Due September 2022 (Thread 4)

[IzzyLeigh]

Starting a new one since thread 3 was just about to the limit

@SoOverThisCrap I just saw your post about your previous miscarriages, I'm sorry. How are you doing?

Scan went OK, when I see my baby on the scan I feel so much better.

All good here, scan was good but baby in a difficult position to see so had to do a lot of wiggling.

Can I ask peoples opinions please? I'm considering taking only 8 weeks of maternity leave (post p). Do you think this would be doable or a totally bonkers idea?

I'm trying to figure out a realistic timeframe in my head. Best case scenario is that I could work up until 38 or 39 weeks. Then I could return to work 8 weeks post birth. But I don't want to pressure myself, so I'm open to the possibility of taking a few more weeks off if needed.

Im not sure how breastfeeding/pumping would work as I'm new to all this. But I work too far away from home to nip back during the day. So I will be out of the home for 9.5 hours a day.

I do have some flexibility with work where I could work a shorter day if needed, as well as taking random days off if needed. Could also maybe consider going back just 4 days a weeks to begin with.

My husband works from home so the plan is for him to mind baby. Is that a crazy idea too?

So, does this sound like it could be possible or is it totally bonkers?

@twodice everyone's circumstances are different. 2 months maternity leave may work for you.. I took a year. I wanted a break away from the stress of work so I could focus on being a mum and being with my child as much as I could before I had to go back to work.
Not sure how your husband plans to work from home and mind a baby?
Some people who are very career minded do go back quite soon after baby is born but I definitely wasn't one of those. Career will always be waiting for you.

Forgot to ask @twodice why are you so eager to get back to work? The laws have maternity leave in there for a reason and your work should support you in taking time off.

I'm not sure I could manage 8 weeks - I bled for 6 after and then sleep was horrendous with dd. It all depends really. I don't think you could wfh with a baby though. They do sleep a lot but they also do a lot of crying and need changing/feeding every couple of hours.

@SoOverThisCrap welcome! Fingers crossed for a healthy pregnancy this time around 💕 sorry you had to go through losses before. Hugs.

@twodice everyone is absolutely different! I know of women who went straight back to work and never looked back and they managed just fine. I wouldn't be able to. If it's your first maybe you'll realize after birth that you can't leave your little one alone so quickly (I already know I won't be able to!). Then you won't know how your postpartum recovery will go and how the baby will sleep etc. But it all depends on a person. It's definitely doable.

I've been struggling with headaches since yesterday and I still have to work it's driving me mad 😂 wish I could just take time off work already 😂

@twodice

Can I ask peoples opinions please? I'm considering taking only 8 weeks of maternity leave (post p). Do you think this would be doable or a totally bonkers idea?

I'm trying to figure out a realistic timeframe in my head. Best case scenario is that I could work up until 38 or 39 weeks. Then I could return to work 8 weeks post birth. But I don't want to pressure myself, so I'm open to the possibility of taking a few more weeks off if needed.

Im not sure how breastfeeding/pumping would work as I'm new to all this. But I work too far away from home to nip back during the day. So I will be out of the home for 9.5 hours a day.

I do have some flexibility with work where I could work a shorter day if needed, as well as taking random days off if needed. Could also maybe consider going back just 4 days a weeks to begin with.

My husband works from home so the plan is for him to mind baby. Is that a crazy idea too?

So, does this sound like it could be possible or is it totally bonkers?

Ummmmm.... What are your reasons for wanting to go back so early? And how would your husband work whilst looking after a baby all day? Sorry if I sound judgy I think the main issue would be child care. I'm not sure employers would be happy if they knew he was doing that rather than working x

Scan went well today ladies! Thank you for the well wishes 🥰 measuring at 13+2!
Baby was very active, wriggling about all over the place. Me and hubby are very happy and relieved ❤️

@twodice I'm in the US so mat leave is very different here. Last time I had 3 months (which is considered generous, yay to that lol). This time I work for a tiny company, and I am on a track to a huge C suite level promotion within the next few years. Also I am the only person working in my business line, and when I joined it was a complete disaster, which i had to clean up. I am really hesitant to bring in mat leave cover as by the time I train them, i'll be back, and they could screw up what i've done. Also, my job is often part time right now, but due to work from home the company doesn't know how flexible it is, they think it is very busy. I think I am going to be a complete lunatic and take 2-3 weeks fully off, and then 2-3 months "part time", which is what I do already, and I know that I can manage a few calls/emails around a young baby's nap schedule. Especially in the early days. My husband gets 3 months off, which is new since our last child, and will help a lot. I would say that some people love being stay at home mums, and serious credit to them. It is a job I just couldn't mentally do. Between covid, working remote and living in a new city without a huge social circle, I really wanted to get back to work after 2 months last time. I was ready to talk to real people and do something outside of being a device for milk/screaming solutions. Obviously your situation is very different though if you are traveling to an office. I'd say I pumped with my DD and I prefered the comfort of doing it from home. I would have felt uncomfortable taking 30 mins every 3 hours at work in a weird office pump room. If you could set up a WFH arrangement while you are feeding your child, I would try to do that. Either way, although we plan these things, until your child is there you have no idea what the care situation will truly be. There could be a hospital stay, he/she could have colic, you might have a c section recovery which sets you back further, though hopefully none of the above applies. All we can do for now is theorise and see what really happens, which is so frustrating!

I'll also add that my company is incredibly family friendly and they go out of their way to accomodate any impromptu days off I need for my DD when daycare sends her home for a cold, has to close etc. I am really lucky so far in that I feel very supported that the mat leave timing is my decision to make and it won't be forced by them, which is lovely. The time that this baby is due is at a quiet time for my work too, which makes my plan much more feasible. 2 weeks off full time sounds crazy to most i'm sure, but I think after that, i'd like to do a few hours of work a day, continue to get full pay, and feel "normal" but let's see where things fall out once this one arrives, all being well.

I'm thinking for me I'll take 3 to 4 months. I earn a lot more than my husband so will need to get back as we can't survive on smp

I am planning to take either 1 year or 9 months with DP taking the last 3 as shared parental leave since he earns less. Can only afford this because I have been saving for years though, otherwise I'd have to go back much earlier, probably at about 6 months.

I have no wish to be a SAHM but childcare is so expensive so I'd rather we had as much time off as we can before having to start paying for nursery. I am hoping my mum will have the baby 2 days a week as she has been begging to look after a grandchild for years 😂

I am tempted to do the shared parental leave thing with DP for those last 3 months, but it means he'd get June, July and August! I want the summer off for myself 😂

I'm so happy! Midwife called and NIPT came back low risk 😁

@stimpyyouidiot YESSSS :)

@GlitteryGreen the cost of childcare is crazy, my husband will be working full time almost just to pay for full time childcare. He doesn't want to do shared parental leave but we may, I'm convincing him. I'm so torn really, as I feel I'll have to rush back to work as I earn more. I don't have any family who can look after the baby so I'll need childcare full time.

@carebear99 Yeah I am lucky that my DP put his hand up for it but tbh I am not sure we'll do it as we don't currently have any shared finances so I don't really think it will make that much of a difference to us. I'd just have to give him money instead of using the same funds to support myself.

Yeah we are lucky that I think my mum will be happy to have the baby but I am conscious of not making it too much for her so will still need 3 days childcare at least, which seems like it might be £800+ from what I can gather . Hard to know exactly because no local nurseries publish their fees on their sites, annoyingly.

@stimpyyouidiot great news!

@twodice it really depends on the flexibility of your husband's work, if it's something he can dip in and out of and pick up when you're home then it may be doable. With DD we were at my parents for the first three months and I remember my DD would spend a large chunk of the day crying, my dad would walk around the garden with her just so I could have a ten minute shower. Every baby is different though. We're lucky as I get 6 months paid, and then DH's company pays him 6 months paternity after that, so we've got the first year covered. We kept our childcare vouchers going too, and will up them to the max amount again I think.

@SoOverThisCrap so sorry to hear of your loses, wishing you al the best in this pregnancy. ❤️

@Peauela I'd love to be off work already too! I feel so tired! Our toddler wakes up during night and is really unsettled from around 4am!!! We are just shattered.

@Weddingaug2019 fab news!! We have a super wriggler too!!

When I had my first we were in lockdown. Even though the pay was crap on mat leave, I didn't need any spending money cause everything was shut and we literally only left the house for walks. I know it'll be different this time around! Even a few coffees a week breaks the bank 🥲

@stimpyyouidiot i am super chuffed for you! Al that worry for nothing.

Anyone else got a 16 week scan? Im consultant/midwife led... guess my age at 39 and also likely to have gestational diabetes again.

Hi ladies, I am a new soon to be mumma due Sept 22 as well. 15th Sept is the due date they’ve given so I am 13 weeks tomorrow. I don’t think I have felt anything yet!
Have a private scan booked in 26th (day before Mother’s Day as they aren’t open on a Sunday) to find out the gender, we would love a girl 💕
I was most worried about not paying attention in the scan in case I felt like I was going to wet myself but all was fine
I’ve been reading the threads about water births and people s*ing themselves in labour which I am most petrified for 😂😩 has anyone been in the water for labour but then got out when it’s time to push? Think I’d quite enjoy that

@Carebear99 I am in the same situation of being the breadwinner, but also my husband likes his job, and doesn't want to take 3 months off, I can see that hesitation already. 100% of his salary will cover childcare as we don't have family around to help either.

@ShiningStarz toddlers... urgh. Mine has always been great at sleeping up till this last month. Now she appears beside our bed each night at 3am clutching a book asking for stories. We are trying literally every trick to get her back in bed/staying there. Amazon deliveries daily with new things to try. Last night it was a night light which she is obsessed with:) Hope yours gets better at sleeping. I'm also having a 16 week scan due to age/premie delivery last time. I have it next week. Hope yours goes well!

It's my scan tomorrow. I'm feeling very nervous. My friend is coming as DH still deployed away.

@twodice personally after DS I couldn't have gone back that early. I had a fourth degree tear. Tore uterus. Blood transfusion and three back to back infections in my stitches. Recovery was TOUGH!!!! I was also bleeding heavily pp until around 6 weeks. Was completely washed out and shattered. However I know some people absolutely sail through!! What will your DH employer say about him working and looking after baby? I just can't see how that would work logistically. What type of work does he do?

@stimpyyouidiot

I'm so happy! Midwife called and NIPT came back low risk 😁

I am so relieved for you. I hope you are resting up now!

@Bellebun22 congrats! I started off in the water and got out part way through the pushing phase, I felt all hot and bothered in there, which is why I got out.

@Weddingaug2019 glad the scan went well

@Whatelsecouldibecalled glad you've found someone to go with you