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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

He's not happy with the gender.

377 replies

TeaBookcats · 06/03/2021 21:46

This is my first baby, his second baby.

He has a daughter already, today we found out we are having a baby girl. I understand he's disappointed but he won't even sit in the same room as me. He said he hasn't got the motivation for another girl. I said that it was upsetting, what he said, he responded by saying I only think about myself, I'm selfish.

We had our private scan today, where we found out and he was miserable after, before we even knew. I was excited and he was just so down. We did a cannon reveal so his 7 year old daughter could find out with us.

What can I do about this? I’m feeling so lonely and disappointed, I understand he’s upset but this is my first baby, I want it to be special. Do I just let him get on with it?

OP posts:
Fatas · 07/03/2021 00:02

32

blue25 · 07/03/2021 00:04

He’s an idiot and a man child. I could never be with someone like this. Awful-your poor daughter.

ilikemethewayiam · 07/03/2021 00:04

Nope, I could not be with anyone who see’s a woman as having less value than a man.

Viviennemary · 07/03/2021 00:06

How awful for you. Unless this is very out of character and he comes to his senses in a day or two I think I'd call it a day.

Mockolate · 07/03/2021 00:11

I don't get this viewpoint, a baby is a a baby.

Frazzled2207 · 07/03/2021 00:16

I’m sorry op that is quite unacceptable behaviour.

Twoforthree · 07/03/2021 00:25

What would he say if you point your boy toddler might want to push a pushchair or dress up in a princess outfit?

Ask him what if he grows up, hates martial Arts and is into ballet or, what if he may even actually be gay. It doesn't bode well if he can't accept a child for whoever they want tio be.

icegarden · 07/03/2021 00:44

Plan to be a single parent sadly

icegarden · 07/03/2021 00:47

@TeaBookcats

He trains mixed martial arts and he said a dream was to have a son do it with him and he guesses that dream will never happen now.
Uuurghh he has two daughters ?!?? The only thing they'll lack is a penis
1forAll74 · 07/03/2021 00:48

He sounds weird and very immature, Did he explain what no motivation for a girl actually means.I have never heard that phrase used, regarding a child's gender. I can imagine that his daughter would like a little girl baby though.

timeisnotaline · 07/03/2021 00:53

@AnneLovesGilbert

I’d struggle to get past that. Sperm decides the sex. He knew it was 50/50 at conception. Babies are babies for ages and boy or girl it makes no difference. He’s horribly sexist. Doesn’t have the motivation?! The fuck? What does that say about how he feels about his existing daughter?

This leaves you in a truly shitty position but if I’m honest I wouldn’t ever look at him the same again. He is an utter bastard.

This, very much this. I’d be done, even if it weren’t his sperm deciding the sex! Maybe his little boy sperms are all deficient and can’t swim. Do you realise you can stop trying to work hard to make him and his daughter happy when he’s not caring about you? You can just stop. And say there’s a baby that needs care and love and she only has one parent to do that for her so I don’t have any time for either of you. Cook what you want, stop washing their clothes, tidying up after them (I get the vibe you do all these things for them). Look after yourself until you get the strength to make the hard decisions.
Taikoo · 07/03/2021 00:54

He's an arsehole.
Make sure this is your last baby with him.

HmmmmmmInteresting · 07/03/2021 00:56

Interesting how this thread is going. All the gender disappointment threads on here posted by women have lots of 'I completely understand hun, I felt the same'- type responses.

Mockolate · 07/03/2021 00:59

He trains mixed martial arts and he said a dream was to have a son do it with him and he guesses that dream will never happen now.

Why can't a girl do martial arts as well?
That'd piss me off, what's that all about

Mockolate · 07/03/2021 01:00

All the gender disappointment threads on here posted by women have lots of 'I completely understand hun, I felt the same'- type responses

Not seen those, but would garner the same response from me - as in why be disappointed at a girl, and they are capable of the same things

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 07/03/2021 01:10

@TeaBookcats

He trains mixed martial arts and he said a dream was to have a son do it with him and he guesses that dream will never happen now.
Plenty of girls do MMA, he is just a cunt
Mamanyt · 07/03/2021 01:12

OH FFS! His sperm, as has been mentioned, determines the sex of the baby. Tell him to have a nice, long discussion with his balls, and pout at them for a bit. YOU are the oven, not the one who leavend the flipping dough!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 07/03/2021 01:15

@JustDavesWife

One of two things would be happening after that remark, he would be gone or I would be.

He sounds like a knob.

Yup.

If he doesn't "have the motivation" for your baby, then why the fuck would you want to stay with him? He can't hide his disappointment now, and is blaming YOU for what is essentially his sperm's fault - I couldn't be doing with that level of a) stupid and b) resentment.

I'd be off, without leaving a forwarding address.

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 07/03/2021 01:21

@Wroxie

Men (and women, for that matter) who are into MMA are vile. The whole culture is repulsive. I'd leave him just for that, personally.
Vile? Oh behave Hmm
Italiangreyhound · 07/03/2021 01:21

It's very sad your child is already saddled with a prick of a dad and is not even born. So sorry.

Fruitbatdancer · 07/03/2021 01:21

Yeah, get rid. An family friends partner stormed out of hospital 20 week scan after discovering 2nd baby was a girl. Drove home without said family friend left her there!! Like it was her fault!!! I couldn’t believe she stayed but she did, he’s an ok father but a complete knob.

2Sangrias · 07/03/2021 01:23

What a stupid, immature, selfish man he is. Who treats a pregnant partner like this?

The ‘wanting a son to follow in his MMA footsteps’ is beyond pathetic, too. He sounds like an overgrown teenager.

Beware. He is showing you who he is and how he reacts when he doesn’t get his own way. Sounds like you’ll have two children to deal with when your baby arrives.

I’d be seriously reconsidering this relationship.

Gringlewald · 07/03/2021 01:25

It will be difficult, but if you can, try not to make ‘the father of my child did something horrible’ today’s headline. The big news is that you are going to have a beautiful daughter and the love you are going to feel for her is going to be unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Don’t let him ruin that. Try to get to the bottom of this irrational behaviour; talk to him and try to make him realise how cold and heartless his comments were. If there is no sign of genuine regret/realisation as to how ridiculous he’s being I’d be thinking very seriously about whether I’d want my daughter exposed to someone of that character at all.

MooseBeTimeForSummer · 07/03/2021 01:33

I think I’d be telling him I have no enthusiasm for the relationship ...

LalalalalalaLand123 · 07/03/2021 01:34

Huge congratulations on your pregnancy OP.

How on earth have you ended up with someone so vile?! How did you choose this disgusting female-hating dickhead? How did you decide to have a baby with him? I am just speechless. Leave now, it will only get worse. And raise your bar for men, you and your baby (and his current daughter) deserve so much better than this dirtbag.