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Pregnancy

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Original poster

Apparently my husband has absolutely no idea how the female body works!

157 replies

BigThunderMountainRailroad · 13/09/2020 15:13

This happened last night and it honestly had me rolling about the place laughing.

My husband and I are expecting our first baby. I’m 21 weeks today. Our sex life since I’ve become pregnant has honestly been as good as ever. Passionate and loving a few times a week. Last night in bed I roll over and start “trying it on” as such and he gives me the cold shoulder. This has NEVER happened before so naturally I was worried, did he not find my pregnant body attractive any more? I press him on it and he doesn’t say a lot, all I get was “I’m just not in the mood”. I refuse to accept this so I press him more until he FINALLY admits he’s been reading the baby’s development week by week and he read that the baby learns to grab this week, they will start grabbing their ears, nose and umbilical cord..

Turns out he’s TERRIFIED the baby is going to grab his dick during sex!!! 😭😂 i could hardly breathe through the laughing to explain this isn’t possible!

My husband is honestly the most intelligent person I know, very well educated.. but I think he needs to go back and sit some secondary school biology lessons!!

OP posts:
Lollol86 · 13/09/2020 18:51

Omg all you going on about if he said no it means no, the op has clearly put he has NEVER done that before, if that was me I'd also want to know what had changed.

This is hilarious, you definitely made my night 😂😂

SpilltheTea · 13/09/2020 18:53

Men really don't listen in sex ed do they?

EDSGFC · 13/09/2020 18:57

@SpilltheTea

Men really don't listen in sex ed do they?
I think the problem is sex ed not being done properly.

How many women aren't that knowledgeable about their own bodies? Or men's bodies? Or about sex and pregnancy? Just from the number of "unplanned pregnancy" threads we see on here where the poster is shocked that they got pregnant but admit they weren't using contraception or were using the pull out method shows how sex ed is seriously lacking.

Again with periods - certainly when I was at school the girls were taken out to learn about periods. Are boys taught about them, and I don't mean just the biology but about sanitary protection, how it works etc? If they aren't ever taught how do they know?

BewilderedDoughnut · 13/09/2020 18:59

Did he think that his penis was reaching the baby before but he was safe because they couldn’t yet grab? That’s the bit that’s disturbing me the most!

JamieLeeCurtains · 13/09/2020 19:00

This reply has been deleted

This post has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

gamerchick · 13/09/2020 19:05

There are so many people on here rushing to post nasty comments, I wonder if they are as unpleasant in real life

Possibly, I think personally there are a lot of people desperately in need of getting laid Wink. It's been a strange year. Nobody can let any kind of thread just be without having a nasty jibe at the OP.

Because they have issues. It's quite sad really on a roll eye type of way.

BruceAndNosh · 13/09/2020 19:07

@Oneandabean

My brother thought women pee and have babies from the same hole, his son was 2 when he thought this 🤦‍♀️
I have read threads on Mumsnet where women are unaware that they have three orifices, and think they wee via their vagina . (actually some women do this to a certain extent if the exit of their urethra is unusually positioned. )
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 13/09/2020 19:08

My husband - with a First Class oxbridge degree - thought if I had my Fallopian tubes clipped that my periods would stop

FenellaVelour · 13/09/2020 19:10

@Heffalooomia

My husband is honestly the most intelligent person I know, very well educated then the explanation is clear, he see's women as incidental creatures, not fully human or important enough for him to bother learning anything about differences in biology Men are the 'real' people, women are appendages to men etc
Oh my word, this site sometimes...
gamerchick · 13/09/2020 19:11

@FlowerPig

I spy some of the same negative nellys that were being rude on my earlier post too.

I was considering never posting on here again but if they can be the same on this post it says more about them than me!!

I wonder how shit life has to be to feel the need to be so miserable and serious online all the time?

The story made me laugh OP!! Grin

There is a gang of MRAs on Mumsnet trying to bring it down from the inside. It's not a secret. They're best just ignored personally... imo.
JenniferSantoro · 13/09/2020 19:28

You can’t cure stupid!

DeliciouslyFemale · 13/09/2020 19:33

Considering what children are being taught in schools now, I doubt they’re going to be any less confused. 🤷🏻‍♀️

FlowerPig · 13/09/2020 19:36

@gamerchick My post and their comments were nothing to do with men's rights (if I have MRA right) so I've come to the conclusion they're either just wind up merchants commenting to keep themselves entertained because they have nothing better to or they're genuinely unhappy in life and feel a need to pick at people unnecessarily online....either way it's no skin off my back.

Almost took the bait at first but like you said....it's a shame in an eye roll kinda way.

Alwaysinpain · 13/09/2020 19:36

@Sunnydaysstillhere

My exh hadn't seen a women's genitals until I was in labour.. He was 43 with a degree.
How the hell did you get pregnant then?!?!
BiBabbles · 13/09/2020 19:39

Aposterhasnoname Grin That reminds me of someone I knew who thought, when things went well, that women went into hospital a week before their due date to 'settle in before the birth'. Apparently, growing up he'd heard from his mother, grandmothers, and other women their age about staying a week or so in maternity houses/hospitals and he got to twenty-ish before finding out that was typical time spent there after the birth.

gamerchick · 13/09/2020 19:41

[quote FlowerPig]@gamerchick My post and their comments were nothing to do with men's rights (if I have MRA right) so I've come to the conclusion they're either just wind up merchants commenting to keep themselves entertained because they have nothing better to or they're genuinely unhappy in life and feel a need to pick at people unnecessarily online....either way it's no skin off my back.

Almost took the bait at first but like you said....it's a shame in an eye roll kinda way.[/quote]
There are a group of people who are actively trying to get Mumsnet shut down. The outside target advertisers and the like and the inside troll the boards, being unnecessary nasty within T&C's to chase away members and give us the reputation we're a pack of twats and best avoided.

Of course there are people who have issues in their lives who take it out on others on here. To be pitied more than anything I think.

Sunnydaysstillhere · 13/09/2020 19:45

You don't actually need to look to know what needs doing do you?

FlowerPig · 13/09/2020 19:46

@gamerchick what a grim existence, must wear them down being assholes all day online?!

Here I was all naive thinking us women stick together and support each other...until today 😆 I wont hurry to ask for advice/opinions again on here I know that much.

SignOnTheWindow · 13/09/2020 19:49

@MattBerrysHair

Years ago a pregnant friend told me that she had eaten porridge at work which was too hot and she burned her mouth. She told her dh later as it was bad enough to blister the roof of her mouth. He got cross with her for not being careful because she 'could have burned the baby'. He is an oxbridge educated accountant.......
Fucking hell!!
RealityExistsInTheHumanMind · 13/09/2020 19:49

Made me laugh

And there is a serious issue on here about mixing up 'intelligence' and 'education'.

It doesn't matter how intelligent you are - you either know (have been taught and remembered or learned from elsewhere) something or you don't. Intelligence has nothing to do with it.

carreterra · 13/09/2020 20:02

My most recent ex was offered a freshly laid hen's egg at a farm 2 years ago. A farmhand handed him this egg, which was behind a haystack. He looked stunned, looked at the farmhand, looked at the egg in his hand, back again & so on. I thought, oh no, don't say anything stupid, just say thankyou for the egg, and that you will cook it for your breakfast. He eventually spoke & said
"Well, how come those hens are still laying eggs, and there is no cockerel around?" Grin
The farmhand tried to supress laughter, but wet herself, her niece who was helping that day crumpled with mirth, and I walked off laughing, I was ashamed of him.
Yes OP, you are right. Compulsory, basic biology lessons, even for "men of the world!"

Ellie56 · 13/09/2020 20:08

He's the most intelligent person you know? You must know some right clowns
Grin Grin

NotSorry · 13/09/2020 20:08

@Thisismytimetoshine

He's the most intelligent person you know? You must know some right clowns
😂😂😂😂😂
gamerchick · 13/09/2020 20:11

[quote FlowerPig]@gamerchick what a grim existence, must wear them down being assholes all day online?!

Here I was all naive thinking us women stick together and support each other...until today 😆 I wont hurry to ask for advice/opinions again on here I know that much.[/quote]
You've just illustrated my point Grin

If anyone can just ignore the arseholes then they might bugger off. Yanno, when you just ignore the really drunk person in the room spouting crap and carry on like they're not there Wink

timegoesbysoslowly · 13/09/2020 20:16

@Sunnydaysstillhere

Once was with a man who wanted to know how I had a wee with a tampon in.
Same my Dp thought we only had one hole not two