Rainbow Babies - New Mums Support Thread 1

[MOGMOGMOG85]

Wonderfully supportive thread for anyone pregnant after previous loss

[title edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

@Shefliesonherownwings @Avocuddles it’s not sleeping guidelines but I’ve known people put a folded towel/blanket under the head end of the mattress so baby isn’t completely flat & that can help with reflux.

Having our own feeding issues here. Have finally managed to get a tongue tie referral but it won’t be copied for another 2-3 weeks (thanks again COVID). That, combined with my naturally low supply means I’m breastfeeding, trying to express (which isn’t going well), and topping up with formula. It’s what I had to do with DS but is quite intense, and I really miss DS too! I feel like I’ve had no time with him. It’s not even been 3 weeks yet so I know is very early days but I just miss him a lot, even though I love having our daughter here too & I’m grateful DH is off work and doing lots of things with DS. Think I’m just feeling really overwhelmed. And I know it still get easier but I also do not want to wish time away as time goes far too quickly anyway. Not really sure why I’m writing this tbh. Think I’m just feeling a little low today. Hope everyone is doing ok despite all the difficulties of newborn life (hope some of you are breezing through with no issues!)

@tmc14 sorry you are struggling a bit today... Am sure you will get into a bit of a routine soon which will help you spend more time with DS. Hope that your clinic appointment comes through soon. I remember how hard and tiring it was having to express and feed constantly. Fingers crossed it gets easier for you. As for not knowing why you were writing the message... That's what the group is here for. Sometimes just getting things of your chest by writing a post can help ease your mood. Sending virtual hugs your way x

@SammiLou2312 agree with your point re not knowing why writing a message. I've definitely found that just writing what I'm thinking helps me figure out what I'm feeling and get it off my chest it is like a weight lifted. Its a way of dealing with anxiety I find really helps!

Thanks @SammiLou2312 I’m just feeling really frustrated I think. The fact her transverse lie was missed twice when I said she felt in a funny position, then all the chaos in getting the op done on the right day, the paediatrician saying she didn’t have a tongue tie when she obviously did (revision is on12 November, delayed due to getting a correct diagnosis), the midwife saying my section wound wasn’t infected when it was... I just feel like even without COVID stuff people have just been rubbish & actively held us back. Sorry, that’s really whiny, and I’m so happy to be at home with my family and enjoy our new baby, she really is perfect, & so chilled out! I need to learn from her 🤣
Anyway, she’s gained 400g since last week on the top ups so almost back to birth weight, which is great. That means she’s getting a nice full belly, which is the most important thing. And DH took baby for a walk during a nap yesterday while i played with DS which was just lovely. So I need to just concentrate on the positives, & hopefully I won’t have to deal with many more medical staff.
Hope everyone is doing ok, & thankyou for listening to me complain!

Been a while since I posted but thinking of you all! Lovely seeing all our new arrivals.

Finn is 6 weeks now and is doing amazing. 10lb4oz and our time in NICU seems a million miles away. I still can’t believe he’s mine and I get to keep him. Here he is with his sister Lily’s book xxxx

@Anon20something gorgeous photo, I love how Finn will know & love his big sister xxx

@Anon20something Oh glad to hear you are both doing well! Been thinking about you and a couple others in this group that have been a little quieter lately. No doubt due to the demands of new parenthood! xx

I'm in for ECV today. If this little guy doesn't turn I've section booked next Tuesday.

Seems like a few people have had/are having feeding issues. I’m sorry others have struggled too but it makes me feel less alone to know I’m not the only one. Having spoken to a few friends, all
of them had various issues and a lot moved to mix feeding or exclusive formula early on.

We saw the midwife on Monday and James has lost a bit too much weight so we went on a 3 hour feeding schedule and I kept a diary of what he was having, when and for how long. We have basically been doing one formula in the day and one at night and the rest on the breast. We were back today and he’s the same weight and a tiny bit jaundiced. We’re to keep on the same schedule and back on Friday so I’m hoping he puts weight on by then. If not the midwife mentioned ringing the hospital to speak to a registrar so that freaked me out! I’m not sure whether to do more formula to see if that beefs him up or stick to what we’ve been doing.

I also asked about the coughing/spitting up issue and apparently this is common in section babies because the mucus doesn’t get squeezed out like it does in vaginal births. We’ve been much better at sitting him upright when we give him formula, giving him a break so he doesn’t guzzle it all in one go and then winding him for a good while. So far he’s not had another episode, touch wood.

DH seems to have mastered the art of swaddling too so he will sleep in his Moses basket now if we time it right. It means we can grab a nap here and there at least.

@tmc14 sorry you had so many issues with things not being picked up on. I’ve heard of hospitals offering meetings after births to talk through what happened if parents aren’t happy with the care, not sure if that is something that might help.

Hope everyone else is ok. Xx

10 weeks old today!

How is everyone?

Oh those photos!! @Rachael321 and @Anon20something they are gorgeous!

Only about 5 of us left on the old thread now, it's getting very quiet on there!

I'm due to give birth in less than 5 weeks now, at what looks like the peak of the second wave according to those graphs on yesterdays announcement...

I'm on here for a bit of advice - I plan to use disposable nappies when he is first born and until his belly button heals but then want to incorporate mostly cloth nappies. I've signed up to a nappy library to try out the different types, but I think the library is just for trying out and not intended for full time use. I will have to look at buying my own. But they are SO expensive! My question is how many nappies do I need for a baby who is a few weeks old? How many times a day will he soil/wet them? Also how often do you need to size up, I'm not sure what the available sizes are? It seems so expensive and then I guess you have to get new ones every few months or whenever they move up to the next size... Anyone who is using cloth nappies, or even your experiences of disposables, I'd be happy to hear about it!

Thanks xxx

Morning all, sorry I've been quiet lately... Things have been a bit hectic at home trying to get stuff sorted and Amelia has been super clingy this past week or so (think she has been having a growth spurt as we are now well and truly into 0-3 clothes and no longer fit newborn). Been having real issues trying to organise our 8 week check up appointments and her jabs...my doctors only have a nurse booked for the baby clinic and we have to both be seen by a doctor before the nurse. Baby clinic is on Thursday this week coming and still not got docs appointments sorted grrr. Also got to take Amelia for hip scans at the hospital on Wednesday to check for issues as I have hip problems. Really not looking forward to this week tbh. Still having issues with latching. We have been trying to wean off the nipple shields but she just can't get a decent latch and when she does latch its usually not great and only for a few seconds before she starts to struggle with my flow rate being too fast for her. So...we are sticking to the shields for now I think. At least I know she can feed with them and is gaining weight.
@Shefliesonherownwings I hope your issues improve soon.

@MOGMOGMOG85 we are using disposables but started on tiny baby size and are now in size one at 8 weeks. I think we may need to move up again in next couple of weeks but will know better once she has been weighed next week as they base the size recommendations on weight. We can go through anywhere between 8 and 12 nappies in a day (depends on whether she pees on the new one while I'm trying to change her lol) as I try to change her quite regularly to avoid nappy rash. She went through tonnes as a new born. I think the recommendation is change after every feed plus if baby is upset and needs changing in between. I think @Knotemma is using cloth nappies so might be able to give some advice about those.

@Rachael321 and @Anon20something beautiful pics xx

Hope everyone is doing ok and making nice memories...attached are a couple of pics from Amelia's first Halloween. We didn't do anything but it was only right she got an outfit for it lol 😆

Hi all, I have a question. I’ve been feeling unwell the past few days and wondered if anyone has experienced this.

I’ve been suffering night sweat which I understand is normal but since yesterday I’ve also had the worst chills and shivers. I’m wrapped up with a hot water bottle now and fleece and still shivering. I’m also achy and super thirsty but am struggling to eat as I feel sick.

I thought it could be mastitis as I’ve moved from breastfeeding to expressed milk and formula, but my breasts look fine, no redness or sore bits. I thought it was just exhaustion as we’ve had a couple of bad nights but it’s getting worse.

Anyone else experienced this? I’m wondering if I should call the midwife or gp tomorrow to get checked out.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I'm using cloth, currently still part time because I don't want to put too much pressure on myself. I wrote you a big long post with links, but MN didn't post it 😭🤷‍♀️

So basically to do cloth cheap go for flats and covers. You can get 6 Terry's from dudu and girlie on Amazon for about £7. I'd say to use them full time you want 24, so 4 packs. You will also need covers, I'd go for 6 (you only need to swap them out it they get poop on them, if they're just wet you can dry them inside with a bit of kitchen towel and reuse) Alva baby make a "one size" cover that fit Samuel from about 5 weeks, but he's a chunky monkey. Alva is a great place for cheap covers and pockets, but I have to admit I'm not a fan of their bamboo inserts, they just aren't absorbent enough for my boy, though he does wee for England. Check and see if you can hire from a nappy library, you should be able to hire for a few weeks so you can work out what works for you.
I also went with cloth wipes, I bought a big piece of fleece fabric from poundfabrics.com washed it a few times and just cut it up into squares. I have a tub of water with a bit of baby wash in and I just dip each wipe as I need it, way more effective than wet wipes!

Have a look on YouTube for some flat folds, I use the origami and it works really well for us. You'll also need.some nappy nippers, they're so much less scary than pins!

Hey ladies!

Just a quick update to say that baby Conor arrived safely yesterday via elective caesarean so I'm officially joining this graduate group. He's super chilled so far but I know that will change! Just counting down the hours until DH comes back to hospital again. Then I might get some kip and stop sitting here staring at our baby all the time in case he disappears 😂

Congratulations @AnxiousLady1 and welcome to graduates group 🥰
Hope you are both doing well. Try to rest up while you can... Although I can say in my experience, the whole staring at baby thing doesn't really go away - I still do it and Amelia is officially 2 months old today 😱😂

Hi all sorry I've been quiet! Waiting for my gallbladder op next week and generally busy with the little one, but doing well on the whole....

@Shefliesonherownwings I had awful night sweats and shivers over the first few weeks post birth, it seemed to subside around three weeks. There's never any harm in seeking some advice - mastitis seems unlikely if you don't have breast pain but I'd still get checked out just in case.

@MOGMOGMOG85 nappy sizing completely depends on the weight and shape of the baby. My experience is with disposables, I haven't tried reusables yet though do intend to. India is still in size 1 at 7 weeks, she'll probably move up to size 2 in the next week or two as her legs are getting chubby! The brand of nappy will also make a difference as they're all cut slightly differently. I personally prefer Asda nappies over pampers as they seem to fit her better and they are WAY cheaper, I've also heard really good things about Aldi and Lidl nappies but don't have either particularly near me unfortunately. We get through probably 8-10 a day on average, sometimes a few more.
Really looking forward to you joining the graduate team very soon!

@SammiLou2312 I love the Halloween photos, gorgeous! The little bat is one of the cutest things I've ever seen! I'm glad Amelia is growing though sorry you're still struggling with feeding, I always knew it wouldn't necessarily be straight forward but don't think I comprehended quite how tough it actually would be.... We're still mostly in newborn clothes (around 9lb at 7 weeks) but just starting to wear some 0-3 ones.

@AnxiousLady1 congratulations!!! Hope you are both doing well and are back home soon.

Sharing some photos of India just because she's cute

How's everyone fairing with the fireworks and newborns this evening? 🙈

I was released from hospital 23 hours after surgery which seems nuts but at the time I was just happy to go home. Still super tender but I am only little more than 48 hours post Op so I guess I need to give it more time. Feeding seems to be going okay despite still waiting for my milk to come in. The Colustrum seems to be keeping him happy and I can barely get him off my nipples. Much to the detriment of my nipples which are super sore already- clearly have latch issues so will discuss when community midwife visits. I tried some nipples shields this evening thinking they wouldn't work as milk still not in, but I almost cried when baby did at the thought of putting my nipples through the runner again. Low and behold they worked. He was SO determined he was getting something out of there regardless. 🙈 Hopefully I can continue to use them for a bit and sort the latch out before I do my boobs any further mischief.

@AnxiousLady1 congratulations on Conner's arrival!

Have a look at some laid back feeding videos on YouTube, there are some be Nancy M.... Something that are brilliant! Saved our breastfeeding journey! I also strongly recommend cold Savoy cabbage leaves in the bra and multi-mam compresses for sore nipples!

@AnxiousLady1 it sounds like you're doing a great job with feeding, it took several days before I could get India to latch on at all! My milk didn't come in properly until day 7 which made things very tough and meant she lost quite a bit of weight, I'm not sure if it was due to having a c section or the fact that she was jaundiced and lethargic, but once it came through properly it was so much easier and I haven't needed the nipple cream for weeks as she now feeds so gently, such a contrast from the incredibly painful (and frankly soul destroying) experience of the first few weeks.
If you are on Facebook I would recommend following Lucy Webber Breastfeeding - she has many different videos and tips which I've found very helpful. Your midwife will hopefully be able to help with the latch, or may arrange for a breastfeeding support worker to come and visit. I certainly got used to having various health professional manhandling my boobs in those first weeks but it's all worth it!

As well as the compresses mentioned by @Knotemma I'd also recommend these - they were a godsend around the point that my milk came in and everything was incredibly sore!

Rite Aid Hydrogel Gel Breast Discs (x12) - Helps Heal Cracked Sore Nipples in Breastfeeding https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01FDTH9LA/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_YEtPFbGBC41XE

Thanks for the tips @Knotemma and @Avocuddles. My milk came in yesterday (the rock hard boobs were unexpected despite what I was told!). Continuing to use the shields as my nipples are so sore. Feeding are all fine so far which is good. Other than fact my nipples are about to fall off. 🙈 Now that I think of it though, the difference in nappies as soon as feeds changed to milk was immediately different. Like I was barely finishing a feed and could actually hear him make an explosive nappy deposit. Like it was going right through him. Think that's settled down now. I panicked he'd diahorrea or something but must be an adjustment to the diet/milk change.

For those of you that had sections - I'm a bit perplexed by the healing. I seem to have developed purplish red bruising below incision site that wasn't there yesterday. Caught me by surprise this morning. Wound etc still dry. Not sure whether it's normal blood flow pooling or if I should get it checked out.

Thanks @Avocuddles, it turns out my c section wound got infected, I noticed it had opened up and had some pus oozing out of it so I’m on antibiotics now. I’m feeling much better than I was earlier in the week.

However my post natal care has been terrible. When I rang my gp about it, they refused to see me because I had a temperature despite having no other Covid symptoms. As DH said, I’ve just had a major operation and with my symptoms they should have been thinking of an infection or sepsis, not refusing to see me. I ended up going back to hospital and spent hours in maternity triage who said they could find nothing wrong and sent me home. When I noticed the pus the next day and rang the hospital again they told me it was all normal! In the end DH and I paid for a private gp appointment who confirmed it was infected and dressed it for me. When I told the HV all about it, she was appalled. I’m considering writing a complaint to the gp and hospital. I’m just thankful we were in a position to be able to afford to pay for a private appointment.

In other news James is gaining weight and has now exceeded his birth weight so the midwives discharged us. He has a tiny bit of jaundice still in his eyes but the HV is keeping an eye on that. He’s basically formula fed now because my supply seems to be drying up. A combination of being ill, running around to appointments and the hospital and a few bad nights with James only settling on me, has meant I haven’t had time to express much so I think I’m coming to the end of the breast milk journey. I’m sad but he’s had a couple of weeks of the good stuff and he’s gaining weight well on formula which is the main thing. I just feel I have sort of let him down by not getting the breastfeeding to work and now the expressing has gone to pot too.

@shefliesonherownwings That is appalling!!! How could they even suggest pus coming from the wound is normal?! It's the one question I keep getting asked by people checking mine. And to not be checked by a doc due to a temperature. Unbelievable. Glad you caught it when you did and have the antibiotics to sort it.

On the breast feeding- at least James got those initial few weeks. I've not set myself a target timeline as I know it could go any way. I've always said if I even managed to do it for few days I'd be happy simply for the benefits those initial feedings could pass on. So be proud that with recovery from C section and following infection etc you still powered through and gave James that. xx

@AnxiousLady1 I've been lucky with my section healing, no issues at all. It did look a bit purple and bruised for some time so probably a normal thing if there's no weeping but no harm in getting it looked at - do you have any midwife appointments coming up?
We still have explosive poops at 7 weeks! She does very loud wet farts after every feed, there's a bit of poo in pretty much every nappy but she'll typically do three or four really big ones a day. Regular like her mum 😆

@Shefliesonherownwings glad you've got antibiotics, it sounds like the standard care you were receiving was dire, definitely worth writing a complaint letter to get it off your chest though I'd say based on my previous experience of complaining re a potentially very serious situation around my own health the likelihood of getting more than a very standard non-apology letter back might be slim....
It's great that James is above birth weight, I'm a big believer that the most important thing is a fed baby and whilst I am still breastfeeding (somewhat to my surprise given how tough things were at first) I get so annoyed at the evangelical approach of some breastfeeding mums (and midwives) that unfairly makes so many women feel guilty simply for feeding their baby. You've certainly not let him down, you're doing a brilliant job in spite of having faced multiple challenges, and the fact that he is growing and thriving is testament to that....

Thanks @avocuddles! Had a midwife check this morning and she said it all looked normal. Quite a bit of bruising but she pointed out I've not been taking many painkillers and advised I take more ibuprofen to reduce the bruising etc. She ask as really happy with his weight as well as he's lost about 5% so I'm happy he's getting enough milk into him for now. Although he'd me up all night last night and nothing was curbing his appetite. I think the issue is he falls asleep on the breast and it a difficult to wake him again unless we do a clothing or nappy change. Or put him back down in cot - THEN he's awake and demanding feeding again 🙈

The explosive nappies 😂😂 Cant keep him in nappies long enough!! We've been lucky so far in that he's not been sick or had reflux. All his clothing changes are due to explosive nappies. Think the disposables we have are a little big on him.

@AnxiousLady1 and @Shefliesonherownwings lets keep in touch over our c-section wounds! I am hugely anxious about mine as I've only had one minor surgery in the past and that took me 6 months recover from due to repeated infections. With that one it was on my back and a nurse removed my stitches and (presumably) saw the wound open up and pus come out but told me i was fine to go. It was only an anxious colleague who asked to check my back that day who said to me "wtf you need to go to hospital!!!".

I am scared of terrible after care and what happened to you sounds insane @shefliesonherownwings!!!!! At least I can see this wound, which is a help.

I'm probably not giving myself the best chances of healing what with my low sleep levels and worrying about Errol, but it is what it is and really I am more concerned for him than for myself. I know I will heal, it just might take aaaaaaaaaages.

My dressing comes off Tuesday - @AnxiousLady1 you had your section the day before me so presumably yours should come off today - how did you see under it? xxxx