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Refused Antenatal Scans - Help

673 replies

MotherHubbard2020 · 12/02/2021 13:43

NC for this as it is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway, I attended my 12 week scan yesterday at the hospital and was accompanied by my exclusively breastfed baby.

I was refused the scan based on me having a child with me, I asked them to use discretion as my son is exclusively breastfed but the lady was completely dismissive and said it was policy. No children allowed to accompany mum for the unltrasound.

I tried to argue my case asking what the reasoning was, please use discretion and then explained that they had a duty of care and were now refusing my care based on me bringing an exclusively breastfed baby to the appointment. They argued that I had refused my own care as I could’ve left the baby. It got to the point where I asked them to make a note on my record that I had been refused entry to my scan based on me being accompanied by an exclusively breastfed baby. At this point I think the manager panicked and she told a colleague to call security.

As soon as I saw security walking towards me I just left.

Well today I attended my midwifery appointment, the midwife explained they couldn’t do much without the scan information but said the scan department was now refusing to scan me and an incident report had been logged, if I want access to this I need to file a freedom of information request.

I am totally at a loss, I have no idea how far gone I am because I am still breastfeeding and my menstrual cycles have been all over the place plus I’ve started having pain on my lower left side which I explained to my midwife today who advised A and E if it got any worse but explained that the ultrasound department at that hospital are refusing to deal with me so she doesn’t know what would happen.

I am totally at a loss, I have an immediate family member who is a consultant obstetrician but am reluctant to get them involved yet. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
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sylbunny · 12/02/2021 16:11

Not sure if anyone has asked yet but how old is the baby? Hmm

Seriously though even if baby is 12 weeks old you could have left it with someone in the car for half an hour. I breastfed until my daughter was 2.5 and I still think your being entitled! Breastfeeding has nothing to do with it, they said you can't bring your baby so you leave it at home!

ememem84 · 12/02/2021 16:12

@MimiDaisy11

If they have a policy they should state it in the letters they send. I haven't seen such a thing written in the letters - some trusts may be different. Also if all you know is that no children are allowed at scans wouldn't it make sense to call and check and not wait until the appointment to find out if it's ok or not? The OP never said she was told before that it would be ok to do so.
In all of my scan letters it stated only one other person could come with me (this was pre covid). It also specifically stated no children could be present and that id be refused my appointment if I turned up with any children without suitable care for them.
IloveFebruary · 12/02/2021 16:13

It doesn’t sound like a good idea to go ahead with no scans. Is there an alternative hospital you can get the scans or pay private?

Kitkat151 · 12/02/2021 16:14

@silenceofthemum

My 2 year old has come to me with scans after notifying them a few that I literally do not have childcare. My husband cannot leave work. I have told them what times I can come alone but they choose not to book appointments in those time frames.

It is a pandemic so I said I won't be leaving my daughter with the inlaws who see every tom d and harry and won't be putting my household at risk.

Not had no issues except we are not allowed in the waiting room lol.
I actually think it's a ridiculous rule.

Well let’s hope your 2 year is very well behaved because if she distracts the sonographer in any way and this results is missing some defect in your baby I don’t think you would be too impressed.....
AngelDelightUK · 12/02/2021 16:14

I always thought part of the reason they didn’t allow children in was in case you, or anyone else in the waiting area, received bad news. Imagine being told you’d miscarried to leave the room and come across a baby in a car seat. It would be awful. Alongside that the staff are probably so over stretched at the moment they can allow any bending of rules.

Can you transfer to another hospital? Your baby is going to have to get used to being away from you if it’s going to have a sibling in the coming months. It won’t be practical to breastfeed two when one is a newborn

Losttheequipment · 12/02/2021 16:16

If the “baby” is young enough to be EBF, I’m sure the OP would have answered the question by now.

MadeForThis · 12/02/2021 16:18

14 months

Dogsandbabies · 12/02/2021 16:19

YABU

The rules are the rules and they are there for very many good reasons. Pandemic aside, many women get bad news at their scans and the last thing they need to be faced with is other women's babies in the waiting room.

I am glad the hospital followed their policy. I have been at the receiving end of bad news and pregnant women in the waiting room were upsetting let alone if babies were present.

katnyps · 12/02/2021 16:21

@AngelDelightUK
"It won’t be practical to breastfeed two when one is a newborn"
I don't think it's useful to spread misinformation about breastfeeding. Official guidance is that you absolutely can breastfeed children of two different ages.

OzziePopPop · 12/02/2021 16:22

22 years old 🤣

slashlover · 12/02/2021 16:23

@katnyps

Well done to everyone on here who has juggled breast feeding and appointments previously, good on you. However, you should all understand that individual circumstances can vary and (regardless of this Ops specific circumstances) there may be times when a mum needs to take her bf baby into a scan or other appointment and there is a drive within the NHS to support this wherever possible so we don't end up in a situation where someone needs to choose between breastfeeding and their healthcare needs.
So should OP hold the baby while getting a scan or should one of the medical team? If the baby starts crying should the teams be expected to let everyone after OP wait because OP needs time to calm the baby? Should people in the waiting room who have just had devastating news at their scan be forced to cope with seeing/hearing a healthy baby?
MindyStClaire · 12/02/2021 16:26

A few points...

EBF only refers to milk, so a baby can be ten months and having solids for three means a day plus snacks and drinking water but still be EBF if they're not having formula.

Babies over six months are regularly left for hours on end in childcare while their mothers work, even the bottle refusers (like mine).

My baby went on a nursing strike we never resolved at 9ish months and STILL wouldn't take a bottle, so the only milk she got was what we could get in through cereal etc. She didn't perish.

Yes, hospitals absolutely should do what they can to support breastfeeding, but in this instance this could involve allowing OP to wait outside until called for her appointment or allowing her to nip out of the waiting room to feed if necessary. Not bringing the baby in.

I bet 18 months. We will never know.

randomsabreuse · 12/02/2021 16:26

I ended up with my then 2 year old at two growth scans after I'd carefully sorted childcare for the awkward time they had assigned and then they changed the day and time on me with 2 days notice. This was pre pandemic though. I phoned and they said as they'd changed the time with that little notice it was fair enough.

One of the other women when I was in maternity triage for reduced movements had her toddler in a buggy while she was being monitored and was waiting for her DH to come and pick up the child when he got back from work.

Still looking for the age of the DC - assuming quite young if they are carryable in a car seat though!

BigBadVoodooHat · 12/02/2021 16:26

It won’t be practical to breastfeed two when one is a newborn

Tandem feeding is perfectly manageable. I did it, as have many women across the world and throughout history.

3rdNamechange · 12/02/2021 16:27

@ScottishStottie

There is obviously waay more to this than you're letting on...

How forcefully were you trying to convince them to let you in...?

Exactly
luxxlisbon · 12/02/2021 16:27

I can't really blame the hopsital here, they have a policy and they need to enforce it. Women have had to have scans without the baby's dad there so unfortunately children aren't able to attend either. Even an exclusively breastfed baby can be left for a short amount of time.

Since you say you tried to argue your case I'm assuming this is more due to your behaviour on the day than anything.

I'm surprised they wouldn't just reschedule unless there is a lot missing from this.

EgonSpengler2020 · 12/02/2021 16:28

Talked to PALS
Breastfeeding is a protected characteristic under discrimination law, just go down that route. Contact la leche league for support.

The pregnancy must have come as a bit of a shock!!

BigBadVoodooHat · 12/02/2021 16:28

...unless there is a lot missing from this

Like the age of the baby? Grin

Mumto3thatsme · 12/02/2021 16:29

With all due respect, you shouldn’t have taken your baby with you, it was inappropriate.
However, I can’t see that they can refuse you scans either.
I’d contact pals, head of midwifery and head of the ultrasound department. At the end of the day scans are an important part of the care provided in pregnancy and you’re entitled to that care. If you’re not happy to attend that hospital anymore can you transfer your care elsewhere?

Kitkat151 · 12/02/2021 16:29

@MindyStClaire

A few points...

EBF only refers to milk, so a baby can be ten months and having solids for three means a day plus snacks and drinking water but still be EBF if they're not having formula.

Babies over six months are regularly left for hours on end in childcare while their mothers work, even the bottle refusers (like mine).

My baby went on a nursing strike we never resolved at 9ish months and STILL wouldn't take a bottle, so the only milk she got was what we could get in through cereal etc. She didn't perish.

Yes, hospitals absolutely should do what they can to support breastfeeding, but in this instance this could involve allowing OP to wait outside until called for her appointment or allowing her to nip out of the waiting room to feed if necessary. Not bringing the baby in.

I bet 18 months. We will never know.

Errr think you’ve got your facts wrong there🤔

Unless you disagree the official WHO definition

doadeer · 12/02/2021 16:30

I think you aren't considering that women can receive horrendous news during these scans and walking in a waiting room with a baby would be highly insensitive.

I don't really understand your time lines as if your baby is presumably a good few months old, he doesn't need breastfeeding constantly.

Toddlerteaplease · 12/02/2021 16:30

Calling security tends to be a last resort. There must be more to this than meets they eye.

WilsonandNoodles · 12/02/2021 16:31

So if it is how you said and you weren't excessively angry or aggressive the use of security and banning of future scans seems excessive.
But ... you got pregnant so were able (hopefully) to not have the baby attached to you then. Also if you don't know your dates it happened more than once. A scan doesn't take any longer and involved a partner so surely you had an option and could have simply rearranged?!
Your midwife not being helpful in finding an alternative may suggest you need to think a bit more carefully about your approach and manor and give her a call with your tail between your legs, an apology for not reading the letter and discussing the matter beforehand and see if she can get you sorted elsewhere.

cansu · 12/02/2021 16:32

I think it sounds like they overreacted but you were also being a bit OTT as well.

I would do two things:

  1. Write a letter to PALS. Be honest about exactly what you said and what happened. Maybe you should apologize for your part in it. However, refusing to scan you again and seeming to take your complaint so personally is in my opinion very unprofessional. You shouldn't have taken your baby with you, but I understand why you were annoyed that they were so rigid about the rule. I think you probably upped the ante with the whole ' you are refusing me care' stuff, but it's hard to tell without hearing the whole thing.
  2. Consider transferring care to another hospital.
BigBadVoodooHat · 12/02/2021 16:32

The pregnancy must have come as a bit of a shock!!

The pregnancy and the erratic menstrual cycles when EBF. It's certainly unusual (though, of course, not impossible) to menstruate and conceive while EBF.