Gay Midwives

[LozzaT12]

Hi everyone, I’m a first year student midwife, I’m female and I’m attracted to women. I’m so grateful to have gotten my place at uni, never been happier, and I can’t wait to start my journey.
However, in the past few months I’ve spoken to old friends from school and many were shocked that someone who is gay is going into this profession. Many people have said it’s as weird as having a male midwife, some have straight up called it a bit creepy and that they would request someone else.
I’d never thought about it in any such way until this started and honestly it’s really shaken me and I want to know people opinions.
Would you not want me in the room? What comes to mind when you read this?

Your friends sound like idiots! HCPs don't wear their sexuality status under their name-badges! And even if the patients were to 'know' (assume)..it makes no difference to the care they receive.
FWIW, I had a male midwife. I had no idea about his sexuality nor did I care. He was brilliant and I wish he could have stayed with me throughout.

I wouldn't care one bit. The only thing that would matter to me would be how good at your job you are and how kind you are. Good luck with your studies and seriously consider finding new friends.

I don't think men belong in gynaecology or obstetrics.

I think that's a little unfair. I prefer a female midwife as you need to speak to her about intimate and personal things. You have to be very vul
vulnerable with her and women tend to be more caring (not always)

But I've had a male gynecologist, I had a male surgeon remove my last placenta who was much nicer than the woman who did the 1st one. And 2 male anethatists who were both lovley.

There is absolutely a place for men in female health, but it's just not as a midwife.

Eh?
Why on earth would it even matter, and how the hell would you even know what sexuality your midwife was anyway?!
I've given birth twice and it would never have crossed my mind.
Do they think you're going to fancy everyone giving birth or something?!
Your friends are seriously weird!

Your friends are idiots. Don’t worry about it!

You knowing your way around ladybits would be nothing but a bonus to me. Less likely to be accidentally rough in exams imo.

Unless you had a fetish for unshaved legs or dishevelled pregnant women, whoever you fancy wouldn't bother me a jot.

@LozzaT12

Hi everyone, I’m a first year student midwife, I’m female and I’m attracted to women. I’m so grateful to have gotten my place at uni, never been happier, and I can’t wait to start my journey. However, in the past few months I’ve spoken to old friends from school and many were shocked that someone who is gay is going into this profession. Many people have said it’s as weird as having a male midwife, some have straight up called it a bit creepy and that they would request someone else. I’d never thought about it in any such way until this started and honestly it’s really shaken me and I want to know people opinions. Would you not want me in the room? What comes to mind when you read this?

As long as you're kind and supportive, I wouldn't give a toss if you were from Mars with 10 heads. Mums to be and new mums just need support, they won't care if you're gay. Your friends sound like arseholes.

That's interesting. I hadn't even considered that a gay midwife would make any difference at all to their treatment of me, or my relationship with them.

After DD was born I realised our midwife was gay (I saw her with her partner in Waitrose) - even at the point I didn't consider it from the angle of her having treated me, it was something like "oh she's gay, that's mildly interesting"... End of thought.

Who would even know??
Or care?...

Just because someone is gay doesn't mean that that are thinking 'Phwooarrrr!!!!' every time they see someone of the same sex.

Wouldn't bother me one bit.

Male GP, male gynaecologist, male obstetrician male breast cancer specialist. I wouldn't give it a second thought. Tell them you are a professional as are the above listed. You are not the problem. They are.

Massive congratulations on your new career. It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.

Have you had enough replies for your research now @LozzaT12?

It might be interesting to ask them whuch other jobs they think would be inappropriate for a gay woman to do, and why? Really odd response.

I can't see what effect your sexuality would have on your ability to do your job. Please don't listen to your "friends" they are talking crap.

I am amazed that your friends would say this to you in this way, surely they know you well enough to know you will do a good job etc. What they are insinuating is hurtful and bigoted . But I am also a bit surprised that as part of your thinking about the role this likely attitude hasn't entered your head at all, perhaps it is good to have had to think about this to ensure you safeguard yourself and are prepared for any discrimination against you down the line.

What @ArcheryAnnie said. It implies that all gay people are a sexual threat who will exploit any situation they can for sexual gratification. Proper old-skool homophobia. I can't think of a less sexual situation than childbirth and I can't imagine caring about anything other than getting the baby out when in labour. Have your friends had kids?

Plus, lesbians have babies too.

Good luck!

Your friends sound a bit immature tbh. Good luck with your studies!

When i was in labour i couldn't have given a toss if you'd have come in wearing a clown costume juggling balls blowing a whistle as long as you had the drugs 🤣

To be honest i think you need new friends, you are there to do a job at the end of the day whether you are gay/straight/yellow/from mars and your sexuality shouldn't have anything to do with your role.

@BIWI

Have you had enough replies for your research now *@LozzaT12*?

Journo?

Your friends said they would request someone other than a lesbian midwife?

I would request new friends!

How creepy of them to view you as a midwife in that way. And deeply homophobic.

What I wanted in labour was a skilled knowledgable midwife who had the empathy to use their knowledge in a way that gave me confidence and support.

Good luck with your training.

I've had 2 DC and been looked after by many midwives in that time, I wouldn't be able to tell you what the sexual preference of any of those women is, it's not something that comes up in conversation.

Not a problem in the slightest.

I wouldnt worry as im not sure how someone would even know what the sexual preferences of their midwife would be. It wouldnt even cross my mind, as long as the person knows what they are doing and has a calming manner that makes me feel safe during the birth thats all that matters.
In the same way I didnt bat an eyelid at being internally examined by a male doctor to try to identify why sex was still painful a while after giving birth. He is qualified to do the examination and acted professionally throughout.
I think you need to ignore your friends, good luck in your career as Im sure it will be very rewarding.

I'm sorry your friends made you feel bad. I don't think your sexuality should come into it! It didn't cross my mind about the sexuality of the midwives looking after me when I was in labour. I just cared about being looked after properly & my baby arriving safely into the word! It's no one else's business anyway! Good luck with your profession!

@Franticbutterfly

^I’d never thought about it in any such way until this started and honestly it’s really shaken me and I want to know people opinions.
Would you not want me in the room? What comes to mind when you read this?^

Sounds like it to me.