I feel guilty about my unborn child’s birthday

[MissChanandlerBong22]

This is ridiculous. But I’m pregnant with my very much wanted second and due in mid-January. And I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant but over time I’ve started to feel so bad about it, as though I’ve done my second child a disservice by giving them a January birthday! I feel as though every time I tell someone when I’m due they make a comment - ‘that’s too close to Christmas’ or ‘January’s a depressing month…’ or something similar.

My first child and I both have mid-summer birthdays. And there are upsides but there are some downsides - being the youngest in your school year is the obvious one. Also you often rely on having nice weather for your birthday and feel cheated when you get a day like today 😂

I know how trivial this is. Like I say, I’m so happy to be pregnant. But people’s comments are getting me down. Can someone help me feel less guilty? Does anyone here have a January birthday and like it?

1. I’d love an occasion to perk up January!

2. 100% of the jan-borns I know are lovely and liked by everyone

3. the weather is great - cosy, snow, rain. I am a Nov born which is nice but snow always comes after Xmas!

Oh but winter birthdays are the best ! I was born on new year's eve and love it. It means I often get to celebrate my birthday with family members whom I otherwise don't see often as we live in different countries. And they never made me feel shortchanged on the birthday presents. And it's a special date that no one forgets !

Plus I love snow and snowy birthdays, and I love having one of those special Christmas cakes for my birthday cake.

I would have liked my kids to have november/december/january birthdays but have had to get resigned to the fact that they arrived in october and may respectively.

Birthdays are what you make them. August birthdays can be a bit rubbish when you're at school/older because people are away. Term time birthdays are often fun for older school age kids. I think the only birthday I would truly feel bad for someone about is Christmas Day, but even then if you're family make an effort it can be ok.

I'm not really from a family which makes a fuss about birthdays at all after you're about 18 so it's not something I would have worried about at all when conceiving. In fact I would have actively tried to avoid a summer baby (although you take em when you can) because I'm a teacher and I know the (possible) struggles for summer born children when they start school.

Ive had winter babies and it's nice - no pressure to leave the house much at the beginning. When you're ready to be out and about more it coincides with the better weather. As PP mentioned no sweating away heavily pregnant or with a newborn. There are many positives to take.

I remember having a friend at primary school who had a "summer birthday" because her birthday was just after Christmas.

I was incensed actually- two birthdays like the queen! And quite envious. In reality, I think she was just given a present for her garden in the summer and had a little party with her friends then. This was the early eighties when parties were modest affairs; a few games in her house and birthday tea on a picnic blanket in the garden.

If they say something stupid ask them what they think you should do about it now .

"Oh no! We should have asked you when we should have conceived! I'm so sorry! What a faux pas, we just didn't think, we just bonked away without any thought to your feelings on the future babies birth month.....!".

I think that it is lovely that your family will have something to celebrate during the "post-Christmas let-down" period! Something smaller, more personal to ease you out of the big Holiday hullaballoo!

^^ baby's

My birthday is the beginning of January and my daughter's is mid January. Honestly, it's never bothered me at all. Means all my daughter's birthday shopping is done with the Christmas shopping so no stress that I haven't got xy and z, and it's nice to have something to celebrate when the hype of Christmas has died down and everyone's feeling a bit meh.

Just thought of something else, DD1 loves that she never has to go to school on her birthday and lots of extended family are around as they don’t have to work. DD2 with her April birthday sometimes gets the Easter holidays but not guaranteed.

DD is towards end of January. Its a great time post Christmas when the weather is often foul and there is a long stretch to Easter. To have the opportunity to get family and friends together and avoid seasonal blues is great.

People also don't tend to have as many January plans in the same way we find with family summer birthdays when you're juggling holidays/ weddings/ other events.

Agree with PP about being able to get that must have Christmas gift - that the remembered on Christmas Eve. Plus January sales tend to mean more presents.

My husband is Christmas day and my son is boxing day honestly haven't given when their birthday is a second thought, no one minds

I totally understand how you feel. I deliberately didn’t start trying for a baby to avoid an October-January birthday. My bday is six days before Christmas and my Mother’s is in January so knew how bad bdays during these months are.

Got pregnant a lot quicker than expected and due in February lol.

My dh has mid January birthday and it's always great, everyone is ready for an excuse to brighten up an otherwise dull month.
Mid December is worse as every birthday party becomes a Xmas party.

Honestly, next time someone says something, I would say 'Really, is that what comes to mind for you? I'm just thrilled to be having another child'. Accompanied by a hard stare.

You've said this child is your much loved and wanted second child. That didn't happen for me - I'm still luckier than many with my only, who was born in January, but I'd take a second also born in January without thinking twice. Plus whatever you've ordered for them for Christmas that arrives late can easily become a birthday present instead

My son and I both have Christmas birthdays. Not actually Christmas day but close enough. You get on with it because you know no different.

Personally, I think a January birthday will be just fine. January is such a depressing month. How nice to have a reason to celebrate at least one day of it.

You are seriously overthinking this, but blame it on the hormones!
I'm a July Birthday, DC1 is mid January and DC2 mid August. DC1 has always had great birthdays. He's 16 and this year was the only one he has never had a party for because of lockdown. Its definitely far enough away from xmas to feel special and all about him. He has always had parties throughout primary school and at secondary it was laser quest, bowling, meals with friends, cinema etc and he always had a fantastic time. And when they are younger you can save a fortune on gifts as you can buy stuff in the sales!
I feel more sorry for DC2. Youngest in the year, people are usually on holiday when its their birthday, they definitely have missed out more. January is a fab month to have a birthday!

My DD s bday is 23rd December and her brothers is 14th December
It’s never been an issue at all
Chill

January birthdays are great, I always got more presents than my siblings because the January sales helped! You are overthinking it!

Just remember your baby had a once in eternity chance to be here and this was their one shot! They'll be fine with a January birthday just like I was/am, friends have never let me down, they all know when it is! It's much better to exist than to worry about a January birthday 😘

I'm a January baby! Brilliant time of the year. I've had a 'big' surprise birthday party and one when I turned 21 organised by mum and dad. Everyone came as no-one was on holiday, everyone wanted cheering up, no football on the TV (which stopped a few members of the family attending my sister's surprise 50th birthday party one summer).

And, a group of us January born working in different departments at one job, decided to have a party. We'd been told it was a boring time of the year so we organised a Capricorn birthday party in a wine bar. I came out at 1am on my actual birthday with snow on the ground and the London sky fluttering with flakes. Magical.

I also spent one birthday in Australia, my first hot birthday!

Birthdays are what you make of them!

And, forgot to say, there's something lovely about an 'ordinary' January birthday. I remember being little and snuggling up all cosy after birthday parties and, nowadays, we go out for a lovely winter walk, get a take away for the evening, my choice of film, log fire going. It's like Christmas all over again except I don't have to cook!

I have a January - tbh it is a miserable month and too close to Xmas but I've never had an issue with it at all. If your baby didn't have a jan birthday she wouldn't be born because that egg will have disappeared so that was the only birthday she could ever have had

I think it's fine.

My DN is a couple of days before Christmas and I've seen on here a few times how people don't really treat it as a birthday and can end up with less. I think that's a really shitty thing to do and don't understand how you couldn't treat their birthday as their birthday because it's so close to Christmas.

I think January is a nice time. Gives you something to look forward to after the Christmas/New Year rush.