Rainbow Babies - New Mums Support Thread 1

[MOGMOGMOG85]

Wonderfully supportive thread for anyone pregnant after previous loss

[title edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

@AnxiousLady1 I was totally up for having it... This was the first opportunity and I should have still been pregnant, I was when I booked for it on Wednesday 😂 my pregnancy timing was just a bit all over the place for it! I'll still be looking to get it now I'm not pregnant, with having the tiny one here with us!

@Anon20something the wriggling and pecking are adorable...when it isn't 4 am 😂. His last "night" feed has been about the half 4-5 mark the last 2 days and that must then be "daytime" milk, because I can't get him back to sleep after that feed. So I'm going to try to go to bed after his last evening feed with him tonight at about half 7 in an attempt for some sleep

@SammiLou2312 I'm using laninsoh, it's really helped prevent any chapping or cracking, but hasn't done much for the discomfort. I think it's a combo of not enough sleep, long feeds so short breaks and a baby with a tiny mouth 😂 the breastfeeding support midwife is coming today so hopefully she can give me some pointers 🤷‍♀️. I'm definitely in agreement on the many muslins, unfortunately he doesn't spit up until I lie him down, even after really long winding sessions... So then the bedding gets it 😂

Glad to hear all you new mums are doing fine! 😄 just a quick question, are you all demand feeding in the beginning? If yes, how often do they want to feed roughly, is it every 2 or 3 hours? Do they sleep for longer at night and will they wake up when they're hungry themselves or do you have to set a timer?

Just wondering what I have to look forward to haha!

@Knotemma I get the whole tiny mouth thing lol... Properly giggled the other day when I was feeding her...I looked down to check she was still latched properly and physically couldn't see her head for my boob it was so big and engorged haha

@SunStruck I was recommended to do baby led feeding at first but Amelia wasn't feeding very well and lost too much weight in first 3 days. Ended up with her not getting any wet or dirty nappies for almost 24 hours and she was just sleeping all the time and not waking for feeds so I called for midwife to check her. They recommended feeding her on a schedule, every 2 hours from 6am to midnight and then at 3am and 6am during night. I would literally have to strip her off completely to try wake her up and then feed her plus typing her up with syringes for what the call dream feeds (basically slowly giving her milk from the syringes while she slept / ducked on my finger to make her think she was feeding properly). She has settled a little more now and tends to wake up every 2-3 hours for feeding

@SunStruck I'm demand feeding but set a backup timer for every 3 hours, because he's quite small he doesn't have much of a margin to lose weight, so I was advised 3 hours as a maximum. He would sometimes happily go longer if I let him, so I just have an alarm set up in my phone called feed Samuel that I adjust at the start of each feed to go off when the next one will be due. Most of the time he's demanding now though, which is good.
@SammiLou2312 I don't know what to do with a this boob 😂I'm normally a c cup... I was up to a DD before engorgement so I dread to think how big they are now

@SunStruck I’m demand feeding, just making it up as I go along! If I think he looks hungry I try to get him to latch on which takes ages and we both get drenched (need lots of Muslins!) but we get there in the end! I just go with the flow, if he hasn’t fed for a while and isn’t ready I won’t wake him but I express a bit to take the pressure off my sore boobs!

Thanks @Knotemma! That makes sense. My brain immediately jumped to "maybe I should reconsider this flu jab" 🙈 No against any vaccines at all, but I equally didn't do my research on this one!

Reading about all your breastfeeding stories is making me think I've a lot more reading/learning to do!!

I think we need to remember that the baby needs to learn how to feed as well as us. I thought they were born knowing but apparently not!

I also wanted to say breastfeeding gets a million times easier than these early days and you really are doing an amazing thing. Keep going super mums!!!

As for muslins, I used to hide one behind each cushion on the sofa and each pillow on the bed so they were always around to hand.

@AnxiousLady1 I think it's just a lot... But I've just had a visit from the maternity care assistant, who specialises in breastfeeding and she's just told me I'm doing really well. It's amazing how much validation you can get from a short conversation with the right person. I definitely think doing your research is a good idea, especially for those first few nights because they're "putting in their order" so they are all over you a lot. Mine is currently milk drunk 😂

@Knotemma I love milk drunk face 🥰😂

@SammiLou2312 that's amazing! I've got lots done today from underneath this monkey 😂.

@footprintsintheslow you make a really good point that the babies are learning too, it's all so new to them. Yes they have instinct and reflex but they have to learn all the things too x

We are finally home! 🎉

@SammiLou2312 I'll admit I was unsure what milk drunk looked like. Your pic definitely gave me a better visual! That's amazing!

@Anon20something Fantastic news!!! So pleased for you!!!

@Anon20something so happy for you xx

Thanks ladies for answering my feeding questions! Now let's see when His Highness is ready to make an appearance - I want wine and charcuterie!!! 🤣🤣🤣

And please keep the pictures coming... they're all so beautiful ❤️

Finn’s milk drunk face yesterday!

Absolutely loving being home, but are any of you ladies still terrified? I can’t stop checking on him and I’m pretty much just making it up as I go along... anyone else wishing there was an instruction manual?!

Henry's milk drunk face...
Just popping by to say hello, still a bit all over the place for me still struggling a bit. Seems to be a trend where my mood really dips on a Sunday for some reason and I'm at war with the world! Not helped by a family bereavement at the weekend on DH side.

Glad to see more joining this thread now, congratulations ladies!!! Also glad to see finn is home @Anon20something

Hi all! I've been an emotional wreck the past couple of days but finally taking a breather and enjoying catching up on everyone's stories.

It’s been a tough, emotional rollercoaster few days. India’s jaundice is better now and her blood tests all back to ‘normal’ so we were so hopeful that we’d be heading home at last today, but unfortunately when they weighed her last night there was concern that she’s lost far too much weight - a frankly impossible 24%! I’m not surprised that she's lost weight as I myself said for the first couple of days that I didn’t feel that there was anything coming through my breasts at all, but none of it made any sense to the doctors when she seems healthy and well hydrated with nothing of concern in her bloods now that the jaundice is sorted. There was some confusion over her birth weight so basically it turns out that no one is really clear on how much she has actually lost - what a farce! Her initial weight in the theatre was under 6lb 10oz but they said that there was an issue with those scales so went and reweighed her using different equipment which was when her weight was agreed as a somewhat higher 8lb 1! The doctors now suspect her actual birth weight WAS sub 7lb in which case her weight loss would be a perfectly normal 7%. Either way I felt like a bit of a failure for not having been sustaining her properly. We turned a corner breastfeeding wise yesterday but I gave her bottled formula throughout the night to ensure she was definitely getting enough, then she's spent pretty much the entire day today on the boob so fingers crossed her weigh in tonight will show improvement. I really hope we'll be on the way home in the morning, I'll have been in for a whole week and am desperate to spend time with my husband and crack on with family life....

Re cluster feeding I am definitely experiencing that at the moment and it's draining in multiple ways! For those of you whose milk has come in properly, how much bigger are your boobs now? Trying to anticipate what size nursing bras I should invest in as definitely will need more if things work out!

Baby photo just because she's gorgeous.... 💕

Hi all,
I'm hopping on now baby has arrived ❤

@Treaclepie19 massive congratulations, can't wait to hear more when you've got settled in with baby xx

@Avocuddles that sounds massively frustrating. I'm not being funny but unless India is in 0-3 month clothes there there's no way she was over 8lb at birth! Not unless she came out looking like a sumo anyway!

I should be asleep, next feed doesn't need to be until 5, but I'm wide awake. I've had the dreaded hormone crash today, literally went from feeling awesome, pottering around vacuuming and doing little jobs between feeds to ugly crying while trying to get Samuel to latch. After yesterday's really positive visit from the maternity support team I've gotten totally in my own head, because for most of his feeds this afternoon he wouldn't eat for more than about 10 minutes, when they told me we need to be aiming for 40 minutes before swapping boobs. So I'm massively engorged, my child (who up until the half 12 feed today has been completely content, has to be woken up for every feed, is going through nappies like no one's business and seems to be eating really well) has had a couple of screaming fits over me trying to get him to eat more. If anything I think I'm on the verge of an over supply, if I put the hakkaa on I'm getting 1-2 Oz's in about 10 minutes with no stimulation, so there's clearly plenty of milk for him. He gets weighted tomorrow and if he hasn't lost too much from his birth weight I'm just going to go back what we were doing before because it was working for us 🤷‍♀️.

@Treaclepie19 welcome to the graduates group and congratulations!

@Avocuddles hope you manage to get some resolution soon about India's weight. It should rediculous that they can't tell what she weighed at birth.

@Knotemma hope your hormones level out a bit today. I have had a few ugly cry sessions over feeding / Amelia screaming during the middle of the night for no apparent reason (done all the checks and can't find anything wrong but she wouldn't stop crying). The next morning everything anyways seems so much better though. If your milk has only recently come in, you will have an over supply but this should level out as Samuel feeds to meet his demand. I've been told that as long as she is feeding for between 5 and 40 mins and is getting plenty of wet / dirty nappies Amelia is fine. I would have thought 40 mins on each boob every time would be a tad much. Might be worth asking again about that advice. I've kinda taken the approach now of its advice... We will bear it in mind bit as long as Amelia is gaining weight and seems happy and healthy we will do what works for us. Try not to stress too much about it... You got this mummy!!

@SammiLou2312 thank you, I really needed to hear/,read that this morning! You're right, it's all advice, there's no hard and fast rules and as long as he's happy and healthy nothing at all else matters xx

@Knotemma @SammiLou2312 feeding really is such a minefield. I'm beating myself up this morning because she had to take some formula in the night - she was cluster feeding on me all the way through until 2am but when it came to the early morning feed she wouldn't entertain it at all and the midwife on the ward steered me towards giving her a small amount of formula again just to ensure she keeps hitting the feeding frequency targets the doctors here are looking for. I've got no issue with formula feeding her if it's the right thing to do but hoping that when we go home (hopefully today!) I can try to pump enough to have some of my milk on hand if she does need to take a bottle at night.

In terms of length of feed, I've been told here that it might only take ten mins to get a really good feed (though she definitely prefers the long and slow approach....). I really wish there was some kind of magic boob gauge to tell you when sufficient feeding had taken place, at the moment it all feels like pure guesswork!

@Knotemma your sumo comment made me laugh! Most newborn size clothes are still really baggy on her and size 1 nappies have always been on the loose side from the outset so I'm definitely inclined to think she was 6lb 11 rather than 8lb 10. Think I'll write a complaint letter to patient liaison re the trauma and confusion, I know it won't achieve anything but might make me feel a little better.....