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Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

673 replies

MotherHubbard2020 · 12/02/2021 13:43

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
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Brunt0n · 12/02/2021 16:53

@katnyps

So many hypothetical situations here... what I'd the bf mums childcare is a shielding grandparent and she got the bus to the hospital? Would you expect said grandparent to come to the hospital and stand outside in the cold, particularly if her appointment is delayed? Yes, I know it's hypothetical .. but it IS different if the child is bottle fed as they could have stayed at home with the grandparent. For all of those who are saying "I left my ebf child with x for hours on end and they were fine"... good for you. New hospital policies designed to keep bf mums and babies together have been designed for a reason.
Maybe she should have thought about that before she got pregnant again if she can’t be apart from her child for 30 minutes. News flash, the hospital won’t let the baby be there in the car seat for the birth either
JumperooSue · 12/02/2021 16:53

@katnyps

So many hypothetical situations here... what I'd the bf mums childcare is a shielding grandparent and she got the bus to the hospital? Would you expect said grandparent to come to the hospital and stand outside in the cold, particularly if her appointment is delayed? Yes, I know it's hypothetical .. but it IS different if the child is bottle fed as they could have stayed at home with the grandparent. For all of those who are saying "I left my ebf child with x for hours on end and they were fine"... good for you. New hospital policies designed to keep bf mums and babies together have been designed for a reason.
Then surely these new rules are discriminatory towards bottle feeding mums? Why should they have to leave their children then? Bf mums and babies need to be together for the first few weeks, you’re just clutching at straws making out they can’t have an hour apart, it’s ridiculous. The OP should have called and asked or not just assumed her circumstances were different from all the other women.
Respectabitch · 12/02/2021 16:55

New hospital policies designed to keep bf mums and babies together have been designed for a reason.

That is for an admission. Mother and baby do not need to be kept together for a twenty minute scan, especially when the presence of children makes the functioning of the department unworkable.

They have the rule for a reason, OP chose to believe she was special, she was wrong.

katnyps · 12/02/2021 16:55

@JumperooSue
How are bottle feeding mums being discriminated against? This is about the babies, not the mums.

Mummyof2Terrors · 12/02/2021 16:55

Honestly feel like eyerolling at so much of this thread. One short appointment, people are speaking like it's separation for hours. Honestly this militancy is what puts lots of people off about talking about bf - and I bloody bf! It's not appropriate to have a baby at a scan for a multitude of reasons that have been continually pointed out. Threatening with LLL (another militant lot) is the ultimate eye roll. BF doesn't make you above the rules - it's one scan! When I had bad news at a scan I was still in and out of the hospital within the hour, it's not a long time.

MsHedgehog · 12/02/2021 16:57

@katnyps

So many hypothetical situations here... what I'd the bf mums childcare is a shielding grandparent and she got the bus to the hospital? Would you expect said grandparent to come to the hospital and stand outside in the cold, particularly if her appointment is delayed? Yes, I know it's hypothetical .. but it IS different if the child is bottle fed as they could have stayed at home with the grandparent. For all of those who are saying "I left my ebf child with x for hours on end and they were fine"... good for you. New hospital policies designed to keep bf mums and babies together have been designed for a reason.
Seriously, give it up...this is NOTHING to do with breastfeeding, but OP's behaviour.

OP got herself banned. The NHS does not easily ban people unless they are aggressive, abusive or violent. For the OP to be banned whilst she is pregnant speaks volumes.

No matter how much you (and OP) disagree with the policy, it is the policy and rather than being polite, OP kicked off to such an extent that security was called.

Others have had similar experiences where they couldn't get childcare sorted so they called up in advance and obtained permission to bring their child. Sounds like OP just strolled up with her baby and used the EBF as an excuse.

OP's baby is at least 6 months old. She talks about her periods being irregular (so this is way more than 6 weeks after birth), and she is 3 months pregnant. There is no way her baby is less than 6 months old, and no way she is exclusively breastfeeding, unless she doesn't believe in giving her 6 month plus baby anything other than breastmilk.

Covidcorvid · 12/02/2021 16:58

There’s also covid to take into account. Scan rooms are tiny, social distancing impossible. The more people in the room the more danger the sonographer is being placed at. Especially from a young child who for all they know is going to nursery every day, has a high risk of being asymptomatic for covid.

Why increase the risk that covid is passed to the sonographer who could then infect pregnant women before they get symptoms?

DoItAfraid · 12/02/2021 16:59

[quote katnyps]@JumperooSue
How are bottle feeding mums being discriminated against? This is about the babies, not the mums.[/quote]
And what is the risk to the baby being apart from the mother for 40 mins?

HeyDW96 · 12/02/2021 17:00

I'm sorry but you must have been horrendous before they called security and you are not allowed back. I have sent people on their way before and it's only really horrible ones, generally thinking they are above all rules and policies 🙄 it's sad that you couldn't have just apologised and diffused the situation, had your scan to make sure YOUR BABY is well, instead you're blaming the midwives and sonographer - if you care that much about getting appropriate care then you wouldn't be battling against the people trying to deliver it.

Viviennemary · 12/02/2021 17:00

I agree it's discrimination against bottle feeding mothers. They might have nobody to leave their child with either,

Covidcorvid · 12/02/2021 17:01

She hasn’t even being banned and she knows she hasn’t. She got told she couldn’t have her scan today even if she deposited the child somewhere. Because she missed her slot!

But she’s happily trying to insinuate she’s been banned and trying to paint the nhs in as bad a light as possible. And then won’t answer direct questions as she knows it’s rubbish.

Reminds me of the person who kicked off because she wasn’t allowed in some event at a fancy hotel which had specified no children....but she turned up with her breastfed toddler and shrieked bf discrimination at the hotel when she wasn’t allowed in!

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 12/02/2021 17:03

YABU

katnyps · 12/02/2021 17:03

So I think I ended up successfully taking more flak than the Op there! Hope you feel better about your situation now - and hope it gets resolved and you can manage to get the scans / appointments sorted going forward. Lots of good advice about calling ahead in advance though... and never tell them how old your baby is Grin

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 12/02/2021 17:05

@Pumpkinpied

What are you planning to do with your ‘baby’ when you go into labour?
Probably have it permanently stuck to the boob all the way through labour and delivery
JumperooSue · 12/02/2021 17:07

[quote katnyps]@JumperooSue
How are bottle feeding mums being discriminated against? This is about the babies, not the mums.[/quote]
Because a bottle fed baby could be emotionally distressed having to be away from their mother. The baby can be without a feed for 30 minutes regardless of breast feeding or not so by suggesting breastfeeding mums can bring their children to appointments as they have a special circumstance is ridiculous. I have breastfed and I feel it’s people like you and the OP that make women feel like breastfeeding mums are superior and it’s wrong.

katnyps · 12/02/2021 17:08

@HopingForOurRainbowBaby and @Pumpkinpied

Given her due date is about 6 months from now I don't think the Op is claiming her baby will be EBF by then!

borntobequiet · 12/02/2021 17:08

Do babies feed 24/7 nowadays? I’m sure they never used to be permanently attached to the breast. Goodness me.

katnyps · 12/02/2021 17:09

@JumperooSue
If you've inferred from anything I've said that I think breastfeeding mums are superior, I apologise. That wasn't my intention and not what I believe at all.

katnyps · 12/02/2021 17:10

@borntobequiet
Hehe you'd be surprised! Latest NHS guidance is to feed on demand.

JumperooSue · 12/02/2021 17:12

[quote katnyps]@JumperooSue
If you've inferred from anything I've said that I think breastfeeding mums are superior, I apologise. That wasn't my intention and not what I believe at all.[/quote]
I just feel like how this whole scenarios comes across, that we must make exceptions as the baby is breastfed. The baby can be without a feed so if it’s to do with the emotional aspect of the OP leaving the baby then the same rules must be put in place for all women with babies which isn’t practical for the hospital.

WalkingMeAway · 12/02/2021 17:13

Oh my god this thread, it’s painful 🤣

It’s nothing to do with breastfeeding. It’s not discriminatory against breastfeeding mothers or babies.

It’s about a rule which is a simple blanket - no children

No exceptions.

Kitkat151 · 12/02/2021 17:15

[quote katnyps]@borntobequiet
Hehe you'd be surprised! Latest NHS guidance is to feed on demand.[/quote]
‘ Feeding on demand’ is no longer used in many trusts..... it’s ‘responsive feeding’.....
Need to keep up with the terminology @katnyps😜

loopyapp · 12/02/2021 17:16

So .. My baby is nearly 10 months old and he has only just (in the last few weeks) at a point in his weaning on to solids for me to be able to leave him for a few hours.

I would absolutely consider him to be exclusively breastfed.

However the OP does state that the baby is in a carry car seat.. My boy has been too heavy for those now for a few months and hes in the 50th centile.. Think some of you are just enjoying being judgemental and nasty.

That said OP.. All your paper work and signs all over the hospital clearly state no children are permitted.

You're obviously not a stupid woman, I think you assumed the "EBF card" would be a sneak around the rules and you got caught out.

Odds are you weren't this person's first .. Or even tenth attempting this and given their quick leap to security assistance I'd wager they've had someone be aggressive.

I don't know what the way forward is here. I would initiate a SARS regarding the information documented about the incident and initiate correspondence with PALs.

katnyps · 12/02/2021 17:16

@WalkingMeAway
Do you work for the NHS? I'm genuinely curious about how this fits in with the NHS policy of supporting breastfeeding outpatients. Or am I wrong? Does that not exist and I've got it confused with inpatients only?

LBB2020 · 12/02/2021 17:16

I’m EBF my 4 month old (on demand) and could definitely leave him with DH for the time it would take to go for a scan! Why would you even want to take a young baby into a hospital during a pandemic?!
I have to agree, I think OP is being ridiculous and lying about what actually happened! Or is a troll on a wind up!