17 weeks and I think I'm losing/lost the baby

[OopsImDoingItAgain]

Had another thread about midwife not finding the heartbeat and how I'm having a scan tomorrow, but I'm having cramps today in my lower back and down my thighs as if I'm about to come on and really sharp pains in my right hand side. I'm convinced I've lost the baby and my body is starting to catch up. I have tried phoning my midwife I don't think she's working today as no answer, I'm too early to go to the ward. What can I do? Or do I have to just sit tight until tomorrow?

I hope this awful very difficult time passed quickly and just sending you strength and love.

So sorry this is happening to you OP, hope it's over quickly for you, and your getting all the support you need, keeping you in my thoughts.

@OopsImDoingItAgain

Baby has passed, about a month ago

I'm so sorry for yours and your families loss OP xx

I'm so so so sorry OP ♥️
Sending so much love to you and hoping you heal both physically and mentally soon ♥️
Please make sur should take time to look after yourself and process what has happened. It will get better ♥️

Thinking of you. 💐

Rest in Peace little one ❤️

You poor pet.
How simply dreadful.

Wishing you strength.
You will get through this.

Thinking of you 🌹

I hope it all goes as smoothly as possible for you OP. Make sure you take some time to look after yourself, you must be so distressed knowing you’ve carried your baby for a month after they passed.

I would get some photos taken if you decide not to look, just so you have the option to see in the future and don’t be afraid to talk about your baby and name them. They existed and they were wanted and loved and you have every right to honour them.

I hope they’re offering you a lot of support, I’m so sorry you felt pushed into the pessaries

I'm so sorry op.

Sending you strength and love x

I read your posts and was so hoping for you. I'm dreadfully sorry

It's done. It was absolutely brutal but thankfully relatively quick. Baby was 'born' just after 6 and placenta an hour later. I can't get over how painful it was for something so small they couldn't determine the sex either. Dh wanted to look and say goodbye so nurses bought baby in, but I asked him to look first and only tell me to if it wouldn't be more traumatising. He straight away said do not look and was in tears himself.

Now trying to decide whether to have a post mortem and what to do with the baby and I just don't know how to make these decisions

I did ask him to take photos but he said baby didn't look like a baby in that they didn't have skin yet and looked more like jelly. That was enough for me I don't think I want to remember them like that. I'd rather remember them from the scans doing their somersaults

How absolutely awful OP, what a harrowing account, I can’t even imagine how you feel.

Wishing you strength and solidarity and I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how awful that must have been.

Do you have much time to make those decisions? Don't rush into anything. I'm in a miscarriage group and a lot of people do have post-mortems as they want answers but it must be very distressing to go through that.

How awful OP, I am so sorry that you went through this. Sending you love and strength. X

I didnt want to read and run, but i am so very sorry for your loss

I'm so so sorry. This is utterly heartbreaking.

So sorry for your loss. Heartbreaking. You and your baby are in my thoughts

So sorry to hear about your loss, and everyone else who has had similar trauma 💕

Oh op I am so sorry for you and what you've just gone through. I went through almost the exact same thing. I was traumatised. My baby was delivered at 18 weeks.. my waters had broken a few weeks before so I couldn't see or hold my little boy. The doctor who looked after me was 18 weeks pregnant too and she held my hand and cried with me. It was awful.
Take any help and support you can at this time. My daughter was 18months and I found it difficult to look after her in the early weeks. Lots of tlc and access bereavement counselling

Just awful. I hope the physical part of your ordeal is over now and without complications, and I wish you all the best in recovering from this traumatic loss xx

OP, I know it gets said a lot on MN, but I do mean that I've been thinking of you & all you were going through all day. As have many others.

I'm just so sorry. To you & the other posters who had similar experiences, and for all the many of us who have had pregnancy losses in different ways. 🌸

I'm so sorry for all you are trying to process now.

For tonight, remember your little baby - I know you felt it was a boy - for the brief time he was with you, growing inside you. That matters just as much as any other life.

Try to rest and eat a little; cups of tea & small things like a biscuit if that's all you can manage. ❤️

Oh I'm so so sorry 💔 I'm so sorry you are going through this 😢

We've opted for a hospital cremation and will come in just us two and say goodbye and then spread the ashes somewhere special.

It's the post mortem that's throwing me. Part of me wants answers and to know if this could happen again but part of me thinks it won't bring him back and if he came back genetically healthy would I just blame myself.

Has anyone had similar thoughts about the post mortem. What did you decide

I'm so so sorry to hear this op.

I had a mc at the same stage but in a time when there was concern given to the parents or the baby and there were no options for anything fitting afterwards.

Also, I started lactating a few days after the loss which was very upsetting and I had no idea this would happen.

Thinking very much of you