My input comes from lived experience.
My husband is Muslim, I’m not. I was never asked to convert & I never would.
Our eldest child is a girl in early adulthood, then a few boys of primary age & now another small baby girl.
Your DH has married you & not asked conversion of you. Clearly he isn’t ignorant or unreasonable.
He mustn’t be the type to care too much about what his family think if you are his wife.
The ‘what a bastard’ comments are coming from posters prejudice. They’ve got very set preconceived ideas about Muslim men & this is a good opportunity for them to spew their nonsense.
Muslim men & women are not a monolith. They are as varied a people as any other group. No one expects Christian families to behave identically.
There are lots of non Muslim men treating their wives and daughters horrendously. The suggestion that all other men are raging feminists is hilarious and profoundly inaccurate.
Once your daughter is here your Husband will do everything in his power to love & protect her. As will all the other men in the family. Girls & women, from what I have seen for 25 years, are treated with kid gloves. The boys in the family are raised to be responsible for the girls too. If anything I sometimes think they get the raw straw because so much is expected of them versus the girls. My DD can ask anything of any of her cousins & uncles at any time and it’s done. When her brothers are old enough they will have to do whatever she asks. You will likely grow to feel annoyed about the expectations of your son more than your daughter.
There are of course families where wives and daughters are poorly treated but misogynists are everywhere. We all know that.
Covering hair is not oppressive. I know many many Muslim women & girls and none do so under duress. In fact they enjoy wearing the Hijab. There are so many lovely ways to wear one . To me they look beautiful, regal almost. Also, Muslim women are not the only ones to cover their hair but no one dares question anyone else.
OP you are thinking very far ahead on that one because she doesn’t have to wear one as a small child. You may not mind it by the time she’s ready to wear it. Modest dressing also isn’t oppressive. You can’t have a problem with dressing modestly because I assume you dress as such yourself.
A hijab is not a problem just as a kippah for a Jewish boy isn’t. Have a think about why that idea upsets you so much. Would it ruin your idea of your daughter being like you? A definite sign of her being different? They would be valid feelings and ones you could work through.
Marriage is a long long time away. I genuinely do not know a single family who have pushed to get their children married and our friends have children up to late twenties. What will likely happen is your DH will not settle for approving of anything less than a knight on a white horse. Muslim girls are so used to the princess treatment from all the men around them that they really don’t settle. Again this is a very long time away. You are hurting your own feelings thinking about stuff like that now.
Divorce will massively impact your children much much more than them being raised with culture and faith. That’s where you’ll do the damage. You don’t say anything to suggest your DH is a good man so why are you so sure that separation is inevitable. Is there more than you are saying?
I myself come from a mixed raced marriage. Perhaps why I understand how important it is to be raised with a deep understanding of who you are. Even if some of your husbands expectations are based on culture what’s wrong with that? Culture is good. It’s a a great source of pride for most and a grounding feeling to be part of something. I have come to realise that some people envy culture because they have none. They’re quick to ridicule & criticise. The cries of ‘this is so oppressive’ is absolute rubbish. They don’t care about your daughter or Muslim women. They likely don’t even know one. If you had said your husband was a devout Catholic you would definitely have gotten an altogether different response. If you had spoken of a Jewish DH you would have posts likely only from those who understand Judaism & then they’d be respectful but because your DH is muslim it’s a free for all. Be careful of the gaslighting and the faux concern.
Lastly, you are very vulnerable as a pregnant woman. I’m a bit irrational when I’m pregnant. The night before my delivery I sobbed like a toddler about not having the chance to wear a really nice maternity top I’d bought. It’s just a very intense time. In any situation now wouldn’t be the time to consider divorce. Just see how things go.
Wishing you a safe delivery of your lovely daughter