Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 6

[Treaclepie19]

New thread!

Beautiful candles. Not sure if any of you follow 'Heavenly Gowns' on Facebook but you can add your baby's name onto their candle thread to be remembered.

Beautiful candles. Such a lovely idea.

I've had my final growth scan and have been booked in for another next week. While growth etc all good the little bugger is in an oblique position at almost 37 weeks. Can't say I'm surprised as I've been convinced since 25 weeks he was favouring some form of breech position. If he's still in same spot next week will need to discuss options. But aware there's a risk of cord prolapse if I go into spontaneous labour between now and then 🙈

Lovely candles everyone, I felt very emotional last night. There's been an awful lot of celebrities discussing it all recently too, which is good (not for them but great people are being more open).

I'm very far behind on the thread, work is awful and my anxiety is way up as a result. Hope it calms down soon.

Congratulations @didslysquiddlydoo! Sorry you had a traumatic time, I hope you have managed some rest and are able to put it behind you soon 💞

Sorry you are having a rubbish time with your mum @MOGMOGMOG85, you've had some great advice so far - I must say that the aggro about being prepared is ridiculous! I started preparing very late on too and got all sorts of horrified looks in the office - because I was so very pregnant! Its hard to not take it to heart but it sounds like your DP is very supportive which makes it a lot easier.

@AnxiousLady1 hope your little one gets into a better position soon!

@AnxiousLady1 ah, mine was transverse at 38+5, so was booked in for a c section but didn’t have to stay in. It was made clear that any sign of labour & I was to call 999. I’m close to the hospital though. I got scared but the chances of a cord prolapse are actually quite low I think from what I was told. There are things you can do to encourage them to turn (the spinning babies website is good) but I was advised against doing those things as it was so late on. Fingers crossed yours decides to play ball!

I had a good cry at the wave of light. So conflicting because obviously I wouldn’t have my daughter if my other pregnancy had gone to term, but I still want that baby too. Think it will always be hard.

@footprintsintheslow I’ll definitely have a look at that page on Facebook. I had a good cry last night too seeing all the social media posts but I also took a lot of comfort from paying tribute to Isla and sharing those moments with others. I’m so glad people are talking about this more and more, I don’t ever want to not be able to talk about Isla. This will sound really stupid but I saw a gorgeous rainbow yesterday which I felt was a little sign from Isla that she is watching over us and her little brother.

@AnxiousLady1 I hope you get some answers next week, even if it means not having a spontaneous labour. I’ve also heard good things about spinning babies. Can they try to turn the baby manually?

We’re off to the hospital this afternoon just for a midwife appointment. I’m still gutted DH can’t visit when we are on the labour ward and he is really struggling with that too so I’m going to ask if there is the possibility of us staying in recovery longer or even using a private room if one is available and having him with us there. No harm in asking I guess. All being well, this time next week we will have a baby as I’m booked in for my c section next Friday!

@Shefliesonherownwings @AnxiousLady1 ah yes, my Dr did say they’d usually offer an ECV (I think that’s right?!) to try & turn the baby, but again was a bit late for me... check the success rate though, he said it was usually around 50% but he was at 60% which he seemed to think was good 🤷🏻‍♀️
I was thinking the other day of you & your DH and visiting... I would ask the midwife, but also, just keep pushing on the day and explain why. From my experience what you’re told beforehand and what is possible on the day can be very different. So keep asking, even once you’re in there. Then hopefully you’ll get some flexibility from someone...

@ shefliesonherownwings I know hospitals will differ, but yesterday in mine while waiting I read a poster about updated visiting times due to COVID. It specifically said that arrangements could be made in some cases for a partner to stay overnight and to discuss it with maternity staff. So as @tmc14 says, it won't hurt to ask at all.

@tmc14 I've a midwife app later so will discuss more detail with her. Yesterday it was definitely a bit quick. Ie if you go into labour we want to see you straight away. I asked if he was still in same position next week would that mean elective section. But I think they plan on trying to turn him first or admitting me for monitoring (no idea how long that would be for). They also said breaking my waters in controlled environment and then trying to turn him is another possibility. TBH I'm okay with idea of a planned section. The worst case for me and one Is want to avoid is an emergency scenario. Also want to avoid general anaesthetic if I can. But ultimately main thing is he's delivered safely.

@AnxiousLady1 sounds like you have lots of options to discuss. Mine was spotted a bit late for those. I was with you, emergency section was my least preferred option, so was actually happy with going for the planned section. It’s good you’ve got a few days to think of all your questions so you can get all the info to make the best decision for you.

@tmc14 and @AnxiousLady1 I had my midwife appointment yesterday and she had one of the midwives who will be on the section team at the appointment too. My midwife had already spoken to the section midwife about my history and everything and they have basically agreed that they will do their best to keep us on recovery as long as possible so we can be all together. It all depends on how busy the day is but basically they said whatever they can do, they will do. There’s still no visiting allowed on the labour ward and they aren’t using their private rooms but I feel better knowing DH won’t get rushed out after an hour in recovery, hopefully.

I honestly love my midwife, she has really gone out of her way to look after me and do whatever she can to make things easier. Not easy for her with the restrictions but she is so on top of everything it really takes a huge amount of worry away from me. Fingers crossed Friday is nice and quiet and we can stay together for most of the day!

@Babyghirl good luck with your next scan, I'll cross my fingers for you

@AnxiousLady1 thanks for reassuring me re: preparing for a baby is normal - of course it is!

@Shefliesonherownwings you poor thing that sounds really painful/uncomfortable!! I'm going to pay lots of attention to my diet and staying hydrated now to make sure mine dont get any worse. Mere days until your baby boy arrives now! It must be such a scary time for you, just try and relax as much as you can, zone out, and I'm sure it will feel real when he arrives, although you'll probably be in shock for a while xxx

@footprintsintheslow thanks - I did check out that thread, although it seems that most people on there advocate no contact which I'm not quite ready for as I don't think she is a bad person/can help how she acts, I just need to be more in control of interactions with her and not give her any personal info basically... xx

@tmc14 beautiful candle - wish I'd known about the wave of light, I will have to mark it down for next year xx

@Shefliesonherownwings I love Islas candle xxx it doesn't sound stupid at all about the rainbow, it's lovely when you can feel a moment of connection like that. And I'm so so glad to hear your midwife and hospital are going to try and make an exception for you so that DH can be present during your recover, exceptions really should be made in your case, I really hope its nice and quiet Friday! xxx

@AnxiousLady1 sorry about your scan... hope they manage to turn him in time, I'll cross my fingers for you! We've had some really positive stories about planned sections on here recently though xx

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived
@Hagster Baby boy has arrived
@tmc14 39wks Baby girl has arrived (08/10/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo Baby girl has arrived!

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈

@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 36wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 36wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 33wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 33wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 27wks (due 10/01/21) SURPRISE
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived
@Hagster Baby boy has arrived
@tmc14 39wks Baby girl has arrived (08/10/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo Baby girl has arrived!

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈

@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 36wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 36wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 33wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 33wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 28wks (due 10/01/21) SURPRISE
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

@MOGMOGMOG85 yes that is a problem with that thread. No middle ground.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I’ve also been on that Stately homes thread and I also found it a bit hardcore for me. Feel free to vent here.

Been for my last scan today, all looks great, baby is just over 7lbs and doing well. I had my first steroid injection and I’ll have another one tomorrow. It wasn’t pleasant but it’s good for the baby so I sucked it up and tried not to swear!

Updating my weeks, should be for the last time!

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived
@Hagster Baby boy has arrived
@tmc14 39wks Baby girl has arrived (08/10/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo Baby girl has arrived!

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈

@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 36wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 37wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 33wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 33wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 28wks (due 10/01/21) SURPRISE
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

@MOGMOGMOG85 it’s totally different for a parent but I’m low contact with my brother. It’s complicated but basically he is just a very negative and destructive person to be around. I didn’t want to go no contact as it was too extreme for me... I do as others have suggested, I have various bland stick phrases to say when he starts to get tricky, and I wouldn’t share anything too personal. I’ve learned not to expect any support back from him. I treat him like a distant relative, rather than a close one. It’s hard, & it is much harder with a parent I think, but I think it is possible to navigate a way that suits you best, and allows you to accept it’s never going to be the relationship you would want it to be. Sending lots of hugs as it sounds really tough x

@Shefliesonherownwings just a few more days to go, how exciting! Hope you’ve got some lovely positive things to do this week to keep you distracted enough. c

Just updating my weeks!

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived
@Hagster Baby boy has arrived
@tmc14 39wks Baby girl has arrived (08/10/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo Baby girl has arrived!

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈

@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 37wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 37wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 33wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 33wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 28wks (due 10/01/21) SURPRISE
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

We are all quiet on here aren't we!?

It's the anniversary today of finding out our baby had died. I think for me this was the worst day of the three. Day 1 finding out, day 2 at home preparing to go in, day 3 giving birth. I cried all last night and this morning.

Dreading Friday but I've bought some flowers for her grave and her name plaque is going up too then on the tree.
Unfortunately it's also one of my best friends wedding on Friday afternoon. Nightmare timing but couldn't be helped as it's a reschedule from covid wave one.

She is aware of the date and has asked if we are happy for her to have a candle lit in the corner of the room for her birthday. It's lovely of her but I am worried about crying all day on and off.

No diabetes here according to my test results which is fab and great iron levels which I'm thrilled at as a vegan!

How is everyone and why are we all so quiet?

@footprintsintheslow Sorry to hear about the difficult few days you have ahead. Anniversaries are always hard, but it's good that you are able to remember your baby and mark the date in a special way. Hopefully your friends wedding won't be too difficult. Xx

Not intentionally quiet on my side. I'm on maternity leave now so my days are spent trying to do last min research on breastfeeding, cleaning, batch cooking/stocking cupboards, and ordering last min baby paraphernalia that I forgot I'd even need. Have another scan tomorrow but safe to say this monkey has not budged. I can feel where his head is lodged under my ribs and where he's kicking me on the lower left side. Despite all my hanging upside down off the couch. So I think my options will be whether to try ECV and then booking in for elective section. To be honest I'd rather do that than taking my chances with vaginal birth as its too risky with position he's in. Would rather just get him here safely and maybe have a date in mind I can mentally prepare for that to happen.

@AnxiousLady1 good luck at the scan today. Let us know how it goes.

Batch cooking sounds good. That's on my to do list and I've cleaned out the freezers in anticipation. I think I need to keep a list of what's in there so it doesn't get lost.

@footprintsintheslow I’m sorry you’re having a difficult few days, your plan for taking flowers to the grave sounds lovely. That’s very thoughtful of your friend but I understand your concerns about getting upset. Can you see how you feel and let her know on the day if you’d like a candle? Great work on your iron levels too!

@AnxiousLady1 how did your scan go?

We have been busy this week, just back and forth to the hospital. I’ve had my steroid injections and a Covid test which was not fun, I nearly threw up! Last midwife appointment was this morning and I so wanted to give my midwife a hug to thank her for everything she’s done for me but it wasn’t allowed. She’ll be getting a big thank you card though.

Tomorrow morning I go in for my c section. It still feels very surreal, and I can’t quite believe it is happening. But the house is clean, bags are packed and we’ve prepped as much as possible. I’m very nervous about it all, not just the op but coping on my own without DH being there when we’re on the ward and of course, I’m praying baby is ok and doesn’t need any extra care. I’ll update you all on how we get on once I can. Xxx

Best of luck for tomorrow @shefliesonherownwings. I hope you have a very positive and relaxed birth and enjoy the cuddles with your little one. Do keep us posted on how you're getting on. Xx

I had my scan today. Little monkey is still breach. Have a section booked for the 3rd Nov and an ECV in next week to see if they can turn him. Have to arrive to hospital with all my bags on the off chance that the ECV doesn't go to plan and emergency section needed. Little daunting!

@Shefliesonherownwings best of luck for tomorrow! I can't wait to see an update from you. I hope it all goes smoothly, sending lots of strength xxx

@footprintsintheslow sorry about your anniversary, that sounds tough. Such a lovely idea with the tree and the plaque though. And I'm really glad your blood came back good! xx

Thanks @tmc14, I have been trying some ways of staying low contact with my Mum the last couple of weeks. Its early days and she is trying everything she can to make me feel guilty, to get personal info out of me, but I'm sticking to my guns. Hopefully we will both get used to it after a while.

@AnxiousLady1 ugh sounds like he is still breech - also sounds like you're prepared for what your options might be which is good. Best of luck tomorrow, let us know xx

Our buyer on our house dropped out on Tuesday, a month down the line and we've already spent lord knows what on solicitor, estate agent, mortgage broker... we have one last chance tomorrow for a buy-to-let landlord to make us an offer but I think he knows we're desperate and is going to offer way below what we paid for the flat last year. Feeling quite deflated and stuck, don't want to be stuck here where we know no-one when the baby arrives!

I've also been busy at work - my last week next week - and have been quiet on here, I'm exhausted!

Errol feels massive, my stomach is constantly squashed, rolling over in bed makes me feel like I'm going to be sick and I have terrible gastric pain most days at work. But I guess pregnancy was never going to be easy by this stage, and I guess I had it pretty easy up until now! Almost 34 weeks now and starting to realise I need to get the hospital bag ready. I still dont have nipple pads etc, perhaps will do some shopping this weekend.

Look forward to hearing how things go tomorrow for you @shefliesonherownwings and @AnxiousLady1

@Shefliesonherownwings good luck for tomorrow! Will be thinking of you.

@AnxiousLady1 keeping everything crossed the ecv works!

@MOGMOGMOG85 really sorry about the house, moving house is stressful at the easiest of times. Keeping everything crossed for you that it works out. Also hoping things with your mum get easier. You’ve had a really tough time lately and deserve things to get easier.

@Shefliesonherownwings so today's the day!!! We will all be thinking of you exited to hear an update.

@MOGMOGMOG85 someone I know was in a similar position. They rented out their house which allowed them to buy a house where they wanted to go. Not sure if the ins and outs of their finances but a mortgage advisor swapped things round for them so it worked. Might be an option for you.

Lots of love to you today @footprintsintheslow, sorry you are finding it tough. Not ideal timing for a wedding but at least you are with people you love

Good luck @Shefliesonherownwings!! Todays the day!! Cant wait to see your update.

Sorry you have a breech baby @AnxiousLady1 j can tell mine is still too after my scan last week, but was sort of expected.

I'm also very uncomfortable @MOGMOGMOG85, I have two weeks left of work to go and really counting down. I honestly feel like I have been pregnant forever! I cant wait for them to be out now (whilst also desperate for them to stay in longer!). So sorry about your house, we moved this time last year and it is SO stressful. Fingers crossed for the landlord. I do always think these things work out how they are supposed to with house moves though. Not helpful at the time I know!