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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 6

546 replies

Treaclepie19 · 18/09/2020 06:13

New thread!

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Treaclepie19 · 24/09/2020 04:15

Thank you @SunStruck 😊
you all ❤
My waters broke at 4am. I had a sweep while being checked out. By 4pm I was begging for them to let me go into hospital despite my contractions going between 2 mins apart and 9 mins apart. They eventually agreed. She was born at 6.03pm!
I got away with a first degree tear and no stitches. Oddly similar to her brothers labour but shorter and less traumatic! No forceps!

OP posts:
Whiffle77 · 24/09/2020 07:27

Oh @MOGMOGMOG85 I am so sorry you are having such a rough time of it!! I hope you are OK sickness wise as that would help a lot of your worries. The chances of getting it are very slim, i hope you feel OK!
I'm so sorry your work is being so awful as well, again you've had some good practical advice before me. Just keep your eyes in the prize as well, it isnt for that much longer and you know you won't be going back afterwards at least! You can do it, dont let them grind you down.
I feel similar work wise @SunStruck - there's a few major issues I was desperate to sort out before I finish, but its becoming increasingly inlikely that I won't be able to (through no fault of my own). I feel really frustrated about it but also looking forward to finishing - i felt so much pressure last week about it all that it was making me feel awful, but now I feel a bit more accepting that it won't all be sorted. I also work in a really male industry so I understand that side of it.
Thank you for your birth story @Treaclepie19! Hope you are doing OK today

tmc14 · 24/09/2020 10:55

@footprintsintheslow I got to bring my baby home, but I know a tiny bit of how you feel about hypnobirthing and won't be using it this time (my first birth was fairly awful and I listened to those damn scripts for four days straight). Echo the advice of finding other ways to 'meditate'... I've started downloading music onto my phone that I find really relaxing or calming. I'll probably take some knitting in to hospital with me. Comforting old TV might do it (downloading series that you know really well but love), or mind numbing games (I remember when my anxiety was at it's worst years ago, I discovered candy crush and it was amazing. Had to concentrate enough that my mind couldn't wander, but it was totally mind numbing and quite meditative). Or sudoku books. Or whatever the hell works to just calm/distract the racing thoughts.

@MOGMOGMOG85 Sending you a massive hug. What a pile of rubbish you're having to wade through just now. There are a lot of germs going around at the moment that are not COVID, so it is most likely you're just poorly with something else that wouldn't restrict you being able to see family. Keeping everything crossed it passes quickly. Your work are just awful, I'm so angry for you. How dare they treat you like that?! I don't know how you are doing it... I did half a days gardening on Tuesday and thought I was going to keel over. I understand not having enough energy to fight them too much. Follow the other advice, and also just try and figure out what is best for you at this moment and go with that. Whether it's doing what you can and just blanking all the negativity, trying to take it further, going on sick leave, or office work. They've been completely awful so you can now without guilt make whatever decision works for you.

Quiet week for us. I'm tired and achy and a bit whiny, and my toddler has more energy than I can deal with! But just taking it easy where I can. Trying to sort the house, garden and allotment so they can all be left for a few weeks when the baby arrives and the outside is ready for winter. Trying to not get anxious about the birth, but it's creeping in, with still just under 3 weeks to go...

tmc14 · 24/09/2020 10:57

@Treaclepie19 Thank you for the birth story! Sounds pretty good all things considered, and glad it was easier than your son's birth. Hope the recover is going well xx

Avocuddles · 24/09/2020 12:03

Hi all apologies for not having checked in, everything has been pretty overwhelming and it's over a week since I had anything resembling decent sleep! I ended up spending 7 nights in hospital, 5 of which were after the birth, and it was all pretty stressful not least because there was a cock up re recording her birth weight which made it look as if she had lost an impossible amount over the first few days and triggered all kinds of panic. Feeding and weight loss are still a concern, we're having midwife visits every couple of days and a feeding support counsellor is coming out this afternoon so we'll see how we get on. Pregnancy after loss was an anxious experience for me and that anxiety certainly hasn't gone now she's here, if anything it's far worse. Fortunately my DH is amazing and I have a few good friends who check in with me a lot, but I do hope to get past these feeding challenges one way or another and to reach a place where I can actively enjoy being a mum rather than panicking or feeling guilty the whole time....

@Treaclepie19 your birth story sounds very positive, hope you're having an equally speedy recovery!

@SunStruck @Whiffle77 not long for you now! I was working right up to when baby arrived, as it turned out. I'm still finding it weird that I'm not going to be back for 9 months, and can't resist reading work emails on my phone whilst baby is napping.... need to break the habit but it's hard when work has been the centre of your routine for such a long time! I hope you manage to complete your handover and leave in a place that you feel happy with.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I'm sorry you've been having such a tough time, you've truly got everything going on at once and must be so drained both physically and mentally. You need to put yourself and your little one first, but I know that that is easier said than done....

@Babyghirl thinking of you at such a stressful stage and hoping all works out well.

Babyghirl · 24/09/2020 12:24

@Avocuddles
Thank you, I'm sure we all felt the same at the start at some stage waiting on something happening, but I have told myself I can change what will happen all I can do is try to stay positive congratulations on the birth off your daughter and enjoy ever min off it xx 💚💚💚

AnxiousLady1 · 24/09/2020 13:38

@avocuddles I fear I'd be like you with checking work emails! 🙈 I think I'll have to delete the applications from my phone.

Whiffle77 · 24/09/2020 16:15

Nooooo @Avocuddles and @AnxiousLady1 stay off the phones!! As soon as I am finished, mine will be turned off and stay off...they will have to learn to be without you! I know it isn't that easy.
Hope you have some better sleep soon @avocuddles, I'm sure if you do that will also help the anxiety. I think everyone is anxious when they first take a newborn home, even without a previous loss - its such a big change and so much to take on. Especially with all your hormones going wild and no sleep. Be kind to yourself and you will make it through these first few weeks, im glad you seem to have such a good support network in place.

Treaclepie19 · 24/09/2020 17:15

Thank you everyone ❤ My birth was very positive in the end and I'm so grateful.
Feeding and sleep have been a different story. Adapting to life as a family of 4 is hard and with her being early we weren't completely set up so her downstairs got still isn't put together.
@Avocuddles that sounds so stressful. Are you breastfeeding?
I hope they're being really supportive.

I've changed to formula because I couldn't deal with feeling like I was failing at something else. Then of course felt guilty anyway.

I could do with someone to have our 5yo one day over the weekend but hey ho 😬

OP posts:
tmc14 · 25/09/2020 07:58

@Avocuddles Sorry it's been a rough ride so far. I had lots of feeding issues with DS (caveat: I had to mix feed), but I found a lactation consultant invaluable in helping me to breastfeed long term at all. Ones near me are doing online consultation. Might be worth getting some professional help if possible.

Shefliesonherownwings · 25/09/2020 10:35

Morning all, how is everyone?

@MOGMOGMOG85 you certainly are going through so much right now. I would echo what others have said, try to deal with one thing at a time. Temperature sorted, I definitely would look at office duties. You need to be selfish for yourself be the baby. I can’t believe the atttiude of your colleagues, what a toxic environment. I hope you can get something sorted. In terms of the pub, can you speak to the council or environmental health?

@Hagster and @Whiffle77 thank you for your suggestions. I’m going to look into grounding techniques, I’m not familiar with it but it definitely sounds like it would suit me better. I used to love reading but since losing Isla my focus and concentration are just terrible. I might try some light chick lit though and see if I can get into that. I also have a colour by numbers book I might dig out.

DH and I did something really nice yesterday. We went to the crematorium and chose a rose bush for Isla as a memorial. We have ordered a plaque for her and all being well it should be ready in time for her birthday in November. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be and it gave me a lot of comfort choosing her a special place in such a peaceful pretty spot. We won’t scatter her ashes as we prefer to have her at home with us but it’ll be a special place for us and family and friends to visit and think of her whenever we want to and on milestone days. It’s made me feel good to do something just for her. Wishing everyone a good Friday.

Babyghirl · 25/09/2020 12:04

@MOGMOGMOG85
I work with 22 fellas myself and already on the war off why I'm on lite dutys, my boss said I have to tell them at some stage I told him that was up to me and no one else I have not even told my own parents yet and he not told his ones yet my mum just worries because off the last 2 times so nt telling anyone yet. He has asked me to phone my doc he wants me out sick until at least 12 weeks because off my history. My boss is doing everything to help me in a male environment only me and one other woman works in r department as porter security in a hospital she my best mate and keeps me grounded but I'm thinking it's best for me to be out for bot the nxt 7 weeks tbh. 💚💚

Babyghirl · 25/09/2020 18:21

Any girls here would tell me if I'm OK to take a bath lol, people tell me not to have not had a bath from I found out a week ago only having showers I'm scared to do anything wrong. Sounds stupid to be asking this when I write it down 😂😂😂😂😂😂.

AnxiousLady1 · 25/09/2020 20:33

@babyghirl Well I've been having baths weekly and just out of one now. I think the rule of thumb is just to not have it too hot. So not as hot as you usually might. You don't want to overheat as I think that's what they warn against (baby doesn't like overheating). But I've read nothing otherwise to say baths are unsafe.

Babyghirl · 25/09/2020 20:41

@AnxiousLady1
Just had one lol I love hot baths but to get in to it and it was just look warm because my mum shouted at me to not have them the last 2 times I could not relax and could not get out off it quick enough lol I'm just over thinking every thing I think but I'm just petrified of doing something wrong.

didslysquiddlydoo · 25/09/2020 22:10

@Babyghirl you can definitely have baths - my midwife tells me all the time to get in the bath to soothe any aches and pains. Plus - water births! Just keep the bath around body temperature! Xx

Babyghirl · 25/09/2020 22:23

@didslysquiddlydoo
Thank you I love my baths norm have one every night to relax, but been showering from last Friday just not the same lol.

footprintsintheslow · 26/09/2020 04:18

I'm awake! Been awake since 1:30am and finally decided to get up and have toast and hot chocolate. I've dusted the living room too.

Me and my husband aren't getting on that well. Nothing big but low level niggly things and it's keeping me awake. I'm sick of his grumpy moods and I've told him I haven't got the energy to jolly him along as well as jollying along the toddler out of tantrums as well as managing my own anxiety.

I'm conscious that I'm growing a baby inside me and I don't want them flooded with anxiety hormones.

He's often moody and I'm the optimistic happy one but lately I'm soaking up his moods and it's bloody draining and I don't want to be that person. Not really sure what the answer is to be honest as it's a recurring theme. I told him I feel isolated and I can see I'm shutting down from him and other acquaintances and friends. Thank god for mumsnet hey!!?

SunStruck · 26/09/2020 05:28

I also have a bath once a week ladies, it is fine as long as the water isn't too hot!

@footprintsintheslow sorry to hear your DH is being grumpy! Yes offload here instead... is he maybe worried about work? I'm also having a bit of pregnancy insomnia at the moment, waking super early, having something to eat and then trying to get one more hours sleep 😴

39+5 today and still nada, I'm going to the gym now to keep active and to try to squat the baby out ( I've read squats opens the pelvis a bit so hopefully he's getting more ready with every gym session 🤣)

Babyghirl · 26/09/2020 07:31

I'm also up even thou I'm shattered is this normal for only being 5 weeks 2 days lol my day off work to gs been working alweek so was looking forward to a lie in 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

didslysquiddlydoo · 26/09/2020 09:18

It's my due date!!! Aaaaaand I couldn't feel more normal 😂

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 40wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 39wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@SunStruck 39wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 31wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@tmc14 37wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 36wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 33wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 33wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 29wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 29wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 24wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 22wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

Babyghirl · 26/09/2020 11:19

5+2 days today and my boobs don't feel nothing today 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 already putting myself down for a loss why does being pregnant after loss have to be so evil.

Whiffle77 · 26/09/2020 11:30

That sounds lovely @Shefliesonherownwings what a great way to be able to remember Isla. I also have a memorial rose bush and it gives me so much comfort watching it bloom!
@footprintsintheslow my husband called me irritable twice last night - I mean I definitely was being, and it was totally hormonal but still!!! Sorry you are finding it all a bit draining at the minute. Everything is much harder work when you are oregnant, especially grumpy men! The world is a bit much at the minute too.
Happy due date @didslysquiddlydoo!! Lots of you almost there now Smile
I was comparing bump pics today from a month ago, and I have grown SO MUCH! I dont know how I can possibly keep growing at this rate?! Im also on with the insomnia too, my mind just keeps whirring. Hope you all get some rest soon

Whiffle77 · 26/09/2020 11:33

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈
@LilMrsS 31wks (due 24/09/20)⁣
@didslysquiddlydoo 40wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@TunnocksTcake 39wks (due 26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@SunStruck 39wks (due 28/09/20)⁣⁣
@Scout20 31wks (due 29/09/20)⁣
@HighHopes20 25wks (due 03/10/20)⁣⁣
@tmc14 37wks (due 11/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@Hagster 36wks (due 12/10/20)⁣⁣ SURPRISE
@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 33wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 33wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@MysteriousSheep 19wks (due 21/11/20)
@Whiffle77 30wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 29wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 24wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 22wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

Into the 30s now! Wont be long until this list is half rainbows half waiting Smile

footprintsintheslow · 26/09/2020 12:57

I just love the term rainbows in waiting!🌈

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