Gender disappointment! Please help!

[Sammy234567]

I dont know why i’m feeling so emotional as i learnt that my second child we are expecting will be a girl as we already have a girl.

I was desperately hoping for a boy! I always thought we have one of each we can be over and done with as i will never think what it would be like to have a boy or a girl.

Yesterday I found myself so upset and crying over this and i understand if people are judgemental and think it’s not the end of the world. I will come to terms with it eventually and wish I didnt feel like this.

I’ve been trying not to talk to my husband about this as he’s happy we are having another girl and I don’t want him to think i’m ungrateful.

Growing up I was one of many sisters and never had a brother and always wanted a son. I just don’t think i can go for a third child after this in the hope for a boy.

Has anybody else been through a similar feeling? Please advise x

You just need to get over it.

OP you should consider yourself lucky to even be pregnant. Do you know how many infertile or struggling couples out there would give their left arms for a baby, no matter what its gender? Get a grip.

Give yourself a break and let yourself feel how you feel. But know that you will love this little girl who will be an individual- a person first and foremost regardless of sex.

I have two girls and wanted a son before I had them. But now I can barely remember why. You love the children you have.

I wish my first pregnancy had got as far as a scan that would reveal the sex. You are being ridiculous.

What do you think a boy will provide you that a girl won't?

Harsh - I’m sure op knows that.
It doesn’t make her feelings any less valid. Lots of people experience it and some talk about it and others don’t!
You will absolutely not care when the baby is here and you won’t be able to imagine your life without her - she’ll be different to your first child in lots of ways -just because they are the same sex they will be different wonderful people. You’ll wonder why you even felt this way - but be kind to yourself and ignore those that have nothing kind to say x

I understand the feeling that you want 'one of each' but i think that's a bit selfish.... When you have two same sex siblings they usually have a better relationship (in my experience) particularly when growing up.

Please don't try for a third because you want a boy, you could end up with another girl and no child deserves to be born already a disappointment.

On the plus side you might not need to buy as much?

Someone's going to come along in a minute to tell you "It's sex, not gender".

But "Sex disappointment! Please help!" may have looked like a whole different thread...

You will get over this feeling once she's born - till then fake happy feelings. This is really not something reasonable to feel bad about. It was always 50 50!

I’m not going to judge you. I’ve no right to. I’ve never been in your position of gender preference.

I suppose when you do have a preference it’s better to find out what you’re having then you have half the pregnancy to hope and the other half to get used to the idea.
Don’t get me wrong on Mumsnet a thread can go anyway but I’d say prepare yourself and get your hard hat ready. Gender preference can upset a lot of people

You’re brave posting this in AIBU!

It’s nice seeing someone disappointed it’s a girl for a change though, virtually every disappointment I’ve seen involves boys.

You really have no clue how bloody lucky you are.

@juicylemon

What do you think a boy will provide you that a girl won't?

a baby boy has a deadly aim when you change a nappy, many occassion i've had an eyeful, literally baby girls can't do that !

Are you really this silly? Have you been on MN long? lots of threads of women struggling to conceive and you’re in tears at a 2nd healthy girl, calm yourself and thank
your lucky stars.

It’s normal and will most likely fade completely once she’s here so don’t give yourself too much of a hard time.

People who get pregnant after years of struggle and infertility aren’t immune to gender disappointment either 🤷‍♀️

It’s not gender, it’s sex. Please learn the difference.

The sex of the baby is determined by your husband’s sperm.

You should be grateful for a second healthy pregnancy. Why did you assume you’d have a boy and a girl? You don’t get to choose.

The people on this thread are the kind of people that tell you you can't dislike a certain food because there's kids starving in Africa

It’s completely fine to feel this way and grieve for what you will not have have.

There are many positives to having two of the same gender which I’m sure you already know.

Take some time to feel what you need to feel and then embrace your wonderful news.

@JalapenoDave

OP you should consider yourself lucky to even be pregnant. Do you know how many infertile or struggling couples out there would give their left arms for a baby, no matter what its gender? Get a grip.

unfortunately this is right and you do need to grow up and get over yourself for your poor daughter's sake

I see these threads and wonder what people were thinking when they had sex to conceive a baby?? It’s a lottery. Don’t conceive if you don’t want the risk.

@Sexnotgender

Seriously? Never heard of China? Or the massive problem worldwide of aborting girls because they're girls?

OP, it doesnt matter what other people's experiences are. You'll get a pile on from people telling you they would just love to get pregnant so how dare you but that's nothing to do with you. That's their feelings. You are allowed your own feelings about your own life.

You've built up a life in your head with a boy and a girl, and it will take a little while to let go of that image and be happy about the reality. You wont love her any less, and you wont be holding her and wishing for something else. This is a momentary blip. Let yourself feel sad over what imagined life, and then you get move on and really feel happy about having a 2nd baby. You'll get there; dont bear yourself up over a few days of sadness.

It's fine to feel this way-and I speak as someone who had a scan with news no one wants to hear.

I wasn't bothered with two of mine, but for some reason was really bothered with one. I don't know why.
Once the baby is out, you really won't mind, but it's fine to be disappointed.

Don't do the whole Henry VIII thing. You are pregnant, with a healthy baby. Think of your daughter having a sister to confide in and grow up with. That's a truly special bond.

I've had three miscarriages this year crossing my fingers that this month I'll be pregnant. All I want is a healthy baby.

I think you need to get some perspective, this baby will bring so much joy to your life. Cherish every moment, because believe me when life dictates you can't have it, that's the pure hell.

So many typos. Sorry about that!