I’m going to have to face the fact that something is very wrong aren’t I?

[Losing]

I had my first positive HPT on the 29th of August.

I had pain on one side on the 7th of September that I went to A&E with on advice of my GP. My bloods were taken then (507) and 48 hours later on the 9th (1070). They had doubled and the pain had stopped so I regained some hope that all might still be well.

A scan this Tuesday revealed an empty sac that might have had something in it, but they couldn’t be sure. A blood test from the same day showed a hcg level of 4013 (should have been around 8000 if it was doubling by then) and one yesterday, that I just got the results from, is only 5308.

I have to wait for a phone call on Monday to book another scan as they are worried it may be ectopic. I’m on strict orders to go to A&E straight away if the pain or heavy bleeding starts.

This is my last shot at this as I just can’t face it anymore (three previous miscarriages, one at 18 weeks).

I keep frantically googling, hunting for any slither of hope that I know deep down is not going to be true. I’m also now terrified that it is ectopic and that any moment now I’m going to rupture.

I just want it all over but feel I am stuck in limbo.

I can't even begin to imagine how you feel right now, here for a handhold.
I would suggest stepping away from a computer (this is so much easier said than done) until you hear from them on Monday. Try to distract yourself with anything and everything under the sun this weekend. Lots of virtual hugs your way, hun.

Thank you, that is good advice. It’s so very hard to stop hunting for any good news and I know it’s just going to make me feel worse in the long run.

I jump between wanting it to all be over so I can have a stiff drink with DP and then instead hoping it’s a miracle.

Hi @Losing, sorry to hear you're having a worrying time at the mo. The wait and not knowing is the worst.

Just wanted to share my experience with you. I had right sided pain around 6 weeks so I was referred to EPU and had a scan showing a pregnancy cyst on my ovary, which is normal apparently and will fade as the placenta develops. Obviously I don't want you to completely rule out an ectopic but to know that isn't always the reason for one sided pain.

I hope you get some good news soon x

Hand hold for you

What a difficult time for you.

I don’t have any useful advice I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.
I’ve had four miscarriages including one this month at almost 17 weeks, so I know just how shit it is. I will keep hoping that it turns out to be a miracle and offering a handhold in the meantime.

Sorry op. Go offline. Does more harm than good sometimes. 💐

This may be completely daft but I’ve just booked a private scan at 9.30 am tomorrow.

There was a 10mm empty sac on Tuesday and so I do know it hasn’t been long enough to really make any difference, but I’m going out of my mind just waiting.

I’m not even sure what it hoping to see/not see. I guess I’m hoping the either see something in the sac (so exceptionally slim chance of pregnancy still, but even more likely a normal miscarriage) or they see something where it isn’t supposed to be and I can ask the hospital to do something... I don’t know.

DH isn’t hopeful but was happy to book it if it makes me feel like I’m doing something about it.

I'm so sorry Losing.

In my experience the pain from a suspected ectopic was so bad that I could barely walk and was wheeled in when I was admitted. It turned out to be an exceptionally large corpus luteal cyst which ruptured as I was an inpatient and I was on morphine for it. I went onto have an unrelated missed miscarriage several weeks later.

From your bloods I think you know in your heart what to prepare for. I do hope they see something on the scan though. If you are 6 weeks plus it should be growing 1mm a day.

I do know I think, it’s just hard to get rid of that last little bit of hope. Though I find myself hoping more sometimes that it’s just a ‘normal’ miscarriage.

Try and keep off Google as it really doesn't help. Though I'll admit, I'm guilty of always being on Google. Hope everything goes okay ❤️

Bless you. I'm so sorry.

Well I’m unsure what to think/feel now.

I am very happy to say that ectopic has now pretty much been ruled out. The sac that was completely empty on Tuesday had a yolk sac and 3.3mm fetus in today. No heartbeat seen.

Sonographer said it just looked a little early to see heartbeat and dated me at 6 weeks 0 days. DH is very optimistic and happy now, but I’m not too sure.

I keep thinking about the hcg levels not doubling and wondering if it’s possible.

It's great that ectopic has been ruled out, that's always a relief.
With regards to what was seen, i would say it is an improvement on your previous scan, and be cautiously optimistic?
Best of luck to you x

My hcg levels didn't double nowhere near and so it didn't grow properly...less than a mm a day and then had a very weak heartbeat for the rest of its short life.

It is brilliant something is there but I wouldn't be as optimistic as your DH. I think you are right to be hopeful though!

Best of luck for the NHS review.

@Losing how are you doing, hun?

Hi @Mc3209,

I haven’t had any pain or bleeding since the last time, and am starting to get some symptoms. I feel quite sick in the mornings/afternoons and have very sore boobs! I assume my hormones are maybe going up? (Hopeful anyway) But I know they can do that even if all isn’t ok.

I have a scan at the EPU on Friday at 8.50am.

I’m anxious about it but also ready to get it over with.

Judging by what was on the private scan on Saturday I assume that if there is going to be a heartbeat that it will show up by Friday.

So I’m hoping for either a miracle or closure.

Good luck, keeping everything crossed for you x

I've got everything crossed for you too 💐 Friday is almost here.

Unfortunately it seems I’m going to have to wait to find out what’s going on.

Couldn’t go to my scan this morning as I’m still awaiting the results of my covid test.

@Losing hopefully it wouldn't take long for them to come back. Are you managing to keep busy and distract yourself?

I’m doing my best @Mc3209 but I’d be lying if I said I am being completely successful!

The silver lining to all this, I guess, is the longer you wait for the scan the clearer the outcome will be. And the good thing about time is that it will pass whether we want it to or not. Stay strong 💐

Well thankfully my negative covid test result came back yesterday morning (good job I chased it up!) and I finally have my scan appointment tomorrow at 9.10am.

I haven’t been able to stop that little bit of hope that there will be a heartbeat, though I know the chances aren’t great.

One way or another I’ll know what’s going on after tomorrow.

Good luck @Losing! And remember, it ain't over until it's over. The fact that you have symptoms and not bleeding is a good thing.

Everything crossed for you OP! Does sound like there's a possibility it's just strange early days stuff.