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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Gay Midwives

340 replies

LozzaT12 · 07/10/2020 00:21

Hi everyone, I’m a first year student midwife, I’m female and I’m attracted to women. I’m so grateful to have gotten my place at uni, never been happier, and I can’t wait to start my journey.
However, in the past few months I’ve spoken to old friends from school and many were shocked that someone who is gay is going into this profession. Many people have said it’s as weird as having a male midwife, some have straight up called it a bit creepy and that they would request someone else.
I’d never thought about it in any such way until this started and honestly it’s really shaken me and I want to know people opinions.
Would you not want me in the room? What comes to mind when you read this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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BIWI · 07/10/2020 08:53

Sorry - format fail there! That's a quote from the OP

2beautifulbabs · 07/10/2020 08:53

It would never have bothered me at all my DS was delivered by a male consultant.
When I had my DD there was a mixture of men and women C section and to be honest I really didn't care my only ever concern was for my unborn baby not what sex the person was helping me deliver my baby or what sexual preference they had.
From my own personal experience all I truly ever cared about was making sure I was getting the right medical care for both myself and my unborn baby not about who was providing that care so long as your good at your job what does it matter all the best op I'm sure you'll make a fantastic midwife ignore your mates

Qwertywerty3 · 07/10/2020 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

Mylittlepony374 · 07/10/2020 08:56

I find it hard to believe this is true because it's just so fucking sad if it is. I've had two babies, would not care if midwife was gay, but also, how would I know if she was??? Sexuality didn't come up in any of discussions with my midwives in pregnancy) birth to date.
If it is true, your friends are homophobic fuckwits.

doublehalo · 07/10/2020 08:58

Go Team Lesbians!

ShortFatandDumpy · 07/10/2020 08:58

It will be homophobic that feel this way I guess. The ones that say, I'm not homophobic but....

I have a gay dd considering midwifery and she did say she wondered if many would think negatively.

For me not a problem at all. There are lots of male gynaecologists, in fact after a lifetime of fun as problems I've never had a female gynaecogist. Ice no 8dea 8f the male gynaecol9gists I've seen were gay or straight. Why or how would I?
I'm also a member of the breast lump club and been to breast clinic 5 times. Only once have I seen a female Dr and had no idea of her sexuality, how or why would I?

What I'm trying to say is it's no ones business what your sexuality is and most people won't care. Most of us feel a bit vulnerable when having intimate examinations etc. Regardless of who male, female, gay or straight is doing their job at the business end.
I've actually never considered any medical professionals sexuality tbh.

I just assume everyone's a professional just doing their job.

meow1989 · 07/10/2020 08:58

Would your male friends refuse a female nurse catheterising them? Are they implying the you might assault a female patient because you simply can't control your fiendish urges? Theyre homophones and you would do well to move on from the friendships. Its heartbreaking that you are even concerned about this.

I was basically naked when I was in labour, the consultant/registrar was male and he had to examine me, didnt for a second concern me (not minimising any experiences or trauma experienced by others that might influence not wanting a male to preform intimate examinations, just speaking from my experience). But naked, huge bump and waters leaking, I would challenge anyone to have found me attractive at that point, however if they had, I would expect professionalism and no indication.

Cliff1975 · 07/10/2020 08:58

This is crazy. But are the people saying this people who have never had a baby? Have they even been at a birth yet? They may change their mind when they have. Following this train of thought should female doctors, or gay men doctors not be allowed to examine male patients with issues 'down there'. It has always infuriated me that male pe teachers can go in male changing rooms and women cant and vice versa. This is about profesionalism and the viewpoint is completely homophobic. However, at least your friends have been honest, they just haven't thought it through properly.

loobyloo1234 · 07/10/2020 09:00

You need new friends. This wouldn't bother me in the slightest OP.

Hollywhiskey · 07/10/2020 09:01

The only person whose sexuality I care about is my husband. If I'm not interested in being in a relationship with a person I couldn't care less.

ClementineWoolysocks · 07/10/2020 09:02

Are you going to announce you're gay to all your patients?

Heidi1976 · 07/10/2020 09:03

@LozzaT12

Hi everyone, I’m a first year student midwife, I’m female and I’m attracted to women. I’m so grateful to have gotten my place at uni, never been happier, and I can’t wait to start my journey. However, in the past few months I’ve spoken to old friends from school and many were shocked that someone who is gay is going into this profession. Many people have said it’s as weird as having a male midwife, some have straight up called it a bit creepy and that they would request someone else. I’d never thought about it in any such way until this started and honestly it’s really shaken me and I want to know people opinions. Would you not want me in the room? What comes to mind when you read this?

I had a straight male midwife during labour, didn't think it was weird at all. A lot gynae surgeons/consultants are men, most nurses who do smears are women. If you are a midwife it's because you like babies and that whole process. I can't understand how anyone has made out to make it a sexual thing.....it's the least sexual process in the entire world!! I'd be highly annoyed at my friends to be honest.

PolarBearStrength · 07/10/2020 09:05

As a midwife, I’ve never once had to announce my sexuality to a client. Some midwives are more open then others about their personal lives when chatting with clients but that’s an entirely personal decision. I don’t really consider myself to have a fixed ‘sexuality’ as such. I guess I’m bisexual but it’s not something I’ve put a lot of thought into. I’m married to a man but I’ve dated women, it’s no big deal to me.

Sarahandco · 07/10/2020 09:06

How would anyone know what your sexuality is? I did not know the sexuality of my midwife and can tell you 100% it would be the furthest question from my mind!

It Is is a bit creepy that your friends have considered this as they obviously think you may be attracted to your clients? There are male (heterosexual)dr, nurses and midwives involved in childbirth.

Joeblack066 · 07/10/2020 09:06

Has made my day seeing all the positive responses to OP! You go girl, and ignore your small minded “friends”!

Kittykat93 · 07/10/2020 09:09

Most of my gynaecologists have been male. I don't think they are getting turned on operating on/examining my downstairs... Why would I think a midwife would be turned on by watching me give birth? That's so utterly ridiculous and quite sick tbh. If this is real your friends are insane and really odd.

GameSetMatch · 07/10/2020 09:10

When my son was being born I wouldn’t of cared if you were a 5 headed alien I just wanted the pain to stop!

Who cares who you’re attracted too, it’s not like you are going to announce it to each patient anyway. My SIL had a male midwife she didn’t care, I don’t know many people who care. What’s the difference between a gay doctor or a straight one... same with midwives.

FairFriday · 07/10/2020 09:12

Trust me - your sexuality would have been beyond the last thing on my mind when in labour. Or any other time to be honest. If you are kind and calm, skilled and have an aura of trust and control that’s all the mums care about.

Of course if you had called me a ‘birthing/person’ I would have chased you out of the room with a bedpan.

I think your ‘friends’ are taking the Mickey - a maybe a bit homophobic?

JaneJeffer · 07/10/2020 09:12

All I'd want to know is can you help me get this baby out as quickly and painlessly as possible. Thankfully I'm too old to find out if you can.

russelhobbs · 07/10/2020 09:13

I didn't want a male midwife (I asked for only females) but have no problem at all with a gay female.

mytimeonline · 07/10/2020 09:13

Your passionate enough to want to be a midwife is that not enough
Your sexuality is not a issue nor did I know my midwives
I think it is irrelevant as much as any doctors or nurses.
What is important is your professionally capable and supportive.
You know this right?!

dewisant2020 · 07/10/2020 09:13

My goodness I think you need some new friends who are open minded.
I've been a nurse for many years and most of my colleagues are either lesbian / gay & it's only ever been a problem for our patients on two occasions that I know off.
If people have a problem with your sexuality I'd tell them to go and pay private

FairFriday · 07/10/2020 09:15

Thinking about my labour - I only remember 2 if the midwifes. One could have been gay I suppose. The subject really didn’t come up. I was a bit busy.

If she had been cute I may have tried to set her up with my sister...

Autumnleaves200 · 07/10/2020 09:15

Another person that would not be bothered at all. Until I read this thread I didn’t even think about the sexuality of any of the people who cared for me and my baby.

Although I do kind of want a male midwife next time (if there is one) to compare and contrast after reading this thread.

Good luck with your training!

HandfulofDust · 07/10/2020 09:18

Bloody hell of course it doesn't matter if you're gay. I wouldn't mind a male midwife either. I don't think anyone whatever their sexuality is going to be aroused by the bloody birthing process.

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