Late October Babies 2020 - Thread 5

[DressingGown87]

Thread 5 ladies!

Girls: @DressingGown87 @Jaffas22 @DogCatDex @EmmaA96 (twins) @Parks11 @LadyB90 @Strawberries4days @LST87 @sls668 @plentyofplants Uppsydaisy (Girl twin)

Boys: @sunbreak @FirstSurprise001 @WaveStreet @roarfeckingroar
@Mc3209 @KitKatKit @1990shopefulftm @Lolllyf @HelenMarie1001 @Freddie1987 @BS9790 @hmeadow24 @Ghostworld @roarfeckingroarr @Glooorb @mamavee @UpsyDaisy1234 (Boy twin) @Samk93

Surprise / Waiting
@60sPony @Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt @AdventureAhead @Elizag20 @justtb @Clalou83 @SJR86 @Flora20 @Watersintheclouds @Jaffas22 @justtb

If I have missed you! Sorry! I did quickly scan through the start of the last thread, to add people and update the list, but only did this quick.

@AdventureAhead I sent them through this straight after the meeting this morning with a ‘FYI primips means first child’ but got no response.
You’re right in that they have to allow reasonable time for appointments but all I ever get is sarcastic comments. At the end of the day they’ve been taken to court regarding comments they’ve made whilst other women were pregnant in the office before, you’d think they’d have learnt their lesson!?

@FirstSurprise001 wow, it's no wonder women are terrified of their career being put on hold by having babies when we get treatment such as that. Those comments would rile me up no end!! Am I right in assuming it's a male dominated or managed environment? Good on you for giving them the straight up facts this morning, it's great that you now know your rights so make sure they don't try and make you take holiday for any further appointments. X

@Freddie1987 very much male managed! It’s only a small business of 4 with both managers being male. Their behaviour has already made pregnancy/furlough/lockdown more difficult and upsetting than it probably needed to be, to the point that most meetings end up with me in tears afterwards. Definitely makes you realise why women are having babies later and later so as not to affect their career!

@Chl00 yes, I've been getting BH since about 20 weeks (FTM). Fun times.

@FirstSurprise001 your employers are being pricks. They have contractual obligation to provide paid time off for antenatal appointments. Definitely don't take any leave for this, and if that was me, I would be keeping a log of what was said (emails are super for this) and threatening legal action if this BS continues. Stand your ground on this.

Hi @AdventureAhead, I also have a very active baby who enjoys thrashing around lol it's nice but like you say it can be a bit exhausting especially at night time and early morning! It's lovely and I love to feel her moving but I'm really taken by surprise sometimes at how constant it sometimes feels! I find that as soon as I get my husband to feel my belly she goes really quiet as though she knows that it's him and is on her best behaviour

Me and DP are going out for a fancy meal tonight, its tapas and I'm wondering how strictly you lot are following the food rules.. This place does an amazing cheese and cured meat board, would you have a nibble of any blue cheese or cured meat? Or avoid completely? Manchego is the one I want particularly, its unpasturised which is a no - but also a hard cheese, so maybe okay?

@FirstSurprise001 that would drive me nuts. I started a thread a couple of months ago asking if I was unreasonable to be pissed off that my usually great manager - who trusts me to do my pretty senior strategy job with no questions - asked if I had considered a quicker route to "all these appointments". As it was AIBU I had half the posters come on to tell me I was unreasonable to ever expect to be taken seriously at work again now I'm having a baby 😆, but it really annoyed me because we're legally obliged to have the time off work for basic maternity care. I would struggle not to point this out...

@FirstSurprise001 Do you want to work for that company longterm?

@Chl00 I've been having them from about 20 weeks too! Belly just gets really tight for a minute it's like I can see him under there lol, sometimes it's a bit painful because of the tightness.

@FirstSurprise001 sorry that your workplace aren't understanding, I think FTMs have more appointments and I think it varys too on areas as I still haven't had a face to face appointment and I'm 29+3.

@GhostWorld I've been awful to be honest but I'm really laid back with COVID stuff too. So far I've eaten sushi twice, a charcuterie board and rare steak. I'm avoiding pate and blue cheese (except Stilton, that's allowed).

@GhostWorld I am being quite careful, and staying away from cured meat (and I LOVE cured meat, was part of my staple diet pre pregnancy...). Same with cheese, but now you mention Manchego, I definitely ate good amount of that! It didn't occur to me to even check the package as it was hard cheese from Lidl (they have it during their Spanish week), I just assumed that most supermarket hard cheeses were pasteurised. I definitely had steak once or twice which was not 100% well done too, I mean, it wasn't dripping blood, but definitely had pink in it. So to answer your question, I personally would stay away from the platter, with the view of fully indulging once the baby is born.

@Chl00 I've started getting BH over past two days. Not going to lie, I reckon whoever said they were just "uncomfortable" was probably a man.

@roarfeckingroarr yeah last night it did hurt a little bit and it made me panic because when I had a couple last week they didn’t hurt it just felt tight, so I’ve booked onto some online antenatal classes to prepare me for labour😂

@roarfeckingroarr that’s ridiculous 😂 surely in this day and age, with how many women a year have children, people would just come to terms with the fact that women can and want to do both! At the end of the day a typical appointment lasts half an hour at the most, if I was in the office I’d spend that long over the course of every day walking to the toilet anyway 😂

@Mc3209 Before I got pregnant I would have probably said yes, I enjoy the work and speaking with so many different people a day. But now that they’ve made this into such a big deal, it’s making me think what would they be like on my return. Would I be granted reduced hours if I asked for it? How would they react to me needing a day off of the baby was ill?

To sum it up for you all, when I told them I was pregnant and ran through the typical maternity forms I was told on my return to work the only office that would be available to pump milk in is the one completely made of glass 👀

@GhostWorld I haven’t followed them. I don’t generally eat unpasteurised cheese much at home anyway. I have eaten Camembert, creamy Gorgonzola, salami, cured meats etc. I think so many of the dietary guidelines are out of date. You can google anything and find a reason not to eat it! I would be more wary of pre packaged vegetables and salads in terms of listeria risk. I would definitely have some of the platter if I was going out!

I've been eating everything you're told not too. I think the risk is so minimal nowadays.

I use the non bio liquid. I find it fine but tougher poonami stains etc would need a pre treatment for sure!!

Any other October mummies opting for a ELCS??

@GhostWorld I don't like cheese or cured meat really, I d say I've stuck to the eating rules for the most part. I've had prawn toast a few times but I reckoned it was hot enough it's probably fine and a couple of cheesecakes which I'm not sure if it was pasteurised or not.

@FirstSurprise001 are your HR department any good if your work has one? wondering if it's worth you going to them to discuss the issues you've had with your manager.

@1990shopefulftm with it being such a small company, all HR is dealt with by my manager anyway. Difficult position to be in but just on count down now until I can go on maternity leave! 6 weeks to go!

@FirstSurprise001 that must be very difficult, hang on in there and you have plenty of time on mat leave to figure out what to do afterwards.

@Glooorb sorry to hear you have GD, hope your feeling ok and having a better week.

@Clalou83 Sorry i can’t offer any advice, but hope the remedies mentioned offer you some relief.

@SamK93 I’ve just got the Fairy powder, as it was on offer. Really need to start doing the washing.

@FirstSurprise001 I’m not surprised your annoyed at their comments, you would have thought they would have learnt from previous. My company is small and make orientated, and I’m the first EVER employee who has taken MAT leave in 65 years (my boss is 96 🙈), but they are being great. But slightly confused on how it all works. Hope that screenshot you sent them, shuts them up! And that the next few weeks go quickly until you can start MAT leave and ignore them!

@AdventureAhead I had a few days last week of constant movement, it was so distracting the constant movement. But now I have the polar opposite, they think she was just getting comfy and into a new position, she is head down now. Can you feel the position of baby? They do say to call if your concerned over reduced or increased movements, so call your MW if it will help reassure you.

@GhostWorld can’t help on the food sorry, as I’m quite a fussy eater. But I’ve had a medium rare steak.

I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus the last few days. I’m exhausted, feel very run down, everything aches. I ended up in a triage last night, as she had stopped moving yesterday. Turns out even though I was scanned on Thursday, my blood flow has been reduced. Was there for hours whilst they monitored me, but as I didn’t have anything with me, couldn’t get hold of anyone to bring me anything, they let me home (5mins away). Been back this morning for more tests, slept all afternoon, and have to go back in at 8am. I’m just emotional and exhausted, and right now scared!

@DressingGown87 oh dear, fingers crossed everything is well. Take care! Did they say why the blood flow just reduced suddenly? It's good that you are getting monitored!!

@DressingGown87 where did you get yours?
I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through since last night. What's happening with the results of all these tests they've been doing? What's the reason they want you back tomorrow? Try and rest up don't stress about it. Hopefully it all turns out okay they just have to keep a closer eye on you, I know it must be scary as you just have no idea what's going on but it's good they're being thorough with you and monitoring you, your in the best hands I'm sure. Try not to overthink it, just relax this evening.

@DressingGown87 I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such a stressful couple of days! Get plenty of rest and a big bar of chocolate down you! ❤️

@SamK93 @Glooorb i only went in because she hadn’t moved, I had tried everything, and was going to ignore it. She is moving today thankfully. They tested the blood flow to the placenta last Thursday. Everything was fine. Last night they said it was reduced on the Doppler, so tomorrow have to have a detailed scan to see if they can find the cause. Her heartbeat was down to 72bpm and then went up to 170bpm, they said it should vary, but not that much. Going to try have a nice tea and watch selling sunsets.
I got the Fairy from my local wholesaler store, JTF.

@ghostworld forgot to say have a nice evening x

@DressingGown87 big virtual hugs to you. Sounds like you are in good hands, and they are doing everything they can to get to the bottom of things.