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Original poster

Baby shower gift list??

70 replies

Rayych26 · 29/12/2021 17:55

I’m expecting our third baby at the end of March and planning a baby shower with my two best friends for the end of feb
After my son was born we didn’t think we would have anymore babies yet 6years later here I am expecting our third 🥰
We got rid of absolutely everything and are having to start all over again, my question is is it too rude to add a gift list within my baby shower invites? The reason I’m considering is because we live in a 3bed we don’t have a nursery so space is a little but limited for us and also there are things in the past which we brought with my other two and never even used, so I would hate for a family member or close friend to waste their money

So is a gift list rude Or sensible?

Have you or anyone you know done this?

Thankyou!!

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WheelieBinPrincess · 29/12/2021 18:54

If you’re capable of buying everything you need for the baby yourself, I’m confused as to why you’d have a gift list. Why not just sort it out yourself and have a nice gathering pre baby.

girlmom21 · 29/12/2021 18:55

@Rayych26

Blimey some of the comments sounds as if I’m asking them directly to buy me something! 😂😂 some of you need to calm down
How are you going to share the gift list without asking people for gifts?
Totalwasteofpaper · 29/12/2021 18:56

@PurpleDaisies

Do not do this. Absolutely beyond grabby.
For third child I agree. Its also really naff...

Also covid?

LakeShoreD · 29/12/2021 18:56

Ohh maybe I misunderstood, if the point is it’s a pre baby get together and you don’t want useless gifts then you’d be much better off saying no presents at all. Calling it a shower and suggesting you make a list is what is making people think you’re being grabby!

bonetiredwithtwins · 29/12/2021 18:56

Baby showers are really naff sorry OP and even more so when it's your third

I also think they are a bit bad luck to have before the baby is born

Bonnealle · 29/12/2021 18:59

Can’t you just tell people you don’t want any gifts?

rosewater20 · 29/12/2021 19:00

People are very sensitive about baby and wedding showers on Mumsnet. I like going to baby showers and I like having a gift list so that I am able to get the mum to be exactly what she needs. I think the best option is to let the host of the shower know if there are specific items that you need or do not need and then let her pass the word on to your friends.

and P.S. I have been to baby showers in America, in London and in Europe and they have all had gift lists and no one was bothered.

meditrina · 29/12/2021 19:02

The purpose for the gathering isn’t for the gifts

Then don't call it a shower.

A shower is a sort of party where the whole point is to 'shower with gifts'. You can have any other type of party if you don't want gifts (see for example the difference between bridal shower and bachelorette party)

toastofthetown · 29/12/2021 19:03

I think the only way that you can make a request for something like like to ask that if people want to bring something, could they bring their favourite book from childhood. I think most would be ok with that kind of request, rather than a list sent out with the invitations. Or if you don't want people buying random crap, just ask for no gifts. Sending out a list for a baby shower does seem presumptive (in the UK in the US this is different), especially when the shower is for your third child! Having an Amazon list for things you want to send to people if they ask is fine though.

Bananarama21 · 29/12/2021 19:20

Bit crass to have a baby shower on your third baby let alone adding a present list. It's not up to your guest to provide baby items for you. Save your money and then get the items yourself, a baby shower isn't planned by yourself but a family member.

TeddyTonksGirlfriend · 29/12/2021 19:22

Definitely rude. Sorry.

SparklingLime · 29/12/2021 19:26

@Rayych26

I mean the people who are commenting, I just simply asked for advice, I don’t need to be told that because it’s my third baby I shouldn’t have one and that I sound ‘grabby’
You asked if your suggestion was “rude” or “sensible”. “Grabby” is just a type of “rude” in this situation. You did ask.
Bananarama21 · 29/12/2021 19:30

Baby showers is a performance event catered to Instagram likes, they are grabby and tacty event which is made worse when women who already have existing children decide to have shower. There a difference to a get to gather with friends and some nibbles and no gift list to a full of in face baby shower event with a gift list.

PurpleDaisies · 29/12/2021 19:30

@Rayych26

I mean the people who are commenting, I just simply asked for advice, I don’t need to be told that because it’s my third baby I shouldn’t have one and that I sound ‘grabby’
The advice was don’t do it because you will look grabby to your friends.
Scirocco · 29/12/2021 19:34

@Rayych26 If you're wanting to have a celebration but you already have lots of baby stuff, why not put a small note on the invitations saying that you don't need any particular items but if people are wanting to do something then they could make a donation to a charity that provides baby supplies to families in need?

There are a lot of families really struggling to provide the basics for their children at the moment, so that could be a way of helping others and encouraging your friends and family to do the same.

gamerchick · 29/12/2021 19:36

If someone asks then it's ok. Don't put a gift list in. It does make you look like you're having a baby shower just to get gifts. Traditionally you don't get presents until the baby is born.

Hyppogriff · 29/12/2021 19:36

Super naff and grabby - very poor taste - especially for a third baby!!!

shellylongbottom · 29/12/2021 19:37

I thought baby showers were more for first children? Don't you pass stuff down (unless there's a big age gap)

dhdislsndh · 29/12/2021 19:38

Very grabby. Only supposed to have a baby shower for first baby. I really hate them, never had one with my DC and never attended one either. Would much rather pop over once baby is born and mum is back on her feet and inviting visitors and bring cake/food and a present for the baby then.

girlmom21 · 29/12/2021 19:38

@shellylongbottom

I thought baby showers were more for first children? Don't you pass stuff down (unless there's a big age gap)
You mean like the large age gap mentioned?
shellylongbottom · 29/12/2021 19:43

You mean like the large age gap mentioned?

Missed it, then, clearly.

Still think it's a bit odd tbh. Its not that interesting for the guests to go to a party for a third child, and bring presents. Better when baby's born IMO.

HadEnoughOfBears · 29/12/2021 21:42

@cinnamonswirll

Rude. My friend passed on a list I'd given her privately for other reasons to everyone she invited to my baby shower and I was mortified. Everything on it was pricey which made it even worse but even if it wasn't I still don't think it's a good move.
I was recently at a baby shower where something similar happened 🙈🙈
HadEnoughOfBears · 29/12/2021 21:42

@osmo18

I put together an Amazon wish list which I strictly used for family and very close friends only! For the rest of the guests I did put on the invite that gifts wasn't at all necessary and we just wanted their company and love more than anything

My friends and family wanted to buy us things we really wanted and that we would find useful rather than the usual gift of clothes...therefore I made a private Amazon wish list with a range of things from £5 upwards such as bath items, cleaning products, swaddles etc and then shared this but only if they asked if we had a wish list

I think this is good
mummabubs · 29/12/2021 21:53

@WheelieBinPrincess

If you’re capable of buying everything you need for the baby yourself, I’m confused as to why you’d have a gift list. Why not just sort it out yourself and have a nice gathering pre baby.
This. With bells on! I think if you're really worried about getting things you don't need then you need to go with the line of saying you don't want gifts at all.
A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 29/12/2021 21:54

Going against the grain, yes my friends have had amazon gift list for their showers. Stops duplicates and getting masses of one thing etc, and the waste. They've said no need to bring a gift, but if you want to, these are things we need. People want to bring gifts, and I've found it really helpful to know what they need and know I'm buying something that will be useful

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