accept the fact it’s probably happened again. Sad I know! But I can’t help feel it’s to same same, if that makes sense.

@Willow11981 im ok thanks, work was mental yesterday so didn’t get a chance to reply but I’ve been reading all your messages as finding it really helping that we’re all in the same boat and all Understand these obsessions with symptoms and scans etc that no one else gets.

I keep getting butterflies every time I think about Friday, @Emily090 im similar to you in that I’m preparing for bad news to help me cope if it comes. I’m normally a positive person but I’ve found with this there is absolutely nothing we can do to change the outcome so I can’t think positive as it will devastate me even more if it’s not.

i also hate how I can’t plan things right now, I have a 40th holiday booked with 10 girls in July and I keep thinking about cancelling as I won’t be up to it but then I keep thinking the pregnancy might not get that far anyway.

@Mawitchy im so pleased spotting has eased for you. Every time I go to the loo I expect to see some and for my heart to fall out, last mc I’d commuted into london for a client lunch when I found the spotting and knew that was it. I had to go home and couldn’t go through with the lunch. But as I said before I also spotted from 5-9 weeks with my 2 boys, so it really doesn’t mean anything either way, it’s just another thing to unnerve us!

A story about having kids later in life for us oldies. I met a wonderful couple at a family event once who met and fell in love when she was 38 and he was 45, they went on to have 7 kids into her late 40s, it’s always inspired me that it’s never too late.
My mIL on the other hand said to me - I don’t know why people try and have kids so late, in my day anyone who did always ended up with a child with DS…. What a thing to say!

@Mawitchy @Emily090 ……….I was a bit worried about my lack of weeing at night, I had a few nights a few weeks ago when I got up to go for a wee then I had a few nights when I didn’t so immediately thought the worst! ……. I’m still not weeing anymore than normal so I don’t think it does mean that much!

@Emily090 ……. Oh I’m so sorry your worrying about your boobs not being as sore, I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything but it’s so hard when it’s happened before so you immediately think the worst! I bet they will be back tomorrow! Mine stopped being sore a couple of weeks ago and haven’t come back so I think they really do come and go!

@LostFox82 ……. Ah a girls holiday sounds like fun! Where is it you are going? Do you mean you won’t be up to it if it’s bad news or because you will ( absolutely everything crossed) be pregnant and not feeling like going away?

ah that is a lovely story!!! 7 kids though!!! Wowza!!! I think I’ll be happy to just get the one! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
why do MIL always say the loveliest things 😂😂😂.

x

I'm right there with you all with a massive lack of symptoms! I'm mildly nauseous every now and then but that's it... not weeing anymore than normal, no sore boob, nada...
I'm also just acting like it's not even happening. Will only feel mildly more comfortable if we have some successful scans...