Baby shower gift list??

[Rayych26]

I’m expecting our third baby at the end of March and planning a baby shower with my two best friends for the end of feb
After my son was born we didn’t think we would have anymore babies yet 6years later here I am expecting our third 🥰
We got rid of absolutely everything and are having to start all over again, my question is is it too rude to add a gift list within my baby shower invites? The reason I’m considering is because we live in a 3bed we don’t have a nursery so space is a little but limited for us and also there are things in the past which we brought with my other two and never even used, so I would hate for a family member or close friend to waste their money

So is a gift list rude Or sensible?

Have you or anyone you know done this?

Thankyou!!

It's a bit naff.

As showers should be fairly small, made up of closest friends and family, so the host (which should not be you) should be able to co-ordinate discreetly without the need for a list.

Do remember also that it's not traditional to have showers for each baby - it's meant to be a rite of passage in a woman's life marking the transition to motherhood (not a celebration of each baby)

Also that 'shower-type gift' is a synonym for small/inexpensive/useful

Do not do this. Absolutely beyond grabby.

Horribly entitled.

Personally I'd hate this, but then that's why I never had a baby shower. Honestly I think they're grabby in general and for a third baby I'm not sure many people would consider buying anything beyond some newborn clothing?

I would say if close family or a close friend asked you if there were anything you would like - tell them - otherwise I would not include a list

I hope your baby shower is better then this one

I am joking I hope you will take it as such

I've only been to one and took nappies (this is what was requested if people wanted to take a gift).

I’ve never heard of a baby shower. I had to look it up. Would you expect people to bring gifts at all? After a baby is born I can understand people giving a soft toy or an item of clothing as a gift, but definitely not before. I wouldn’t include a list.

no do not put a gift list - people will either bring a gift to the shower or send a gift when the baby is born, or not bother.

Rude. My friend passed on a list I'd given her privately for other reasons to everyone she invited to my baby shower and I was mortified. Everything on it was pricey which made it even worse but even if it wasn't I still don't think it's a good move.

I thought you only had baby showers (if you have one at all) for the first baby

Baby showers are bad enough without having a gift list as well. Very, very grabby.

It’s rude
Besides the only people you invite should be close enough to you to know your circumstances and buy accordingly.

There is nothing wrong with having a mental list and suggesting items off that IF people ask for ideas though

A baby shower
For a third baby
With a gift list

Oof! You mean well but it doesn't come across well

I wouldn’t add a gift list, people can ask if they want to no. I think especially for a third baby having a gift list does sound a little grabby.

I feel for anyone going because they'll feel obliged to buy three presents! I think I'd be regretfully busy that day.

I think baby showers are naff, I think baby showers for a third child are bordering on a joke, I think a gift list is baby-shower-zilla.

I know you’re asking because you want to do the right thing so don’t want to sound mean, but just no.

I put together an Amazon wish list which I strictly used for family and very close friends only!
For the rest of the guests I did put on the invite that gifts wasn't at all necessary and we just wanted their company and love more than anything

My friends and family wanted to buy us things we really wanted and that we would find useful rather than the usual gift of clothes...therefore I made a private Amazon wish list with a range of things from £5 upwards such as bath items, cleaning products, swaddles etc and then shared this but only if they asked if we had a wish list

Just to add, I know this is my third but it will be my first baby shower, the people I’m inviting are close family & friends - I wanted a baby shower for the memories and for a celebration of our rainbow baby
The purpose for the gathering isn’t for the gifts, I don’t care wether people bring one or not as tbh were capable of buying everything we need for our new baby, we just didn’t want people to go out and buy things which we either already have or don’t need as that’s just a waste of the buyers time and money

I'm happy to go along to baby showers and wish the mum to be well, but I dont buy gifts till the baby arrives. I'd not buy something on a prepared list - but once baby arrives Id ask what you wanted/needed.

Blimey some of the comments sounds as if I’m asking them directly to buy me something! 😂😂 some of you need to calm down

I think I’d send a message to say “really not expected to bring a gift, but if you do please get in touch as there are some things we would love but other things we don’t need”.

How many people?

@Rayych26

Blimey some of the comments sounds as if I’m asking them directly to buy me something! 😂😂 some of you need to calm down

Isnt that what giving a list is for? "Buy me something on this list please"

@Rayych26

Blimey some of the comments sounds as if I’m asking them directly to buy me something! 😂😂 some of you need to calm down

I know. People really, really want to stand in front of someone in stocks and throw tomatoes. Seriously people are so desperate for it on here.

Are you American OP? It’s the norm over there to do a shower and registry but for your first baby only and I’ve certainly never heard of anyone doing it for a second or third. If you’re British then you can’t even think about doing this.

I mean the people who are commenting, I just simply asked for advice, I don’t need to be told that because it’s my third baby I shouldn’t have one and that I sound ‘grabby’