Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

[MotherHubbard2020]

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

@gypsywater

Imagine being told at a scan that your baby is dead and going outside to see some selfish entitled fucker there with her baby demanding the rules to be changed.

That was my first thought.

No one can advice you really without information your not willing to provide which is your choice of course 🤷‍♀️

www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/news/2877085/mums-anger-at-being-told-off-by-doctor-for-bringing-new-born-to-hospital-appointment/?fbclid=IwAR0wI4kdU9mrRUL7ks57pvzPvr6Mvz0eRa_t8ahT_BwYpz5qdUIcZtkG7hQ

I'm not sure why the hospital would issue an apology if it had acted correctly according to its own procedures (and note many appointments attended prior to this with baby in tow)

@OneForTheJourney

No children at scans isn't a new thing. It's nothing to do with COVID. It's standard practice.

My eldest is almost 21 and it was strictly no kids allowed back then! Good on the hospital for sticking to the rules. They are there for a reason. And I doubt security were called were no reason.

EBF only refers to milk, so a baby can be ten months and having solids for three means a day plus snacks and drinking water but still be EBF if they're not having formula

No it doesn’t, ebf is no other milk or solids, it’s literally what it says on the tin, exclusively breast fed Ie exclusive of all other food stuffs.

This child is clearly not ebf. They are likely on three squares a day and the staff knew it just by looking at them.

For context I had bad news at a 12 week scan - it was devastating. Seeing other happy pregnant mums was awful of course but I don't see why seeing other children should be any different. I am thinking the hospital policies on no children for appointments (except where EBF) are not there to protect the other patients, but I don't know that for sure of course

The pregnancy and the erratic menstrual cycles when EBF. It's certainly unusual (though, of course, not impossible) to menstruate and conceive while EBF

Yes, the average time for periods to return is about 15 months, which ties in to this child being about two.

I'm calling BS

HOW OLD IS THE BABY

DAMMIT WOMAN ANSWER THE QUESTION

as a side note, if you were this evasive and uncooperative at the hospital I'm not surprised they kicked you out

Regards breastfeeding and conception my HV was very clear to tell me that breastfeeding is not a form of contraception and she personally knows people who have conceived very early on (6 weeks!) whilst EBF and, yes, it has come as quite a shock. So whilst it may not be the norm, it's a dangerous myth to spread

@katnyps

Regards breastfeeding and conception my HV was very clear to tell me that breastfeeding is not a form of contraception and she personally knows people who have conceived very early on (6 weeks!) whilst EBF and, yes, it has come as quite a shock. So whilst it may not be the norm, it's a dangerous myth to spread

Are you OPs consultant obstetrician family member?

[quote katnyps]www.pressandjournal.co.uk/fp/news/2877085/mums-anger-at-being-told-off-by-doctor-for-bringing-new-born-to-hospital-appointment/?fbclid=IwAR0wI4kdU9mrRUL7ks57pvzPvr6Mvz0eRa_t8ahT_BwYpz5qdUIcZtkG7hQ[/quote]
"The mother was then forced to leave her son “starving for an hour” with her husband in order to get treated."

Silly over-dramatisation in order to add ballast to her 'sad face' story.

Whether the child is exclusively breast fed or not is irrelevant.

Babies, children, partners are not allowed at appointments at the moment. For their safety and to reduce the risk to others. Only the person needing care and the staff essential to delivering that care should be onsite.

The age of the child a d their food source is irrelevant. Babies are not constantly attached to the boob even when very small.

A baby will not be harmed by waiting with someone else whilst you are scanned. They sometimes have to wait whilst you go to the loo, shower, make dinner etc.

I've been the one on the end of devastating unexpected news at a scan and yes seeing a baby as I walked out would have made it worse. It was bad enough the other pregnant women as I was having to face the fact that my baby wasn't going to survive.

Don't take your baby or child to a medical appointment unless they are the poorly ones

All children are banned at scans at my trust. It’s for the sonographers as they need to concentrate. You could have the best behaved baby in the whole world but there’s no guarantee your wonderfully behaved child might take a dislike at being in a cold, dark room in the car seat and start screaming mid scan. Or the toddlers that try and open the door and ransack the room during the appointment. At my trust it was found that too much appointment time was taken up with parents trying to control their children and the sonographers were understandably distracted when trying to take measurements and look at vital organs. Not easy to do with a screaming baby distracting them or a toddler ransacking the room. I guess the baby is 13 months, I hope we find out!

@Kitkat151
Hehe damn, you got me

We are never going to find out how old this baby is, are we?

@BigBadVoodooHat - I read the starving for an hour with a raised eyebrow as well. Babies do not starve in an hour. Not that I’d recommend not feeding one regularly of course! But babies are remarkable resilient creatures, designed to survive new parents.

I did a KIT day with my EBF secondborn when he was 5 months old. I'd been trying him on bottles, but as it transpired he utterly refused to eat or sleep while I was away. I was gone 9 hours.

I can't say it was the most fun day my ILs, who were babysitting, have ever had, but they coped and baby was totally fine. He had a largish feed when I returned and then was as normal.

All this to say: YABVVVVVVU.

@katnyps

Regards breastfeeding and conception my HV was very clear to tell me that breastfeeding is not a form of contraception and she personally knows people who have conceived very early on (6 weeks!) whilst EBF and, yes, it has come as quite a shock. So whilst it may not be the norm, it's a dangerous myth to spread

Who is spreading a myth? I very clearly said that menstruating and conceiving whilst EBF were unusual, but not impossible

I note that you say "yes, it has come as quite a shock". Is that a typo, or are you the OP under another name?

@SunshineCake

Dh and I took our under two and three year old to a baby scan. Is this a new policy ?

May I ask why you did this when there would be other women (like me) being told that their much wanted babies were dead?

[quote TitusPullo]@BigBadVoodooHat - I read the starving for an hour with a raised eyebrow as well. Babies do not starve in an hour. Not that I’d recommend not feeding one regularly of course! But babies are remarkable resilient creatures, designed to survive new parents.[/quote]
This^

.....left ‘starving’ for an hour with the father who was outside in the hospital carpark🙄

People only think of themselves sometimes.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Apologies re the EBF post six months thing, I was thinking of the red book check boxes. I know there is a push here to train HVs not to circle "Partial" for babies over six months who are taking solids but not formula. Perhaps the term is "Total" rather than "Exclusive" though.

So many hypothetical situations here... what I'd the bf mums childcare is a shielding grandparent and she got the bus to the hospital? Would you expect said grandparent to come to the hospital and stand outside in the cold, particularly if her appointment is delayed? Yes, I know it's hypothetical .. but it IS different if the child is bottle fed as they could have stayed at home with the grandparent. For all of those who are saying "I left my ebf child with x for hours on end and they were fine"... good for you. New hospital policies designed to keep bf mums and babies together have been designed for a reason.