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Original poster

I feel guilty about my unborn child’s birthday

146 replies

MissChanandlerBong22 · 25/07/2021 17:59

This is ridiculous. But I’m pregnant with my very much wanted second and due in mid-January. And I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant but over time I’ve started to feel so bad about it, as though I’ve done my second child a disservice by giving them a January birthday! I feel as though every time I tell someone when I’m due they make a comment - ‘that’s too close to Christmas’ or ‘January’s a depressing month…’ or something similar.

My first child and I both have mid-summer birthdays. And there are upsides but there are some downsides - being the youngest in your school year is the obvious one. Also you often rely on having nice weather for your birthday and feel cheated when you get a day like today 😂

I know how trivial this is. Like I say, I’m so happy to be pregnant. But people’s comments are getting me down. Can someone help me feel less guilty? Does anyone here have a January birthday and like it?

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Original poster
MissChanandlerBong22 · 25/07/2021 20:18

But I have yet to hear any negative comments - that would be so rude and, frankly, hurtful that someone would see anything but positivity in our happy news.

I know! I honestly find it bizarre - I’ve never said or even thought anything about another person’s due date other than ‘how lovely, congratulations’.

OP posts:
eternalopt · 25/07/2021 20:21

My son is January and it's fab - no one is away for his birthday and he gets wicked presents picked up in the sales

Original poster
MissChanandlerBong22 · 25/07/2021 20:22

Lovely to have a cosy January baby - congratulations. The Christmas before is so exciting and then you get to spend their first weeks warm and cosy with no expectation to go anywhere and not feeling like you are missing out. Then by the time the warmer months come your baby is sitting up in their pram and you can enjoy summer and by their first Christmas they are possibly walking and taking it all in. Sounds lovely to me!

All excellent points that I hadn’t thought of!

OP posts:
FindYourPorpoise · 25/07/2021 20:22

If you had waited a month, it'd be a different baby!

PepeSilviaDoesNotExist · 25/07/2021 20:31

I know everyone’s made lots of great points already but I was born two weeks after Christmas and I always had great birthdays. Everyone always came to my parties as parents were desperate for a break after Christmas Grin. I remember one year asking my mum if I could have a slip and slide party in the garden, she said no and we went bowling instead 🤣

As a teen dry January used to piss me off though Grin

Eden1990 · 25/07/2021 20:34

My 6yr old daughter has an early Jan birthday and she loves that she gets more presents not long after Christmas. We usually just do something indoors like indoor play area parties. I would ignore what other people are saying.

BiddyPop · 25/07/2021 20:38

Be thankful it's mid January and not the last days of December - after Christmas so either lots of joint birthday/Christmas presents or lots bought in sales and battered, but also the arse end of the year for qualification for anything- so almost a whole year younger than some and generally at least 6 months younger than most they would be competing with for places in teams etc - usually the older ones are stronger and taller having had an extra summer behind them....

BiddyPop · 25/07/2021 20:39

But it is also a nice excuse for dd to have a half birthday as her party in the summer if she wants outdoor activities.

And more people generally do remember her birthday, even if joint presents, or sometimes there are related items for the 2 which might not work out if there was a bigger gap.

FlatteredFool · 25/07/2021 20:42

I have 3 winter dc. One for each winter month. It makes winter much better as there's something each month to look forward to and winter never feels miserable. They weren't planned that way though.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 25/07/2021 20:44

I love January! The start of a new year of possibilities, we've passed the shortest day and the days are getting a little bit longer every day, snowdrops and crocus can be glimpsed starting to pop through the soil - January is like Spring for me! It would never occur to me to make comment on a baby due month but if asked, January would be all positive from me - a new year and a new baby, all exciting stuff.

MissCrowley · 25/07/2021 20:46

My birthday is 2nd January. Can honestly say I don't hold a grudge against my mother for it.
As a matter of fact I'm getting a second birthday (like the queen!) which is happening at the beginning of August so that we can do something. As I never really get to do anything for my birthday.

Chunkymenrock · 25/07/2021 20:47

Absolutely no problem. My own birthday is 21st December and that's never been a problem at all. You're worrying about nothing.

Quietcrown · 25/07/2021 20:53

Me, DP and our youngest are all December and January birthdays. None of us are bothered. Just make sure people don't try joint Xmas and birthday presents when they are little. By my teens I was quite happy to combine them to get a more expensive present from the sales!

MargosKaftan · 25/07/2021 20:56

As a child its not a problem at all, other parents will be glad to have a way to entertain their dc on one of those miserable weekends, so parties will be well attended.

I have a friend who's birthday is January 23rd and struggle as a younger woman to get friends to come out, so close to the January pay day, everyone was skint. As she's got older and wants to go out for dinner with her dh, babysitters are easy to find, and there's always tables available in restaurants.

olidora63 · 25/07/2021 20:56

My son has late January birthday. Great for present shopping in sales the excitement and anticipation of snow on his birthday…has happened a lot . Congratulations and enjoy.X

Xmasbaby11 · 25/07/2021 20:58

My dd both have January birthdays, 13 days apart. It's fine! It makes Jan a bright and happy month for us.

SpacePug · 25/07/2021 20:59

I can't believe people would say that! I have 2DC, mid Dec and mid Jan birthdays, the only comments I got were 'ooh Christmas will be expensive for you'
I just laughed along. I don't think a January birthday is anything to be sad about. Plus baby may be late and have a feb birthday

Keepmekeeping · 25/07/2021 21:01

I have 2 in the first week in Feb and 1 the end of August my August baby gets lumped with a garden party every year the other 2 have had much more fun parties since we need to be more creative.

JudesBiggestFan · 25/07/2021 21:04

My middle son was born on 15 January. It can be a difficult time for a birthday...no-one's been paid since Christmas, always terrible weather and of course last year in full lockdown. But he's never complained/minded...I think these things bother us more than them. We always make it special for him anyway! And he's an utter joy...which I put down to him being a calm, practical Capricorn. So it's not all bad!Smile

Chelyanne · 25/07/2021 21:09

Our eldest 2 have birthdays within a week of Christmas. It's a bit of a nightmare if you want to give them a birthday party because people book stuff so far in advance but other than that not really an issue. Younger of the 2 always gets his birthday off school as it's so close the older one finishes before her's some years.

HalzTangz · 25/07/2021 21:10

@MissChanandlerBong22

This is ridiculous. But I’m pregnant with my very much wanted second and due in mid-January. And I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant but over time I’ve started to feel so bad about it, as though I’ve done my second child a disservice by giving them a January birthday! I feel as though every time I tell someone when I’m due they make a comment - ‘that’s too close to Christmas’ or ‘January’s a depressing month…’ or something similar.

My first child and I both have mid-summer birthdays. And there are upsides but there are some downsides - being the youngest in your school year is the obvious one. Also you often rely on having nice weather for your birthday and feel cheated when you get a day like today 😂

I know how trivial this is. Like I say, I’m so happy to be pregnant. But people’s comments are getting me down. Can someone help me feel less guilty? Does anyone here have a January birthday and like it?

My daughter's birthday is in January, never had anyone make comments about it, we always found indoor venues for parties with no issues
CathyorClaire · 25/07/2021 21:14

Early Jan birthday and it's literally never bothered me.

Just make sure no-one thinks it's OK to combine Xmas and birthday presents and don't do what DM did and leave stale decs up as a gesture.

Congrats. January babies are the best Grin #notbiased

Muma1992 · 25/07/2021 21:16

My little girl is a January baby. Means we can get her double the amount of birthday presents in the Jan sales after Christmas Smile

frazzledfragglefromfragglerock · 25/07/2021 21:21

My kids are all December/January born. We love it! It's expensive but a lovely time of year with lots of celebration! The only downside is we can't have a garden party lol

JumperooSue · 25/07/2021 21:23

I had a Christmas Eve baby, she was born just after 6pm so really couldn’t be much closer to Christmas if she’d tried! I was due mid December and I had a feeling she’d be born at Christmas and it was just SO magical, despite the whole
pregnancy people constantly told me i must get her out before Christmas as it’s a crap time to be born, as if I had any control! I finder it weirder that people would plan to conceive with certains dates in mind, don’t overthink it OP! Newborn snuggles in the winter under the blanket on the sofa are the best