Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 6

[Treaclepie19]

New thread!

Oh MOG that's totally shit, I'm so sorry that you have this happening to you.

Thanks @footprintsintheslow xx I actually feel better already. Need to focus on the good things in my life, my OH and this baby, and we'll find a way to make things work even if we have to go back to renting. Perhaps its a good time to let go of the stress of trying to sell now, only 5 weeks to go and I need to focus on the impending birth! xx

@AnxiousLady1 any luck with your ECV today? How was it? xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 That's so frustrating with the house sale!! But you sound like you've got a great attitude.

ECV didn't work (not surprised). This guy has been parked on that side for weeks! Section booked in for Tuesday next week so I'm happy to at least have a definite date for meeting this stubborn wee man 😂

@MOGMOGMOG85 oh that’s so awful. Our house buying system just doesn’t work when people can be screwed over like that. Well done for trying to be positive.

@AnxiousLady1 ah, Sorry it didn’t work but at least you have a definite plan now, & only a few more days to go!! How exciting. Mine was the same... they wouldn’t even try the ECV, obviously as stubborn as her mum 🤣 Enjoy your last week of prep xx

@AnxiousLady1 lovely to have a date to focus on. How will you spend this last week baby free?

@MOGMOGMOG85 I think your attitude is great. There will be light at the end of this tunnel.

I've felt fine since the anniversary really. The build up is really worse and we have lots to look forward to. Anxiety comes and goes but feeling movements helps with that.

We are on lockdown here in Wales so I've written a long to do list so trying to keep productive everyday and having a focus. I'm decluttering (at least) one thing a day too and am on day 41 now. In the process of cleaning one kitchen cupboard a day I found my bake stone so me and the toddler are making Welsh cakes today.

Hope everyone is feeling positive. I start the day well as I'm a morning person but by 3pm I'm on my knees in every way!

@AnxiousLady1 I'm so excited for you to have a definite date, wow you must be overwhelmed and over the moon! Sorry your ECV didn't work out though :( What was it like? If you're anything like me you'll be ok to adapt to a new plan, but it's uncertainty that drives me insane, not knowing if it would be a caesarian or vaginal delivery! Still thinking of you @futuredreams and sending hugs, waiting for an update from you - sorry I had thought your deadline was Friday but I just read back and you should have had your section or been induced already! xxx

@tmc14 thanks for dropping back in - how are things going for you on the other side?? xx I'm actually less positive today, guess the feelings of ANGER AND BETRAYAL (haha!) come in waves, yes the UK property system is SO stressful and awful!

Ah @footprintsintheslow welsh cakes!!!! Did you say you're vegan though - do they work well without butter (I actually don't know the original recipe it may be marg anyway). My Mum used to make them, her parents were Welsh and she was brought up in Cwmbran. I remember how amazing they were fresh out the oven! I'm coeliac now so can't indulge but I have very fond memories - they would all disappear immediately of course! I'm feeling the nesting instinct hard too, but still working, but finish tomorrow so really can't complain! There are so many things I want to scrub and clean and fold - hope my OH doesn't get used to it because I'm usually a slob haha!

Update to my random pains, I called midwife as they started up again, but the second time I was able to identify that it was happening when baby was pushing up on my uterus, in a specific spot, and it was a muscle spasm/cramp type pain. Midwife thought baby has probably just been in one spot too long and my uterus has started cramping up at the point that is taking all the pressure (I think he has his bum on my right hand side and regularly shoves hard against it, he's been there for weeks and he is quite heavy now!). By the evening my entire uterus was cramping up (mildly though) and also my back muscles and neck and even down to my feet, think my body was just knackered from all the weight and everything started seizing! I just had an early night and woke up feeling much better, perhaps cold weather wasn't helping. Touch wood nothing to do with fibroids though phew! Actually it could be the fibroid makes that area of the uterus tire out more quickly because I heard that can be a thing in labour too and the intense pain was where the fibroid was, anyway not degeneration though which I'm (touch wood) relieved about!

Actually that reminds me @AnxiousLady1 - you say your little one is on one side, what does that mean? I think mine has been head down for a long time now, but he is still laid up with his spine kind of down my right hand side (so his bum pokes out of my right hand side, but his feet push up into my ribs/stomach on the top left hand side) - is that the kind of thing that happened with yours? I didn't realise it was an issue, are they supposed to be spine facing back or front? I hope not because mine seems really pretty comfy there!

@MOGMOGMOG85 Yes he's been on the right side for a long time but thats not at all an issue in itself. They say a lot of them just get comfortable in a particular spot. The issue for my guy is his head is up by my ribs, body all down the right, and bum is presenting breech. But he alternates his legs - sometimes they are tucked into my left hip (making him slightly diagonal) and other times he tucks them under his bum almost kneeling. I actually saw him do this on a scan. So as he's so far up there's nothing plugging my pelvis - hence the need for a section. But I agree, the organiser in me is taking the positive in having a set date. There's so little we can control in pregnancy and after so I'm taking the little wins! 😂

@footprintsintheslow Struggling to fill the time now I'm not going to be spending it in hospital! But the rugby will definitely be on the cards this weekend. 😂

@MOGMOGMOG85

Thanks. Fern arrived safely by section on Tuesday. Been a mad few days ! I'll update today ☺️

@futuredreams Fern is totally gorgeous and a beautiful beautiful name!
Hope you are feeling well and getting some rest.

@MOGMOGMOG85 yes I am vegan but there's loads of recipes out there that have made a few tweaks. All but one type of Flora's are vegan and you use a splash of plant milk instead of egg.

Ah @futuredreams you made it!! And what a wonderful prize on the other side - she is STUNNING and I agree a beautiful name :) hope you are ok and the whole process wasn't too traumatic xx rest up and enjoy your darling baby - hope she is settling in well to life on the other side too! xxx

@AnxiousLady1 ah that makes sense - head up def no good! He sounds like a right little character with his own way of doing things from the start! I love imagining what they're doing in there - it's basically all we have to imagine them by until they arrive :)

In other news I have ordered an Aniball which is arriving tomorrow (although I can't use it for another week)! Also hired a tens machine before realising its actually cheaper to buy one - doh! Anyone been tempted by an Aniball? I will update you as to how it is. I am basically too squeamish to do perineal massage (as an abuse survivor I find it really hard to touch myself in all the areas that are key to pregnancy - particularly breasts ugh!), so I thought it could be a good option, as I am scared of tearing and think it could help increase my confidence if I know I can squeeze something out of there! I've trawled mums net for real people reviews and it seems to have good verbal feedback. The antenatal woman said it made no difference, or even that it could be dangerous, but I've read nothing to suggest it's dangerous, and my friend who is a GP said "why not, I would give it a go!" so I bought one. If anyone is curious I'm happy to share my experiences, or I can keep it to myself if you're not into reading about other women shoving balloons up their nethers

Congatulations @futuredreams, so beautiful! Im so pleased for you, hope everything went ok!

@MOGMOGMOG85 im so sorry about your house. That is totally shit at any time but especially whilst pregnant! I hate the UK buying system, its so flawed and difficult! Like you say though, it should be less stress for your last few weeks of pregnancy. It will all work out how its supposed to!

Glad you aren't feeling as low @footprintsintheslow, the build up to dates we are dreading are always the worst i think

Not long now @AnxiousLady1! How very exciting!!

Getting worried about all this talk of another lockdown announcement on Monday- the day before my section. Really hopeful this won't further impact DH being able to be with me, right at the 11th hour 🙈 I've been lucky enough so far with my hospital in that they allow partners for full section and in recovery for hours after. Plus visiting between 10-6 once on maternity ward.

Me too @AnxiousLady1, im so anxious about it all. I had a few things planned this week as a bit of a "bye" before I locked myself down pre birth. Barely seen anyone for weeks and now who knows when I will again! I think your DH will still be able to be there, he would've been able to in the first lockdown and I really dont think they will go further than they did then 🤞

@AnxiousLady1 sounds like since lockdown not coming in until Thursday that you'll be ok!

Best of luck for your section, sending lots of love and luck your way! xxx

@Whiffle77 hope you manage to see a few people before the lockdown on Thursday? I know it's your last week of work too though.. I reckon it would be well worth it if you can... I am lucky and have been on a little spree of seeing friends lately so hoping that will tide me over for a while. It's going to get lonely, really not ideal time for us :(

I was watching the announcement last night and all the graphs that Whitty explaining and in terms of pressure on the hospitals they were all peaking in early December and I was just seeing "that's my due date, that's my due date". I know maternity services will be ring fenced, but I can't help worrying what if staff are self-isolating or it's short staffed :( especially with my risk of haemorrhage I really want to feel safe and looked after! I guess there's no point worrying and it may all very likely be absolutely fine - no choice but to head into it now!

I did say from the start that I reckoned I would be giving birth in the second wave, didn't realise it might be literally the peak of the second wave... ugh it will make a good story one day! xx

I've been in touch with a nappy library to loan some reusable nappies and see which work best for me. My biggest concern with them is how bloody expensive they are, even second hand they're at least a fiver each, and I'm guessing you need quite a few given the drying time and how often they'll need to be changed (if anyone knows how many to get please do enlighten me!). Plus they only last (I don't know?) a few months (?) before they need the next size?? Sounds like a lot of cash to me, I don't know how people can afford them new at £15 a pop! I might pop in on the new mums thread and ask for some advice.

My aniball arrived and I feel nervous to get started but also excited to hopefully gain some confidence about the task to come. I realise I can't use it for a couple weeks yet though. xxx

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived
@Hagster Baby boy has arrived
@tmc14 39wks Baby girl has arrived (08/10/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo Baby girl has arrived!
@Shefliesonherownwings 37wks Baby boy has arrived!
@futuredreams Baby girl has arrived!

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈

@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 38wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 35wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 35wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 29wks (due 10/01/21) Massive baby!
@turquoisebaby 27wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

@MOGMOGMOG85 From the little research I did, I worked out that about 20 nappies were needed (this was based on frequency of washing etc). I did a couple of different online questionnaires. I have a trial kit to try out before I move on from disposables to cloth nappies. In terms of sizing, some brands do pocket nappies that seem to be a "one size fits all" scenario. One of the ones in my kit has multiple clasp fasteners on there meaning they can be worn until baby is a much bigger size.

I just love coming on this thread and seeing that ‘Rainbow Arrivals’ list getting longer and longer. Well done everyone! 🌈

It won’t be long until everyone has graduated onto that list and has their precious baby in their arms - how special it will be when that day comes!

I have a non-baby related discussion point. Obviously, don’t feel you have to share, and some people’s (like mine) are obvious but just wondered how everyone came up with their usernames? I’ve always wondered about some of them!

@Hoping2020 I first posted on MN the night I found out about my MMC last year. So that was my state of mind at the time and I carried a lot of that anxiety through this pregnancy. I have been thinking, however, of name changing once I graduate to the other thread. I'd like to start a new chapter and a name change might be good for this. 😊 Obviously like most new mums I'll still carry the anxieties though!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I had grand plans to use reusable, got loads second hand from Facebook marketplace... haven't been able to face it yet! Have decided I'll start when I'm more able to handle this new whirlwind 🤦‍♀️

@Hoping2020 mine is an old in-joke that isn't even funny but has stuck as my internet identity 🤷‍♀️ - is yours pregnancy-related?

I also love seeing the top list getting longer. It's wonderful to see so many rainbows here after so much heartache. I also love coming here and seeing how everyone else is getting on. Hope new lockdown restrictions don't cause too much difficulty for everyone xx

Thank you for sharing @AnxiousLady1 and @Hagster.

AnxiousLady1 it sounds like a name change might be quite therapeutic for you in time. Not long now until you meet your boy 💙 So exciting!

Yes Hagster, mine was created for this thread. After our three losses, I so hoped 2020 would be our year and I’m still in disbelief that she’s here, safe, mine and I get to keep her 💖

Maybe once everyone has graduated, the thread will have to become ‘Mums of Rainbow Babies dreaming of sleep’ 😂

Hi ladies, I’ve not posted in awhile. So hope everyone is doing ok with their pregnancy, or their new additions. Can’t believe how many there is.

My little miracle, Paige arrived on the 15th October, by Emergancy csection. Following a failed early induction at 39weeks.

We are doing fine, although it has be tough being on my own, following a section, with a newborn. But she has been great, and seeing her face, her smell, cuddles, make everything worth while. Still can’t believe she’s here, and is mine. She is Struggling with stomach ache, so we are currently going through the hoops to try and find a solution to help her settle.

@Hoping2020 I live in my dressing gown(S) they are so comforting! Love the dreaming of sleep thread idea 😂

Congratulations @DressingGown87 - had wondered where you had got to! Welcome to the world Paige.

Thanks @AnxiousLady1s for the nappy tips.

Not to be a downer but I'm having an awful day. This morning I identified for the first time that my baby was probably having hiccups. Now I've worked out what it is I realise he's def had them previously, in fact its probably what I most often feel. Then I made the mistake of googling it and all the web pages are saying that hiccups could be a sign of a cord problem in later pregnancy. He just had a quiet period for a couple of hours and then started hiccuping again, although I have felt some other movements. I think he might be in a tricky position for me again with my placenta... I have my final scan tomorrow and I think it may be whats making me totally freak out. I just have had that anxiety cloud descend onto me and feel so worried something is wrong. My scan is first thing tomorrow so I'm going to wait until then rather than try going to the hospital on a sunday night as I know their waiting times are absolutely awful and tbh I've just felt really foolish every other time I've ended up there at night-time worrying. The daytime team seem much more sympathetic to my worries and reassure me that its ok to get checked out. I can feel him moving as I speak so I don't even know why I'm freaking out. I guess scans aren't great for me, but for some reason the last one feels particularly anxious - I wasn't expecting this :(

I only have less than 5 weeks less and suddenly I feel like its so far away and I may never end up with this baby in my arms. I haven't even experienced late losses like a lot of you, I don't know why I'm feeling like this :(

@Hoping2020 my name is really stupid, it's a creature from the final fantasy series and also a part of my name plus my year of birth...!

@MOGMOGMOG85 thank you. Paige had hiccups about 5-6 times a day in the final weeks of my pregnancy, I felt these more than movements. I googled too and wish I hadn’t. She still gets them about the same time of day now. I hope your scan goes well tomorrow, you get the reassurance you need and I hope the next 5 week pass quickly. Try not to worry, take each day as it comes, have lots of rest.

@MOGMOGMOG85 Another one for the hiccups here, and like you I googled it and freaked myself out. My MW told me it was nothing to be concerned about. For me it started around 32 weeks and she said at that point they are practicing swallowing etc.

Thank you so much @AnxiousLady1 and @DressingGown87 that's really reassuring to know. Stupid google. It does make sense that he would be practicing swallowing ready for the outside world. I bet it bears little relation to a cord issue like google tells you and I bet those websites just cause so many mums to panic!

I'll be seeing him in an hour or so now and I'm sure they'll check the cord thoroughly etc, will update and may even have a new pic although I don't have high hopes as he has been so squished up in previous pics! xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 just to echo what others have said. Both James and Isla had hiccups loads when I was pregnant. Several times a day. James still gets them often now, but they don’t seem to bother him. Sometimes he sleeps through them! Step away from google, I’ve learnt that it is not always your friend. Often it just talks about worse case scenarios but I think hiccups is very normal as they practise swallowing. Hope your scan goes well today. X