I feel guilty about my unborn child’s birthday

[MissChanandlerBong22]

This is ridiculous. But I’m pregnant with my very much wanted second and due in mid-January. And I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant but over time I’ve started to feel so bad about it, as though I’ve done my second child a disservice by giving them a January birthday! I feel as though every time I tell someone when I’m due they make a comment - ‘that’s too close to Christmas’ or ‘January’s a depressing month…’ or something similar.

My first child and I both have mid-summer birthdays. And there are upsides but there are some downsides - being the youngest in your school year is the obvious one. Also you often rely on having nice weather for your birthday and feel cheated when you get a day like today 😂

I know how trivial this is. Like I say, I’m so happy to be pregnant. But people’s comments are getting me down. Can someone help me feel less guilty? Does anyone here have a January birthday and like it?

Do people really talk such shit? DD1 has a mid January birthday. No one has ever suggested it is a negative thing.
I did have another parent feel sorry for DD2 having a late August birthday. She was a teacher though.

My husband and I both have January birthdays and it's shit, to be honest. It's always cold, usually raining, and no I've ever wants to go out because they overdid it over Christmas and have no money plus it's cold and raining. And you have to go all year with nothing to look forward to. I made sure my children have summer birthdays as a result.

Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear.

You have to go all year with nothing to look forward to

Well that's rather dramatic isn't it? It's just a birthday, there are plenty of other events in the year to look forward to aren't there? I think you and your husband should stop moping and treat yourselves at other times of the year.

@zurala

Thanks for posting 😂

My husband, my mum and my FIL all have January birthdays.
Therefore taking away the depressing side of January- we have so much to look forward to and celebrate. That's the way I like to look at it.

Enjoy your new baby and ignore those who say mean things.

@TheLovleyChebbyMcGee Same due date as me!!

I'm currently pregnant with our 3rd child who's due on January 1st.
Although very much planned, we weren't expecting to conceive so quickly.
Everyone who asks when our due date is, will make some passing negative comment about having a Christmas baby.
In a perfect world I'd like to avoid the week around Christmas and also new years eve/day.
Although I know its completely out of my control, it is one of those things that I worry over.

I have to say though, I've read a few comments on previous threads from people who have birthdays in December and January, and I haven't read a single negative comment from them. I do think its something we feel guilt over, but in reality it's actually a really magical time of year to have a birthday. Also..think of all those January sale bargains you can get for their birthday every year.

It's just a really long stretch without something to look forward to, made doubly worse because no one wanted to celebrate our birthdays. People are just skint and over going out in January. I've thought about having an official birthday in a better month!

Sorry that was a reply to Smiley but the quote didn't work

My birthday is in January and I love being a January birthday. It makes January special for me. Having been TTC unsuccessfully for 2 years I would take any birth month and be grateful at this point.

My nephew is January and my dd early February. It's actually nice as it's something happy after the Christmas lul!

Dc4 is due in November, I think that's worse as right before Christmas 😩

And, January sales are very handy for presents x

My birthday is right at the start of February. It's always been fine - it's something to look forward to in the post-Christmas slump, and a few times I've had snow on my birthday (including my 40th, which I spent sledging).

January is a great time for birthdays. No January blues, because your birthday is coming up! Plus everyone always comes to your birthday party, because what else are they doing on a random January Saturday? Gets to be a bit of an issue when you are older and everyone is skint or doing dry January, but as a kid it isn’t an issue at all.

I would hate an August birthday - youngest in the year, and everyone’s on holiday so far harder to organise parties.

I’m due January and haven’t had one negative comment - who are these strange people putting a downer on your baby’s birth?!

My partner is mid - Jan and loves his birthday. I am early Feb and as a kid never remember being annoyed at how close it was to Christmas, I just loved getting presents/cake/a party! It’s more of a pain for the parent having to organise in a month where everyone is tired and poor - but the kid won’t care a bit.

I also liked that I was born in the middle of the school year - not the oldest but not the youngest.

OP I'm angry on your behalf that people have made those comments to you! I have a January birthday, my little boy has a January birthday and I'm now expecting a little girl who will also have a January birthday! Just means I have to plan ahead for an expensive month! January is a nice spot in the school year they're not youngest or oldest in their class so no worries about struggling when they start school and birthdays give you something to celebrate in the post Christmas slump 🙂

Well after xmas day they say January is the worst month... reasons:

• its cold/wet/snowy/dark so no free parties in the park/garden
• nothings open (off season)
• things that are open are expesive/limited and either close early or are only set days people are broke (bad in adult years, good in child years see below*)
• people have traditions so might be away/busy (this also happens in July/August and every holiday too though)
• you have to wait all year for another celebration
• a few assholes try to combine xmas and birthday (these people suck - we have only encountered 1 though in 13 years)

BUT its not the worst thing in the world, My DS is a new year baby and the pros are:

• after xmas sales for gifts means you can get loads more for cheaper
• because people are broke they are often happy to send kids to a free party so big turnouts (my DS local parties have had nearly 100% attendce of invited guests)
• no worrying for weeks about plan be if rain happens at your outdoor party lol
• for us at the begining of January we can make a whole week out of xmas to new year/birthday celebrations

Really my DS doesnt seem to mind his January birthday and I had a lot of similar 'bad' issues with my birthdays growing up as my birthday is also a holiday but closer to the middle of the year - I think you could find faults with any time of year if you look.

Ah thanks all. I’m over it now - I was feeling terrible because of a few nasty comments but now I’m back to feeling happy and excited. Assuming all goes well there will be almost exactly 2.5 years between my son and the new baby which is the age gap I really wanted so I feel incredibly lucky.

It’s funny, if anything I should feel guilty about my son’s birthday - birthday in midsummer, I’ve given him a well-documented disadvantage that will persist throughout his school career and afterwards. But I don’t feel remotely guilty about that yet felt bad about having a January baby because of the weather 😂 how did I work that one out?!

Thank you all so much for your nice comments ☺️

Another bonus: in some competitive sports, children are grouped by year of birth. So your child will ha d a huge advantage over a child born in December of the same year.

Disclaimer- this never remotely concerned me, but a friend who was ultra competitive about her children pointed it out!

January is the month most teachers try to have their babies.

It's an excellent month. Your child will be challenged just right at school, not too old to be ahead and bored, not to young and be struggling to keep up.

I'd say perfect month be be expecting!

One of my best friends has her birthday on Christmas Day! She’s one of 5 as well so always felt she must hate it and not get as much attention but she doesn’t mind at all, in fact actually loves it because she always gets to see family. I wouldn’t listen to other people’s miserable comments about “bad birth dates”. It’s always going to be a special day for your child, you and your family and that’s all that matters.

My daughter was born Christmas day she was suppose to be January but decided she had other ideas that day

She's 9 now and loves it, she never feels forgotten or left out
We always make it special , I have to start planning in August as she's 1 of 4 but I wouldn't change it for anything
And she especially loves the sales with her birthday money

I was born in December and I would always have a winter wonderland themed birthday. I loved it! Honestly I understand worrying about every little thing but it's totally fine :)