I feel guilty about my unborn child’s birthday

[MissChanandlerBong22]

This is ridiculous. But I’m pregnant with my very much wanted second and due in mid-January. And I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant but over time I’ve started to feel so bad about it, as though I’ve done my second child a disservice by giving them a January birthday! I feel as though every time I tell someone when I’m due they make a comment - ‘that’s too close to Christmas’ or ‘January’s a depressing month…’ or something similar.

My first child and I both have mid-summer birthdays. And there are upsides but there are some downsides - being the youngest in your school year is the obvious one. Also you often rely on having nice weather for your birthday and feel cheated when you get a day like today 😂

I know how trivial this is. Like I say, I’m so happy to be pregnant. But people’s comments are getting me down. Can someone help me feel less guilty? Does anyone here have a January birthday and like it?

@LondonJax

And, forgot to say, there's something lovely about an 'ordinary' January birthday. I remember being little and snuggling up all cosy after birthday parties and, nowadays, we go out for a lovely winter walk, get a take away for the evening, my choice of film, log fire going. It's like Christmas all over again except I don't have to cook!

This sounds so lovely and cosy!

Some people say the oddest and strangest things, all best ignored if they have this oddball mindset.

My second child's Birthday is December 30th. He was due on Christmas Day. Between him and my daughter I had two miscarriages and an ectopic. I couldn't give a shiny shit when his birthday is and will
celebrate it every year because I have a second, healthy child.

My mum's birthday is on boxing day. She said the only thing she didn't like as a child was being given one present for Christmas by relatives and being told "this is for your Christmas and birthday, it's a joint present" and being given birthday presents from her parents wrapped in Christmas paper!

I make sure to wrap her present in very obvious birthday paper with Happy Birthday! all over it for this reason.

A lighthearted suggestion but...Get them into swimming! January is the very best month to have a birthday because you swim in the age group you are on December 31 so those with a December birthday spend almost 12 months ageing up a year at competitions it sounds silly but when they are young or teens it can make a massive difference

My ds was due on the 7th jan but arrived early on 23rd December. I was pretty gutted at the time as thought his bday would be overshadowed by Christmas and no one would really bother for him. Luckily so far that hasn’t been the case, he is still only little though.

What we have decided to do when he is older is give him a present that he can enjoy half way through the year, like on his bday give him tickets to peppa pig world, CBeebies, the zoo etc and change locations according to his age obviously. Then when we go to these places we will treat it like a special day out for him! Fun lunches, treats, money for the gift shop etc. Obviously it’ll be quite a main present so won’t buy him as many toys for example for his bday but he then had Christmas 2 days later so…..

Counting my parents, siblings and nieces/nephews (on my side) there are 21 people. Of those 8 have Jan Birthdays.

They're all just as weird/lovely/normal/happy/sad/successful as the rest of us.

....and why are you feeling guilty? It's hardly a selfish act!

Get some different friends/acqaintances!

Two of my four have January birthdays and have never once moaned about it. Youngest reminds us every year before Christmas that it is almost her birthday, she will be 24 next year! I think that the only issue for me was when I was a SAHM and money was tight after Christmas, but they both got nice presents and home made birthday cakes which I put a lot of love and effort into along with indoor parties.

Bad times to have a baby
December , Christmas
January, depressing no one has money
February, see above plus valentines day
May, half term no one around for birthday parties
June, July, August, lives willow ruined cos youngest in the school year.
Congrats on your pregnancy!

My birthday is in January. I can honestly say I never once thought it was a bad thing. How odd that anyone would think your child would care, and also that they would have such bad manners as to voice those thoughts.

Congratulations on your baby. Forget this nonsense and enjoy this wonderful time.

My 3 year olds bday is christmas day. He finds it wonderful at the moment 😂

I have a birthday in January and if anything, I was always proud to be an Aquarius.. My DS2 was born in January too and honestly, a thought like that has NEVER crossed my mind.

Just ignore the comments. Tell them to stop being negative - it's the last thing a pregnant woman needs!

All the best to you and your winter baby :-)

PS. Also, when it comes to heatwaves in the summer, at least he or she will be a bit older and hopefully keeping them cool will be somewhat less stressful rather than dealing with that when they're a newborn! xx

I'm 5 January and I'm afraid to say I've always hated it! 😆

Of my 8 dc, 1 has a birthday in November, 2 in December and 4 in January. They seem quite happy to have birthdays around Xmas.

Every female in my family, including in laws and myself, are born in December. I am the closest to Christmas by a few days.
After suffering multiple miscarriages I couldn't give a toss that my daughter has a December birthday. Tell people to stick it

My husband and I got married in January. We love having a joyful celebration every year in what used to sometimes feel like a dreary month.

Now your family will also get to add some delight and sparkle to your Januarys!

Try replying "yeah, o asked the doctors about it but they refused to abort on that basis. I guess if my child asks about it at least I'll be able to say o tried"

Do it deadpan.

Two of mine have January birthdays and it’s never been a problem, it’s actually helped now they’re older as if they’ve wanted something a bit beyond what they would normally get for Christmas it becomes joint with their birthday.

Thanks so much for your replies. I really appreciate them and they’ve made me feel a lot better.

To be clear I personally wasn’t remotely bothered by a January birthday - I just very much wanted a baby and it hadn’t even really occurred to me as ‘a thing’ until people’s comments started getting to me. The most recent one was my uncle this afternoon - ‘when’s your due date? Oh dear, that’s far too close to Christmas.’ Another one was last week from a friend who has a tendency to make ‘jellyfish’ comments - ‘Oh January? Such a depressing month… still I’m sure you’ll make the best of it!’ Another person said to me ‘oh they’ll always be on a diet on their birthday!’ I honestly don’t know why people do it.

All sorts of perks of a January birthday here that I’d never thought of! Sale shopping, everyone being around for your birthday (a big problem with my midsummer birthday as a kid), something to look forward to after Christmas, not having to deal with a newborn in the heat (not a fun part of having a summer baby last time).

And a due date is only a due date. My parents carefully conceived me to arrive in September to be the oldest in the school year. I put paid to the those plans by rocking up 2.5 months early - after several weeks in special care I think they were just glad to take me home at all. I’m obviously not wishing for a premature baby, just saying that getting hung up on my child’s birth month before it’s even here is counting chickens!

I have a DC with a late January birthday and it's honestly never been an issue. I suppose I'm lucky in that most family and friends will have been paid again after Christmas by the time DCs birthday rolls around though.

My birthday is three days after Christmas, now that is a shitty time to be born. No friends ever around for parties as a child as they were all spending time away with family etc and crap regifted Christmas shite or sale gifts as presents.

Please don't feel guilty, a birth and birthday is always something to be celebrated whenever it happens.

Mid-January is perfect. Something to look forward to after Christmas.

My sister's birthday is New Year's Eve. That totally sucks. There's always a party, it's never about her and it's impossible to get all of her friends in one place. She also gets a lot of joint Xmas/bday presents, which is ridiculous...no one would do that for a January birthday!

You’re not alone in this OP. And I do think it’s personal preference of firstly the parents, and then the child as they grow to understand what it means for them as they get older.

My DD is 18 months now and she’s born on New Year’s Eve. It makes me genuinely quite teary to know that if we throw her a party the majority of people will be busy with NYE plans, and presents are so close together and lots of ‘this is birthday and Christmas joint present’ breaks my heart.

Her foest birthday was last year and although it was celebrated ok (covid didn’t help) - were now into July and there’s been families birthdays where they’ve been opening presents and DD wants to get involved so much, she loves opening Daddy’s father days presents. It’s made me really contemplate celebrating ‘small’ on her actual birthday, and doing a big celebrate on her half birthday in the summer, probably June. So she’s not having the two most exciting times of her life just days apart.

So yes, I know how you feel. It is difficult; but like I said above- if it really bothers you; you can choose the celebrate a ‘half birthday’ instead.

I think January is a great time for a birthday (I'm not but beginning of Feb). Everyone's usually a bit down after all the Xmas excitement so its good to have something to look forward to. And as others have said, you can save a fortune on pressies in the January sales

A January birthday is brilliant because you will never be tempted to hire outside stuff like a bouncy castle, and then cross your fingers like mad for the weather