Immune/ NK cells - Pred threat 27

[LaurenAB94]

@Bambii @Daffodil21 @Eeviee @Everhopeful35 @farfromperfect82 @Eeviee @Everhopeful35 @Hazlet2 @farfromperfect82 @HoldingOn2Hope @Jellystar23 @KtAgs @Lalaifa @LookingforAnswers86 @Marabouchoc @LRL12 @MrsMargot @Naticle @NessyT91 @NessyT91 @NICK7nick7 @rainwillmaketheflowersgrow @Rebecca9876 @Sophfr17 @Tinpo @VenusStarr @Wheresmyrainbow @Whyisthistakingsolong

Thanks @Unicorn9, one of the nurses with Dr S said that he doesn't really take beta hcg into account and if I get a line on a frer, they take that as positive. I'm going to message them tomorrow to update them and get our review booked in.

I'm so sorry, it's really hard ❤️ sending you a big hug back xx

How are you feeling otherwise? Did u have a good chinese and ice cream? A good way to spoil yourself after such a week.

I think I'm just a bit numb to it at the moment, but I know as soon as I'm on my own, it'll all come flooding out @Unicorn9 had a lovely ice cream and Chinese thank you. I'm supposed to be working tomorrow and I'm not sure I can face it. I want to try and not force myself to be OK. I'm quite devastated that our embryo didn't make it xx

@VenusStarr I just read your messages, I am so sorry 😔 ivf is an absolute emotional rollercoaster, I hope you're hubby is taking good care of you ❤, make sure you take time to recover before the next one, its just so hard to go through. I've had a biochemical under Dr S, started bleeding heavily on 8dp5dt, my hcg was 35 when I went in for my blood test 2 days later. Gutted doesn't even describe the feeling!! I was only on hydroxy at that time and Dr S said I might need something stronger and put me on the prednisolone for my next transfer. I was convinced that would be the one as we were throwing everything at it but that transfer was negative. Its just such a kick in the nuts to take months of medication and so much to-ing and fro-ing for appointments, so much work and money spent and all for nothing, its bloody devastating! I really feel for you honey, trying to mentally prepare myself for my next one which is taking forever to come! Do they offer counselling at your clinic? Might be worth a wee visit just to talk things through and sort your head out, I've used it before and it was nice just to unload to someone neutral? Big hugs xxx

@Unicorn9 how are you doing? Do you have any more transfers coming up? I hope you are keeping well xxx

@Cream123 I'm so sorry you've started bleeding. I'm not sure what Dr S advises in these situations (weirdly I never phoned them when I was losing my first one under his care - also ivf). I just knew with how early it was and the amount of bleeding I was having that it was gone and no amount of meds was going to bring it back? I hope you can get some advice from the nurses tomorrow, let us know how you get on xxx

Hope everyone else is getting on okay and enjoying the nicer weather xx

@Luckyducky2 I have an ERA test this month and my last FET in July. Have a consult with st marys today for my results and a consult on Friday with another consultant re my results of cytogenetic testing of last period on Friday. I am sure they will just cite my age as the reason but with euploid embryo ivf fails and miscarriages is it really age? I’m 42 and so don’t want to believe that this is the end of the line for us.... but looks that way:-(

Thank you for your kind message @Luckyducky2 we're holding onto each other ❤️ I don't think either of us want to believe it's another loss but I've just tested again and it's a faint positive 😢 I've just messaged crp to update them and get us booked for a review. It feels so cruel to be in this limbo, I'd kind of got my head around a bfn but this is cruel.
I'm taking some time off work I think, I need to but I feel incredibly guilty. I think I'll reach out to the counsellor, I hope my dh can join too, I can see he is trying to be strong for us both.
I think like you say, it's all the preparation, the mental, physical and emotional effort plus all the meds, trust and faith you have to put into this process, only for it to end in more upset and heartache. Sending you hugs back. I'm so grateful to have everyone's support here xxx

I hope the ERA gives you some answers @Unicorn9 I hope your appointment today goes well too xx

@VenusStarr Thank you very much. I’m not sure it will make much difference anymore. I’m 42 so desperately trying to convince myself that it won’t work due to my age and it has never worked before and trying really hard to accept we won’t have a baby but it’s hard. Anyways, I think it’s brilliant news it did implant. Regardless of what happens I really think it is a promising indicator. I’m sorry it’s so hard. I really do understand the hope being shattered and the limbo too well.

@VenusStarr I’m so sorry to read your update, I know how gutted you must be feeling. I hope Mr S can give you some answers. Like you say, it’s hard to know what’s worse, no implantation or a chemical. It may give him some ideas for next steps on treatment. Sending you massive hugs.

We’re still not trying. In some ways it’s nice that the pressure is off but I also feel like I’m wasting months. I know I’m under too much stress at the moment though. The biopsy brought my af on early and I still feel a bit crampy to be honest. I’m still going for acupuncture and he said not to even try the letrozole because the amount of stress my body is under if I did fall pregnant I could end up miscarrying just from the stress and I guess he’s seen it all before.

I want to resolve things with my job. I worked until midnight on Thursday, 10 on Friday and all day sat and I just can’t go on like that if I want to do IVF. Plus the atmosphere is horrible.

I guess next steps is getting the results of the biopsy and then booking in with the lister to see what protocol they would recommend.

Big hugs to all you brave ladies xx

@Luckyducky2 thanks for replying. I suppose I wondered what he thinks about asprin and clexane if there is a bleed....
Sorry for all the mc and Bfn on the board. It’s so hard :(
@VenusStarr I’ve no idea of your history but the little I’ve read recently I would consider era/Emma/alice and PGS . Shehata always put me iff PGS but my first pgs embryo is what worked....might not be the key but worth a think

@VenusStarr I am so sorry you are going through this. It's all so dam cruel! I wish there was something I could do to make it all better but I know you will be absolutely devastated right now. Your husband sounds amazing, I am so glad you ha e each other. Taking some time off work sounds like a good idea. I hope when you speak to the clinic and your IVF team they can help you to decide what your next steps will be. I am sending you the biggest virtual hug ❤

@Badlydrawngirly how long will it be for your biopsy results? I really hope things at work get sorted out for you soon. Where are you at with things now? Waiting to ttc is so hard, we had to so many times due to complications with surgeries, waiting for tests etc. I just tried to focus on preparing my body and my husbands as much as possible for ttc again to regain some level of control over the situation.

@Tumby I hope the ttc goes well this next cycle. Trying to make it as fun as possible is a good plan. I have everything crossed for you. I was wondering at what point after a positive ovulation test you start progesterone. I don't want to start too soon so it affects ovulation, a lot of things I've read say 3 days after a positive ovulation test.

Thinking of all the other ladies on here.

Xxx

So just to make things more complicated, it's my official urine test day and it's positive 🤯 I did a frer and a boots 25miu test and both came up - only an hour hold. I needed to see the negative to help me process it and now my head is all over the place. Its like it's happening to someone else.

I'm waiting for the clinic to call me back, I'm hoping they'll redo my hcg bloods. I've messaged crp too but I don't want to go for intralipids until I know what's going on. Something isn't right, a small part of me is hopeful that it could work out, maybe they implanted late (I'm thinking Saturday) but the other part is worrying about things like ectopic.

Thanks for being here @Rainbowdreams1983 @Badlydrawngirly @Unicorn9 @Luckyducky2 ❤️ xx

@VenusStarr what an absolute mind f*ck for you! I hope it turns out ok. I know it's hard to believe a pregnancy can turn ok after all you've been through, but there are ladies in this group that have proven it can. I understand the need to protect yourself and not let yourself believe or trust it, and it's definitely a good idea to get your bloods done again (and maybe again 48 hours later to check they've doubled?). I really really hope this is it for you x

Thank you @Daffodil21 I've just had my bloods redone and asked for my progesterone to be checked too but I won't get the results until tomorrow now. The bleeding has got heavier again and I'm cramping, so not expecting a happy ending.
The clinic said it's very unusual and there wasn't really anything they can say to reassure me. They did ask me to be mindful of signs of an ectopic, which is at the back of my mind.

I'm going to head home and sit in the garden again. Thanks for checking in xx

Hi @Unicorn9 thanks for your reply. I am already taking the steroids about 6am, had a check up call from clinic yday and that was all they could suggest so just have to put up with it for now.
Fortunately had a much better night last night so feeling much better today.

I’m sorry you have suffered several losses that is very hard. You could be right perhaps TSH has nothing to do with it, it just feels like so much is still unknown doesn’t it. I think I expected there to have been more knowledge about what conditions we all need to get pregnant but it seems like there is still such a lot of guesswork involved. I don’t know about you but I feel like it’s an almost impossible game to win.

I was a bit upset Monday morning as more signs AF is on the way I would of tested early but had a family bbq with my one year old nephew and didn’t want to be upset all afternoon. It was lovely and I love him to bits but can’t help thinking why not us? Trying to hold off POAS now as SIL may move nephew and brothers joint bday party to this weekend and I don't want to be really depressed for it. OTD is on Monday but I’d usual test before then just to get my head round it before speaking to clinic.

Yes it’s funny how sometimes the “poorer”quality embryos take when the better ones don’t hopefully your consultant can give you some answers on Friday I think it’s often harder if no reason can be found.

@VenusStarr - that is a complete headf**k!

I don’t want to add to the mix but did you have 2 embryos put back? Could it be that they both implanted and you lost one? Are you still bleeding? I’m sorry, this might not be helpful at all, I just want a positive outcome for you so badly. Xxx

@VenusStarr - sorry, just read your post about bleeding and cramping. If it’s any consolation, I didn’t have pain with my ectopics until a few weeks in. Obviously it’s good to know what to watch out for. Can the EPU scan you? A good sonographer would be able to pick up on it even this early.

Sending big hugs xx

@Rainbowdreams1983 I think he said 2-3 weeks but i think the pain took over and made me forget what he said!

I’m still getting cramps now so I’m a bit worried to be honest.

I think I’m going to book us an appointment with the lister just to feel like we have a plan in place.

Just one embaby @Badlydrawngirly 😢 I feel so sad about it (I think it was a boy), its like he tried really hard to stick around. I've been quite crampy and last night I took ibuprofen and used one of those be you period things as the cramps were quite bad.
The clinic said to take progesterone again, luckily I've got some cyclogest, so I can use the back door so as not to irritate my cervix, but they've said no aspirin or clexane. I had a big gush of blood as I arrived at the clinic as well.

I think the clinic would scan me if they are worried about an ectopic - will see what my bloods say tomorrow. I'm guessing they might want to monitor over a few days if it comes back raised tomorrow.

I know exactly what you mean about having a plan, I was preparing for a FET! The Lister is supposed to be good. Hope your results done take too long to come back. X

Oh @VenusStarr I felt the same about my miscarriage in Feb, I knew it was a boy and I felt so sad that he desperately wanted to make it. It’s devastating. Such a brutal process and a rollercoaster of emotions.

To be honest I want a plan but I know I’m not strong enough for IVF at the moment. It’s all too raw and with all this stress going on it’s not the right time.

I know I will be strong enough one day soon and you will too, however unlikely that seems at the moment.

I hope you get some answers. Are you waiting on your IVF clinic or Mr S at the moment? Xxx

❤️ @Badlydrawngirly I'm waiting on my hcg bloods from the ivf clinic. One of the nurses from Dr S called me earlier, we've booked my review for seeing Dr S for 21 June. But I'm running low on hydroxy, so she was saying 'when you come for intralipids... You can just get them then rather than post them'. So they don't seem too concerned at the moment. But they're waiting for my bloods as confirmation which way its going.

Trying to have a baby is the hardest thing I've ever done. And to get so close, it's heartbreaking. Strangely, I do feel hope that we can get there one day. I had started to lose hope but knowing we can create good embryos and knowing it did implant, even if it doesn't work out, has given me some hope back. Just wish this wasn't so complicated.

I hope work and the stress does settle for you. I found the stims process OK, just tiring, but once the embryos are created, the anxiety was high, plus then the tww. I think knowing you've got the plan to pick up when you're ready could be helpful though 🙂 xx

@VenusStarr it feels like constant waiting and tests and then more waiting doesn’t it?

I hope they can give you answers soon. I’ve always found not knowing the worst part. God knows how I will cope in the 2ww!

Like you say, lots of things to be positive about, you know you can make good embryos and that’s a massive hurdle to overcome!

I always thought our issue was implantation but now I think it’s egg quality so hoping PGS testing will help with that.

My oldest friend just announced her pregnancy on Facebook. She found out around the time of my miscarriage. I am happy for her as she had an ectopic 2 years ago but I’m also gutted as it should have been us making our announcement. I haven’t given up hope, just feeling totally broken by it all and life in general.

@VenusStarr let us know what they say tomorrow ❤️

@Badlydrawngirly that's sounds so tough to see x

Hi again all. I've had my results with Dr S today so have the treatment plan and can now understand what you're all taking about! I'm really nervous of all the drugs etc but he was keen for me to start today because it works out to be the right timing for my cycle. Eeeeek! I am rather worried about the cost of intralipids if it takes a long time to fall pregnant.

@VenusStarr I'm so sorry to read what you're going through. Must be so hard to process, it sounds so awful. Sending all the positive vibes your way.

@VenusStarr oh my goodness, that is a lot to take in?! I had a suspected ectopic/PUL a couple years back (my god is there nothing I havent had?! 🤣🙈) and I didnt have any pain or cramping either so hopefully its not that? I had a bit of brown spotting at 7 weeks that was all? I am hoping everything will be completely fine for you.....maybe just a late implanter? You always hear stories about women who bleed all throughout the first trimester so maybe thats the case with you? Fingers crossed 🤞🤞🤞 xxx

@Badlydrawngirly its always a sore one seeing those announcements on Facebook or insta 😔 i feel your pain, sending hugs for you xxx

@Unicorn9 how did you get on with you results at St Mary's? So many tests, its hard knowing what to do, to keep going or try another avenue. I'm 42 now aswell and wondering if donor eggs would be better (though I've still got a few embryos left to try so not ready to write them off yet!) But defo starting to think is there another way? 🤔 xxx

@Luckyducky2 Thanks for asking. Prof Reagan phoned me which was a surprise as I thought it would one of her colleagues. She said to wait until I have my consult with the doctor re the outcome of the cytogenetic testing on the last miscarriage which is tomorrow and then she will phone me again to discuss the st marys results. I should have asked for the results but I was so flustered that I didn’t. :-( we only have one embryo left and can’t afford to do it again. I have ERA in June and then FET in July. I hope.
My consultant is away in august so I’m hoping timing wise it will all work out... I don’t want to wait until September. I’m scared it’s over for us...