Due June 2022 (thread eight)

[Annabell1]

New Thread.

@Starbeach see if you can go in and have them listen to the babies heart beat just to make sure. Although I will say two days ago I didn’t feel baby and I panicked, the next day they were back to kicking away at me. I have an anterior placenta so I think it’s whatever way they are up/facing makes a difference for me.

@Starbeach I've also had periods of quiet and apparently can be when the baby nestles in and is kicking towards our back rather than front. Mine lasted nearly 3 days and it was so scary but I went in eventually to get heartbeat checked and wish I'd done it sooner. Don't feel like a burden and push to go into triage xx

@Prema112 This is my problem it’s been for the last 2-3 days but I’m not sure if she’s just moved into a position I just can’t feel her like I could before and any movements I think I can feel I’m not sure are not just ones I want to believe I can feel if that makes any sense. I don’t particularly like my midwife at the best of times she acts like a matron but when you raise concerns she dismisses them

My husband got to feel the baby move this morning. 😍

@Starbeach Call your midwife and say "I know I'm not supposed to be counting kicks yet but, I haven't felt my baby move in a while and it's making me very anxious. I can't sleep because of it."

They will see you and they will check the heart and you will feel better.

The problem is that we are all prone to downplaying how we feel once we are confronted with a health care professional but it just isn't worth the risk. Ham it up a little and get checked. We've all come too far now to be leaving things up to chance.

There was another lady on this thread a few weeks ago who pushed for a check up and was seen. (Sorry, I forget who it was!) You just need to talk in terms of how it is affecting your health and be persistent. You and baby do deserve the best care. Call your midwife again. That's a PeeAche order!!!xxx

@Starbeach I'd go get checked better to be safe xx

@Starbeach I do see that you think you are feeling baby a little but I'm telling you to say "I'm not feeling them at all, please check me!"

My movements are very clear now. I would know if they slowed. It doesn't matter to me one jot that a midwife would say they are changeable at this stage. I know my own body and nobody else does. Call your midwife!

Thank you ladies I’m calling her now xx

@Starbeach glad you are ringing! I went to triage for a reassurance heartbeat Tuesday night because I hadn't felt baby move in a day or so and I'm so glad I did. She was fine but the midwives at the hospital said it is always better for us to know they are ok than be panicking about about it. And like @PeeAche says, we know our babies and our bodies the best!

Thank you @fpeg and @EarlGreywithLemon, I'm so unsure about everything as a FTM that I keep getting caught up in what others think rather than sticking to what I think is right for ME and my baby. Pragmatic, calm and adaptive is what I think my birth mantra should be!

Good luck @Starbeach! I hope all is well and you get the reassurance you need.

@DaimDillyDoo your bump is so cute! :)

@RubyRoss thanks for replying, I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels the home environment has a lot to do with how well I’d cope. I’d not heard of the Domino scheme so looked it up - sounds like it’s a scheme used in Ireland? I’ve actually gone down the private midwife route as my local hospital has bad Care ratings and so far I’ve found the hospital appointments a hit and miss experience. If I end up transferring then so be it, but for now I’m just taking each day at a time and preparing myself psychologically more than anything else. We women know our bodies!

@Starbeach good luck speaking to the midwife! Hopefully they will scan you and you can feel reassured soon!

@Starbeach good luck, definitely ring up and see if you can be seen. No point in you worrying all day!

Random question but what does MRC mean?? I’m trying to work out, guessing it is to do with a c section 😂

Hey everyone! Hope you’re all staying safe over there! Even catching up daily I feel behind. Enjoyed your update, @DaimDillyDoo and your bump is so cute!

Also glad about scans that went well! I went to mine yesterday but have to go back because baby was too comfy and curled up.

Just adding my voice to all the nagging, @Starbeach - go and get checked!

Interesting to hear what you all think about birth options. @annie1994 I think it means ‘mothers request caesarean’ so like elective? But I could be wrong!

@mrkb you’re exactly the same as me! Thought I was the only weirdo with the extreme opposites. Ideally I want to go into labour spontaneously, stay at home as long as possible. Minimal intervention at the hospital. Low lights etc. BUT if I go over, I don’t want to be booked in for induction (which they LOVE here in the US) I want to opt for an elective C Section. Is that odd?!

@annie1994 yes MRC is maternal request caesarean. Like an elective, but elective distinguished planned Vs emergency, whereas maternal request is the subset of elective caesareans that are performed because the mother specifically requests one, rather than for another medical reasons like the baby being breech or the placenta covering the cervix.

@PleaseSendNoodles I think I'm like you too. If I could guarantee a safe, calm birth vaginal birth with minimal intervention that is exactly what I would want. It's just that for me the risk of someone going wrong and the impact of that on my mental and physical health makes me hesitant to try for that scenario.

@InvisibleDragon @PleaseSendNoodles that's exactly how I feel!

Yes @annie1994 it's a maternal request c-section. Birthrights website have a good page on it.

I don't know if anyone saw the thread on here yesterday on dream birth v reality but it was striking how many of the comments had 'reality' births that involved severe tears/forceps/EMCS - I would honestly say the majority of their stories were not the stress free no-concern VB that the nhs proclaims is the norm for FTMs. In fact, the only consistent dream v reality seemed to be women who'd had ELCS!

I also made the mistake of watching 'This is going to hurt' on bbc recently though which probably hasn't helped haha - I messaged my mum after to ask if perhaps there wasn't some magical non-invasive option that hadn't yet been discovered like just closing my eyes and wishing her out 😅

@InvisibleDragon oh that makes sense. Thanks for clarifying the difference.

And yes, I think you’re right. It’s all about the unpredictability for me, too.

@mrkb oddly enough I found watching One Born Every Minute before the first birth really helpful. I saw that in the vast vast vast majority of cases the outcome is a healthy mother and baby, which is why really reassuring.
I knew what was what and who was who at the birth and so didn’t get spooked when the registrar came in to talk about our daughter’s heart rate - I knew it happens and it’s generally totally fine. My husband didn’t know and panicked. Also I didn’t panic in theatre. So it turned out surprisingly reassuring and helpful!

So, my great auntie passed away in August 2020. We were closer than you might anticipate for a great-aunt / great-niece relationship (because I'm very close to my grandmother) but still... not especially.

It was a surprise to receive a letter in the post a couple of months ago, which said she'd left me a little lump sum. So... I've been shopping!

Today I received a bundle of Bambino Mios in the post. As well as a sling. I've also bought everything to begin decorating the nursery.

So, has anyone else here got a sling? I feel like such an idiot. I wasn't expecting just a really really long piece of material. 😅 I've been practicing along to YouTube videos and I'm not finding it very easy! I thought I was smarter than this... 😅😅

@EarlGreywithLemon that's a good idea! I've not watched that in years but can imagine a representation of lots of successful births would be the balance I need. Obviously 'This is going to hurt' is all about the 'interesting' stories that the doctor experienced (not going to go into the misogyny of some of it here) rather than centring the women and their experience. After all, a typical birth isn't a 'good' story...

Well ladies, my not so nice midwife wasn’t in so I spoke with a really nice midwife told me to come straight in and she listened to a nice healthy heartbeat and checked me over. Thank you all for earlier for your support! 🥰 I think I was panicking as my regular midwife was so dismissive.

@PeeAche what are the Bambino mios like? I’m looking at getting them my local council gives me money towards them to try save on recycling the real nappy scheme it’s called I don’t know if ever council does it but worth looking into and it doesn’t matter if you don’t claim any benefits it’s not means tested.

Ladies I'm here with another question and this time it's embarrassing!
I have a case of "smelly" downstairs!! I put it down to just excessive discharge last few weeks but my DH noticed the smell and I'm so mortified!! I'm thinking maybe it's BV...
Need to invest in your Panty liners and maybe some antibiotics Is this normal in pregnancy?

@Starbeach So good to hear that everything is well 💕.

I just ordered some cloth nappies as well. Totally unexpected, but I found such a good deal online. 😅 I got the Bumgenius pocket nappies.

Ladies I have a mat leave question. So I informed HR about my pregnancy and they are now asking how long I intend to stay home. I'm thinking of 9 months, but I'm not sure yet. What if I want to go back after 6 for example? Is it better to tell them 6 months and then just extend or should I say 9 straight away?

@MrsTwentyNine I think this is not unusual during pregnancy. I would ask your midwife to take a swab. You could also try Multigyn Actigel gel.