Late October Babies 2020 - Thread 5

[DressingGown87]

Thread 5 ladies!

Girls: @DressingGown87 @Jaffas22 @DogCatDex @EmmaA96 (twins) @Parks11 @LadyB90 @Strawberries4days @LST87 @sls668 @plentyofplants Uppsydaisy (Girl twin)

Boys: @sunbreak @FirstSurprise001 @WaveStreet @roarfeckingroar
@Mc3209 @KitKatKit @1990shopefulftm @Lolllyf @HelenMarie1001 @Freddie1987 @BS9790 @hmeadow24 @Ghostworld @roarfeckingroarr @Glooorb @mamavee @UpsyDaisy1234 (Boy twin) @Samk93

Surprise / Waiting
@60sPony @Monkeyseesmonkeydoesnt @AdventureAhead @Elizag20 @justtb @Clalou83 @SJR86 @Flora20 @Watersintheclouds @Jaffas22 @justtb

If I have missed you! Sorry! I did quickly scan through the start of the last thread, to add people and update the list, but only did this quick.

@SamK93 Hugs from me too, that sounds pretty miserable. Do you have any family nearby? Is there any chance you could take a few days away at your mum's for example, make it clear to him that you need him to step up but also just get a bit of a break? X

@Flora20 thank you, I live in the West Midlands and my mum lives all the way up in Glasgow unfortunately. I don't have any other family, apart from his, his parents live abroad and his sisters have their own lives. He woke up, ignored my existence had a cup of tea and left for walk. Just a shitty feeling when I haven't done anything to deserve to feel like this.

@SamK93 That sounds crappy, I'm sorry you're not being supported the way you should be. It's not on and I can't imagine how difficult it is for you with little ones already on top of being pregnant.
Would you consider putting your foot down and instead of asking him, actually tell him "This is what you're doing at this time"?

I appreciate it's easier for an outsider to make suggestions when we know nothing about your relationship. Sending you a hug in solidarity anyway x

@SamK93 glad your cold is getting better. That sounds a really sh*t situation, and he needs to wake up and realise you need his help now, and after the baby is born Atleast with the other DC as a minimum. This guilt tripping you, is not on. Don’t get upset (although very easy for me to say) You sound like your doing an amazing job keeping going despite feeling like crap, and looking after the DC. But do make sure you look after yourself.

Sounds like you need to try and talk to him, and he really needs to wake up to reality, and his responsibilities as a parent, and a adult, especially as there is no one else to help you out. Big Hugs.

Got very anxious yesterday after reading some people's experiences on post natal wards yesterday, my DH has very much fully trusted medical professionals and never questioned them (whereas I'm very much someone who would question something I didn't agree with and want to know exact risks vs benefits rather than taking their word for it).

I wrongly just assumed if they said baby and I should be in a ward after birth that he'd disagree with me wanting to leave, but he's agreed if mentally I get too stressed and feel like the ward's too busy to get enough rest or support he'll be straight there to get us if I want to discharge myself, so feel like I've got a bit of control back over the situation now.

Thank you @DressingGown87 @KitKatKit for your advice and reassurance it's always nice that I count on you all to just be there for me it makes me feel a lot better.

@1990shopefulftm if you give birth in the midwife let units they usually discharge within a few hours if all checks are okay with baby. With my DD I gave birth on delivery, got moved to the ward, once all baby's checks, injection done and everything came back fine then I was allowed home the same day. They won't keep you there unnecessarily only if there's concerns with you or baby or until they've completed all routine post birth checks and they will happily discharge as soon as they can. Don't be anxious I'm sure it will all be fine.

Has anyone else become a waddler? Or is it just me 🤦🏽‍♀️ I don't remember being this big at 33 weeks with other two but I am definitely waddling now as his head is so low down.

@SamK93 yes the midwife unit would currently let me go home the same day if all is good, I think it's that what if I develop a complication or end up having to be induced or have a c- section that I hadn't properly thought about until yesterday as there's minimal hope of the restrictions on the wards getting any better at this point.

If there's concerns I would consider staying, but at least I know if the ward was short-staffed and I was struggling alone that DH is completely on my side of leaving if I feel it's better for us to.

oh and yes, I've been waddling for a couple of weeks, the midwife at my 31 week appointment said his head was quite low down.

@1990shopefulftm You're right, none of us know how are labours will be so we should also expect the unexpected. Hopefully it will be smooth sailing but if not at least you have the peace of mind that he will support any decision you make so try not to worry.

@SamK93 yes, you're right. Unfortunately, the unexpected has happened a lot in my families medical history which I know adds to my anxiety.

I've rearranged the kitchen counters to make space for the steriliser and prep machine today, suddenly felt very real for a moment.

@SamK93 your welcome. Hope your feeling a bit better, and you’ve managed to speak thing through. I’ve not noticed a waddle yet, but am feeling very big and heavy 😭

@1990shopefulftm I think it’s worth just being mentally prepared to stay in if you need to. But glad you have your DPs support. I am of the opinion If they want you to stay then there is generally a reason for it, especially during these uncertain times, I think they would prefer people to leave straight away. My friend “masked” her pain, to get discharged quickly. She ended up ill, and back in for even longer.

I’ve been so productive these last few days. Cleaned everything from the oven, fridge, light fittings, gas fire. Feel absolutely knackered now. One weird body change I’ve had, (which I didn’t even think was pregnancy related until I saw a thread) is skin tags all over my neck! Anyone else had them?

@DressingGown87 That is incredibly productive :)

I've lost a few loved ones due to hospitals not finding problems until it was too late and I thought when I got pregnant that it wouldn't be a problem for me mentally as I knew visiting was pretty good on the ward so wouldn't be alone for long if i needed to be there. But knowing it's been 3 hours a day since April and there's no sign of them changing that,I'm struggling to get my head round that possibility mainly.

I went out on a walk this morning as usual and then got home and after sitting down for a bit, I've now not been able to put my full weight through my left hip and knee since. I would be horrendous on crutches but wondering if i should be admitting defeat and asking the midwife if i can borrow some if it carries on.

@DressingGown87 I've been on a cleaning/tidying binge too, my daughter has started back at the childminder's on Mondays and Tuesdays so I'm having to fit things in on those days! Spent today emptying the kitchen cupboards and shelves, scrubbing it all and rearranging... The number of spiders living in our kitchen is crazy this year!

I got a few skin tags first time round but haven't found any this time - yet!

@1990shopefulftm Speak to the midwife. My sister in law ended up in a wheelchair for the last few weeks of her last pregnancy because she insisted she was fine (sorry, that's not intended to scare you but it horrified me at the time!) Anything she can offer to help you, take it - you only have to use it when you feel you need it x

@Flora20 On the plus side I'm not going anywhere until babies born apart from short walks so if it doesn't get better and I could have crutches just so I could still get out for a bit of fresh air every day then I would take that happily. Glad I got organised earlier in my pregnancy so i don't need to worry about sorting anything.

@1990shopefulftm I know the post today, hasn’t changed anything. Sorry to hear you’ve had bad experiences. Hopefully everything will be ok. With the birth. I would speak to the midwife to see if they can offer any help.

@Flora20 it’s so rewarding isn’t it. I did the kitchen cupboards a few weeks ago. I hate spider season. Hopefully you can enjoy some you time too. It’s so weird, I would never have thought pregnancy gives you skin tags, did yours go after the birth?

Just catching up with everything 🙂.

@SamK93 I'm sorry you're still having a hard time with him. Exactly what you don't need right now - or ever really. The "wake me up at lunch time" is bad enough, you have other kids!! Why on earth does he think it's ok to leave everything to you, let alone when you're pregnant? Have you asked him this straight out? Hugs to you, you deserve to be taken care of not taken advantage of.

@1990shopefulftm are you aiming for a MLU or labour ward? At my MLU we can stay in the room until discharges, with partners, so no need for postnatal ward at all which is a huge relief.

@DressingGown87 well done being so productive!!! I'm really glad I got the big items done a few weeks ago because now at 36 weeks I'm shattered and spherical and moving is just not fun. Still haven't cleaned the fridge. Really impressed you have.

@roarfeckingroarr you're so close to the end now :) I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I can go to the MLU.

@DressingGown87 I think they're meant to be discussing birth plans at my next appointment so i can speak to them then, although i never see the same person so can't be completely sure.

I know I've missed out a couple of other replies but just while I'm catching up tonight - OMG yes @DressingGown87 I have developed some around my collar bone too?! Sooooo weird. I actually noticed one under my boob I've had for a while has got bigger and darker which I'm going to get checked out in case it's actually a mole. As if we don't have enough weird symptoms to content with 😂

Talking of spider season, one of the BIGGEST I've seen in a while decided to scuttle under our bedroom door the other night then charge across the room towards some mess I was organising. Luckily I spotted it and jumped up, caught it with my phone flashlight so it stopped and then spent a few minutes pathetically shouting up to my boyfriend in the attic to come down to sort it out (he couldn't hear me) - poor guy thought something was really wrong the way I was screaming!

@1990shopefulftm I know! So close! Crazy to think I'll be full term in 6 days. Baby feels so big and I had the most lovely time earlier this evening with DP marvelling at feeling him move about so much. Do you have any reasons why you wouldn't be able to use MLU?

@roarfeckingroarr your so close!! I think it’s flown by this pregnancy. I have productive days and then days I just CBA! My diary is jam packed with work for the next few weeks, so I thought sod it! Tomorrow’s job is doing the winter garden prep! Great that he’s moving so much, I think I have a lazy baby.

@1990shopefulftm just go with your birth plan, and ask to discuss it. I’m sure they will be accommodating, even if it’s a different MW.

@Freddie1987 they are so weird aren’t they. I’ve just noticed my neck so far and armpit!! Hoping they drop off. Hormones are crazy things! Omg I would hate that! If I see a big one I don’t know what I’m going to do, use to get my step kids to get them 😂

@roarfeckingroarr they've said as long as I don't have a bad asthma flare up in the mean time, I can use the MLU. my sugar came back high on my last urine test but if that's normal at my next appointment then that should be fine.

@1990shopefulftm fingers crossed for you!!

@DressingGown87 I'm absolutely regretting my decision to work to what will be 38 + 5 😂. It's from home still - all but next Friday when I'm heading in for a bit of a send off from my lovely colleagues. If we ever do this again, I'm 100% finishing a bit earlier. How are you feeling and how's the house?

@roarfeckingroarr I’m doing alright! Birthing partner is currently in isolation 🙈 so hoping there isn’t an early appearance. I’m not finding work too bad, glad it’s from home though, it’s giving me something to do. Plus taking to people is nice. I working until a week before my induction at 39! Going to do my main handover next week though just incase. Have you decided how long your having off? Has your DP managed to get his paternity?

So my trust have just done this, but looks like it might be national? @1990shopefulftm

Maternity visiting guidance is changing today, Tuesday, 15 September 2020, in accordance with the national guidance.

• Two birthing partners can be in attendance for labour and birth on Delivery Suite / Birth Centre

• One birthing partner can support women in early labour and when labour is being induced on the Maternity Ward at all times
• Visiting remains restricted to one named person only on the maternity wards between 10am and 7pm
• All visitors will be asked to remain by the bedside when visiting, in all areas
• Women are requested to attend outpatient appointments unaccompanied
• Partners can attend the 20 week scan appointment

Please note this guidance may have to be revised if the local or national incidence changes.

@DressingGown87 that's a big relief, was that on their website? Just got to hope that people in our city don't let the rate go up more incase they reverse it although it was so much worse in April so who knows.