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Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

673 replies

MotherHubbard2020 · 12/02/2021 13:43

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
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EarringsandLipstick · 12/02/2021 20:10

@halfwaythrough2

You've actually admitted you have care for you toddler and you didn't think to also leave the baby. If I had walked out of my scan after finding out the baby had died and saw you sitting there with your baby it would destroy me. This is one of the reasons even pre Covid you weren't allowed to bring you child. You sound like a selfish ass
This is a really important point.

OP if you are nearly 12 weeks pregnant, your baby can be left while you attend a scan.

Other posters have said - if you are in pain, and have concerns, you need to go go A&E, unaccompanied by your children.

doadeer · 12/02/2021 20:10

Will you ever say your baby's age?

EarringsandLipstick · 12/02/2021 20:11

Re your relative who's a consultant, I would call them & ask their advice.

However, I assume they'll just repeat what you've heard here. How can they help you?

You need to go to hospital & be scanned. Without your children.

Wannabegreenfingers · 12/02/2021 20:12

Wow 20 pages in and still no age. You are being very unreasonable to not leave your baby for the 20 mins a scan will take.

CakeIsEternal · 12/02/2021 20:13

@EstherMumsnet

So you deleted my post where I corrected my own spelling error, then you put it back after I asked you why it had been deleted and then you came back again and deleted all my posts.

I am so done with this forum.

Greenmarmalade · 12/02/2021 20:17

I haven’t rtft.

This is shocking. They should have scanned you. They have a duty of care to the (unborn) baby as well as you.

Can you afford a private scan?

3rdNamechange · 12/02/2021 20:18

@MotherHubbard2020

Of course it’s about breastfeeding, I brought my baby because he’s exclusively breastfed and I’ve never been apart from him plus he doesn’t take a bottle. I didn’t bring my toddler to the scan because I AM able to leave them and I understand why children are generally not allowed at scans. My argument is that discretion should’ve been utilised and the aftermath is a complete overreaction! I’ve just found out the lady to deny access on the door was the Superintendent Sonographer, obviously had too much of an ego to listen to a coherent argument put forward by a patient in front of her inferiors.
Of you were that rude and up yourself I don't blame them. By the way are you trying to get a record for the most times you can say 'exclusively breastfed' in one post ? Confused
Doublechins · 12/02/2021 20:21

By the time we find out how old this baby is it will probably be drawing a pension.

Greenmarmalade · 12/02/2021 20:21

@halfwaythrough2 If I had walked out of my scan after finding out the baby had died and saw you sitting there with your baby it would destroy me. This is one of the reasons even pre Covid you weren't allowed to bring you child. You sound like a selfish ass

No, you do. This is NOT a reason for why you can’t bring a child. I always brought my older baby to the scans as I couldn’t leave her- she was also breastfed.

I also brought her to the epu where I was told I had miscarried- a normal thing to do. I couldn’t leave her with anyone else and nor did I want to.

Greenmarmalade · 12/02/2021 20:22

It doesn’t matter how old her baby is. If her baby needs/wants her, as she/he is breastfed, then they should be able to stay with their mother. Mine was always fine in a pushchair while I was scanned, and I was scanned a lot!

TheGriffle · 12/02/2021 20:23

Is this going to turn out like the other recent ‘baby’ threads and the ‘baby’ is in fact 18mo?

Brunt0n · 12/02/2021 20:24

[quote Greenmarmalade]**@halfwaythrough2* If I had walked out of my scan after finding out the baby had died and saw you sitting there with your baby it would destroy me. This is one of the reasons even pre Covid you weren't allowed to bring you child. You sound like a selfish ass*

No, you do. This is NOT a reason for why you can’t bring a child. I always brought my older baby to the scans as I couldn’t leave her- she was also breastfed.

I also brought her to the epu where I was told I had miscarried- a normal thing to do. I couldn’t leave her with anyone else and nor did I want to.[/quote]
How is it not a reason?
You don’t care about anyone else’s feelings because you haven’t cut the umbilical cord yet?

Anonanon12 · 12/02/2021 20:24

I would put in a complaint and change hospitals.... Where is the next nearest? Ask your Dr's Surgery if the midwife you currently has is no use. In the meantime, I would either go to a and e elsewhere about the pain, or book a private scan for tomorrow if you can as you don't want to risk an ectopic

SheilaWilcox · 12/02/2021 20:27

I'm going to try one more time, as you haven't acknowledged a lot of the points people have made. I posted earlier about my bad news after a scan as have others and this hasn't been acknowledged.

I don't believe this is about breastfeeding, I think it is about your need to be right. You come across on here as having a bit of an attitude problem. To be fair, I probably would too if I felt attacked and some posters have been pretty harsh.

Thing is, now you need to move forward and decide how you want your care to be for this pregnancy.
What is more important to you, being right? Or the health of you and your baby? Swallow your pride and get this sorted. If you're not getting anywhere at midwife appointments, make an appointment with your GP, explain CALMLY the issue (Hell, even admit you're wrong and apologise if you can stomach it) and ask GP to help you come up with a solution. This might be referrals to different facilities or private options.

Do you really need to wind yourself and be getting stressed by this? Life is tough enough at the moment.

EarringsandLipstick · 12/02/2021 20:31

@Greenmarmalade

What utterly selfish posts. Unbelievable.

Crazycatlady83 · 12/02/2021 20:36

Everyone is (should!) be familiar with the law - it is discrimination to prevent a woman from breastfeeding. BUT it is not against the law to prevent a woman breastfeeding where there are legitimate health and safety risks. Clearly (you heard of?) the pandemic which is driving the policy in the NHS. They want to reduce footfall in their hospitals in an attempt to control the spread. Therefore I am of the opinion that it is well within the rights of the hospital to tell everyone (regardless of their protected characteristic) that there should be no children present at scans (where the consultation rooms are small and the risk of covid increased - especially with social distancing etc)

You have a pretty rubbish reason for needing to keep your baby with you - the scan takes 20 mins tops (which I’m sure you know having two children already) so I’m sure it wasn’t past your abilities to figure something out.

Therefore, you didn’t listen to these guidelines. You placed your needs above the needs to (keep safe/well) of the people who were working in the hospital. Sounds like you kicked off, thinking that you should be the exception to the rule and now you are learning a very good lesson you can pass to your toddler - your actions (kicking off) have consequences (refusal to serve you).

You have three options, (1) change hospitals (2) pay privately for scans (3) throw yourself on the goodwill of your existing hospital and apologise/apologise/apologise.

No one should be subjected to abuse in their job regardless of whether the abuser is a drunk in A+E on a Saturday night or a pregnant woman.

Given relatives can’t even go to visit their loved ones who are dying of covid (a close relative could only visit her mother once in the 4 weeks before she died OF covid)

okokok000 · 12/02/2021 20:40

It would be really interesting to have the view from the "other side". In my experience behaviour tends to need to be quite disruptive and / or extreme before hospitals start taking steps to remove patients and refusing to proceed that day, or in the future.

From what you've posted, whilst I appreciate the baby is currently entirely breastfed it was rather presumptuous of you to disregard the rules and just turn up assuming they would bend the rules
For you and then (a) tell them to use their discretion; (b) tell them to explain their reasoning despite knowing the rules; and (c) alleging they have breached their duty of care to you.

You could have avoided the situation by calling to enquire whether they would bend the rules for you and then made alternative arrangements even if it meant a friend / relative waiting at / in the hospital if your baby couldn't wait until you arrived home.

mummabubs · 12/02/2021 20:41

@TinyTear they wouldn't be allowed to wait in the waiting room either - no children in the building. Even husbands/partners are only allowed to the 12 and 20 week scan and have to wait outside the building to be called in literally when it's your turn to be scanned.

Perpetualheadache · 12/02/2021 20:43

How old is the baby?!?!?!

DoItAfraid · 12/02/2021 20:44

[quote EarringsandLipstick]**@Greenmarmalade

What utterly selfish posts. Unbelievable. [/quote]
Totally agree.

@Greenmarmalade you are not the first person to ever breastfeed. None of my 2 took bottles and they didn't starve to death while I had a 40 min scan.

You are so selfish and thoughtless. Twice I came out after seeing a dead baby on the screen. It's bad enough seeing everyone holding all their freshly printed scan printers but people like you take the biscuit.

wheredidtheygoto · 12/02/2021 20:44

YABU. For bringing your exclusively breastfed baby and for saying "exclusively breastfed baby SO MANY TIMES.
I bet you kicked off. Why should you be allowed to break the rules for your exclusively breastfed baby? Your exclusively breastfed baby should have been left with their father.

Lemonandlime123 · 12/02/2021 20:46

@MotherHubbard2020

I can assure you I’m not a troll or reporter and I wish the circumstances were untrue but sadly they’re not. Thank you all for the helpful replies, they’ve all been fully taken on board. My only concern at the moment is accessing the care I need for my unborn child.
You should ask the ultrasound department or your midwife how you are to access your scans?
motherofdinosau · 12/02/2021 20:48

If you have concern for your unborn child i suggest you seek the appropriate medical care (111 or a&e) and GET TF OFF MUMSNET!!!!!!

mummabubs · 12/02/2021 20:51

Age-related avoidance aside...
I think your responses OP demonstrate that you really don't understand or take seriously why the rule is there in the first place. And as an NHS employee myself, no, they can't make an exception for you. Where do they then draw the line if they do? All babies allowed that aren't mobile? Or only breastfed babies under a year? The rules aren't there to prevent you from breastfeeding or accessing care, it's to do everything we can to limit the spread of Coronavirus, which is especially important on hospital sites that are literally teeming with vulnerable people!

BlueTimes · 12/02/2021 20:57

@MotherHubbard2020

I can assure you I’m not a troll or reporter and I wish the circumstances were untrue but sadly they’re not. Thank you all for the helpful replies, they’ve all been fully taken on board. My only concern at the moment is accessing the care I need for my unborn child.
If that really is your only concern you would have behaved appropriately when going to the scan today.

Pay for a private scan and adhere to their rules since you’ve lost the opportunity for an NHS scan now.