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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

673 replies

MotherHubbard2020 · 12/02/2021 13:43

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Bluntness100 · 12/02/2021 18:07

There was a thread the other week where the mum moaned as she’d been up half the night breastfeeding “baby” and was upset her husband hadn’t let her have a lie in. “Baby” was fucking 2

That’s the one ! Thank you! I reckon same poster.

BlueTimes · 12/02/2021 18:09

I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

Don’t get them involved. They will be understandably mortified to be connected to you and not want anyone at the hospital to know. What an entitled embarrassment you are and it’s completely right you were refused the scan.

Ginfordinner · 12/02/2021 18:09

OK, I'll bite

@MotherHubbard2020 How old is your exclusively breastfed baby?

Immaback · 12/02/2021 18:11

“I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?”

I have an idea...why not give them a bell to do a spot of child minding while you have i your scan? If they’re an OBGYN they’ll understand both the importance of the scan and the Current rules so are ideally placed to help out

TitusPullo · 12/02/2021 18:12

Why does OP think a consultant obstetrician would have any sway over the Ultrasound dept? In my trust Ultrasound is their own department as they don’t just cover pregnancy scans.

Icloud54 · 12/02/2021 18:12

How painful is this thread 😩

BlueTimes · 12/02/2021 18:13

@Ginfordinner

OK, I'll bite

@MotherHubbard2020 How old is your exclusively breastfed baby?

Not that you will get an answer as the OP has refused to respond to that question throughout the thread, but it really won’t matter because even a three month old baby can be left for the duration of the scan.

My money is on the “baby” being referred to as a toddler by most people though!

Doyoumind · 12/02/2021 18:13

YWBU OP and obstinate now in defending your actions. We know your baby is EBF. You've mentioned it a couple of times now!

I had an EBF bottle refuser but you don't have my sympathy as you thought the rules didn't apply to you and you still don't.

katnyps · 12/02/2021 18:14

Ok genuine question - not goady!
What medical scenarios can you have your bf baby with you? I assume normal midwife appointments would be ok?

doadeer · 12/02/2021 18:14

Will we ever find out how old?!

To be honest if you have a 2 year old and a newborn and you've found time for sex you probably deserve a medal!

Icloud54 · 12/02/2021 18:14

WILL YOU BE TAKING THE 'baby' ALONG TO GIVE BIRTH TO THE NEW ONE?

BlueTimes · 12/02/2021 18:15

@TitusPullo

Why does OP think a consultant obstetrician would have any sway over the Ultrasound dept? In my trust Ultrasound is their own department as they don’t just cover pregnancy scans.

Well, if someone is stupid enough to think that rules don’t apply to them, then I’m guessing they are stupid enough to think it will make a difference or people will be impressed!

AnnLouiseB · 12/02/2021 18:15

My EBF baby is 10 weeks old and I’ve left him for appointments before. When he was less than a month old I had to have an emergency outpatient appointment. I wasn’t allowed to bring him so my husband waited in the car with him while I was at my appointment. I then had a follow up scan when he was about 7 weeks and I left him with my MIL for the 1.5 hours I was gone. I just fed him before I left.

What I’m saying is, you generally have options with an EBF baby, especially one who is (at a minimum) 12 weeks old. I think you should have called ahead to check it it was ok to bring him, and made alternative arrangements when you knew you couldn’t.

I don’t think the hospital staff are bad guys for upholding the rules. They have to be consistent. Discretion is all very well when it benefits you, but it puts them in a difficult position when they make concessions for one person and are then accused of unfairness by another.

That said, I think they are overdoing it by refusing to offer you a scan at all. They have a duty of care, and unless you were aggressive or abusive to staff they should be upholding that.

Incrediblytired · 12/02/2021 18:19

HOW OLD IS YOUR BABY?

Littlepaws18 · 12/02/2021 18:19

You really should have made other arrangements for your child. And if you couldn't you should have rearranged. A breastfed child is not a reason to bring a child at all. Why you would want to put them unnecessarily in increased risk of Covid either! And they wouldn't have called security if you were calm and rational in your approach.

Though I think that it's unfair of them to refuse you to have a scan. I would contact the department ask for the manager and calmly explain your reasoning and apologise. Hopefully they will remove the ban. Otherwise you will have to go to an alternative hospital.

WalkingMeAway · 12/02/2021 18:20

More drip feeding. The OP had childcare !!!

But still chose to ignore the rules without even a courtesy call to enquire beforehand.

Kitkat151 · 12/02/2021 18:20

@katnyps

Ok genuine question - not goady! What medical scenarios can you have your bf baby with you? I assume normal midwife appointments would be ok?

Ones where it does not specify on the appointment letter that no children are allowed...., and even then you would be better off checking during these Covid times

katnyps · 12/02/2021 18:22

In people's experience have you been told not to bring children to normal midwife appointments?

Lemonandlime123 · 12/02/2021 18:25

I have ebf both of mine, youngest currently 12 weeks old who I have left to attend a hospital appointment and for a haircut (those were the days!). Your argument really isn't about breastfeeding and you wouldn't be feeding during the scan anyway. What if the baby screamed throughout the scan and the sonographer couldn't concentrate? There would have been other women waiting for their scans too so they wouldn't be able to wait for you to soothe the baby.

Just because you are ebf it doesn't mean that the rules don't apply to you. You could have taken reasonable steps to ensure you were able to attend the appointment alone and it sounds like you left a toddler at home so did have childcare.

Lemonandlime123 · 12/02/2021 18:28

@katnyps

In people's experience have you been told not to bring children to normal midwife appointments?

Yes. I know my 2 year old would be running around trying to touch everything 😅

BlueTimes · 12/02/2021 18:29

@katnyps

In people's experience have you been told not to bring children to normal midwife appointments?

No.

Covidcorvid · 12/02/2021 18:30

@katnyps

Ok genuine question - not goady! What medical scenarios can you have your bf baby with you? I assume normal midwife appointments would be ok?

I’m assuming so as OP hasn’t started a thread about how she was denied access to her booking appt.

Plus at a normal appt you can actually care for your child, hold them, etc. You can’t do that when you’re flat on your back mid medical procedure. Though I’m assuming seeing as OP has made such a point about baby being EBF that she was planning on feeding throughout the scan?

Original poster

MotherHubbard2020 · 12/02/2021 18:31

I rang the ultrasound department again and asked to speak to the superintendent sonographer, apparently she wasn’t there but I was told by the admin lady that they wouldn’t be scanning me anymore at that hospital.

Pain in lower left side getting worse and not sure what to do.

OP posts:

sylbunny · 12/02/2021 18:32

Obviously go to A&E at a different hospital. Without your child please.

AnnLouiseB · 12/02/2021 18:32

Why won’t you say how old your baby is?!

If you’re in pain you should call NHS 24 for advice. They can make an appointment for you at A&E or the outpatient department if they think you need to be seen.

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