Immune/ NK cells - Pred threat 27

[LaurenAB94]

@Bambii @Daffodil21 @Eeviee @Everhopeful35 @farfromperfect82 @Eeviee @Everhopeful35 @Hazlet2 @farfromperfect82 @HoldingOn2Hope @Jellystar23 @KtAgs @Lalaifa @LookingforAnswers86 @Marabouchoc @LRL12 @MrsMargot @Naticle @NessyT91 @NessyT91 @NICK7nick7 @rainwillmaketheflowersgrow @Rebecca9876 @Sophfr17 @Tinpo @VenusStarr @Wheresmyrainbow @Whyisthistakingsolong

Hi everyone 👋 so, still in limbo. My hcg is 14.9 now 🤔 my home tests are darker too. So I'm continuing with progesterone and if have no more bleeding, I can restart aspirin and clexane tomorrow evening (had none today). I'm back on Monday for more bloods, but they've nearly tripled in 51 hours, but obviously still very low - I'm supposed to be 4+3 today. Holding onto possible late implantation @Luckyducky2 🤞 the nurses at crp just said jeep us posted, so I'm glad they're not saying go down for intralipids unnecessarily.

Glad you appointment went well @treesall did you have intralipids today? Which plan are you on?

Hope everyone else is OK @Rainbowdreams1983 @Badlydrawngirly @Tumby @Unicorn9 (hope tomorrow goes well) @Cream123 @Daffodil21 and anyone else I've missed xx

@VenusStarr my fingers and toes are crossed for you lovely. Being in limbo is the absolute worst, I really really really hope this surprises you with a positive outcome.

I'm on the complex plan, so started hydroxy today. All the tests came back normal except the activity level of the NK cells, which sounds from this thread like that's a relatively common result, I think?

I will book the first intralipids infusion in a couple of weeks once AF has happened. X

@VenusStarr that’s great news about your hcg and that the bleeding has stopped. It sounds like it could be late implantation! I know the wait between tests is torture. Keeping everything crossed for you!

@Luckyducky2 and @Daffodil21 - it really is hard to see those announcements. She did ring me to tell em she was pregnant and I am trying to be a decent person and feel happy for her but I am so gutted and can’t stop thinking it should have been us making those announcements.

I just feel like I’m hurting my head in the sand. I’ve not taken the letrozole this month because quite frankly I’m terrified of another miscarriage and I just don’t trust my body and my eggs! I hate the feeling that time is ticking and I’m no further forward. I know I need to look after myself but I’ve fallen back into bad habits due to all the stress. I’m trying not to sound childish but I know my friend wasn’t taking any supplements at all or putting herself through the different tests and treatments we all do. I just find it all a bit unfair.

Thank you @treesall 🙏 yes, my nk cell activation is really high too. I've not noticed any side effects from the hydroxy.

Thank you @Badlydrawngirly 🤞 I hope so, I've trawled the Internet and found a few good outcomes. I'm feeling strangely calm at the moment, I don't know if it's a self-preservation thing but I just have a feeling I'll be OK.

I think it's so hard looking at all the stuff we're doing just to have a chance at getting pregnant (not even to mention staying pregnant) and then others don't even have to think about it and it's all smooth sailing. I saw on Instagram something about infertility and recurrent losses and it was women like us study so hard for the test and don't even get a grade and the girl next to us turns up not knowing it was exam day and passes with flying colours and it really resonated with me. Xx

Hi everyone, every time I come on here and catch up on your posts it’s just unreal to read how much people have been through. Such a difficult difficult time isn’t it.

Wondering if anyone has weaned off prednisolone before? Unfortunately 4th miscarriage progressing at the moment. This one at 9 weeks. I’ve been advised to drop down from 20mc to 15 for a week. Then reduce to 10 for a week, 5 for a week and then stop. I want to be super careful with this because I have autoimmune issues. Has anyone been through this process of weaning off? Is that the same as the advice you received?

Thanks in advance and hoping everyone is doing ok x

I am so sorry you're experiencing another loss @NImama ❤️ I've not weaned off prednisolone as only been on it for short periods whilst ttc.

I think @Daffodil21 did, so she might have some advice. I hope you're doing as well as you can be. This journey is so hard, but we're here if you want to talk xx

Morning everyone!

@VenusStarr I'm so sorry to hear about the rollercoaster ride you've been on. Really positive that you're feeling calmer. Apologies for my ignorance as not really sure how ivf works, but will you need to keep having your HCG levels checked? Sending hugs & keeping everything crossed that things work out ok.

@Rainbowdreams1983 how are you getting on with the ttc? Is it nearly time for you to test? I tend to start the progesterone about 2 days after the static face thing on the clear blue LH surge tests. I didn't realise it could affect ovulation. I really struggle to find any info on it, other than what Dr S tells me & I don't find him that helpful at explaining things! They've said that if I struggle to conceive, they might see if they can 'speed things up' but no idea what that means! Maybe IVF...

@Luckyducky2 @Daffodil21 I can really empathise with your feelings regarding others falling pregnant & the pain that brings as you have to be happy for them but it's actually causing so much pain! My best friend fell pregnant at the exact time that I lost mine in January so it's honestly like torture as I feel like she is living the journey I should be on. I don't want to go to the baby shower but no idea how I'll get out of that one. It's due about 3 weeks after mine would have been. There's also 3 of my other friends that are all pregnant at the same time. It really is tortuous! I do feel very lucky to have this group as support as I previously felt very isolated as I hadn't met anyone that had been through the same thing.

@NImama I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't had prednisolone before so can't advise on that but just wanted to send love. ❤️

I wondered whether any of you ladies had changed anything lifestyle wise? Or whether your SO's had? I'm really trying to not drink and eat healthily & cut out caffeine etc etc. Apparently alcohol is really detrimental to sperm so whenever we do have a little drink together I just feel so guilty! But really not sure of the actual difference it can make...

Xx

@Tumby @VenusStarr thanks so much. I’m not doing too badly. Yes it’s devastating. But none is as big a shock as the first miscarriage in my opinion. I also had major doubts about the pregnancy in the sense that I had symptoms which disappeared very early on. But then we had 3 great scans! We are heartbroken but certain sense of relief not to be stuck in that limbo of people telling you to be positive when you know you really don’t feel pregnant.

@tumby I think I’m going to take some time now to build myself up and look at supplements to support my immune system and to help my body recover. But while ttc I totally switched to decaf tea and coffee just because I knew I’d have to anyway if I got a positive test. With respect to food and alcohol I honestly feel strongly that you have to keep living! My friend has been through this too (5 miscarriages and then a boy) and she said it took her a long time to realise that you should try to live normally! Eat and drink and make plans! Otherwise I think you just focus on TTC and nothing else and I think then maybe the stress levels go up 🤷🏻‍♀️

Just checking in quick to reply to @NImama - @VenusStarr yes I have weaned off from 20mg.

I must start by saying that I didn't actually have doc advice, I think I read what someone else had been advised to do on here and did the same 🙈 I didn't have any problems coming off it (but I also don't know if I do have an autoimmune issue). I was on 20mg then I went down by 5mg every 8/9 days (I wanted to do it slightly longer than a week)

So sorry you're going through this. It really is horrible ❤️ x

(Will reply properly later but thinking of you all x)

@Daffodil21 thank you! This is actually what I think I’ll do too. I’ve been thinking about it all day and I’ve plenty of tablets left so I’ll probably just take it very slow. X

@VenusStarr totally agree with you about the whole exam analogy it’s like there is no reward for the amount of effort put in! I am keeping everything crossed for positive news for you.

@VenusStarr what a nightmare for you! Your head must be all over the place. I have everything crossed for raised HCG on Monday 🤞 The apology you gave is so true, I'd love to be someone who turns up on exam day without revising and did well!

@treesall glad you have your results and a plan. I'm on the complex one too on hydroxy and 5 lots intralipids. How are you feeling about it all?

@Badlydrawngirly please don't be hard on yourself. Its so hard to keep going with everything you are going through. Sometimes we just need to do those things that help us to get through the difficult times. I've certainly been there many times these past 3.5 years! You ate not childish at all, I've no doubt all the ladies on here have had those thoughts about others who are preg and had it easy, I have more times than I remember.

@Nlmama I am so sorry you are going through another loss. It's so cruel. I hope you are getting good care from your health team 😪

@Tumby I am currently in my TWW. Will be 10 days past ovulation end of next week. So far feeling suprisingly chilled about it all. I didn't realise it could delay ovulation either until recently, the clinic confirmed I could start it today so its back to messy pants every day lol. I have everything crossed you get a positive quickly.

@Daffodil21 @Luckyducky2 I agree with Tumby. It never gets any easier hearing other people's pregnancy announcements. I had to shut my office door at work when a pregnant colleague was in and sob silently in there as she spoke about her pregnancy. Felt like a right idiot hiding away but I had to for self preservation. Avoided so many people these past 3.5years for the same reason. So sad thinking what could have mean. It makes a huge diff being able to speak to you ladies who just get it without having to explain

I hope everyone else is OK.

Xx

@VenusStarr that meant to say analogy not apology!

Sorry for all the typos ladies. My phone has a life of its own sometimes

Thanks for the good wishes everyone, but I think it's over 😢 I've tested today and my tests are getting faint. The frer are very faint now, but the 25miu are still clear and a clearblue is still obvious. So I'm not anticipating good news on Monday. Just feeling a bit shellshocked and confused 😕

I'm feeling a bit worry for myself and having a small glass of wine 😢 which I wouldn't do unless I was certain. @Tumby @Rainbowdreams1983 @Badlydrawngirly @InvisibleDreamer definitely failed the exam 💔

Sorry, I'm too exhausted for worry (stupid phone).

@VenusStarr I'm so sorry to hear this. I just wish I could make everything ok for you. It's no wonder you feel confused and shell-shocked. The frer are more sensitive than the 25ml and clearblue so with you still getting clear lines on those thats a positive thing, there could be an error with the frer?
I am sending you the biggest virtual hug and please know you have been in my thoughts a lot. Xxx

Oh @VenusStarr I'm so sorry, lovely. You're in my thoughts too and I don't blame you on the wine front! Is your husband with you? We're all here for you if that's any consolation 💞💞💞 xx

@VenusStarr I'm so so sorry. Sending big hugs your way. It's all so unfair.

@Rainbowdreams1983 I was feeling really daunted after the appointment. However, I'm now feeling quite positive about everything. I am a bit worried that I'm getting my hopes up too much. It's been such a rollercoaster of repeatedly getting pregnant swiftly followed by early losses over the last year, that I didn't even have any hope in the last pregnancy. Now I feel optimistic the next one might work out, which is going to be so much harder to cope with if it doesn't. I'm worried it's going to take a long time to get pregnant again and I kinda feel we can't have intralipids monthly indefinitely, sadly the funds will run out! x

Any thoughts on when enough is enough ladies? Sorry if that’s pessimistic when maybe what people actually need is hopeful conversations! I don’t think I’m quite there yet. But just as you say @treesall it’s the rollercoaster of getting pregnant, trying to stay calm and get to a place of optimism and then if it doesn’t work out you’ve the whole physical upheaval and the devastation. We’ve had 4 losses now in little over 1 year. I’m going to consider asking for a referral to one of the specialists in England for a full review of the tests I’ve had. Northern Ireland is so backward with infertility and testing is very limited. But I’m not sure how I’d feel about trying again unless something new is spotted in my results. We are so lucky to already have an almost 4 year old son. Anyway, it’s a tough call isn’t it. If I had the money I’d really consider a surrogate. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thinking I might POAS later OTD is Monday seems almost certain will be BFN now, want to get mu head around it before speaking to clinic. OH wants to wait probably so he can enjoy his last day off. So disappointing thinking will have to start all over EC didn’t go well for me last time - severe pain and mild OHSS and timing with work is so difficult. Just mentally feel like it won’t ever happen for us and so fed up of waiting. Hope everyone else is doing better today. I’m off to sit in the garden and get some sun at least it feels like being on holiday.

I'm the same @NImama. We have had 4 losses since August last year. Dr S seemed pretty confident this treatment will work but then again he's going to tell me positive things isn't he! I think in my head I'm thinking two more chances now that I'm having treatment. Then, if those two attempts aren't successful then I will have to accept I'm done. I don't think I've got the energy to go through it indefinitely. I have a 3 year old and whilst I desperately want another baby, the larger the age gap gets, the harder it is to imagine going back to tiny baby days and as time goes on, balancing life with an older child and a baby.

Have the tests you've had done thrown up anything at all?

@VenusStarr im so very sorry to read this. Life is so ridiculously unfair sometimes. You deserve that glass of wine x

@treesall glad you've got some answers! How are you feeling about it all?

@Badlydrawngirly it's not childish at all. We can all totally understand. It's not just the announcement either, it's having to see their pregnancy develop (probably and hopefully) normally when that just seems so impossible for us. Even now, at 30 weeks pregnant, I hate seeing announcements and takes me right back to all those shitty years. I'm grateful to be pregnant, and this far along, of course I am, but selfishly I hate that everyone else seems to get to enjoy their pregnancy and I just spend my whole time thinking 'if he's ok' etc etc knowing he may not be. Seeing those announcements when you're in the TTC zone, particularly with all the treatments and tests etc is totally and utterly soul distorting ❤️

@Tumby I did try to reduce alcohol intake, but I'm of totally honest I did use it as a bit of a vice. I stopped drinking after ovulation, just in case though which became tedious month after month but I was so glad I did when I did get my bfp. I did things like reduce BPA exposure and switched to decaf tea/coffee only, only drank whole milk, ate berries for reducing oxidative stress on eggs (and sperm as for DH to too), took various supplements + DH too etc etc, had acupuncture and reflexology. No idea if any of it helped (I actually think the acupuncture did though) but at the time it made me feel like I was doing something at least and had some vague control over the situation, even if realistically it probably didn't make any difference. In the back of my mind was always 'most people do not do this and get pregnant/stay pregnant easily' though.

@NImama I actually said after my last loss (third) that was it for me and we would try and adopt. We decided to give it one more go just because we had a bit of a gap before we could apply for adoption due to when we relocated from England to Scotland, and also I had some pred left to start taking after ovulation (previous pregnancy I started taking it too late). I did get pregnant that month and still going now at 30 weeks, but I think if this doesn't work this time I think that's it for us (biologically at least). It's such a difficult thing to keep putting yourself through and you never know if it will be worth it or it's worth exploring other avenues.

Sorry to hear all those who are having to see friends be pregnant etc. That sounds so horrible x

Thanks @Daffodil21 can I ask where you learnt about the supplements and diet changes? All of that sounds totally manageable! I think I need to give us some time to get on proper supplements and let them build up. It’s so great to hear you’re at 30 weeks. Just amazing and gives all of us hope! I can totally imagine the fear never leaves you. One week at a time is probably the only way! X

@NImama I think it's supposed to take 3 months for both male and female supplements to have an effect. Most of the info I got was from the book called 'it starts with the egg'. It has sections in it for recurrent mc, IVF etc so it's was really helpful. I'm attaching my supplement list in case you're interested. My DH also took Proceive men max (the powder one you mix with water), some COQ10 and a couple of other things too which I can't remember, but it said it in the male section of that book. Then I sent him to work with a mix of berries (particularly blueberries) everyday, and he also cut caffeine. Of course I have no idea if this all helped. I think the acupuncture and steroids did the job tbh, but we also did see an improvement in his sperm morphology after he had been taking the proceive (we didn't have a test after then so no idea if the other supplements etc helped).

I did feel like I rattled a bit though! I took the floradix with the extra b vitamins because I read that b vits can help regulate periods.

Again, I really can't say if any of this helped but if we are lucky enough to have to this baby I will be doing exactly the same the second time round!