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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

They cant find my baby on my scans!

219 replies

KJE3112 · 13/10/2021 14:30

So. Today i am 8w pregnant (deffinately pregnant as all blood tests confirm. But, i have now had 3 scans, all transvaginal, and they cant find my baby.

They were testing me for ectopic but said with my HCG levels its starting to look unlikely its that.

Im due for another scan at 8w5d and hoping to find someone whos had a similar situation who can give me some hope.

Im really hoping they can find a little heartbeat in there somewhere!

OP posts:
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MadeForThis · 18/10/2021 21:50

Taking your partner is a great idea. He can help to advocate for you. Ultimately it's your decision. If it's safe to wait a couple of weeks you are allowed to just go home.

Could you see if a private company have anyone who can do difficult scans?

PricklesTheHedgehog · 18/10/2021 21:57

Good luck OP. Hope you get some answers soon.

Cruiser123 · 18/10/2021 22:06

Don't let them force you into anything until you have clarity.

TheyWentToSeaInASieve · 18/10/2021 22:16

OP, is there any way you can book a private scan elsewhere? Ten years ago it was £120 in London.

Confusedpapoose · 18/10/2021 22:21

Christ, how awfully up and down for you. I hope you get the answers you need tomorrow and they don’t bully you into making rash decisions!

Itsbeen84yearss · 18/10/2021 22:22

Oh this sounds very upsetting. I hope you get some good news soon op Flowers

latte101 · 18/10/2021 22:25

The hospital have handled this terribly. How distressing & stressful for you. To echo others, don't be rushed in to a termination x

kirinm · 18/10/2021 22:27

@FATEdestiny

Why are they saying termination, rather than miscarriage?
Because the HCG levels are rising and they are trying to end the pregnancy? It's what happens when a pregnancy isn't viable - particularly an ectopic.
EarringsandLipstick · 18/10/2021 22:30

they are trying to end the pregnancy?

However according to OP, there is no evidence, at all, of a pregnancy (no sac, no embryo). So a termination is not possible.

Respectfully, I think OP has not been given clear information and perhaps might be confused on some points. Entirely understandably.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 18/10/2021 22:37

Sorry your going through such a tough time op. I hope you get some answers tomorrow

2Two · 18/10/2021 22:41

So sorry you're going through all this, OP.

My only experience of this was having a missed miscarriage. I had a tiny bit of bleeding but thought nothing of it, went in for a first routine scan and they couldn't find a beating heart. They suggested I might have got my dates wrong, but I knew I hadn't - but I still had to go in for a couple more miserable scans so that they could be absolutely sure. On the first one my uterus had actually grown but there was still no sign of a heartbeat. It was quite a long time ago and they didn't check HCG levels. I ended up having a D&C.

Frazzledd · 18/10/2021 22:42

@EarringsandLipstick

they are trying to end the pregnancy?

However according to OP, there is no evidence, at all, of a pregnancy (no sac, no embryo). So a termination is not possible.

Respectfully, I think OP has not been given clear information and perhaps might be confused on some points. Entirely understandably.

Her HCG levels are 16000, she is pregnant. There are many reasons they might not be able to see anything right now (see pp's).

Op I'm wishing you all the best for tomorrow Flowers

EarringsandLipstick · 18/10/2021 22:47

There are many reasons they might not be able to see anything right now (see pp's).

I have.

However, if there is no sac, no embryo, or any other physical object to see, as OP has said, this is contradictory.

It would seem clear it's a pregnancy of unknown origin. However, by now the scans would have shown that eg an ectopic. Equally an anembryonic pregnancy would show evidence of a pregnancy.

I agree the hospital have been very unclear in their information.

I don't want to distress OP any further so I'll just wish her the best for tomorrow.

Aboutreadytopop · 18/10/2021 22:53

What shocking care, I'm so sorry OP.

Wishing you luck x

Somebodylikeyew · 18/10/2021 23:10

Take a notebook and pen.
Write down each person’s name and what they say. Don’t be afraid to ask them to stop, repeat or spell things. Whatever happens it is important that it is explained clearly to you now. Best of luck x

user1477249785 · 18/10/2021 23:10

OP may I ask why you were initially scanned in the first place? That may have some bearing.

In your position, I'd ask tomorrow why they need to terminate now - what is the risk? And what they think they are going to biopsy given that they say there is no pregnancy.

Good luck

Memyselfandfood · 18/10/2021 23:14

I’m so so sorry op Flowers

Mama1980 · 18/10/2021 23:28

I hope you can get some answer tomorrow. If you can try to write down everything, names, times and exactly what is said.
They cannot force you to do anything and if you're at all unclear demand answers or a second opinion.

Soulstirring · 19/10/2021 02:54

Just wanted to wish you well tomorrow Op. this must be so stressful and confusing 💐

Don’t be pressured into a termination until you are absolutely clear on what’s going on x

L1ttleb1t · 19/10/2021 07:53

Hi OP

Good luck today. I wonder if it might help to use their language when discussing your options?

Tell them you are not able to make a decision until you know what the diagnosis is and what the prognosis is of you chose to terminate Vs if you chose not to.

If they don't have a diagnosis ask them what the range of diagnoses could be and ask them to explain the prognosis for each.

If they can't do that tell them you're not willing to make a treatment decision without knowing the nature of the problem - they need to work out what is going on.

They cannot expect you make a informed decision unless you have both diagnosis and prognosis. If you can't make an informed decision, then you can't possibly give informed consent to a termination.

I hope that helps.

TrampolineForMrKite · 19/10/2021 08:03

This is awful. You’re under no obligation to have a termination. Can you take someone will you to advocate (not that I’m not sure you’re doing brilliantly, but a level headed person who won’t get upset might be useful) and ask to see another doctor? You have every right.

MoreAloneTime · 19/10/2021 08:17

I hope you get some real explanations soon

marajade12 · 19/10/2021 08:19

@Couchbettato

Did you ask about what the damage would be if you waited a few weeks before making a decision?

Personally I think the reason they want you to terminate now is because they can do it the medical route rather than surgical if it's before 9 weeks, so they'd just administer a pessiary and let you pass it naturally.

After 9 weeks you have to go the surgical route, which, if they can't find anything on a scan, might prove difficult because they will need to do a follow up scan to make sure that all the material has been evacuated.

So ultimately I think they're pushing for convenience but also the thing that's going to have the least impact on your body.

Though all procedures should be made with informed consent, and if you have more questions to ask or want to wait more time you're entirely within your right but I would definitely ask questions about whether they believe you're at risk of harm if you wait a few weeks and have another scan.

That’s not accurate about the medical/surgical dates. I had a medical termination at 17 weeks, no surgery involved. It was done with tablets and a pessiary. I was admitted to hospital though for pain management and to make sure bleeding was under control.

Fingers crossed for you op. I’d be asking for a re scan before making the decision to terminate.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 19/10/2021 08:22

I hope you get some clarity soon Flowers

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