Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 6

[Treaclepie19]

New thread!

Thanks @Whiffle77 I’m really hoping things do change in the next couple of weeks, even if it means he can just visit for an hour or two, it’s better than nothing.

I have been thinking about playlists too. My midwife said I can have whatever music I want on during my section, but I’m thinking about things like rain sounds or wave sounds as DH and I both find that relaxing. We also both like rock music, but not sure how relaxing AC/DC and Metallica would be during the op!

@footprintsintheslow looks great! I do like the super furry animals :) yeah i think mine has been a bit too chilled out and i need to start adding the bangers - chaka khan here we come! :D

congrats to @didslysquiddlydoo! xxx

I've had my flu jab and whooping cough jabs today. No ill effects so far and it didn't hurt a bit.

@footprintsintheslow I had no after effects with flu jab. With the whoopong cough one I was very very tired the next day. Otherwise fine. But if you find yourself tired tomorrow just allow yourself the rest as that's likely what it's from. Xx

@AnxiousLady1 bummers, I'm working tomorrow.

@footprintsintheslow You might not have any side effects though. Many say they just get the sore arm with that one. But if you feel more tired than the usual pregnancy fatigue you'll know it's that and not to worry. 😁

@footprintsintheslow I felt ok after the whooping cough jab, just a very sore and achy arm. I couldn’t lie on that side for a couple of nights. I didn’t feel especially tired though. I guess everyone is different.

Does anyone else here have difficult family relationships and have to set boundaries with their family? I'm having a difficult week and had a couple of conversations with my Mum which made it clear to me how little she thinks of me, and how demeaning she can be about my life choices. For some reason the most recent thing is ridiculing me for getting prepared for the baby, insisting that you don't know what babies need until they arrive and you don't need things like a pram until later. I'm fine for her to have that opinion but why can't she respect my opinion which is that I feel much more secure to be prepared, and to get everything ready whilst I still can - it's not like we haven't got lots going on elsewhere in our life! Anyway she said some really hurtful things, insisting there is something wrong with me, there's no wonder I can't get on with my colleagues at work, and that she must have brought me up wrong for me to turn out like this, and saying that all her friends agree that I am really over the top in buying things like a pram for my baby. I feel like I'm going mad, it's pretty normal to buy a pram for your baby right? I'm pretty sure everyone in my antenatal class had one (and more) and all my friends who've had babies have one? My lovely partner has reassured me that we are totally normal and we're not doing anything wrong (I mean of course we're not doing anything wrong, it's not like buying a second-hand pram for a baby is a harmful act in the world!!), and reassured me that its not me who is making these choices its both of us i.e. we're in it together. He's so lovely. I think if a random friend was criticising me over this I would find it easier to shake it off, but with my Mum it's harder. She has been repeating things to me for years and it has an impact (i.e. that there's something wrong with me, that she must have made mistakes bringing me up for me to end up so "wrong"). The pram is just the latest random thing that she's hooked into, she's always finding ways to undermine and criticise me and make me feel as though I'm not leading life well/properly.

I'm pretty sure she has been speaking to my sister too who has also been quite critical of me this week about getting prepared "so early" (I'm almost 33 weeks!), and dismissing my worries about moving house (if we can't get a mortgage we'll have to go back to renting which I'm not happy about). The message I'm getting all round is that I'm just being some sort of brat for a) preparing for my baby arrival and b) being stressed about trying to move house in a really tight time frame before baby is born.

It's just made me feel utterly shite and its making me reflect that maybe I need to set some boundaries around myself for when my baby arrives. When I'm getting to grips with being a new parent, sleep-deprived, and just trying my best (and failing in some ways inevitably) to be a good parent, the last thing I need is people criticising me and picking apart my decisions, making me feel not only that I've got things wrong but there is something fundamentally wrong with me.

This week I have tried calling friends in the evenings for a chat on days where I might have been tempted to call my mum for a chat, and its been lovely to speak to people I wouldn't usually call, to keep in touch, and not to have anyone criticise me randomly or have to spend hours/days worrying about things that have been said and wondering if there is something wrong with me.

It might sound obvious that I should have put some boundaries in with my Mum years ago - I think I've lacked clarity about how she treats me in the past, and I think the baby coming has made me feel the need to be more selfish and protect myself.

I don't want to cut her out completely - I don't think she can help how she is with me, she had a very abusive childhood and has a lot of issues - she's never been able to hold down an adult relationship and I am the closest person to her (I can see why adults in consenting relationships wouldn't stick around for the way she treats people close to her). She loved me as a child and I do feel she brought me up well and lovingly for the first years of my life which I'm grateful for. It was only as I got older (around 12/13) that she started to become destructive to me as it became clear I wasn't living up to her expectations. Anyway what I'm saying is she can't help the way she is and she's not a bad person, she just happens to be really bad for me and seems to default into the patterns of her father when she speaks to me (being quite abusive essentially - sometimes it's like she's on a mission to have me crying, and if I do cry that only spurs her on to say even more hurtful things).

I wondered if anyone else had difficulty with their families and had had to make changes in their relationships when starting their own families? I remember a few people had had trouble with family members being dismissive over their anxieties about being pregnant/having a young baby and didn't seem to recognise previous losses etc, but I don't know if that's anyone who's still on this thread! I'd be really grateful for any tips of how to keep someone at arms length whilst not cutting them out completely from things. I think my Mum might love being a grandma and I don't think she would treat my baby like she treats me, or not for the first few years at least.

Thanks xxx

Or more generally if anyone has tips with how they deal with criticism from others over their mothering! I'm aware that I've signed up to become a mother i.e. someone who is going to be open to criticism, judgement and unwarranted opinions from LITERALLY EVERYONE! I already feel a bit resentful of my partner because for all his insistence that we make decisions together and we're in it together - its already clear that its me who is going to take the brunt of criticism, no-one would think to criticise him for what we're buying for our baby! And I think that's just the reality of what is coming as a mother - major judgement from all angles. It would be great to have some tips from those of you who are already mums about how you deal with it or brush it off! xx

Hi all!! So sorry for the radio silence - quite a lot has happened since I past posted - most importantly, I now get to add my rainbow daughter to the list!! 💕💕

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived
@Hagster Baby boy has arrived
@tmc14 39wks Baby girl has arrived (08/10/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo Baby girl has arrived!

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈

@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 35wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 34wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 32wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 32wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 27wks (due 10/01/21) SURPRISE
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

My little girl (Mila Brooke) was born on Wednesday morning via emergency c-section. We had quite a hell of a labour / birth which I won't share here as it's quite traumatic BUT we have our little miracle and we are all here to tell the tale so feeling very grateful overall!
We were (lucky?!) enough to need a lot of care post birth so although we had to stay in hospital, we spent a few days being looked after 1:1 on labour ward which meant my partner got to stay - they were so good with him and helped him look after Mila and I'm so grateful!

We are home now and doing well - recovery is slow but steadily heading in the right direction and we are in a bubble of love (and tiredness...!!).

Can't wait to see more arrivals from all of you lovely ladies 💕💕

@MOGMOGMOG85 I hope I'm not speaking out of turn by saying this but your mum sounds emotionally abusive... what you describe is not ok or normal behaviour and you don't have to just put up with it.
Honestly, being a new mum is so overwhelming and you do not need that kind of negativity anywhere near you - you'll be feeling fragile already from hormones alone, you need to surround yourself with people who will tell you what an amazing job you're doing!!

All I can recommend with your mum is to make it clear "I want you to be grandma BUT you must respect this is my child, I will do what I think is best and that's ok if it differs from you. If i want your advice or opinion I will ask for it".

You're right tho - in general, we are always going to be judged as mothers. Be strong and know that YOU WILL KNOW what is best for you and your baby - nobody else's opinion matters!

💕💕💕

@MOGMOGMOG85 I'm really sorry to hear that your relationship with your mum is a challenge. I've got no experience personally, but I think things like, "I appreciate your input, but this is how DH and I feel is best to move forward" " thanks for your opinion, but we've decided that we need to be organised before baby arrives" and "If I need a second opinion on how we're thinking about doing things I'll definitely give you a call" might help to just out some distance in place, if you're just saying something on repeat, rather than letting her (frankly not very nice) opinions get under your skin. As a final resort if she's not getting it and is really upsetting you, "If you can't be supportive of our decisions I'd appreciate it if you kept your opinion to yourself". Blaming you for the issues you had at work made me fume, you were totally in the right in how you responded to genuine workplace discrimination.

I also think it would be worth having a frank conversation, or even maybe writing her a letter, expressing how she makes you feel. I would also set the boundary as soon as possible that you won't be spoken down to/spoken badly about in front of your child.

I can't imagine any of this is easy, I know you've mentioned quite a few difficult and challenging things with your mum through this pregnancy. And I understand not wanting to cut her out totally, but maybe it's something you need to raise with her. As in "If you want to have a relationship with your grandchild you need to be respectful of the decisions DH and I make about their upbringing and at very least be polite when you're speaking to me"

Sending you love and positivity my dear.

Also at 33 weeks I had virtually everything, clothes were washed and in the wardrobe in age size, my hospital bag was packed and in the car and I wasn't allowed to have my phone on silent so DH could always get in contact with me.... So buying a pram really isn't an excessive thing to be thinking about xx

@MOGMOGMOG85 I've taken a bit of a break from social media recently and haven't been active on this thread, but wanted to reply to your post. My dad has also used the 'there must be something wrong with you' line (followed up with 'well I just feel sorry for your DH') basically whenever I disagree with him. For what it's worth, I think that buying things for the baby while you are pregnant, and being stressed about moving house seem completely reasonable to me!

I don't have any particular advice because I don't think I am handling the situation with my parents very well myself, but my bereavement counsellor said that you can accept that someone's behaviour is just part of their personality and isn't going to change, without having to accept being on the receiving end of the behaviour. I found that a really helpful way of thinking about it.

Your friends and partner sound lovely! Can you limit the amount of information that reaches your mum and rely on your friends and partner for support in the coming months?

Phrases I've found useful are 'I haven't decided yet' (I use this when my parents are pressuring me for an answer over something which is totally outside of my control. I used to use it a lot when I was single and had interfering relatives asking when I was going to meet a man! But it works quite well for pregnancy-related things too). I also resort to 'DH and I have discussed this and we are happy with our decision' and many many variations on this, repeated ad nauseam.

@didslysquiddlydoo so good to hear from you! I am so thrilled that you have your rainbow daughter with you now! Congratulations, and for getting through a difficult and traumatic birth - I'm sorry it turned out that way xx wishing you a steady recovery, and hope you have the support in place to help you both out in the mean time! Its crazy that you describe needing 1:1 care in your post-birth hospital recovery as a "positive" in the context of corona but I guess you're right and it goes to show how hard it is for mums recovering from a "normal" section without any partners allowed! It sounds like you're on cloud 9 despite the trauma, and I'm so happy for you. Mila is a beautiful name - if you do get a chance I'm sure I'm speaking for everyone to say we'd love to see some piccies! xx thanks for the advice re: my mum, it's realising how hard being a new mum is going to be already that has made me realise i can't allow my precious energy and confidence to be sapped away. "i need you to respect my decisions, even if they're different from yours, with regards to my son" - is a really strong piece of advice. Maybe I can practice saying that or something similar and remember to use it if I need to, and not be afraid to repeat myself if necessary! I can already tell you 100% she won't just accept me saying that and I think it will make her quite angry and probably say some really nasty things, but I can give it a try and cross that bridge when I come to it xx

Thanks @Knotemma - its useful to hear that of course it's normal to be getting prepared! I actually felt a bit panicky at times seeing how prepared people on this thread have been and feeling I'm not quite there yet, but have come to accept I'll pick it all up in time! Going to tackle re-usable nappies and the insane amount of info around them today! How are things going with you and your lovely little Samuel? :) xx

@JuniperAndRose I do remember your previous posts now and how shocking they were! It's crazy what becomes "normal" in some families. I'm furious at your dad saying he feels sorry for DH, so awful :( also at your relatives asking when you're going to meet a man, I hate that kind of stuff! I was always in a relationship and stayed out of the spotlight but my poor cousin who (shock horror) took her time finding the right person was constantly being got at in our family, from a really young age like 16 it was constantly brought up! Now its the lack of children and her parents have responded to my pregnancy news by publicly complaining about their children not having children. They have no insight that they may have traumatised their own children who have no interest in passing that on! Unfortunately their son is gay and they disowned him when he came out, so that he felt he had to have a pretend girlfriend to please them. He is still so uncomfortable in his own skin and although he does want children he feels it would be "wrong" to have children in a homosexual relationship - so they literally made their own bed there!

Thanks for the tips of coming up with some phrases to protect yourself. I also agree I need to find myself a new "family" now, in terms of getting closer to friends and being grateful for my lovely partner and his family who are relatively so uncomplicated and certainly never try and shame you for things. I think over the years I've found it hard not to open up to Mum, it's like I'm always seeking some kind of love or reassurance which is never going to be forthcoming. I def need to set some boundaries to protect myself - one thought I had was not calling her unless its scheduled, i.e. having a weekly phone call on sunday afternoons, setting an alarm, and being prepared beforehand to not give her any personal details about my life, focus on talking about food, what we've been up to, her work, etc etc. I might also make sure my partner is in the room as his presence seems to help me notice more clearly when she starts slagging me off! It sounds stupid but I'm so used to it I don't notice even when she's being full on nasty and rude and I clearly wouldn't accept that from my partner or from friends.

Sorry you've found your parents difficult to deal with - it sounds like no wonder to be honest. Glad you're getting some counselling and hoping you're learning ways to navigate things - to protect you and your baby in the future! xxx

Realise I just wrote "unfortunately their son is gay" which may come across wrong! I meant that it's unfortunate for him given the parents he has as he has had a truly awful time because of it. It breaks my heart to see how lost he is in the world because he was treated like a "sinner" and "wrong" just for who he fancied. I tried my best to always be a positive LGBT friendly relative and to always mention things to make sure it was at least talked about in the family and that he knew his cousin over here at least thinks theres nothing wrong at all with being gay! But I think he is genuinely damaged from his upbringing where they tried so desperately to force him to not be gay, even from a young age around 6 it was fairly obvious as he used to want to dress up as a bride, and play with barbies, which they forced him not to and used to drag him to karate lessons and force him to play with action man - it was awful :(

so yeah just to be clear i'm 100% pro-LGBT and would hate if anyone read that and took it the wrong way!

@MOGMOGMOG85 Samuel is doing great, other than some reflux issues which were tackling... I've gotten very used to being covered in sick 🙈😂.

On the nappies front "Littles and Blooms" on Amazon and eBay and also "Alva" on their own website are decent pocket nappies, I'd suggest going for a mix of styles though. We have pockets, flats and covers and also 3 all in ones to start us off. Unfortunately Samuel's tummy button isn't quite fully healed and they sit a bit too high, do were currently still in disposable ones. That's what I get for having a tiny baby though!

Having a schedule to speak to your mum, some safe topics if conversation and a way of spotting when she starts to get unpleasant all sound like a really good start.
It might be worth having a mantra too, so when she does upset you, you have something positive to focus on and fall back on? Just an idea, I know a lot of us have had success with mantras to help when we've been anxious xx

@didslysquiddlydoo congratulations on Mila’s birth, sorry you had a traumatic time but sounds like the aftercare was pretty good. So pleased to hear you are home and settling into your new normal.

@MOGMOGMOG85 I’m sorry you are having these issues with your mum. At times like these you just want support from your parents, not criticism. I am currently NC with my dad, for different reasons, basically he was pretty unsupportive after we lost Isla including saying some pretty unforgivable things to me. I think grief thief is the appropriate term. I’ve been NC since December which I’m happy with. But my mum is still with him and I’ve had to set some boundaries with her because she has tried to get me to reach out to him and contact him and just lately I have had to say to her not to ask me to contact him anymore. It’s upto me how I deal with that, if I do, and I don’t need pressure from her. It’s no doubt coming from him but I wish she would respect snd support me over him. It’s sadly meant we have quite a superficial relationship now.

Anyway my point is, do whatever feels right to protect you and your baby. I agree you need to set boundaries and tell her firmly that her opinions aren’t welcome or helpful. Some good suggestions above. It’s great that your DH is so supportive, it makes such a difference to have someone on your side. Protect your little family and forget everyone else! Also everyone I know who has had a baby, including us, bought a pram and everything else beforehand, that is 100% normal.

Decided to update my weeks below as I’m 36 now and all being well we may have our baby next week. I went in for monitoring yesterday. I felt bad going in when I didn’t have concerns except my usual anxiety because they were really busy but they were so nice there, said they always want to see me and it doesn’t matter how busy they are, I can come in anytime. I went on the monitor for 45 mins and baby was moving around and wriggling loads which was lovely.

I do however have one issue which is constipation. I seem to veer between being really regular for a few weeks and then weeks of not going for 2-3 days which gets uncomfortable. I’m back to drinking fibogel and lactulose which helps but gives me a bad tummy ache. Also (TMI), my piles have reappeared from straining 😔. Not sure they fully went away after I had Isla but they are worse this time. Hoping they disappear after this one is born because they are not pleasant!

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived
@Hagster Baby boy has arrived
@tmc14 39wks Baby girl has arrived (08/10/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo Baby girl has arrived!

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈

@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 35wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 36wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 32wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 32wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 27wks (due 10/01/21) SURPRISE
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

@MOGMOGMOG85 and everyone else. I wish we all lived in the same town and we could hang out in real life!

I've been non contact with my mam for 6 years now. She sounds very similar to yours MOG. There was no big giant fall out I just never rang her one day and that's led to 6 years. I've not changed my number or address in that time and she's never contacted me. It's SO complicated as she sees my eldest daughter who is 21 but she doesn't know about my toddler, or about the babies we've lost or this one on the way. She doesn't know I'm married either. I sound like some Jeremy Kyle family but I can assure you we aren't.
My eldest daughter offered to tell her but I said only to do that if she wanted to and if it made her life easier. She hasn't told her so here we are in this crazy parallel universe.
I would never allow a void to grow between me and my daughter even if she was in prison for murder and yet my mum hasn't bothered for all this time for literally no reason. It's really screwed me up and I've spent a small fortune on counselling.

It's very similar to you MOG, she loved me when I was little and I was totally under her control then when I grew up with a mind of my own it was all about manipulating me and lies. There's reasons behind her behaviour linked to her sad upbringing but then there's reasons why her mother acted the way she did too. But the bottom line is I didn't want to put up with the emotional abuse anymore so I walked away to break the cycle.

No doubt this will all blow up one day but I'll worry about that in the future. So no advice from me I'm afraid other than good luck.

My dad lives abroad and is very distant emotionally due to his upbringing so I've had shit luck really. I was actually crying over it all this morning. Then I ate some crumpets and felt better!!!

In other news, I spoke to the midwife and she gasped at the results of my home arranged finger prick test. She said 'stay by the phone I'm ringing the hospital to get you in for a diabetes test'. So I'm going Monday first thing.

@footprintsintheslow glad your getting a GD test to see whats going on! Since I've been with my partner my Mum hasn't called me either, I always have to call her - so I do wonder what would happen if I just stopped calling. She has literally never called me in 8 years now. She doesn't like my partner and says he is sexist and abusive (these things are far from true!). She liked him at the beginning of our relationship (which I assure you is a massive feat, she has never once liked one of my boyfriends!), but after about a year/18 months of being together he stood up for me once against her and she was furious with him. Since then she asks about our relationship and tries to suggest that there is something sinister going on or that I'm not getting my needs met by him. He knows this and yet he is still kind and compassionate towards her (all my previous boyfriends have hated my Mum but he makes the effort to understand her flaws and see the good in her despite all this - he really is wonderful). Anyway, my theory is she stopped calling me as she has realised that she has a lot less influence over me with him in the picture, as he keeps me on the straight and narrow and helps me understand that the way she acts towards me is not my fault. I've become better at dealing with her moods and shaking off things she says to me and it really annoys her. Essentially I have already put a certain amount of distance between us and I really think she doesn't like me any more as a result of it. It's complicated. I def need to put that bit more distance between us now though. Sorry about your family - I do understand that feeling of sounding like you're in the Jeremy Kyle show if you were to explain some details of your background, but actually a lot of families have crazy stuff going on beneath the surface! Especially thinking how many on this thread seem to have issues with parents!

@Shefliesonherownwings I do remember the stories you shared of your dad and how awful I found them, after what you've been through... thanks for your advice, it's good to remember that protecting yourself and your family is the most important thing sometimes. I'm glad that no contact with your dad is working out for you and that he can't upset you any more as I remember the things he was saying to you :( xx
Wowowow 1 week to go! You are really on the home run now! I'm so glad you're able to keep getting monitoring and reassurance, you really need it at this time given what you've been through in the past with Isla :( Baby boy sounds SO healthy, I can't wait for you to have your rainbow baby in your arms xx
Sorry about the piles that sounds rough! If you don't mind me asking what are the main symptoms? I've been having a bit of pain and bleeding (nothing serious) which I thought might be that? I need to up my prune intake again. I try to drink prune juice every day. Only 1 week to go though I hope you get some relief soon! xxx

@Knotemma mantras are a great idea! I didn't realise Samuel was tiny, bless him! That's a good point about the belly buttons I guess I'll be using disposables at first until that heals as by all accounts its much easier. xxx

Happy Wednesday ladies. Hope everyone is doing well.

Updating my weeks again. Can't believe I'm mere days off being classed as full term. Starting to feel it this week for the first time and noticing the stretch marks have appeared suddenly. Thought I'd managed to dodge those! Have my growth scan tomorrow so I should have an idea then of baby's size and whether I'll need to revise my current birth preferences.

@didslysquiddlydoo - congrats on Milas arrival. Sorry to hear it was a traumatic birth experience. I'm sure the main thing is she is here now safe and both of you are doing well.

@MOGMOGMOG85 - Sorry to hear about the situation with your mum. That is definitely something you DONT need now that you are becoming a mum yourself. You've enough to deal with without unhelpful uninvited comments from others. Trust your own instincts as you have been doing. You can't ever be too prepared for a new baby. Many of them work to their own schedule and better to have some of those key items ready to go if he arrived a little earlier than due date for example. That's always been my primary driver for getting prepped a little earlier - just in case!

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived
@Hagster Baby boy has arrived
@tmc14 39wks Baby girl has arrived (08/10/20)
@didslysquiddlydoo Baby girl has arrived!

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈

@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 36wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 36wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 32wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 32wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 27wks (due 10/01/21) SURPRISE
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

Congratulations on the arrival of some more rainbow babies ladies. Been quite for a while, anxiety been on a top level doc has signed me off work for 2 weeks so I can destress hoping it works. Just another week to go to my nxt scan to I see how it's going and if peanut is still growing 🤞🍀🙏💚 have not put myself on the due date list just yet think if I get to my 12/13 week scan I will be ready to believe that things will work out and will add myself to it x

@MOGMOGMOG85 thanks, it still seems surreal to think we may have a baby by next weekend. I had a counselling suggestion today and We talked about what it might be like bringing a baby home but I still struggle to imagine it actually happening. I don’t think I’ll believe it until he’s in my arms.

Basically it’s sore and uncomfortable to go to the loo and I often get bright red blood on the paper when I wipe. I can also feel the piles with my fingers, I seem to have one external and one internal which (forgive the TMI!) comes out when I’ve been to the loo and then normally goes back in. They feel like little swellings basically. If I’m regular I have no problems with them but straining really seems to make them worse so I’m trying to avoid that as much as possible.

@MOGMOGMOG85 my mum always hated all my boyfriends and would often cause trouble and then lie about it. I think she was jealous and threatened that someone had my time and attention that wasn't her. It seems it's a common trait.
Have you ever delved into the 'Stately Homes' thread on mumsnet? It's full of people with parents like ours.

I’ve been reading through but haven’t had a chance to respond the last few days. Just wanted to post our candle for the wave of light. Remembering my tiny bean who didn’t make it, & all of your babies who you didn’t get to take home. Even in the joy of pregnancy and newborns, our previous children will never be forgotten xxx

@tmc14 thank you, I’m posting ours also for Isla and all the other babies taken too soon. Xx