Due June 2022 (thread six)

[MrsNT]

Wow we are on thread 6
Please tag anyone ive missed

I did. I had my blood taken on the 20th and I haven’t received a letter yet. They did say that “no news is good news” - if there was a high chance I would be phoned within 3 days and if not, I would find out in the post within 3 weeks - although the festive period might delay things. Hope this helps.

I had my quad test back after about a week, mine was sent off all the way to Birmingham to get down, too. I had something like 456 in 1 chance which they class as low. :)

@hellointhere I’m definitely considering a home birth! I know how much my environment can effect how I feel and respond to new sensations/pain etc - after being ill last year I leant a lot about the mind/body connection and would much rather use that knowledge to my advantage. I’m low-risk and only 10mins from hospital so hoping I’m in with a chance! However, as a first-timer I’m reluctant to share with friends and family that I want a home birth. I told one couple and the DH said it was reckless and that you should never be away from a hospital for the first time. It’s too contentious so I’m keeping it to myself from now on.

So I’m the only one in my job that deals with the stuff I do, I’ve only just started to now realise my employee my try and cram as much work into me before I go off, which is fine as I’m off for over a year, but I’m also worried at how stressed it may make me, and the further along I get the more tired I’ll feel. 😫 think I’m making myself anxious about something that hasn’t happened yet. Only started happening when I told a few people on a call that I have five months before I’m off, just so I didn’t get projects to cram in the last few months, worried they’ll just find more stuff for me to do. 🙈

@Rolledthedice I can understand you being reluctant to share after that experience, at the end of the day you need to do what is best for you and your baby at the time and know that that may or may not change. So long as you're prepared for all outcomes then you'll minimise the stress (and it's no one else's business!)

@PeeAche I suppose you could ask them what's the evidence base for going straight to epidural, what are the consequences and that you are well within your rights to be assessed as you currently are and not how you were at some past date (which just makes no clinical sense when looking at individual care!). Asking them to evidence base what they want to do may make it easier to reach an amicable solution that you feel happy with!

@Vimto1991 can you talk to your line manager to express your concerns over this? If people do try to give you more than you feel you can handle then ask your line manager to decide what is the most important work and reassign the rest (they'll have to do that anyway in a few months!). Your work have a duty of care to you and stress should absolutely be forming part of your risk assessments and they have to take that seriously!

Feeling for you all with your difficulties! I'm have be an interesting couple of weeks as my planned visits to sites have all been cancelled due to covid problems at them and they are very sweetly informing me to tell me to stay away, so there's my working good news and feel good for the week 😁

@fpeg unfortunately there’s no one else that understands what I do in my job, they are yet to even consider a replacement so I’m starting to feel tense that I’m not even training someone yet. We have a lot of new contracts coming in tail end of my pregnancy, so really hoping by then they understand I can’t do it all myself.
Think I’m just making myself overly anxious before things have even started getting stressful. I’m good at making myself stress at the thought of stress. Seem to find whilst pregnant it’s so much easier 😂 it’s why Christmas Day ended up as a nightmare for me. Not sure if anyone else has found themselves stressed and anxious way more now.

Thanks for the new thread tag @PleaseSendNoodles 💕

Those with ligament pain, My OB advised to pull my knees up to my chest when I sneeze or cough, it stops the tearing painful feel.

@PeeAche you're prob right about stress and tiredness making nausea worse, it makes so much sense. I had some spotting which freaked me out - and felt awfully nauseous and couldn't understand why such bad sickness all of a sudden.

@Vimto1991 I feel you on being jealous on others' mat leave.
My work pays 12 weeks and only after I come back from mat leave. They pay in one chunk so I get taxed like 40%.
And if I leave within 6 months I've to pay it back.

I've worked there for years and it's such a big reputable company that I feel disgusted with their mat leave offering.

Basically have to support myself whilst on mat leave.

@laurenGame ouch! That makes no sense. It seems like they do it to draw you back to work and make you stay, and not to support you as a new mother at all! Always surprises me when it’s bigger companies treating employees like this. I wish we could try and change it. I can’t believe mine offers nothing! We are a medical company with a lot of female staff so I thought I’d get something. Nada. :( government pay for me.

@fpeg thank you - yes I agree it’s best to keep an open mind and make decisions based on what’s happening on the day! It’s hard for me to trust both my body and the NHS since I recently recovered from an illness that was tricky to diagnose and sent me outside the NHS in order to get the right treatment. But I keep reminding myself that giving birth is NOT an illness, it’s a process we were born to do! Currently I’m trying to find a pelvic floor physio so I can work on another issue that could impact (difficult smears and therefore not wanting checks) I’m hoping all the mental prep I do now will help me through, and if I can find a decent doula or private midwife that would really help too. We don’t have family close by and I don’t know anyone in the area so I’d someone there on the day for support. :)

@clueless22 mine was done after the 12 week scan. Took exactly 7 days to get result.

@PeeAche you should absolutely listen to your instincts and advocate for yourself! That’s very frustrating to get denied certain things just because of one risk factor that might not now be an issue! I agree it’s worth asking again in a couple months. Good luck x

@laurenGame that is awful argh. Makes me cross that big companies can still get away with having such crap policies! Is that legal having to give back money if you leave within 6 months, sounds suspect to me.

I'm going to bet that if men got pregnant, the policies would be minimum a year on full pay, probably part time for a year during pregnancy on full pay too!

I'm 6 months full pay and 6 SMP too and I think I'm required to take all my annual leave before I go off on Mat leave. SMP is so bad I'll go back if I can at 6 months. I don't want to, but the difference in monthly income will be unpleasant 😕

@Vimto1991 I actually raised this in a big meeting with hundreds of people (I was that angry).
HP partner said it's because they found 'women wanted more encouragement to return to work' so they decided to pay mat leave (or return to work bonus they call it) only when mums come back to work.
Biggest bull.

@Rolledthedice unfortunately it's all legal - it's a huge international company with 60,000 employees so will all be legally watertight 🤧

HR partner not HP 🤣

@laurenGame @Vimto1991 I'm another one with crappy maternity pay. Started a job in a new NHS trust just before I found out I was pregnant, so don't qualify for their maternity package. Might be eligible for the general NHS maternity allowance, which would be 12 weeks with some pay, or might be statutory from the word go. Waiting until I have my Mat1b form to investigate further as it's a bit depressing. My line manager is also quite new to her role and has never had a pregnant employee before, which is not super helpful.

Two small silver linings:

• I will feel rich when I go back to work, even though we'll be paying hideously costly nursery fees
• there's less of an income disparity between me working and DH on shared parental leave and him working with me on maternity leave, so he's quite keen to take some time at the end of my leave to look after the baby.

@laurenGame Omg yes that is 100% BS! Well done you for trying to fight their terrible policy!

I think you hit the nail on the head there @destiEos 😂 If men got pregnant it would be a whole different ball game entirely.

Thanks @Roxystar23 and @MrsNT I had mine on 29th and was told 7 days if any issue and no news is good news. Not sure if it's working days though 😕 I'm gonna tell myself it's a hospital and they don't tend to close so will hope days and stop fretting x

@Clueless22 also waited about 10 days for mine, had already assumed it was ok by the time it turned up, as I was also told that they would call me within 3 days of there were any problems, otherwise I'd get a letter. Try not to worry

@Clueless22 I waited 2 weeks to get my screening letter back. It’s usually good news if it takes longer but hopefully you get it soon for peace of mind. I ended up calling the midwives who told me it was a low risk result over phone - so you could try that.

I can’t keep up ladies this moves so fast…but jumping on the BOY bandwagon, found out today!!💙

First time mummy xx

@pregnancydiaries congratulations!

@pregnancydiaries congrats on your little boy!!

Congrats @pregnancydiaries 💙 👦 🎉