17 weeks and I think I'm losing/lost the baby

[OopsImDoingItAgain]

Had another thread about midwife not finding the heartbeat and how I'm having a scan tomorrow, but I'm having cramps today in my lower back and down my thighs as if I'm about to come on and really sharp pains in my right hand side. I'm convinced I've lost the baby and my body is starting to catch up. I have tried phoning my midwife I don't think she's working today as no answer, I'm too early to go to the ward. What can I do? Or do I have to just sit tight until tomorrow?

Just to add that I'm so sorry you're going through this OP, sending lots of unmumsnetty hugs.

I can only add to recent posters' points.

Yes, there is a risk with a D&C / ERPC as with any surgery. If possible, it's often preferable to complete a MC naturally.

However:

• the risk is very low
• you are sadly losing a pregnancy at 17 weeks, not in the first trimester, so as they've said, the challenge is that the placenta, and the related blood loss will be much more significant
• extremely sadly, your baby died a month ago. This means it's much smaller than 17 weeks, in size, meaning the surgical intervention is possible (when a baby dies at a later gestation, you would usually labour & deliver, as it would be more unsafe to have the surgical procedure, with more risk to you, due to the size of the baby & affect on your womb/that general area.

As a recent poster said, all we can do is give our own experiences & we are not medical experts, in the main.

Therefore I agree that the advice from your doctors is most important but it's totally correct to have the discussion around options thoroughly with them and make sure you are happy (as in satisfied) with them.

I'm concerned re: the risks of infection from the fact that the baby died some time ago, too.

Sometimes medical teams are poor at evaluating the whole picture in these cases.

Sending you a handhold x

I am so sorry this is happening :( I really have nothing to say to you. I'm so glad they are allowing you DH stay with you.

I'm so sorry for you. I was in your position 2 years ago and yes it's better to pass yourself. They are right about your womb being damaged. If you don't want to look I'd suggest asking their advice at the time weather you should or not. My baby had passed a few weeks previous too and I still looked but didn't let my husband

I'm so sorry💐

I went with the pessaries they kept giving me more time to decide but the consultant didn't come back to talk and it was just getting later and later and I just want to get it over with. It's been an hour or so. Pain is ramping up and the paracetamol they gave isn't touching it. And this is just the beginning I imagine. They've gone to get something stronger and have said they'll bring in gas and air if I need it. I don't feel prepared for this

Oh darling

I am so, so sorry.

I have lost 2 babies, much earlier than you, so my experiences were very different but I remember the heartbreak very clearly.

I wish there was something we could say to make it all better.

Sending you and your DH lots of love

I’m so sorry OP, I was really hoping this was just an anxious pregnant poster type thread. I’ve had two MMCs and one was a late first trimester stage foetus, managed with tablets. it wasn’t too bad really and I hope as you’re only a couple of weeks on that it’ll be ok for you. Sending positive thoughts to you x

Op, I'm sorry you are going through this. Sending you lots of love

You poor love, I'm so sorry that you are going through this

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I am so, so sorry. Your DH is there with you I hope?

Op I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. Big hugs

I'm so sorry, I was really hoping baby was just in an awkward place hiding. I hope the next stages are as least traumatic as they can be. Thinking of you at this awful time

My friend recently lost a baby at 19 weeks. The baby had passed at 14 weeks. They got to hold the baby and it was about the size of her hand. They decided not to send it off for post mortem but they did do swabs and blood tests but sadly could not determine gender. She actually passed the baby at home when she was due to go in to hospital the next day to have the procedure. The baby was given a gender neutral name. She was back to normal activities after about a week but obviously still mourning. She was glad she had her eldest to keep her going and give her a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

I'm so sorry for your loss, it must be so tough.

Hi OP. I remember your other thread about the heartbeat and then saw this one last night. I’ve been thinking of you all afternoon. None of us here can make resolve it for you, but I would like you to know that I am thinking of you and wishing you much brighter days. I hope you get the support you need in the coming weeks/months, this is an incredibly horrible thing you are going through x

I'm so sorry you are going through this xxxx

Thinking of you a lot this evening. I hope you are being cared for well. ❤️

I'm so sorry I hope it goes quickly so at least you don't suffer too long. Sending lots of love and hugs

Oh bless you. Thinking of you, came to check on your thread when I finished work. Sending love xxx

This has been heart breaking to read. I wish you a speedy recovery and lots of sympathy. Take care of yourself.

I am so sorry OP xx

I'm so sorry OP, I don't know what to say but I hope the day goes as well as is possible and you're well taken care of

Op my heart breaks for you.

Still thinking of you this evening, I'm sorry it's medical management rather than surgical, but mostly I hope you're kept comfortable and supported