Pregnant after loss thread- November 2021

[Sallyjo27]

Hi all, I’m currently 4 weeks pregnant after 4 previous miscarriages. I don’t really have any symptoms other than boobs a bit sore and nipples sensitive. I’m on clexane injections, cyclogest and aspirin as all the tests they’ve run have found nothing wrong. Is anyone else due in November after loss? I thought it would be a nice idea to have a thread where we can all chat and share our journeys x

@Tweaker hahahaha thankfully I had none of those preconceptions this time around! 😂 There are good bits later on when you're big enough to look pregnant, rather than podgy, but before the whale stage. Not sure I ever serenely floated though 🤣

Work is complicated. I currently do an office role but some of my tasks need me to go into the laboratory. I had to tell occupational health about the pregnancy as there was a suspected leak in one of the drains and I needed to be sure they understood my concerns. They are the ones putting the pressure on. My boss's boss already knew I was pregnant and has been super supportive but is removed from my day to day work. I'll see how I feel next week.

@Geyser33 ah that's not what you need 🙁 Sorry that EPU won't see you quicker - that's so frustrating and I remember them doing the same to me. Do you feel better at work or would you rather be at home? I will cross absolutely everything that it's OK xxx

Hi all 👋 I was wondering if I can join?
I’ve had 1cp and 3 mmc at 8-9 weeks ( saw heartbeats and perfect growth) now pregnant again. I’ve spoken to Dr Shehata and he said it’s statistically impossible to have all of those mcs be chromosome and thinks immune issues. I’ve been treated before for immunes before but only after falling pregnant . Same this time. Dr Shehata said all treatment needs to be done pre conception for immune issues and predicts another Mc which is not nice to hear .
Only 4+3 now x

@Geyser33 🙏 everything is ok. My friend had bleeding throughout her pregnancy and all was fine. Hopefully, you can get a scan soon

Hi how is everyone doing? Not been on here for a while. I'm 11+4 now. And have 12 wk scan on monday. Tbh I'm so scared for it and going to be a nervous wreck by Monday. But I'm hoping they say everything looks fine. I have everything crossed.. Xx

@PurpleRaven777 ah makes sense about work...these things are never simple are they!
@Hawaiidreamer how utterly horrendous for you. That must have been incredibly distressing to hear. I really hope she is wrong.

@LozHAP35 wow nearly at 12 weeks! Yes I too would be v nervous but the odds are strongly in your favour. Let us know how you get on!

Quick question for you all: anyone else being an unbearable bit*h right now?! I'm a hormonal mess! I feel rage towards my dh for no reason and am v snappy. It's a good job I'm resting at home, away from society!!

@Hawaiidreamer hiya, have you had any testing done? Is the dr a fertility/genetics specialist? Maybe the miscarriage association or Tommy's could give you a second opinion? I also found there are quite a few helpful people on the miscarriage association Facebook group that might know more.

We're under genetics - long story but our son has an undiagnosed genetic condition so, after our second loss, they decided to test mine and my husband's dna for issues that could cause miscarriage. I heard back today that it was negative, which is good news but doesn't rule out other causes (genetic and not). We've not had any other testing as NHS won't refer until 3 losses.

@Tweaker you ask this like its not my default mode to hubby..... 🤣 Anxiety and hormones would make anyone snappy! How are you mending?

@LozHAP35 ooh that's so exciting. Understand why you are nervous though. Less than a week to go though! I'm 10wks today and have another private scan on Tuesday - I'm finding it harder to be patient than before the last scan.

Yeah me too purple raven I'm getting so impatient now and just want Monday too come and to here them words..... Everything looks OK. I'll probably cry if they say that x

@Geyser33 hey, I hope your scan goes well today xx

Good luck @Geyser33 I'm thinking of you.

Hello

It’s not good news. Have one sac filled with blood and another with a baby but no heartbeat. Spotting likely start of miscarriage but been given other options to consider. Will be off the chat now as get my head round everything but just wanted to say thanks for all your support and keeping me sane these last few weeks it has meant so much to me.

Really wish you lovely ladies a happy and healthy pregnancy and will be thinking of you all come November xxxx

@Geyser33 I'm so sorry to hear that. I know there's nothing I can say that will make it less sh*t so just sending big hugs xxxx

Oh no, that's so devastating for Geyser 💔 life is so shit and unfair, this is so sad. Sending you the biggest of hugs xxx

I bought a book on amazon called pregnancy after loss and finding it beneficial, i really need all the crutches to stay hopeful and positive. Recommending if anyone else is in the same boat. Also been doing a daily meditation called first trimester meditation on youtube (hypno birthing with Anja). Thought maybe you'd find these resources useful too, guys xx

I'm so, so sad for @Geyser33 . It's awful, just devastating, and we can all imagine what she's going through. If you're reading this @Geyser, I'm sending you love and strength - I hope you have good support around you to get through this.

Morning all. Hope everyone is ok. I had a telephone appt with the midwife yesterday, went through lots of questions. My booking appt is next Friday for bloods. She was really lovely which makes a significant difference I think - I felt better after we spoke. She said to me, it's important to trust in your body, it will do what it needs to do. I'm nearly 42 and it was reassuring that she didn't bat an eyelid about my age. I still find it hard to imagine I could be holding a baby in 7 months - like there are soooo many obstacles between now and then. But, I feel it's possible.

@Tweaker glad midwife was so lovely and made you feel reassured 😊 Lots of women are having babies a bit older these days. I'd 'planned' to have finished having my family by 35 and it's just not worked out that way! Still not looking forward to seeing "geriatric mother" on my notes tho! 😂

I'm finding this week really tough tbh. My anxiety is through the roof and nothing much is calming it down. I started looking at dopplers again yesterday 🙈 I confess I'm very tempted but going to try and see how I feel after my scan - 5 days to go and really feels like it's dragging. I think I'm struggling because it's a lot harder to ignore my pregnancy to focus on other things as I'm needing to wear different clothes etc. It should be reassuring but we've been here before with the first miscarriage - my body just didn't get the memo so I'm terrified the same thing it's happening, even though I've had no symptoms to suggest that. Sorry no point to the rant really! Back to "one day at a time" !

@PurpleRaven777 I can relate. I will say that I truly believe that seeking temporary reassurance from scans, Dopplers etc. actually increases our anxiety in the long term. We are not in the driving seat here, we are passengers along for the ride. I think that sitting back and accepting that can be quite freeing.
Also, anxiety (esp for us, following loss), is just completely normal. Wouldn't it be weird if we weren't anxious?! So don't try to fight it - tell yourself, I'm anxious, of course I am, but there's nothing I can do. It's ok that I'm anxious. Then refocus on doing something else distracting. We might have to do this over and over. For example, this morning I had a v brief cry - just felt suddenly overwhelmed with fear - but that's ok. I had a cry, now I'm watching tv with a (decaf!) coffee and thinking about the day.
We are strong women! We've got this.

I hope that didn't make you feel worse! From one geriatric to another

@Tweaker I quite agree! I've done so much better with not peeing on tests obsessively this time but I felt strongly that I wanted another scan as my symptoms started to drop off, and at a point further than we made it last time. In theory I'll be 11wks by then and I'm hoping I won't need any more scans outside my NHS ones. I do have a terrible habit of expecting my feelings to be rational 😂 Thanks for the reminder to accept them and then move past it. Much geriatric love 😉🤣

[quote PurpleRaven777]@Tweaker I quite agree! I've done so much better with not peeing on tests obsessively this time but I felt strongly that I wanted another scan as my symptoms started to drop off, and at a point further than we made it last time. In theory I'll be 11wks by then and I'm hoping I won't need any more scans outside my NHS ones. I do have a terrible habit of expecting my feelings to be rational 😂 Thanks for the reminder to accept them and then move past it. Much geriatric love 😉🤣[/quote]
@purpleraven777 @tweaker 🙋‍♀️ hi, one more for the geriatric club here!

I had an early scan today and was so relieved to see a heartbeat and measuring one day ahead of where I thought I would be. The pictures are so clear and she emailed us videos too.

As I lay down for the scan I burst into tears and couldn't stop shaking. She was lovely though.

She did show us a second sac and said that it looks like it was a twin pregnancy. The sac is measuring around 4 weeks and as empty though. She said to mention it to the midwife but I haven't spoken to one yet. 8w3d now

Hope you are all well

@geyser33 so so sorry to read your news 💔 just heartbreaking

Congratulations @KG1145 that's wonderful 🥰 when are you due to meet with your midwife? Have you spoken to her at all? I can completely relate to your feelings about the scan. Honestly, I could cry thinking about it. If I get to 12 weeks I will be exactly the same - I'll be crying in the waiting room. It's just the anxiety for me and at times like that it's so overwhelming, I couldn't stop it no matter how hard I tried! I hope you're feeling reassured? It's another milestone.

Thanks @tweaker I'm feeling much more reassured, my nausea is much worse than my MMC too so that's even more reassuring. It's about the same now as I remember it being with my little boy who is now 3

I thought I had a booking in appointment last week but turned out it was just bloods. Not spoken to a midwife yet.

I worked myself up so much before the appointment last week because last time they were terrible. I called so many times and left messages about my MC and no one bothered to call me back from the midwifery team. It really added a lot more anxiety especially when it came round to my scan dates as I didn't know if the message had been passed on. I should chase up the booking appointment really but tbh I was glad to have the early scan first. I'm thinking of having another at 10 weeks too 😬😊

I was going to put a scan pic up but wasn't sure, didn't want it to be triggering for anyone x

How far are you @tweaker?