October 2021 - part 2

[Kona84]

@happyVibsxo
@raggeo
@notagrownup
@cpr12
@morningsnowflake
@jellybean13419
@pixiedust21
@poodlepip
@Jl2020
@jessica86shropshire
@drumstick1223

I added anyone from the last page of comments please tag others

@lilomum I'm in exactly the same position. I have a senior level role at a tech start up and am dreading having to tell the CEO as I know the impact it will have on the business. Will also be weird hiring in my own cover / transfiguring the team.

@lilomum I still haven't told my employer yet as also worried to tell them but I have decided to do it next week as would rather give them plenty of notice x

I agree @Jl2020, I would rather tell them as soon as possible. @Jessica86Shropshire, very similar position to me. I just feel so guilty already for the difficulties I'm causing in my company, worried I'd lose what I've built over all those years, guilty for feeling like this about 'just a job' when I have this amazing baby coming along, guilty for considering a short mat leave because I love my job and career so much, guilty for even considering leaving my precious baby in other people's care after just six months and it just goes on and on. Maybe it all becomes much clearer when that tiny human is hear but right now I'm just absolutely stressing out about any and all options.

@lilomum I am feeling exactly like you! Was set on 6 months then spoke with my mentor who has 2 kids and is another VP at a larger scale tech firm and she said 6 months is when they start to really interact and it's an amazing development stage and she recommended I take the year and then make it shorter if I need to so I'm now rethinking doing only 6 months. Saving holiday either way so when I return I can do 3 day weeks for 3 months.

Will tell work after 20 week scan but I also want to know how long I'll want to take and propose the team configuration whilst I'm off.

I would definitely tell your employers sooner rather than later, I know it's really difficult and you feel like you're letting the side down but they can't discriminate and they need to put risk assessments in place for you. X

As above, I told my boss at 5 weeks haha! But we are very close. The sooner they know the more time to plan who will come in or how you leaving will be managed. I also couldnt have managed to take all the time off I have needed so far as I have had so many appointments! Good luck telling them!

I am taking a year and saving holidays to hopefully manage to be off until jan 2023, with a short unpaid period! Dont intend on finishing until the day I go into labour though as working from home makes this possible! Dont feel guilty about any choices though. No answer is right or wrong! But do agree babies get way more fun at 6months!

I also work from home so I will work right up until I give birth and I don't think I will take a year off purely because I won't be able to afford to, I didn't realise how little maternity pay actually is! X

Also working up until the birth, made easier by planning an elective c-section.

Is anyone else going looking at / booked the Lindo or Portland etc?

I told my employer at 4 weeks lol, but i work in a school so I had to for risk assessments and COVID. As you many of you cover is difficult so I also wanted to give plenty of notice and they will advertise as soon as I give them the go ahead after the scan tomorrow (finallyyyy).

I am a very anxious person so was so worried people would be annoyed at me etc. but they have been so supportive and concerned. It has been great because they now don't expect me to carry stacks of books and we can plan for next year well in advance which really helps sort everything through! Your employer can't tell others until you want so you can also tell your boss but express you aren't ready to make it public just yet if that worries you.

I am not sure when to stop working, i doubt I will be able to wander up and down the school with thousands of pupils everywhere at nearly full term. Do we think the 28 weeks rule will be gone by then? As if not, i could work from home then and work until birth..

Just wondering did anyone have to go back for a second scan after dating scan for a repeat evaluation for fetal anatomy survey? Or have any idea what that means? I was told to come back in two weeks because she is thorough but looking on my notes that what she has wrote and I just don't know what it means xx

@jl2020 I cant help, but personally I would phone your midwife tomorrow and ask her to explain. It seems very vague. I am sure it just means baby was not in the best position to see everything though.

I told my work at 5 weeks. I am really close to a number of staff including my boss so it would have felt weird not to tell them! But I also told my family the day I found out, so not really keeping anything secret this time haha!

@Cpr12 yes I think I will give her a call and ask her. I was thinking maybe it's because I was 11 weeks 6 days there was some measurements she couldn't quite get but then she didn't mention it she just said everything looked good including the nuchal measurement so I have no idea. But I just don't want to be worrying about something that might not need worrying about! I rang up to book the scan today anyway and they said they have no appointment for 5 weeks so will have to wait and see if anything becomes available 🙄

@Jl2020

Just wondering did anyone have to go back for a second scan after dating scan for a repeat evaluation for fetal anatomy survey? Or have any idea what that means? I was told to come back in two weeks because she is thorough but looking on my notes that what she has wrote and I just don't know what it means xx

Not told to come back but had to go out and wait 30 mins for baby to move in to a better position so they could finish their checks as wasn't cooperating.

I would give your midwife a call and ask for clarification as it will play on your mind otherwise for the next 2 weeks.

It's great to hear others are in a similar boat. I totally agree, @Jessica86Shropshire 6 months seem to sound like a good amount but they are just still so very tiny and it's true - they are starting to be much more fun from then on. Do you have to say upfront how long you're planning on taking or can that change as you go along? I wonder whether I feel differently once I see the little one and suddenly nothing else matters... Then I might want to take a full year but not sure I'd want to commit to that just now.

@lilomum yes you need to let them before you go off, if you don't they have to assume you will take the full year. Good news is you can change whilst you're on Mat leave to increase or decrease your leave but you need to give 8 weeks notice.

I should add you can change it before you go off but once off you need to give 8 weeks.

If you go back at or less than 6 months though they must give you your exact job back.

This is a useful summary. www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/rights-at-work/parental-rights/maternity-leave-your-options-when-it-ends/

Sorry me again. Think everyone here knows but in terms of confirming leave dates you would need to tell them the date you want to start your Mat leave and pay by the end of the 15th week before your baby is due. Also a great resource www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/pregnancy-work/telling-your-boss-youre-pregnant-faqs

That's very useful, thank you @Jessica86Shropshire!

Scan done! All was fine and went really well, due date 28th October.

And have my 20 week booked in so no stressing about appointments again lol

@juicytoot287 wonderful news!! And also on the 20 week appointment!

So have we all now had scans?

I told my work after my 12 week scan.
We are quite a close team and it was lovely to be able to tell them.

I don’t think my finances will allow me to take a full year but I’m determined to take at least 8 months off.
I’m hoping I just drop back into my role- however the company is going through massive changes and I don’t know if my job will still be there or if it would have changed.
I’m more worried that they will change my role (not official title) responsibilities which they have done before with consulting me.
I think I’ll be 100% work from home by October so really hoping to work until I pop. Make the most of my maternity leave

Hey guys... anybody else waking ridiculously early every day?! Thanks baby 😂

Congrats @Juicytoot287 countdown to all our 20 week scans is on!

I feel the same about work @Kona84. I have some supervisory responsibilities but don't know how that will work if I want to return part time (which certain I will). I'd love to take a year off but don't think it's affordable.

@mooloop yes!!! Doesn't help i end up going to bed early too though.. Busy days still send me to bed early lol

I will take until July off. We have keeping in touch days so I can work a couple in May or June to top my money up when my parents are happy to babysit and i can get used to leaving the poor bean. Then work in July so I can get paid for my 6 weeks holiday 🙈😂🤞

@mooloop yes!! My alarm goes off at 5;45 for work and I keep waking up half an hour early even though I’m knackered. So strange!!

@Cpr12 haha unfortunately not! I'm still waiting for my 12 week scan. Which is finally next week when I'm 13+4!!! Feels like I've been waiting forever. Bonus is that I had an earlier scan at 10+6 for my fall, then it'll not be too long til 20w and then I get regular scans from 28w. So actually all quite nicely spaced 😂