Minsters Side Car - Thread 7 - annoying neighbours, second hand bargains and how many sleep suits should we buy again?!

[larrythelizard]

Babies due in 2022

@Lexber 20 April 💜💙
@DKDK123 12 May 💜
@bez91 14 May 💛
@Minster2012 22 May 💜 (C-section the week before)
@whatwonder 5 June 💛
@feliznavidad2 5 July 💜
@SWAttempting 23 July (will be delivered in June). 💜
@paintfairy 24 July 💜
@Vil10 1 August 💛
@Juno231 11 August 💜
@kaylsd 15 August 💛
@larrythelizard 18 August 💛

@Kirky658 11 August 2021 💜
@Kate105 14 October 2021 💙
@Justanothercyster 10 November 2021 💜
@2020Mission 27 December 2021 💙
@blackcurrantqueen 17 January 2022 💜
@Crazydoglady123 29 January 💜
@Haiyaa 1 February 💙
@becarefuloutthere 26 February 💜

@lexber thank you for your updates so happy to flick on and be able to see the next steps with you! Hopefully you may be moved to the birth suite later 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻😘
@inkypaper hopefully your booking appointment went well this morning and it’s eased your nerves a little bit 😘
@minster2012 eeek another chance for you to see your little lady hopefully she’s cooking well as can be 😘 I hate mess up situations like that with the phone and how the process just means everything but x10 harder than what it needs to be 🤣
@bez91 least your list it prepped ready for your DH to be busy as you nest comfortably 😘 anything I need to know in particular for a list to be for my DH ladies? @minster2012 at the moment as we’re decorating DH is on painting duties everyday 🙈
@whatwonder how old fashioned is that attitude!! Can you feed it back to them on a review of the course that they need to get with the reality of times of how much we’ve all moved toward? MY DH will need the reality check that I’m not going to bounce back and it’ll likely not be pretty either so he needs those chats!
@DKDK123 let’s hope the chilled vibes continue with the situation! Try avoid dr Google (I know easier said than done) as it is the devil for anything health wise! Always the worst situations first! Hopefully you’ll be in good hands whatever the outcome once again 🤞🏻😘

Just had my ILS training at work but had to do the extended version which involved baby choking and baby cpr and paediatric cpr, I hope I never have to be involved with anything like that as it looks awful 🥺 got occupational health ringing from work at 1 too to check in my pregnancy if there’s anything they can do to support the last 3 week whilst I work in my area then out for deserts with two of my friends! Hope everyone else is okay ❤️

@whatwonder the sleeping that would be all very well if they slept that way, mine didn't, so swaddle it was, he didn't sleep very much and didn't really nap, so I needed to sleep myself somehow

@Lexber deffo crumble first! You need your strength

All about the crumble @Lexber loving this!! Take ALL the food offered & try to eat what you can. How is OH now?

Eh that's really bizarre @whatwonder?! On both counts but I especially hate the men out thing??? Def think they should be helping AND appreciating our body's changes afterwards?? On the swaddling we never did it as was the heatwave for DS being born so he literally slept in a nappy for weeks so we were told no swaddling but ordinarily they would've been fine??

@kaylsd the training though is a really good thing to do, I did baby/toddler first aid previously & do think it's a good thing to do

@DKDK123 so pleased you feel chilled about it, I honestly think after what you went through last time this time will be a breeze

Ok so the vest outside didn't last long but it was nice for a bit!! I think the nausea coming & going is def fine @BellatrixK symptoms come and go

I've done a couple of jobs off my list but came over all hot and shaky so need to chill. I will do (adds patio pressure washing to DH's list) I think I'm half asleep today

Great suggestions on the parking front, ladies! I got there 10 minutes early so was able to find and space a breathe for a second before going in.

Appointment itself was fine (@BellatrixK it was just me, DH didn't come), BP deemed OK but not great, will have to have an appointment with the consultant because of the PCOS. Got given the politely phrased "you're too fat" talk, which I was expecting but it still sucked (BMI is 30.3) it consisted of being told not to diet but to also make sure I eat plenty of fruits, veg - especially leafy green vegetables, and don't go wild on the carbs and sugar because I must remember I'm not eating for two. Should get the scan appointment letter through in the next week and a half apparently!

@whatwonder they seriously asked the men to leave?! Surely having them there would help them to be more on it and better look after their partners after the birth??!!

@BellatrixK my nausea ebbs and flows - some days I don't have it at all and others I think I'll throw up any second (although I haven't yet 🤞🏻) so I'd say you're fine 😄

@Lexber definitely eat the crumble first!! Sounds like you're being well looked after which is awesome, hope is at continues to go well!

@Minster2012 omg please chill and rest 🙈 look after yourself ❤️

That's ridiculous @whatwonder I would be livid too. Let's enlighten the chaps with a bit of reality eh and make women feel like they're not alone!

@BellatrixK enjoy the lack of nausea, nothing to worry about mine came and went often so enjoy the absence while it lasts I say! DHs list is a mix of house/nursery, none of it urgent at all but he can get it done ten times quicker with DD being in nursery 😆

@DKDK123 happy to hear you're chilled 😎 the fluid situation could change like mine as and regardless you seem to have a good plan in place for the birth and right headspace which counts for a lot!

@kaylsd can't think of anything I particular for your DHs list, just maybe all the manual labour 😂 random but something on the to do list for first time though as we made idiots of ourselves is if you have a travel system practice numerous times dissecting all the parts and putting them back together and in the car, we went to buy a new car when DD was a couple of weeks old and put the car seat on the buggy frame as she was asleep to look around the forecourt and couldn't get the car seat back off the buggy to put into the car, it took us about 45 minutes until we thought fuck it we'll have to drive home illegally and sort it at home whilst all the salesmen were just looking on 🙄

@Minster2012 definitely one to delegate to DH, take some time to chill lady

@InkyPaper glad all went well at the booking app, not long until first scan 😊

@Lexber hope you got your crumble and hopefully babies next up

Hope it speeds up soon for you @Lexber! It's a shame you couldn't stomach the toast as the tea and toast was the best grub of the hospital I think 😅 something about their toast is really good. Maybe it's more the fact they offer it at a time where you aren't expecting anything! It's interesting you said they wanted to avoid a hormonal pessary so not to distress the babies. I totally believe the hormonal gel they used with me did cause stress. When I was on the monitor after they inserted it his heart rate was fluctuating and someone had to keep coming to check as the monitor kept beeping to alert. I then leaked waters with meconium which is also an indication of stress. It caused fairly rapid dilation for a FTM as I went from 1 to 10cm in 10 hours. I was expecting it to take at least a day being my first. If I had known that was a risk I wouldn't have been keen at all. @becarefuloutthere was also given non hormonal with the balloon. Wonder why they do give some the hormonal? I can understand with twins they would want to be extra careful!

@InkyPaper that kinda talk would make me crave carbs & sugar more tbh 😂(she says having eaten a wispa AND bag of sweets earlier when feeling shaky) 😂😂so maybe don't do that. Come on scan 🤞🏻

@bez91 you made me laugh on the pram /car seat thing! I have practiced with the pram & annoyingly one side of "getting the carrycot off the frame" is really stiff, maybe I need to add that to DH's list but I agree for @kaylsd
you def need to practice closer to the time too as you soon forget 😂

@2020mission gosh that doesn't sound ideal I'm guessing you'd say no if it were suggested again?

I'm chilling don't worry

I had to share this, brother has been in Malta with studies for just over a week, hasn’t call home, so I reminded him, what did our mum wanted? to ask him if he’s eating enough...

Wow, i'm even more behind than i thought. I have had to turn the laptop on or i'll be here all day.

@bez91 brilliant news about your scan. Braxton hicks sounds like its all getting a bit too real. i have been quite thirsty (mouth just feels dry all the time). Dont know if its normal but i did read it can be a sign of gestational diabetes? So i dont know if to mention it to the midwife tomorrow. Fab news about your replacement.
@Minster2012 We will literally starve when i have a baby. Or DH will cook. Because i'm not great at planning ahead and no way will i manage to batch cook like that! Very impressive. All i want to do is bath and nap at the moment! Its exhausting?! I definitely dont iron. I still want to slap Olivia on MAFSA too...... I dont think my DH even gets paternity pay. I think its unpaid. Why do kids do that with toilet doors? I mean its bad enough anyway but in a swimsuit?! I'm glad your appointment went ok.
@DKDK123 hopefully this baby will hang on and you will get your nice planned calm section! Lack of memories is rubbish but but it doesnt mean it will happen this time. Good point on the energy prices - i maybe should have washed everything before they went up!
@Juno231 i cant believe how bad they are with your appointments!? Of course you would arrive when a letter said?! Honestly. And i dont know why they only check up to 24 weeks but thats what she said to me too. Mine oddly had grown and was back up to around 40mm. Great news about sorting somewhere to live!
@Vil10 Glad you sorted the holiday out in some way. And great news about your friend. I dont have a dedicated midwife either but i do have a number i can ring? Yay for getting to 24 weeks. I still cant believe how fast its going.
@BellatrixK Really pleased for your scan going well! Its all happening now! Yours definitely looks more like a baby than mine did at that stage - it was a frog. Rubbish on the nausea front.
@InkyPaper headaches, thrush, heartburn - welcome to pregnancy. Its a great delight. Glad the appointment went well - it is a bit of a non-event to be honest. And i'm sure you are eating for 2. Kind of.....
@kaylsd Yeah MAFSA keeps on giving! Olivia just gets worse! The mess after plasterers is a delight. I want to cry about my house. Greek yoghurt and coconut oil sounds somewhat, erm, messy!
@Kate105 i dont iron either. What a pain about the dishwasher. Grrrr. And the car! God. And you maybe got more sleep as a student too! I think i will be ok for the first 6 months (i'm trying to save up) but once its SMP then i'm not really sure who on earth is meant to live on that? Vaginal moisturiser? I need to look that up.
@larrythelizard oh no! What a pain about the wedding. Nightmare. Bodies/babies are not helpful at all.
@Lexber the father being awkward sounds like a dick. Definitely dont go out of your way to accommodate him in future. Apple crumble sounds amazing. I can see why they would wait if there isnt space but hopefully now things are happening!? I will keep checking for updates!
@feliznavidad2 glad the lasagne scan went ok! I think it seems to a be a trend you cant see much when they are bigger?
@whatwonder did the swimming help? breast stroke is a no no btw. I've not tried swimming as i hate it. Lol. Was this an NHS antenatal class? Mine are online and i'm really not holding out hope of them being useful. There seems to be so much mixed stuff about baby sleeping. I think the bags etc are fine but you need to make sure they arent too big and their head wont go through them. You should always put a baby feet to foot of the bed anyway, no matter what they are in. So they cant wiggle down. I literally have bought sleeping bags but also a cellular blanket, a muslin 4 layer blanket and also some normal big muslins (in case its red hot) so i have options! Agree the men do need to know this stuff too. The good, bad and ugly!
@clolo had a wedding!?
@2020mission non hormonal sounds safer to me too!

Phew, i think thats it!

Hope you enjoyed your crumble @Lexber !

Oooft @2020mission we had PTSD in a swaddle (later sleeping bag post party arm situation) and a blanket tucked in over the top! Got scared at one point about him overheating and expiring, so removed the blanket, but then he woke up every 30 mins so the blanket went straight back on 😂😂😂 I can confirm that he has not yet expired of either heatstroke or suffocation! Just do what you think is best. And GRRR at the 1950s women only shit.

I've had 2 depressing conversations on similar lines this week. One with a friend who's going part time when she goes back to work, and that's going to be a real struggle financially. However her H "won't consider" going PT so she could go back FT , despite the fact that she earns THREE TIMES his shitty salary. And then H reported a v depressing conversation with 2 female colleagues, who both told him they'd rather be dads than mums because "dads just do the fun stuff and don't help with the boring stuff". FML

Wait no wrong tag sorry @whatwonder 😂🙈 I'm multitasking badly here

Other things I have to report.....

Plasterer was here over the weekend and made a mess. I enjoy cleaning that up. 🤨 It did mean we got to have Sunday dinner out though. The joiner is here tomorrow to finish wardrobes, so hopefully bedrooms can be then sorted. As for the rest of it downstairs I've no idea but I'm becoming impatient because I really don't want to be decorating a week before the bloody baby turns up. 🤬
Antenatal class last night went OK. Its kind of part yoga, part education and part relaxation (hypnobirthing type thing). And it's for just mums. 1 girl was on holiday so just 4 of us but actually small is good. Interestingly- every single person had taken ages to conceive with varying issues and were all in the 'i thought it would never happen' boat. Hard to tell ages but I think all were maybe 30 at least, no real young people. So that was good too. I'm unsure if I should book proper antenatal classes for DH and I together? 🤷‍♀️
Next issue- god, we had really intense sex this morning. Massive orgasm. But since then I've had cramps? So now I'm worried. Not really bad and it's not getting worse but my belly has been going hard more often than normal. I'm hoping it just settles down but I'm now put off sex! 🙈 Until I'm horny again anyway! I have felt her moving today so she's still there. But...... ? 😏
25 week midwife appointment tomorrow. Maybe I should mention it. Not the sex mind.... 😳
I've bought some other bits, a shnuggle moses basket for downstairs, pram raincover. Aden & Anais have a sale, so I ordered a few more muslins. I've written a list of things I still need (probably find more I've forgotten). But bar nursery furniture- its pretty much all new/shop bought stuff left to buy.
I also read back to the notes @DKDK123 gave us and saw pram sheets. I honestly had not acknowledged that you need something in the pram at carrycot stage. Is this a thing?! 🤔🤔 I've bought the newborn inlay bit (bugaboo) so just assumed that would do? (Might be too warm mind in summer).

@lexber hope you got to enjoy the apple crumble! Warm apple crumble is one of my favs too, mmm you've put me in the mood for it now, may need to send DH out later on an SOS pregnant lady needs something mission 😂

@kaylsd hopefully you'll never need to put the baby CPr training into practice but definitely a good skill to have just incase.

@InkyPaper sucks on the BMI lecture/chat but hopefully that's the last they'll bring it up and now you can get excited about the scan date coming through

@bez91 you've reminded me to work out how our pram all fits together and folds up for the car, DH had set it up but I've not had a try yet! It's a new to us (but 2nd hand travel system) so I'd better get used to it before baby comes! I've still got one of DSs old Joie one handed fold buggies for when baby's bigger, can't wait to use that it's literally just a twist on the handle and it all folds down.

@franklydear it's sweet your mums checking up on him like that even at his age 😂

@Kate105 I'll admit sometimes I do feel like that too that because DH works full time and I'm with DS more I'm the one stuck doing the day to day boring tasks and disciplining whereas he sees Dad as the fun one as it's great excitement when he gets home. Don't get me wrong DH does discipline etc too but because DS is with me more it feels like he sees me as the nag and daddy as the time to play fun guy 🙄

@paintfairy orgasms can trigger braxton hicks I wouldnt worry about it too much but yea sometimes it's not the most pleasant of feelings afterwards and kind of defeats the purpose.
Pram sheets aren't a complete necessity but I found it easier having pram sheets as DS was prone to random spewing so it was easier and quicker just to have a spare pram sheet in the basket to quickly change them over if he'd spewed all over it while out for a walk and they're easy to just chuck in the wash and cheap enough to have a few spares.

@DKDK123 knowing the guy, the one thing he’ll be doing is eating, whether any studies are being done, and not just international partying, that I don’t know
@Lexber just to say hi

@paintfairy you shouldn't do breaststroke?! What?? The normal NHS antenatal classes would be ok for you both to tell you the important stuff and not repeat too much? Even if over zoom. If you have a freezer you won't starve, I'm a big lover of fish fingers 😂seeeee I told you I got really horny the other week & my orgasms were great, very quick to come too! I then read something about some babies liking the feeling of you orgasming and done don't, maybe yours doesn't 😂no paternity is shit. I have pram sheets as our smaller one is just a thin plastic covering the mattress. Similar on the bigger but we do have a sheepskin liner I've just never used it in the summer. (Note to self get that out)

@Kate105 that's really shit he won't do part time. And I'm sorry but def daddy for the win here, like @DKDK123 says I'm the disciplinarian, the boring one who has to make him brush his teeth, and i don't allow him to jump on me like DH does so see former comment on the words I get from him..."mummy I hate you, go dead yourself" at 2.15am, regularly "well I don't like you any more & I won't play with you" "daddy is the best" blah blah blah. It is mixed with lots of "mummy I love you" now but still hurts. Daddy is the hero who comes in & plays with him

So had my growth scan at 34+3 today & was first straightforward scan. All looking great & we've gone back upto the 90th percentile which on the screen it was really interesting to watch it say the measurements gave a gestation of mid 38 weeks & EDD of end of April 😳they say size currently around 6lb 4oz (obviously pinch of salt) but she says nice consistent growth within the parameters they want growing steadily so all good 😊

The crumble was delicious!! 🤣🤣
Just having a little chill and rest in the delivery suite- waters have been broken, catheter in, epidural in. Jacket spud for tea 👍🏼

Drip on now, and contractions have started but due to the epidural I'm so relaxed I can't recommend it enough! Just had a little snooze 🤣

Oh gone for fresh air and to grab food/walk. I think it's all real now so he is preparing himself for it. The staff have all been so amazing and lovely. I've even had a chest with the consultant that IF I end up with a section they will sterilise me whilst there so forms all signed just in case. Hopefully it so t be needed but it's good to have in place just in case.
@2020mission I hate tea 🤢 but smears neck the tea with sugar and toast after birth! 🤣🤣

I can honestly say if I had known it'd be like this I wouldn't have been half as anxious or worried as I have been for induction. I hope my updates help anyone one who may be nervous in the future to be induced. It's been so relaxed so far - no doubt pushing 2 babies out may smart a little later.. 🤣🤣

@paintfairy woahhh good on the orgasm, I'd say Braxton Hicks but maybe mention to your MW. I must admit with the polyhydramnios I've felt far too uncomfortable for sex but actually feel like my size has reduced this week so I declare it back on the menu 😆 Tbh me and DH did the NCT antenatal class and it was a bit meh. Talked a lot about stages of labour which weren't really relevant in the end to any of the 6 of us, changing a nappy which you self learn anyway and a useless session on breastfeeding, we did meet 4 other nice couples which we still keep in touch with and had a WhatsApp group which was great in the early stages but apart from that I wouldn't say you need to.

Ooh pram sheets @DKDK123 never had them with DD but I suppose they're a good idea! We need a new stroller when the time comes, we bought a M&P one from their outlet but it got wrecked in Portugal on holiday with loads of cobbles (single thin wheels at the front) which kept getting jammed so might invest in a more expensive one this time seeing as we've reused the travel system, the Joie ones look good!

@Minster2012 ooh a healthy good sized baby, fab news! I wonder if they'll look to give you a section any earlier based on the centile 🤔

@bez91 @paintfairy I still say the biggest thing we learnt in antenatal was you don't bath the baby for about 10 days/2 weeks we were like mind. Blown.

@Lexber yayyyyyyy for the drugs! You'll just breathe them out at this rate! And very well prepared with the sterilising too as well, that's very coherent thinking whilst in labour 🤪

@bez91 get on that dick then!! Have to say my libido gone this week. I'm not sure on the earlier section, I mean if she's following a consistent line then I guess not as it doesn't present more risks for a c section does it? X was 9lb & predicted to be like that & they weren't bothered for my friend (who, in 32 degrees heat did it like a pro at home at 40+1) so I'm guessing a c section they won't be bothered? I'm getting major kicks in ribs though & I can't imagine what horror she felt in the heat wave for these last bits

@2020mission the balloon seems to be really uncommon and not even offered in all areas. I'm so thankful it was an option for me, sorry to hear your induction didn't go too well. I'm glad you and Matthew are fine, how's he getting on? We're all good, waiting to get our 8 week appointment. My area combine the 6 week check with the Jabs so I've got a week and a bit to go get for the postnatal check etc.
@Lexber hope things get moving for you soon 🤞🏾
@Minster2012 good to hear you're chilling 😎glad to hear all went well with the scan!

Despite the stress with the heart rate and meconium in the first part (1-4cm) it was actually ok from then on. Although I was on gas and air for the majority of it so I don't have bad (or much) memories of active labour. All the bad was half an hour after the birth when they told me I had to go to theatre for the transfusions and manual removal of the placenta. I do think they should have shared the induction risks though! They handed me a leaflet on inductions a week before and just said "we don't do the balloon inductions". It is odd that? I hope your checks go well @becarefuloutthere they didn't check me at all at ours. They just checked over Matthew and didn't even ask me how I was or even about contraceptives. I was going in prepared to show my foof stitches and get some bloods taken for my iron levels... that shave was all for nothing 😅 hope little Ruby is doing well.

@Minster2012 34 weeks already! Glad her estimated weight is looking good.

@Lexber getting closer then! Hope it continues to go smoothly with the epidural in. So organised getting the sterilisation plan in place too

sounds like you're bossing it @Lexber not too long until you get to meet those babies!!! :)

@Minster2012 glad to hear the growth scan went well! will be interesting to see if they do push up your section date. Do you mind if they do? And re: breaststroke - they don't recommend any external rotation of your hips/legs when you have pgp as it puts more strain on the pelvis (the osteopath essentially told me I need to keep my legs together, lol).

@paintfairy echoing the others, orgasms cause slight contractions of your uterus you just normally don't feel them (think we're all hyper aware of the goings of our uterus atm). It is normal, but talk to your MW if you're concerned. as for our antenatal classes, I wouldn't say I've learnt loads so far (have done 3 sessions) but some of the people are really nice so hopefully we'll have some parent pals at the end of it!

@2020mission that sounds pretty shit from the team that they didn't fully explain induction risks OR ask you any questions at the 6 week visit. it's already hard for women to speak up when they're struggling so they should really make more of an effort to ensure you're doing well!

@DKDK123 @Kate105 this is something I've mentioned to my DH as I think it's so easy for us to fall into those roles when one person is the primary caregiver. it's tough isn't it. reminds me of a quote I heard that has stuck with me "being a mother isn't easy, if it were, fathers would do it" and how vicious can kids be eh @minster2012!

btw, now googling pram sheets (had honestly never heard of them before!)

@Minster2012 it's so hard when they say things like that isn't it, DS had a meltdown at his Dad going to work this morning banging on the window shouting "Daddy don't go, don't leave me with Mummy!" Had any of our neighbours been awake early enough they'd probably have phoned social services he was making out like was genuinely traumatised and being left with me was the worst thing ever 🙈 10mins after he calmed down he's jumping all over me telling me how much he loves me, kids 🤦‍♀️😂 Your bubs and mine must be roughly the same size (well if the charts are anything to go by), mine was about 6lb but I'm about half a week behind you so will be interesting to see if they do come out similar weights or if the growth charts are rubbish 🤣

@lexber glad to hear you got your crumble and that alls progressing nicely. I'm hoping that by now you've got those little babies snuggled in your arms

@whatwonder I just use moses basket sheets, the carry cot mattress on my pram and the one on my moses basket are the same size so I just bought a few sheets that can do both.

@DKDK123 yeah I have no idea how my pram works either! And although the pram is 2nd hand, the carrycot part was never used and still boxed. I've not looked at it. Pram sheets make sense- i just didn't know they existed! And a whole day of braxton hicks does not really make the sex worth it. 🤣
@Minster2012 yes, as @whatwonder says- the nhs physio basically says legs together for everything. So as not to irritate your pelvis/back. She specifically mentioned swimming too. I suppose if you are lucky enough to have no issues at all, its probably OK to do it in small amounts with no problems. But I get pain from walking never mind opening legs. 🤣
And yeah I reckon the nhs antenatal classes will cover what we need to. I hope. I don't want to waste money, it just seems a shame dh doesn't get to actually go to anything.
@bez91 I randomly am horny this week but mostly I've had no sex drive at all.
@Lexber 🤞 for good progress today!

Joiner here to sort wardrobes. First thing he said was- have the drawers arrived? (I knew nothing about this). We were like no? He said oh I ordered them to here because we were on holiday. Firstly maybe we should have known that. Secondly they haven't turned up anyway and so clearly that's not happening is it? 🤦‍♀️ Every bloody time...... 🤬

@2020mission ooh that does sound worse! I remember thinking how painful the injections were for the stitches and then getting stitched. I took more gas and air then, than I did for pushing 😅
Thank you, can't believe you weren't checked, what a waste of a shave indeed 😂 I hope your iron levels are ok tho, do you feel ok?! She's well thanks! I'm getting her weighed next week, dying to know what she is now as it's been a few weeks since her last one! She can go 5 1/2 hours through the night now so she must be a good weight by now 🤞🏾
@paintfairy ffs how frustrating! So has he gone then?