Pregnant after Loss and Dreaming of Rainbows - 6

[Treaclepie19]

New thread!

@AnxiousLady1 I wouldn't put too much stock in growth scans, especially not as a reason to bring baby early.
I was scanned 5 hours before Samuel was born and was told he was on track with the other scans and should be in the 56th centile at about 8lb 4. He was actually in the 14th centile at 6lb12. A fairly recent study showed them to be comfortably 20% out the majority of the time.

@tmc14 so glad you've had a good night and feeding is going well, everything crossed you can get home today

Congratulations @tmc14 what a babe! Im so pleased for you. Hope you get home soon, and glad the awfulness of this week already seems some way away!
Thats what is worrying me a lot @Avocuddles, my dh not being there very much, especially if I have a section. My midwife said they have all complained about the restrictions so maybe things will change but I dont know. Trying not to think about it too much as I cant change it!
Happy friday everybody, another week down...!

Not going home today as the extra bleeding wasn’t quite sorted but it’s looking ok now so they’re thinking tomorrow morning. Had a lovely lunchtime visit from DH, and concentrating on the positives of lots of snuggles & plenty of uninterrupted skin to skin/feeding opportunities with baby. Weirdly, everyone seems to have left and the ward is so quiet!! Earlier in the week was obviously just a weird busy blip maybe!? Missing DS like crazy and he’s been asking where I am but it’s not much longer 🤞
The staff aren’t great on postnatal but with the absence of visitors they are happy to get you set up plugging in your phone, getting your bits where you need them etc. My advice would be to pack to make it easy to instruct someone where to put what within reach. So I had a small bag with snacks/phone charger/book that went on my bed. In my hold-all was a canvas bag with all the baby things that went straight on her crib... that sort of thing. And they do aim to remove the catheter & get you moving after 6 hours here so then it’s a lot easier to get your own bits.

@Knotemma 20% is a crazy error margin! So if they estimate 10lbs it could be 8lbs or 12lbs?! That’s quite the variation haha.

Oh, I’ve also been really surprised at how well I feel after surgery & a minor haemorrhage... not much pain at all, no other side effects & my complication is fine really, just taking a bit of extra time to sort. I was terrified of a section and I found the operation itself really strange to have (I also nearly passed out and felt very light headed but an oxygen mask sorted me out in seconds), but the first day of recovery has been really straightforward... just in case anyone was like me and worried about the surgical option. xx

Hi all. @tmc14 congratulations, so glad baby girl arrived safe and sound, she is gorgeous. Hope you do get to go home tomorrow but lots of lovely snuggles and skin to skin sounds wonderful.

I saw my midwife today and she went through lots of c section details so I feel a bit more informed about things and a bit happier about the steroid injunctions. But the worst thing is that DH cannot visit at all once we move to the labour ward. We are gutted. He basically gets to hold the baby whilst we’re on recovery and then that’s it until we go home. I am so sad that he gets to miss out on the first couple of days at least and also about how I’ll cope on my own. My midwife did say things may change but equally they may not as we are only 2/3 weeks away now. I’m so bloody sick of COVID now. DH has ordered a COVID test and we are now self isolating ourselves to be on the safe side but he still can’t come in. So frustrating that each area and trust is different. Honestly I’m so sad for DH, we lost Isla during labour last year so our hospital experiences haven’t been great and now he has to leave us after only a few hours and can’t be with this baby either. Sorry for the rant but I’d hoped he could come and see us even for just an hour or so each day. Not much we can do about it either unless things suddenly change 😔

@Shefliesonherownwings that’s so rubbish. Our hospital literally changed this week to allow a lunchtime visit, last week it was nothing. We both had covid tests at the unit that gave him a visitor pass. So still keep things crossed, especially as there seems to be several campaigns about maternity units & visiting. Maybe you can be in recovery for a bit longer too? We were ‘lucky’ in that postnatal was full so were kept in recovery for a long time, and if it’s straightforward you could well be home next day. It’s really unfair though & you shouldn’t have to be hoping for those sorts of situations just to have appropriate support. Sending a big hug, these are such tough & unfair times xx

Thanks @tmc14 the change in your hospitals position makes me feel a bit hopeful. However my hospital is in a higher risk COVID area although not currently subject to any local lockdowns, yet. Annoyingly where DH and I live, risks are lower.

I hope like you say we can stay in recovery longer or at least get home quickly. We are already frustrated with how little the impact on DH seems to matter in the clinical negligence claim we are pursuing following Isla’s death, this seems like another example of him not mattering.

We are ploughing on with getting ready for baby, bags being packed this weekend I think so hopefully that will be a good distraction.

@Shefliesonherownwings that is such a good point on how all of this distancing for partners affects men who have experienced loss. Of course you'd want him to be fully involved in a more positive experience this time :( I'm so sorry xxx

@tmc14 glad you're feeling healthy and recovering well and thanks for the positive c-section story! I'm worried with all my fibroids and anterior placenta about how they would even find a place to cut if they needed to...

about baby gifts, I don't know why but I'm struggling massively with our families and their different expectations! I have my mother in law who secretly gets very offended if I buy stuff for myself - it seems she would prefer to buy everything for us! At the same time she thinks things like a room thermometer and anything to do with safe sleeping are pointless because babies used to be kept in drawers! And then I have my mum who - bless her - is as tight as anything but feels an obligation to buy stuff so I suggested she buy something less expensive like the baby sleeping bag, where I asked MIL to buy the cot since she seemed to want to spend her money! Mum was happy to buy the baby sleeping bag at first but when I mentioned it the other day she started acting like it was some big obligation (honestly it's pretty strange for me to ask my mum to buy me something - in the past I would rather die than accept anything from her as I would pay for it 10 times over with her going on about it and trying to make me feel guilty!) so I said I was fine to buy it myself, and then she clearly still felt obliged and wanted to do it herself whilst not happy about it. I can't tell which family is more messed up - the ones who insist on shelling out on expensive gifts and get annoyed with you if you try to buy things yourself, or the ones who get annoyed if you ask for something like a baby towel even (I asked my sister for a baby towel as I thought its inexpensive and would make a nice picture that i can send her when i use it). OMG i'm going crazy, i would literally have preferred to buy everything myself, it would have been MUCH easier, i'm happy to buy things second hand, and I could have got things sorted sooner which I would have been happy about. Its not just family - friends want to send me things, my partners boss wants to send me things, but then these things haven't arrived yet and I don't know if I can count on them before baby is born. It's driving me crazy! I reckon I should have used covid to keep this a big secret from everyone, get myself sorted, then just announce the birth and avoid all this! Does anyone else struggle with gifting or is it just me? I don't know why I'm finding it all so stressful! xx

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived
@Hagster Baby boy has arrived
@tmc14 39wks Baby girl has arrived (08/10/20)

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈
@didslysquiddlydoo 41wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 35wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 34wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 32wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 32wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 26wks (due 10/01/21)
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

Rainbow arrivals have officially overtaken rainbows in waiting!

Congrats on the new arrivals ladies, if things work out for me yous will be well away by the time I'm ready to give birth lol xx

Thanks @babyghirl, I joined this thread at a really early stage too when I found out I was pregnant in February. October seemed such a long way away then. I am crossing everything that you get this. Today you are pregnant ❤️

@hagster
Thanx I will relax more when I get passed the first trimester I hope lol x

@Babyghirl I'm sure there will be new mums joining this thread and you'll be the experienced pro on the thread!

Maybe as the next thread starts we can add 'new members welcome' in the title.

Sometimes I've been put off jointing threads if I see they've been running a long time.

I've totally overdone it yesterday and felt dreadful last night. Me and the toddler went to the allotment field as my husband has to write an assignment to write for Tuesday so we got out of the way. R We were there for hours, digging and picking fruit and I'm aching everywhere and was very grumpy last night out of nowhere.

I also think I have gestational diabetes. The baby is massive, I'm thirsty all night every night and I cannot stop eating sweets which is very unlike me. I've done a finger prick test as my friend has a spare kit and it came out as 14.5! I repeated it and then it was a more normal 8. I'm going to ask at the drs tomorrow for a proper test when I go for my flu jab.

How do they manage diabetes in pregnancy anyway?

RAINBOW ARRIVALS 🌈
@Rachael321 Baby boy has arrived
@SammiLou2312 Baby girl has arrived
@Hoping2020 Baby girl has arrived
@Littlegoth Baby boy has arrived
@Knotemma Baby boy has arrived (17/09/20)
@avocuddles Baby girl has arrived
@Treaclepie19 Baby girl has arrived
@SunStruck Baby boy has arrived
@TunnocksTcake Baby girl has arrived
@Hagster Baby boy has arrived
@tmc14 39wks Baby girl has arrived (08/10/20)

RAINBOWS IN WAITING 🌈
@didslysquiddlydoo 41wks (26/09/20)⁣ GIRL
@DressingGown87 35wks (due 20/10/20)⁣ GIRL
@futuredreams 36 wks (due 03/11/20) GIRL
@AnxiousLady1 35wks (due 07/11/20)⁣ BOY
@Shefliesonherownwings 34wks (due 09/11/20)⁣ BOY
@MrsG3 28wks (due 16/11/20) GIRL
@Whiffle77 32wks (due 02/12/20)⁣ SURPRISE
@MOGMOGMOG85 32wks (due 05/12/20) BOY
@footprintsintheslow 27wks (due 10/01/21) SURPRISE
@turquoisebaby 24wks (due 24/01/21)BOY

@footprintsintheslow sorry to hear you are feeling rough today, I think a relaxing day at home is in order...with regards to gestational diabetes (GD) if you do have it, it will depend on the severity as to how it is managed. I had GD and they started off by trying to just manage it with diet (low sugar and minimal carbs as carbs been down into sugar but you still need some carbs) alongside monitoring your blood sugar levels at home. If that doesn't work to keep blood sugars ok, there is medication called Metformin they can get you to try. Finally, insulin injections if needed. I ended up having to take insulin by the last few weeks of my pregnancy as my GD got worse the further along I got. There is a possibility they may recommend an induction if baby is measuring big (although I was induced at 38 weeks as they expected my little girl to be huge and she was a tiny 6lb 10 lol!) One thing to note, GD isn't something you cause by eating too many sweets etc - it's due to the placenta and is just one of those things that can happen. On the brighter side, if you do have GD it is only for the duration of your pregnancy...you will go back to normal after baby is born ☺️ ask your doctor for a test if you haven't been offered one and fingers crossed you will be fine. If it turns out you do have GD feel free to message me and I am happy to try give you some advice if you need x

@SammiLou2312 thank you for all that information. It's very reassuring, it must be tough having to limit what you eat. It's one of the only things that gets me through a day is thinking what to eat next! 🍬🍭🍬

@footprintsintheslow You'd be surprised at what you can actually eat. I lived on lots of bacon and eggs and cheese haha. I just really missed my chocolate.

@footprintsintheslow sorry you had a bad day - I get totally overwhelmed too when I'm overtired! I don't think it's uncommon to have a major sweet tooth in last trimester, or to be thirsty, but def get it checked out. If you're worried I'd def try cutting down on the sweeties if you can as it sounds like that would be the main solution to GD anyway - good luck, I know what you mean it's very hard to not eat what you want at this stage! I've been super thirsty this whole pregnancy, I have to have a pint of water by my bed at night and drink it through the night and still wake up thirsty in the morning, but I've never had anything flagged up with regular blood/pee tests etc..

I've had a really bad day too - or a bad evening - last night. We were off visiting our new city that we're moving to (hopefully!) and taking some measurements of our (hopefully) new house etc, and it's a 3 1/2 hour round drive so it was a long day. We stopped and spent some time with friends in the afternoon before heading home which was lovely, but during that time I became aware that I hadn't felt much from baby during Friday night, a bit Saturday morning and then practically nothing all day, including only 2 movements whilst I was sitting still for 4-5 hours during the later part of the day. I decided to go to the hospital as soon as we got back, but it was a long wait and I was in there for 3 hours in total, not getting home until almost 10. Usually whilst waiting he kicks off and moves like crazy and I actually feel relaxed by the time I get hooked up to the monitors but this didn't happen, I just felt nothing. They put me on the monitors but I didn't feel they attached them very well - the heartbeat was so faint I had to push down on one of the monitors for the whole half hour and I don't think the machine was picking it up properly as it was measuring between 110-120 rpm for the first 15 mins and then when I moved to a new position it seemed to register better and was between 130 and 140 after that... I only felt one movement in the whole half hour. The nurse said it was fine and didn't seem fussed at all. I said the movement was very low for me and I was still worried. She then looked at my notes and mentioned my "anxiety" which made me feel like an inconvenience and as though I was just making things up. Anyway they have put me on the list for a scan and I am waiting for a call either today or tomorrow. When we got home from the hospital I lay down on my side for the first time all day and of course I then was able to feel about 5 movements in a short space of time. There was a brief period of movement this morning too - 8-10 movements in a few minutes. I don't know why I am just feeling really anxious now, not confident at all, and still don't feel happy. I can't tell if it's in my head or if there's something wrong and it's driving me insane! I guess I have my scan coming up and that should decide things. His heart is fine and he is definitely still moving so I guess I should be grateful and trust that things will be ok - if something is wrong the scan will pick it up and they will be able to help. I just don't know where my confidence has gone today. I think maybe he must be in a different position and I'm feeling things fainter - I hope so anyway - they didn't give me any reassurance to this effect in the hospital just said it was all fine but didn't know why I was feeling less movement...

This is the fourth (I think??) time I've been in for reduced movement and the second time I've been to the evening/weekend team who are in a different department. I have to say it is a much less pleasant experience as you have to wait for hours and then they don't seem to pay much attention/care... I think they are busy with emergencies in between fitting in the women who have come in for reduced movement so its probably difficult for them to care about something which doesn't seem significant to them. The daytime team of midwives are so lovely and the service is so efficient and they seem so very experienced in reading the monitors and graphs, it's much more reassuring...

Anyway hope you and me both have a better day today @footprintsintheslow - its lovely and sunny here and its my first day in 3 weeks where I have nothing to do but get things sorted around the house etc so I'm hoping I will feel better by the end of it! xxx

I'm worrying about visiting too @Shefliesonherownwings, although our restrictions are two hours a day so not as hard as yours. One thing I wanted to say though is that at my midwife appointment last week, she said they had just had a team day and every single one of them has complained about the restrictions and said visiting rights must be improved. As it was unanimous, I would guess your midwives are saying the same so things may change. There is a lot of pressure on the hospitals about it at the minute, so fingers crossed for you and DH. Either way hopefully you won't be in very long and it will be a distant memory for you both, but it is crappy.

Sorry you are feeling rough @footprintsintheslow its so easy to over do it without realising! Ive been thirsty most of the way through my pregnancy, not considered it may be GD to be honest...

Exciting we have more arrived than waiting! I wonder how @didslysquiddlydoo is getting on

Yes @didslysquiddlydoo hope you are ok - by my calculation you are past 42 weeks now!

Is anyone else working on a birth playlist? It's really hard, I started early on in the pregnancy and have added lots and lots of very chilled out music but as I get closer I think I might need something a bit more energetic to get me through! Its quite impossible to know what you'll feel like. I guess at the end of the day I might not even want to listen to music, but I find it calming putting music together so I guess it has a purpose! Curious if anyone else is doing it and what your thinking is behind it!

For those asking - Didlsy has had her baby (on Wednesday) and I believe all is well. She sent a quick update to graduate group and I believe will post further update when she has settled in back home 😊

@MOGMOGMOG85 I've started with a playlist but it's very hard to judge what to put on it. I've got a lot of Disney/musical songs as they generally make me happy 🤷‍♀️ Not sure if I'll use it or not though!

Ahh brilliant news, thanks @AnxiousLady1! Glad all is well.

I've not even thought about a playlist to be honest @MOGMOGMOG85 - I have no clue what i would want to listen to?!

@MOGMOGMOG85 I've had a birth playlist for three years now. Constantly adding and taking from it. I've added some screen shots. There's no calming music or anything just stuff I absolutely love. I listen to it all the time.

I feel a lot better even though I haven't rested at all. I needed to be out of the house as my husband has an assignment to be in on Tuesday for uni. Yesterday was an outdoor working day and today I basically spent 4 hours in John Lewis just am long about and having a nice time.

I'm also starting to finish my cross stitch that I started when I was pregnant 21 years ago!!! Baby came a week early so it never got finished and I've stashed it away all this time lol. This is the last baby so it needs to finish. I'll send pictures when it's done.