I feel guilty about my unborn child’s birthday

[MissChanandlerBong22]

This is ridiculous. But I’m pregnant with my very much wanted second and due in mid-January. And I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant but over time I’ve started to feel so bad about it, as though I’ve done my second child a disservice by giving them a January birthday! I feel as though every time I tell someone when I’m due they make a comment - ‘that’s too close to Christmas’ or ‘January’s a depressing month…’ or something similar.

My first child and I both have mid-summer birthdays. And there are upsides but there are some downsides - being the youngest in your school year is the obvious one. Also you often rely on having nice weather for your birthday and feel cheated when you get a day like today 😂

I know how trivial this is. Like I say, I’m so happy to be pregnant. But people’s comments are getting me down. Can someone help me feel less guilty? Does anyone here have a January birthday and like it?

One of my children has a January birthday and loves it! He's never had comments about it being too close to Christmas, or a depressing month. It's nice to have celebrations in Winter IMO

Seriously! People are arseholes.
I’d have something very uncharitable to say to. whoever commented about my due date no matter what time of year.

On your behalf, they can fuck off. Absolute arseholes.

My DD1 has a late January birthday. I found it really useful in that if I mucked up the Christmas presents and there was something I had missed that she really wanted, she could have it for her birthday!

A birthday is what you make of it. I was due 27 December but was a bit late and arrived in January. I have that week off work and do various nice things with family and friends.
Boyfriend is right before Christmas. kids are summer babies. It’ll be your child’s birthday so you can make it special however you like it’ll not be any less special than your summer babies birthday

My great-uncle and I both have birthdays very close to Christmas (like, a couple of days after/before). It never bothered either of us, apart from when people tried "joint birthday and Christmas present" stuff (that was annoying as a kid). Having a winter birthday meant my friends were more likely to be able to come to parties (not off on summer holidays or going off to the beach with family, for example) and we could do fun winter activities (weather dependent of course!). Winter birthdays are absolutely fine.

My baby is also due mid Jan.

DH is concerned that it will be late and arrive on his birthday (26th Jan) my birthday is 5th Feb.

Sometimes it can be hard to plan things to do for a birthday in Jan as places are closed but as kids we always had parties at home. I think the parents find it depressing but as kids both DH and I were just excited about getting more presents and cake and the possibility of being able to build a snowman on my birthday though I think that has only happened once lol

My niece's birthday is boxing day and she does not seem to get joint presents except from family that live overseas. Her school friends just buy her birthday presents

Definitely don't feel guilty about a Jan birthday

I felt like this about my eldest- her birthday is in July so she’s almost youngest in the school year. Both husband and I are September birthdays and teachers so I put a lot of prominence on this. Also we tried for some time for our eldest, so if I’d fallen pregnant right away she would have had a September birthday too.

But in the end it’s been fine, she’s never had an issue with school and has never struggled and I’ve calmed down about it as time has gone on. Ironically though her younger sibling was born on September 1st despite being due 17th August. I was so chilled about the second one being a late summer birthday and another youngest in the year that it was a shock when she waited around to be the very oldest in the year! But actually she got very bored in the year before starting reception and there’s been no difference in either of their success or otherwise in education.

That was a very long winded way of saying that I think we overthink these things. For the kid it’s just when their birthday is!

Two pros I can think of: 1) middle of the school year, not the oldest or youngest. 2) brighten up a dreary month. Not much else going on so hopefully people are free for birthday parties. Ps I was due mid January but born Just before Christmas, and there's always Christmas parties on my birthday...

My son was born end of January. A lovely way to cheer up the gloomy months.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.
How rude some people are!! No one ever said the same to me.

I'm in a very similar position to you, our second child is due on the 1st of January! It was planned, but we never even considered thd due date as it was our first month trying after a 4 month break so never thought fir once that it would work. I'm feeling a little guilty about it tbh!

I'm due 6th Jan but likely to be induced at 39 weeks due to IVF pregnancy so I have been having these same worries. Ultimately the fact I am carrying a healthy (so far) baby outweighs all of this and I think I'll be able to make it as magical as possible for them
Plus, think of the January sales! Haha

My DC is 31 December birthday - the are always guaranteed a party is how I see it 😄

I'm a Jan baby. It's fine and never bothered me.

Some people are odd about stuff like that though. My first was due on September 11 and I got a lot of comments about it being a shame - obviously arrived late anyway so not an issue but just seemed a weird thing to worry about to me.

This has made me really angry op.
What on earth goes through anyone’s mind that makes it ok to say anything about a baby being born at any time?!!

I can’t wrap my head around it really I can’t. Are these people family/friends?

My son is a Boxing Day Baby. I was seriously questioned by friends why we didn't skip one months when trying to conceive him. It didn't even enter my mind at this time that this woukd bring me right up to Christmas.
He is so loved and of course we try to make his birthdays special.

The January sales means they'll get more presents for the same budget!

Both my DS1 and DH are January. Neither are depressed by it!

People are numpties. Ignore them

DD1 was born the 28th December, she was due 4th January but she decided to be a Christmas baby!

She is going to be 12 this year, and she absolutely LOVES having a Christmas birthday.

If anything we have found people make more of a fuss of her because her birthday is at Christmas, she only has joint presents if she asks for them - this year she’s asked for an iPad for both her birthday and Christmas.

We have had several parties for her on her actual birthday and have found everyone comes, I think some parents have actually been glad of a couple of hours break.

We timed our babies to be born in Autumn, after we read up on the advantage in the school year. I live in the Middle East and suffered hugely from the heat while pregnant. Everyone laughed, quite rightly, at my idiocy. You’ve been smart, especially given the U.K. heat the last few weeks They will be so excited for Winter they may not get affected by other people’s doom and gloom at all. Well done!

I have a January birthday. Downsides are people doing dry January or being on a diet when you are an adult. As a kid it didn't bother me and the sales meant I got some great presents.

My birthday is mid Jan.

As a child I always liked having it to look forward to when everyone else was on a Christmas come down.

It's handy that most of your presents can be bought in the sales too. If I was given birthday money as a teenager, I would get a huge haul of clothes in the January sales.

My friend has a week old baby and has really struggled in our recent heatwave, trying to breastfeed dripping in sweat and worrying about the baby overheating. So there's that too!.

Congratulations by the way. Have fun choosing a really cute snuggly snow suit for your winter baby

I have a January birthday. It’s really fine. I do fun stuff but there isn’t the pressure you have on summer birthdays to have massive parties (unless you want to). Generally people are happy to come and do stuff as long as it isn’t expensive.

My husband's bday is 16 Jan and it's ok, far away enough from Christmas that he gets enough attention but also benefits from a bit of the leftover party vibe. My niece and ex are both 2 Jan and I have to say that is probably one of the worst possible birthdays! But at the same time it's hardly the end of the world.

Some people must have very dull lives indeed if this is what they worry about.

OP January is always special in our house as that’s DC1’s bday. April and November are special too as that’s when DC2, DCat and DC3 have their birthday.

None of these months are better or worse. Although I have on an occasion mentioned to DP we need a summer child in order to complete the seasonal set .

My eldest son has a birthday in January (and mine is February). Because it's cold we've always hired halls for birthday parties, rather than our garden for our youngest son's birthday (July). They both love their parties but enjoy the other's parties too so either way they're happy.

Lol my original due date was Christmas eve so I think it can't get much worse than that (if your culture celebrates Christmas). But seeing how we thought we couldn't conceive, any bit we may have cared about that went out the window a long time ago!

As regards January though, if this helps: I have a birthday just after Christmas myself, and I always LOVED it, because any presents I didn't get at Christmas time I just asked again for my birthday and I nearly always got everything off my wish-list in the end (except maybe that puppy ;) ).