Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

[MotherHubbard2020]

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

I expect the hospital asked OP how old her baby was and it all kicked off from there

I don't think we'll ever find out how old this baby is.... my guess is that it's 18 lol

@BigBadVoodooHat
Well I'm very sorry if I came across that way!

@katnyps

I think the word "snide" sums up a lot of the posts on here

Such self awareness @katnyps

Any baby which is at least 12 weeks old can wait the 30 mins it takes to do a scan for a feed as a one off.

Of course it’s about breastfeeding, I brought my baby because he’s exclusively breastfed and I’ve never been apart from him plus he doesn’t take a bottle. I didn’t bring my toddler to the scan because I AM able to leave them and I understand why children are generally not allowed at scans. My argument is that discretion should’ve been utilised and the aftermath is a complete overreaction! I’ve just found out the lady to deny access on the door was the Superintendent Sonographer, obviously had too much of an ego to listen to a coherent argument put forward by a patient in front of her inferiors.

@MotherHubbard2020

Of course it’s about breastfeeding, I brought my baby because he’s exclusively breastfed and I’ve never been apart from him plus he doesn’t take a bottle. I didn’t bring my toddler to the scan because I AM able to leave them and I understand why children are generally not allowed at scans. My argument is that discretion should’ve been utilised and the aftermath is a complete overreaction! I’ve just found out the lady to deny access on the door was the Superintendent Sonographer, obviously had too much of an ego to listen to a coherent argument put forward by a patient in front of her inferiors.

Go on, be a love and tell us how old he is. Dare you!

@MotherHubbard2020

Of course it’s about breastfeeding, I brought my baby because he’s exclusively breastfed and I’ve never been apart from him plus he doesn’t take a bottle. I didn’t bring my toddler to the scan because I AM able to leave them and I understand why children are generally not allowed at scans. My argument is that discretion should’ve been utilised and the aftermath is a complete overreaction! I’ve just found out the lady to deny access on the door was the Superintendent Sonographer, obviously had too much of an ego to listen to a coherent argument put forward by a patient in front of her inferiors.

Sounds like you're the one with too much of a ego.

Time for a massive glass of wine...

[quote katnyps]@borntobequiet
Hehe you'd be surprised! Latest NHS guidance is to feed on demand.[/quote]
My EBF baby is younger than OP's (unless she managed to get pregnant again before giving birth!) and I was told last week by an NHS pediatrician that she recommended moving towards scheduled feeding now.

[quote katnyps]@BigBadVoodooHat
Well I'm very sorry if I came across that way![/quote]
Oh come on, it was a joke. You set yourself up for it completely, it would have been a waste to let it pass.

Superintendent sonographer?

Well who knew

The baby not taking a bottle isn’t an issue as surely you wouldn’t expect to feed mid-scan anyway? So either way, the baby would be waiting for the duration of the scan.

Why would a superintendent sonographer necessarily have a big ego??

@MotherHubbard2020

Of course it’s about breastfeeding, I brought my baby because he’s exclusively breastfed and I’ve never been apart from him plus he doesn’t take a bottle. I didn’t bring my toddler to the scan because I AM able to leave them and I understand why children are generally not allowed at scans. My argument is that discretion should’ve been utilised and the aftermath is a complete overreaction! I’ve just found out the lady to deny access on the door was the Superintendent Sonographer, obviously had too much of an ego to listen to a coherent argument put forward by a patient in front of her inferiors.

HOW OLD IS THE BABY?

Christ woman, your avoidance of this simple question speaks volumes.

If you need to take a baby with you to a hospital appointment, call first to check it's ok.

Some medical appointments it is possible to take a baby to. Some it isn't. Nothing at all to do with how baby is fed.

Yeah you need a thick skin to get through one of these - not always my strongest asset!

@MotherHubbard2020

Of course it’s about breastfeeding, I brought my baby because he’s exclusively breastfed and I’ve never been apart from him plus he doesn’t take a bottle. I didn’t bring my toddler to the scan because I AM able to leave them and I understand why children are generally not allowed at scans. My argument is that discretion should’ve been utilised and the aftermath is a complete overreaction! I’ve just found out the lady to deny access on the door was the Superintendent Sonographer, obviously had too much of an ego to listen to a coherent argument put forward by a patient in front of her inferiors.

Or as she’s the superintendent sonographer she did as all bosses should and enforced the rules so that her “inferiors” don’t get a tonne of abuse off the rest of the waiting room after asking why they couldn’t bring their baby/partner/dog!

TELL US HOW OLD THE BABY IS

I think you should’ve phoned ahead OP. And someone could’ve sat in the car with baby. How old are they and how long do they go between feeds?

Is it popcorn time yet...😃

@MotherHubbard2020 my baby is 4 months old and EBF, fed on demand and she flat out refuses the bottle but, I have still attended appointments like my smear test and doctors appointments without her. I just give her a feed before I leave and she's fine. She can go 2-3 hours between feeds at this age. It's always been made very clear in appointments letters and even posters in antenatal where I am that no children are allowed at scans. I think you could have made other arrangements but just chose not to and that's your choice but you can't be totally surprised they turned you away? Granted, them seemingly banning you from a another scan sounds unreasonable given your version of events. If things happened as you say, I'd be appearing this strongly with the director of the hospital. I'd also consider a private scan for my own peace of mind.

You should definitely cancel the cheque OP.

Am shocked you managed to put the baby down long enough to get knocked up.

@MotherHubbard2020

Of course it’s about breastfeeding, I brought my baby because he’s exclusively breastfed and I’ve never been apart from him plus he doesn’t take a bottle. I didn’t bring my toddler to the scan because I AM able to leave them and I understand why children are generally not allowed at scans. My argument is that discretion should’ve been utilised and the aftermath is a complete overreaction! I’ve just found out the lady to deny access on the door was the Superintendent Sonographer, obviously had too much of an ego to listen to a coherent argument put forward by a patient in front of her inferiors.

So by the sounds of your last post you did have someone who could have watched your baby you just chose to ignore the rules anyway.

I exclusively breast fed my last baby and know how draining it can be when they are going through a cluster feeding stage and it's hard to leave them but really there's some places that aren't appropriate to bring a baby and a medical procedure is one of them.

I suggest you attempt to apologise and see if you can have the scan rescheduled. If that's not possible are you able to use a different hospital?

@Bluntness100

Is it popcorn time yet...😃

Sadly, the OP hasn't fully mastered the fine art of the strategic drip-feed, so I doubt there'll be much more entertainment now.

The full job title of the evil scan-denier just won't cut it

@dingoesatemybaby

I'm calling BS

Yup.

There was a thread the other week where the mum moaned as she’d been up half the night breastfeeding “baby” and was upset her husband hadn’t let her have a lie in.

“Baby” was fucking 2.

Oh goodness me, do you work for a formula company because perpetuating the myth that ebf babies can’t be away from their mothers for a second is so offputting to mums considering their options. I’m currently exclusively breastfeeding my 16 week old baby and breastfeeding (but not exclusively- he prefers pizza) a 3 year old. I would leave both children with my husband if I had to go for a scan! I will leave both with my husband on Monday when I have a dental appointment. I doubt I’ll be out of the house more than 2 hours and baby will likely sleep the whole time. I don’t express so she’s never had a bottle and won’t starve in that time.
Presumably your baby was away from you for enough time for you to conceive another baby, me and my husband haven’t had that much alone time in ages